


The importance of feeling needed

by laddyuna



Series: Waiting for the rain to stop [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Friendship/Love, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Tragedy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-04-26 09:07:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 33
Words: 112,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4998940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laddyuna/pseuds/laddyuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Few months after Ultimecia’s defeat, Seifer tries to return to a normal life, but people don’t forget easily…his life changes when he meets a little girl in the middle of an unknown area…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time to hear the truth

**Author's Note:**

> I added some new characters. I think their names are gonna recall you some memories (for FF series’s fans of course!)  
> This is my first fanfiction so i hope it's not so bad...Please give your opinion and thank you in advance for your good or bad comments and please don't be too rude with me ^_^  
> English is not my language so sorry for the faults...The first chapter is short but the others are longer.

Deling city.

« I’m sorry miss but i can’t. He won’t stay! » said the barman with an angry voice.  
« I know he’s stubborn, I’m sorry but i promise he won’t do it again. He’s gonna work hard and… »  
« No Fujin ! I know he’s your friend but he’s fired. I don’t want to see him anymore. Now leave! » he said before closing the door behind him.  
Fujin didn’t move immediately. She left the bar and joined Raijin who was waiting for her on the pavement on the opposite side.

« So ? » Asked Raijin.  
« No. He didn’t listen to me…he won’t hire him again. »  
« Oh…Shit ! »  
« Let’s go! »

Raijin et Fujin walked on the streets without saying a single word. When they arrived at their hostel, Seifer was waiting for them.

« Welcome back. » He said with a little smile.  
Fujin didn’t answer and walked toward the bathroom without paying attention to him. Seifer looked Raijin.  
« What’s wrong with her? »  
“She’s angry, ya know ? You shouldn’t tease her. She’s gonna beat you if you do it…” Explained Raijin who seemed to be a bit nervous.  
“Why? I didn’t do anything…” Started to say Seifer when he was interrupted by Fujin’s voice.  
“YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”   
“What?” Answered Seifer with a surprised look on his face.  
“You are already fired after two days in this bar! TWO FUCKING DAYS SEIFER!”   
“It wasn’t my fault Fuu…the others…” He was interrupted again.  
“It’s always the others Seifer! ALWAYS!”   
“It’s true! They laughed at me! They said I was the sorceress ‘s whore and…”  
“You didn’t need to fight with them, ya know?” Added Raijin.  
“I won’t let anybody insult me! Even these bastards! They deserved it!” Said Seifer.  
“You need a job, ya know? You just had to do the dishes… ”   
“I know! Thanks Raijin! I’ve tried! I’ve tried everything to stay calm but they hate me.” replied Seifer who seemed to be more and more pissed.  
“They have the right to hate you.” Said coldly Fujin.  
Seifer looked at her angrily.  
“Do you think I don’t figure out?”   
“Yes.”   
“What?”   
“I think you don’t realize all the bad things you did.”   
“Fuu…” Tried to say Raijin.  
“You don’t know how much people had suffered because of you. You’re still the same! Arrogant and childish! Selfish and ungrateful!” She continued.  
“Selfish? Ungrateful?” Asked Seifer with his classic smirk.  
“Yes! That’s what I said!”   
“Seifer… You lost all the jobs you got, ya know? The barman was our friend. He hired you because he knew us. But you messed up all the time!” Added Raijin.  
“We gave you everything! Do you have any idea how was it hard to get this job for you? Who do you think you are? You were the sorceress’s knight! Did you really think that people would welcome you with open arms?” She asked him.  
“I’ve never asked you to join me!! I didn’t need your help!” Said Seifer annoyed.  
“That’s what you say! You know it’s not true!”   
“I’m such a pain in your ass Fuu, do I ? That’s what you say? Why don’t you join Puberty-boy then?”   
“We should’ve done it.” She said quickly without hesitation.  
“Fuu…”   
“It’s the truth Raijin. That’s enough! Why should we ruin our own life because of him?” She demanded to Raijin.  
“I don’t need you! I never needed you!” Told Seifer coldly.  
“FINE! SO GET OUT!”   
“FUCK YOU!” shouted Seifer.

He left the room angrily. He glared at Fujin and Raijin with a furious look. He took Hyperion with him and walked in the streets without looking back.  
He left the city and he arrived in the land. He got attacked by monsters quickly.

“COME ON! DO YOU WANT TO DIE SO BADLY?” Yelled Seifer at the monsters. He killed them without any effort. He was so angry that he could destroy everything. “FUCK YOU!”


	2. Time to be a hero

Seifer walked in Galbadia land. He didn’t know where to go. He stopped at the beach and lay down on the sand. He looked at the sky, sadly.  
“I never needed anybody. Why should I care?” He asked himself.  
He never wanted to admit it but he knew Fujin was right. He knew all the things she did for him with Raijin. After the end of the sorceress’s war, the three friends went to Balamb. They spent few days there before people recognized the ex-sorceress’s knight. Seifer was still wanted. The Galbadia, Balamb and Esthar authorities considered him as a public enemy and wanted to judge him, probably to execute him or to imprison him for the rest of his life. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He was so tired.

  
_“Alone again my Knight?”_  
“Fuck you Bitch! I’m not your knight!”  
_“Look at yourself…you are pitiful…”_  
“Thanks to you!”  
_“No my knight…you are useless. That’s why you’re alone. Even your last friends left you…”_  
“I don’t need them. I don’t need you. I need nobody!”  
_“That’s what you say…”_  
“That’s the truth! Get out of my head! I don’t want to hear your fucking voice anymore!”  
_“You are useless…you can’t do something right, even when you were with me. You are so weak…nobody needs you.”_  
“SHUT UP!”

  
Seifer woke up. He heard her voice in his dreams. She broke his mind, his soul. She forced him to do things he didn’t want to. Torture, murder…he never wanted to do all this bad…never…but he didn’t have the choice. She controlled his mind…the same way she controlled Edea. It was true he was arrogant, a bully, and a little stubborn…but he wasn’t a monster. He wasn’t a bastard but nobody would believe it. Nobody would trust him anymore. He was alone now.  
“Fuck you Bitch!” He said out loud.  
He stood up and started to walk. He didn’t know where to go but he couldn’t stay here.

 

* * *

Fujin and Raijin left Deling City for Timber. They were in the train. Fujin looked at the window. Raijin was in front of her.  
“You shouldn’t have said that to him, ya know? It was rude.” Told Raijin.  
Fujin stayed quiet.  
“You know how he is…It’s hard for him to know that everybody hates him, ya know?” Added Raijin.  
She didn’t answer.  
“Fuu…Seifer is our friend. We can’t turn our back to him. We are a posse, ya know?” He continued.  
“We were a posse.” She said sadly.  
“Fuu…”  
“Raijin…I know but I can’t take it anymore. He will never change. He will never admit he was wrong. It’s always the others. Always. I can’t…I know it’s hard for him, but it’s hard for us too. He never thought about that. Always him. We’ve tried to help him. We’ve protected him from everyone. We hid him from the authorities…but we can’t run away for the rest of our life. We can’t. And I don’t want to do all these sacrifices anymore for someone so selfish…” She explained.  
Raijin closed his eyes and crossed his arms against his chest. He didn’t add another word.  
They arrived in Timber, and took a room in a motel. When Raijin closed the door behind him, Fujin fell in his arms.  
“Fuu?”  
“Comfort me!”  
He stayed quiet and took her in his strong arms, kissing her forehead. He looked at in her only eye and smiled, before giving her a long and passionate kiss. They went to the bed and made love. They were together since the beginning, never separated. They knew each other better than anybody. They would stay together forever until their death. They didn’t know what they could do now. Maybe the garden would accept them to return…

 

* * *

Seifer walked and walked again. He fought when monsters attacked him, and stole their magic. Sometimes, he found some food, fruit on the trees…or fish in the sea, but not often. He was hungry…and lonely. He was tired to walk. He didn’t know where he was. He looked for a city but saw nothing. Just the coast and the land…Galbadia was a big continent. He approached from the missile base and the desert prison destroyed. Too many painful memories. It was there where he did the most horrible things. He remembered when he captured Squall and the others…When he tortured Squall, when he launched missiles to Trabia Garden and to Balamb…so many people lost life because of him…he could see their blood on his hands…It was hard for him to believe he did this. He continued to walk and ran faster and faster as if he wanted to escape from his past. He arrived in a calm land. He didn’t meet a monster on his way when he heard someone screaming. He ran in the direction of the shouts and saw a little girl who was shaking, curled up in a ball. A big bird flew in the sky, just above her head and tried to eat her. Seifer took his Hyperion in his hand and started to fight. The bird rose in the sky and Seifer used a magic fire spell to kill it. The bird fell in the ground. He looked at the dead creature to be sure he killed it and he turned around to see the little girl who was still shaking.  
“Hey! It’s ok. He’s dead. Don’t worry.” He said.  
The little girl didn’t move. She was still afraid. She was probably about four. She had long black hair and blue eyes. She had a pale white skin. Her little nose was long and her shaking lips were thin and pink. She wore a green shirt above her blue overall. She had a pair of white shoes with green socks.  
“Are you hurt?” Asked Seifer.  
She didn’t reply.  
“You’re safe now.” He repeated softly, caressing her hair.  
The little girl looked at him. She was crying.  
“It’s ok. Don’t worry. Are you hurt?” He asked again.  
She shook her head.  
“What’s your name?”  
She didn’t answer. Seifer started to think. Maybe she was afraid of him?  
“I won’t hurt you. Don’t be afraid.” He tried to reassure her. Maybe she knew the ex-sorceress' knight?  
“You know who I am?” Told Seifer.  
She shook her head again without talking. He was a bit relieved.  
“Ok. I’m gonna take you home. Where are you from?”  
She pointed a direction with her finger behind him.  
“Ok. Let’s go.”  
He stood up. The little girl tried to do the same but she fell into the ground. She was still shaking, and she seemed to be incapable of walking. Seifer sighed.  
“I think you are still afraid to walk. I’m gonna carry you on my back. Come on.”  
He held his hand on her direction. She smiled and grabbed it. Seifer took her in his strong arms and placed her in his back. He started to walk. He could feel her little arms around his large shoulders. Her head was near of Seifer’s neck. He felt her breath on his flesh. She was so fragile…After few hours, they arrived in a small town…Winhill.  
“It’s the first time I come in this place. It’s nice.” Said Seifer. “Where do you live?”  
The little girl showed him a little house on the left. There was nobody in the streets. It was late in the afternoon. The night started to fall. Seifer knocked at the door. He stayed in front of the house, hoping nobody would recognize him. An old woman opened the door. She had white long hair in ponytail. She had blue eyes and had the same face older than the little girl: a long nose and a large mouth with thin pink lips. She wore a black dress with a grey shawl, and a pair of slippers.  
“Yes?” Asked the old grandma. She didn’t notice the little girl was in Seifer’s back. He put her down on the floor.  
“ Lulu! Thanks God! I was so worried! I’m looking for you since the morning! Where were you?” She asked to the little girl, kissing her cheek. But Lulu didn’t answer. She looked sorry but she turned around and looked at Seifer with a big smile.  
“Oh...where did you find her?” Asked the grandma to Seifer.  
“She was near of the forest. A monster attacked her, but don’t worry, she’s not hurt.” Answered Seifer.  
“You saved her? Thanks young man! You are so kind! I was so worried. Everybody in the town was looking for her, I’m so relieved.” She was happy. She took Seifer’s hand and invited him to come.  
“Come in. I want to thank you. Would you stay for dinner?” She asked with a large smile. Seifer was a bit nervous. He was tired and hungry but he didn’t want to stay.  
“Don’t be so shy young man! Come in. I’m gonna tell to the mayor Lulu is returned. Now, they can stop the research. Stay here, I come back in few minutes. “ She said. Without waiting a reply, she left, letting Seifer and Lulu alone. Seifer looked at her.  
“So…you are Lulu.” He told her. She was smiling. The little girl grabbed Seifer’s hand and took him with her in the small kitchen. The house wasn’t big. There was a little sitting room with an open kitchen. There was a rocking chair and a small red sofa. The walls were painted in grey. The floor was in black wood. It cracked under the feet when somebody walked. There were flowers in the vase, on the little table in front of the red sofa. The kitchen was nice, with a little table and four chairs in the middle of the room. There was a large fridge on the left, in the entrance. Still on the left, there was a gaz cooker just behind the table. On the opposite, there was a large dresser.

Lulu let Seifer’s hand and went to the dresser; she took two empty glasses and went to the fridge. She took a bottle of water. She set it on the table before sitting down on the chair. She looked at Seifer who followed her and did the same. They drunk together without saying a word. Lulu never stopped to look at him as if she was fascinated. Seifer was a bit embarrassed but not annoyed. He smiled and caressed her cheek with kindness. It couldn’t help it, the little girl was so cute. He was a bit surprised by himself. He wasn’t this kind of guy who was nice and patient, especially with children. He didn’t understand what was wrong with him. He wasn’t kind, definitely not a good guy…but he didn’t think when he saw the little girl in danger…he just did it. Maybe he wasn’t so bad?  
“I’m here. Sorry for the wait.” Said the grandma who was returned.  
“It’s ok.” Said Seifer.  
“I’m gonna make the dinner. You can take a shower if you want. I have some clean clothes for you.” She said.  
“No thanks ma’m. I’m gonna leave soon. I don’t need it.” Seifer told her.  
“ You won’t leave tonight. It’s already late and you look tired. I can see dark rings under your eyes.” She interfered.  
“But…”  
“Not “but” son! You need a shower, a good dinner and a good night. If you want to leave, you can do it tomorrow. Lulu’s gonna show you the bathroom.” Answered the grandma.  
Lulu took Seifer by the hand and he followed her. They went on the first floor by the staircase behind the red sofa. There were two rooms and another door for the bathroom. Lulu showed the direction and Seifer went inside. It was small but enough. There was a bathroom, a wc and a washbasin. He started to undress and opened the tap water. It was so good to feel hot water on his back, it was really relaxing. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He didn’t want to think, just enjoy this moment. When he had finished washing himself, he took a towel to dry his head and a bathrobe. He picked up his dirty clothes in his arms and opened the door when he saw the old woman in her room. The door was opened. The room was simple with a double bed and one bedside table with a lamp. She seemed to look for something in her cupboard.  
“I found you this. I think it’s your size. My husband was tall, like you.” She held him a green shirt, a grey boxer and a black pant. She gave him a pair of white socks.  
“Dinner is ready. We’re waiting for you.” She said with a smile.  
“Thanks ma’m.” Seifer replied.  
“You’re welcome!” She left.  
Seifer went in the bathroom again and dressed. The clothes were a little bit larger but it was comfortable. He went downstairs and joined Lulu and the old lady.  
“Take a seat.” She turned her back to grab a big plate of chicken.  
“Can I help?” Asked Seifer.  
“No thanks. I hope you like chicken and potatoes?” She smiled.  
He nodded. He sat down and looked at Lulu who was still smiling. He smiled too.  
They started to eat in silence when the old woman asked about him:  
“So young man? Where are you from?”  
“ Balamb. But I left Deling city about two days ago.”  
“Really? You are far away from your home, son…” she said.  
Seifer was suddenly sad.  
“I have no home ma’m…nobody’s waiting for me.” He replied.  
“Oh…sorry. Maybe am I too curious?” She was a bit embarrassed.  
“It’s ok.”  
“So…what’s your name, son?” She continued.  
Seifer was a bit surprised.  
“You…don’t recognize me?”   
“Sorry…this is a little town. We don’t go in other cities. Are you famous?” She asked.  
Seifer smiled sadly.  
“A kind of…but not in a good way ma’m…” he answered.  
“What do you mean, son?”   
“You…heard about the last sorceress’s war, don’t you?” he demanded with a nervous look.  
“I heard some rumors…but I don’t really know what happened…you know, people in this town are old. They don’t really move often so we don’t know what happens in other cities…we don’t have tv or newspaper from other places…” She explained.  
“I see…” He was a bit relieved.  
“You…were a soldier, don’t you?” She asked again.  
“We can say that…but not in the right side…”   
“There’s no “right side” in the war, son. We can’t blame soldiers because they do their job.” She replied with a smile.  
“Maybe you’re right…so…you never heard about the sorceress or…her knight?” he asked nervously.  
“I don’t know what you are talking about, son. A knight? What a strange idea for a sorceress…” She said with a laugh.  
“Yeah…”  
She stopped laughing.  
“You know, son…you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to…Maybe you were a soldier but I think you shouldn’t blame yourself. You just did your job…” she explained.  
“Thanks ma’m.”  
They stopped to talk for few minutes. Lulu was watching them quietly.  
“So…I still don’t know your name…” She asked again.  
Seifer wanted to reply but…maybe he could start a new life? Maybe, nobody in this town knew him, or his face…  
“I have no name ma’m…I’ve lost everything in this war…I just want to forget everything.” He answered.  
“So…how can I call you?” She told him.  
“As you wish. I don’t care.”  
“Vivi!”  
Seifer and the grandma looked at Lulu.  
“Lulu? You…you’re…talking again?” Stemmed the old lady.  
Seifer was surprised. “What’s wrong?” He asked.  
“She…she didn’t say…a single word since…her grandpa’s death…about two years ago…” The old lady started to cry. “I was afraid to…never hear her voice again…I’m so happy…”  
Seifer looked at Lulu who was smiling.  
“ So…you want to name me “Vivi”?” Said Seifer.  
“You…don’t like it?” Asked Lulu with a shy voice.  
In fact, Seifer absolutely hated this name. It sounded like a pet’s name…but Lulu was so cute…  
“Ok. I’m Vivi.” He finally agreed.  
“Yes! Vivi!” She shouted happily. “Hey! Holdyma! Don’t cry…please…” She said, trying to comfort her grandma.  
“ I’m so happy sweetie…” She said. She was still crying.  
Seifer stayed quiet. He was embarrassed, but he felt happy for the little girl and her grandma. Maybe, he started to open his heart?  
After dinner, they went in the living room.  
“I let you my room Vivi.” Said the old lady.  
“ No way ma’m. I’m gonna sleep in the couch. It’s ok.” He said firmly.  
“But…it’s not comfortable…”  
“It’s ok. Thanks for letting me stay.”  
“No need to thank me. I should be the one to thank you. You saved my little Lulu.”  
“ She is so cute…” Said Seifer with a smile. Lulu was blushing. She held him tightly in her little arms.  
“I think she likes you. After all, you are her hero.” Said the old lady.  
Seifer blinked.  
“Her hero?”  
“Yes! Vivi’s my hero!” Shouted Lulu.  
He smiled sadly. He always wanted to be a hero for someone…even for this ugly bitch…  
“Time for bed Lulu. Say goodnight to Vivi.” Told the grandma.  
“Goodnight Vivi!”  
“Goodnight Lulu. Have sweet dreams.” He said caressing her hair. She seemed to like it.  
“Goodnight ma’m.”  
“Goodnight son.”  
They went on their own rooms. Seifer lay down on the couch and closed his eyes.  
“What a nice bed…better than the sand.” He said to himself.  
He started to sleep. The couch was small but comfortable. Of course, Seifer was a bit taller for this, but he didn’t care. He was safe, in a place where nobody seemed to know him…maybe he could find a job here? He was woken up after three hours. A little hand was caressing his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw a little figure in front of him in the darkness.  
“Lulu? What’s wrong?” He asked.  
“I…I’m afraid Vivi…I made a nightmare…” She was shaking. “Can…I sleep with you?”  
Seifer was embarrassed. He didn’t want her grandma thought he was a pervert or something like that…but Lulu was afraid…  
“Ok. Come in my arms.” He moved away to give her some space to lie down. She grabbed Seifer’s strong arms and she closed her eyes.  
“Feel better ?” Asked Seifer.  
“Yeah…thank you Vivi!” She answered.  
“Try to sleep now. “  
“Yes.”  
Seifer looked her sleeping. She was facing him, so fragile, so vulnerable, so cute…  
“How it feels good to be trusted again…”though Seifer.


	3. Time to go on

Seifer woke up early in the morning. When he opened his eyes, he saw the little Lulu in his arms. She was sleeping peacefully with her stuffed chocobo in her hand. She was sucking her thumb. Seifer smiled. She was a lovable child. He didn’t understand why he was like this with the little girl…maybe because he felt so lonely. He looked at her when he saw her grandmother.

“Good morning Vivi.” She said with a low voice to do not wake up Lulu.

“Morning ma’m…I’m sorry but she came lately in the night…and she made a nightmare…so…”He was very embarrassed.

“Don’t worry son, I believe in you. Do you want a coffee? Lulu seems to be tired. Let her wake up by herself.” She added.

“Yes.” Seifer stood up carefully without making any noise and followed the old lady in the kitchen.

“Are you always so confident?” Asked Seifer.

“What do you mean, son?” She was a little bit surprised by this question.

“You invite a perfect stranger to stay in your place, and when you find your little girl in his arms, you are not surprised or afraid?” He said.

“I don’t think you are a bad guy. If you really wanted to hurt her, you wouldn’t have saved her yesterday, or you wouldn’t have brought her back in her home…” She answered.

“But I could be dangerous…or a thief?” He questioned.

“We don’t have anything to steal anyway…if you were dangerous, I would never have let you stay.” He replied.

“How do you know?”

“I don’t, but Lulu knows.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She has a sixth sense for this. She feels when somebody’s good. She seems to like you. I think she feels you’re a good boy that’s why she trusts you. I believe in her judgment so I trust you too.” She smiled.

Seifer sighted.

“What’s wrong, son?”

“Nothing ma’m…it’s just that…I’m not used to hear something like that.” He said sadly.

“What do you mean?”

“That…I’m a good boy…or that you trust me…it’s been a long time since somebody told me that…or to be honest with you…it’s the first time.” He looked down.

“Vivi…”

“It’s not like I don’t deserve it ma’m…”

“You…shouldn’t be so rude with you…I don’t know your past, but I’m sure you’re not so bad…”

“Whatever.”

“So…you were in Deling City?” She told him.

“Yes. I worked in a pub but I've been fired…”

“Why?”

“Because the other employees insulted me all the time.  I’ve just tried to defend myself…”

“That’s why you left?”

“Yes…but it wasn’t the only reason…”

“Hum?”

“I was with two friends, and we had a fight. They said it was my fault without even had tried to understand what happened.”

“Maybe they weren’t good friends for you if they didn’t believe in you?”

Seifer looked down again.

“No ma’m…they were…all I had. They followed me even when I was in trouble…they helped me when I needed, they found me jobs but I was fired all the time…we were…a posse.” He was sad.

“So…you like them. Did you ever say that to them?” She asked with a compassionate look.

Seifer stayed quiet.

“I see…So, what are you gonna do now?” She demanded.

“I don’t know. Maybe I could find a job here?”

“Why not? It’s a good place for a fresh start. Maybe you can repair my roof? We should have done this a long time ago, but my husband died two years ago, so…”

“Don’t you have children? Lulu’s parents?”

“ My son was a soldier. He died in a mission when Lulu was two. Her mother was a junkie. She died after Lulu’s birth.” She answered sadly.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t. It’s ok. Lulu was too young to remember. We took care of her, but when her grandfather died, she was so sad…but she’s ok now. She likes you.”

“I don’t know why she likes me so much.”

“I told you. She feels you’re good.”

 They stopped talking and sat down around the table when the little girl came.

“Morning!” She said

“Hi Sweetie! Did you sleep well?” Asked the old lady, kissing her cheek.

“Yes Mody! I made a nightmare but I slept with Vivi. Hi Vivi!” She said happily.

“Hi.” Replied Seifer with a smile.

They started to eat their breakfast. Seifer was happy to share this moment with them.

 

 Later, in the morning, He raised on the roof to repair it.

“Vivi?” Asked a little voice.

“Oh…Lulu. What’s up?” Said Seifer.

“Can I stay with you?” She demanded with a little smile.

“It’s too dangerous on the roof. You could fall.”

“I’ll be careful. I Promise!”

Seifer sighted. He just couldn’t say no to her, he started to wonder if he became weak or something.

“Fine, but watch out!” He said firmly.

“Yup!” She raised on the roof and sat down near to him.

“Vivi?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you gonna stay in Winhill?”

“I don’t know. If I find a job, maybe.”

“I hope you’ll find it. I don’t want you to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you.”

Seifer stopped what he did to look at her.

“Why?” He asked again.

“Because I like you.” She repeated.

“It’s not what I mean…why do you like me?” He said.

“I don’t know. I like you.” She said again.

Her words resounded in his head. “ _I like you._ ” She told him that again and again.

“You don’t know who I am, Lulu. You wouldn’t say that if you did.” He answered sadly.

“I don’t care. I will still like you.”

“Even if I’m a monster? An assassin? Or… ”

“You’re not a monster, or anything else. I know it.”

“You don’t know anything, child.”

“I still like you, and I want you to stay with me and Mody.”

Seifer fixed her in the eyes. The little girl was smiling. Why was she so nice with him?

“Vivi?”

“Yeah?”

“Does…it disturb you if I like you?” She seemed to be nervous.

“No…I just don’t understand why.”

“Here you are, you two!” Said a familiar voice.

“Mody?” Asked Lulu.

“What are you doing here Lulu? It’s dangerous.” Told the old lady.

“I was careful. I wanted to stay with Vivi.” She answered.

“Ok. Go inside with me. Let him work please.” She replied.

She looked at Seifer.

“Don’t worry Lulu. I’m almost done.” He told her with a smile.

“Ok.” She followed her grandma.

Seifer finished quickly and came back inside. When he went down the stairs, he saw a man who was sitting in the red sofa with the old lady. He was drinking a cup of tea and they were talking together. The man seemed to be tall, with brown short hair. He had green eyes, a large nose. His mouth was covered by his long beard. He wore a checked shirt with a pair of blue jeans and strappy sandals.

“Oh!Vivi! Are you done?” Asked the old lady.

“Yes ma’m.”

“Let me introduce. Vivi, this is Winhill’s mayor.”

“Nice to meet you, son! I’m Loan Mire.” Told the man to Seifer, holding his hand. Seifer shook it.

“Hi Sir!” Seifer replied with a shy voice.

“Thank you for Lulu. We were so worried.” He said, giving her a look.

“It’s nothing.” Seifer was so embarrassed. He just saved a little girl, the monster was so easy to defeat, it wasn’t a big deal.

“So Vivi, Miss Lain told me you’re looking for a job?” He asked.

“Yes sir.”

“Do you want to stay in Winhill?” He demanded.

“Why not? If I can find a place and a good job here, It would be great.” He answered.

“I’m a bit surprised, you know? Young people like you prefer go to big cities like Esthar or Deling City. They find Winhill boring…” He explained.

“I like this place.”

“Good. I think we can find you something to do. You know, most of the villagers are old or too young here, so I want to pump some new blood into this place. It will be a pleasure for us if you could stay here.”

“Thank you sir.”

“Thanks to you, son. Welcome to Winhill! This is your new home now!” He said with a big smile.

Seifer blushed a little. Lulu grabbed his hand.

“So you’re gonna stay with us Vivi?” She asked.

“Sure! I just need to find a new home…”

“You don’t have to! You can stay here.” Interjected the old lady.

“Thanks ma’m, but I can’t…”

“Yes you can! Please stay!” said Lulu.

“But…”

“It’s ok. We are happy to have you with us.” She replied.

“I…don’t know what to say…”

“SAY YES!” Yelled Lulu.

Seifer, the mayor and the old lady laughed.

“Ok Lulu. I’ll stay.” He said, caressing her hair.

“Yup! Vivi Stays!” She hugged him tightly.

“Fine. You can come to meet me tomorrow in the morning. I will find you some works to do…we are not rich, so…I hope you don’t want to be a millionaire…” Said the mayor, laughing.

“Don’t worry. I just need some food and a good place to sleep.” He answered.

“Good. I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow. Bye everyone!”

“Goodbye Mister Mire!” Replied the old woman. “Lulu? Maybe you could show the city to Vivi?”

“Yes! Yes! You come with me Vivi?” Said the little girl.

“Sure.” Seifer smiled.

 

They started to walk together. Lulu seemed to be happy. She was dancing and singing. Seifer looked at her with kindness. She was too cute. She approached and grabbed his hand.

“This is the village square. All the parties and ceremonies of the town are celebrated here.” She started to explain. “This is the bar. Nobody wants to buy it so all the people here take their turn to serve the others…” She continued.

“Why nobody buys it?” Asked Seifer.

“Because a woman was the tenant before. Everybody loved her. But when she died, people were so sad that they refused to sell it…” She explained.

“So it’s a kind of way to do not forget her…” he replied.

“Yes. I suppose. But I don’t know her. She died before my birth.”

“I see.”

“Then, this is the floral shop. The tenant is an old lady. She is a bit crazy and nasty sometimes, but she can be nice when she wants, so don’t worry about her. She’s like this with everyone…” She laughed.

“Ok…”

They continued to walk. They were practically outside of the town.

“And…this is the chocobos farm. Be careful when you walk here. Sometimes, there’s a baby chocobo who crosses the road quickly. You could hurt him if you don’t pay attention…”

“I’ll be careful. Don’t worry.”

They walked and they decided to lie down on the grass. They looked at the sky.

“Look Vivi! This cloud is alike a pony, don’t you think?” She said.

“You are right. This one looks like a big rabbit.” He added.

“Yes! It’s so big!!” She answered. Seifer felt happy. He didn’t know why but he enjoyed staying with the little girl. She put her head in his chest. Seifer grabbed her tiny shoulder with his left hand.

“I really like you Vivi. I hope you will stay with me forever.” She said quietly.

Seifer raised his body a little bit to see her face. He caressed her long black hair with his hand.

“Vivi? What’s wrong?” She asked nervously.

“What?”

“You…seem to be sad…” She was worried.

It was true. Seifer was sad. He thought he didn’t deserve her kindness or her love.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry.” He tried to reassure her.

“You’re…lying…” she replied.

“Lulu…”

“Sorry. Maybe I said something which made you sad? “ She demanded with a worried look.

“No, no Lulu…It’s the opposite. I’m just…happy. You really make me happy. I’m not sad, don’t worry sweetie.” He answered.

She hugged him tightly without saying a word, as if she knew he needed it. Seifer took her in his large and strong arms and kissed her forehead. He forgot everything at this moment: his past, his mistakes, his bad choices, his friends…event this bitch in his head. Nobody knew him here. Winhill was far away from Deling City and other cities. He could be safe, and happy here.

“ _I think I’m gonna like this place.”_ He thought.  


	4. Time to be considered

“ _You’re stubborn my knight…You never follow my orders._ ”

“I do My Lady.” Tried to say Seifer with a nervous look.

“ _Wrong, child. Your thoughts are like an open book for me…_ ”

“My Lady…it’s not what…” He started to explain when he got cut off.

“ _ENOUGH!_ ”

He kept silent.

“ _I’m enough about your insubordination. You know what does it mean, right?_ ”

“No…My Lady…” Seifer begged.

“ _If you like to be punished so badly, you should have told me…_ ”

“NO!” He yelled when he felt strong arms grabbing him.

 

“AH!” Seifer woke up. He looked around him. He was in the same little house in Winhill. Lulu was by his side.

“Vivi? You’re okay?” She asked with a worried look.

“Lulu? “ Seifer felt disoriented.

“You struggled in your sleep. I’ve tried to wake you up but…” She touched his cheek. “You’re okay?”

Seifer was dripping with sweat. He tried to breathe slowly, and smiled to Lulu.

“I’ve just made a nightmare. It’s ok now.” He answered. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

Lulu looked at him, still worried, but Seifer turned his back. He didn’t want to show his weakness, definitely not in front of the little girl. He went into the bathroom and started to wash himself.

“I’m so dirty…” he thought. All the water and the shampoo of the world would never clean him. He just wanted to pull out his skin, but he was still dirty inside, even more…What a disgrace for him. Him, the great Seifer Almasy, the best soldier of Balamb Garden, the biggest fighter, the sorceress’s knight, forced to hide himself in the middle of nowhere…

He stopped to think, and got dressed. His own original clothes were clean. He didn’t wear his grey trench coat today, just his blue sleeveless shirt and his black pants. He joined the old lady and Lulu for the breakfast.

“Morning ma’m.” He said.

“Morning, son. Are you ready for your first day?” She asked.

“I am.”

“Good. You can go to the city hall at eight. I think it’s not too early. Lulu’s gonna go to school so you could go together.” She continued, serving him a cup of coffee.

“Thanks. I didn’t see a school yesterday…” He demanded.

“It’s not a big school, just a small one. There are just about sixty children…”She replied.

“I see. So, do you like going to school Lulu?” He asked, looking at the little girl who was drinking her hot chocolate.

“Not really…but Mody told me I must go…” She answered.

“You should hurry you too. You’re gonna be in late.” The old lady said to them.

 

When they finished, Seifer and Lulu said goodbye to the grandmother. Seifer took Hyperion in his back. He never left her. They started to walk, holding together by the hand.

“Vivi?”

“Yes Lulu?”

“Why do you always have this sword on your back?”

“Oh…you know, she’s important to me.”

“Why?”

“Because, it’s the only thing I have, and I treasure her. She even has her own name.”

“What’s her name?”

“Hyperion.”

“Oh…that’s a strange name.”

“I know. I carry her with me everywhere I go to defend myself.”

“You don’t need to defend yourself here…nobody will hurt you.”

“Yeah…but she’s a kind of friend for me.” He said sadly.

“And…me? I’m your friend too?” She asked with her big blue eyes wide open.

“Of course! “ He answered.

“Yes! Vivi’s my best friend!” She said happily.

“It’s here. Time to go to school sweetie.”

She raised her arms. Seifer squatted at the ground to be at her height. He caressed her face and she squeezed him tightly with her little arms, before giving him a little kiss on his cheek. 

“Have a nice day Vivi!” She said with a smile. She ran toward a little house where other children entered. She turned back to say a last goodbye to Seifer with her hand. Seifer blushed and touched his cheek. Damn! He became so weak with Lulu! But, in another way, he was happy. She was so nice, how could not be happy with an adorable child like Lulu?

 

He went into the city hall, and was welcomed by the Mayor.

“Good morning, son! Nice to see you again!” Said the man, holding his hand to Seifer.

“Hi Sir.”

“So, are your ready to work?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. I have few works for you today. First of all, the school roof. There are weather cracks. We had three big raining days about two months ago. We tried to repair it but it was just for the emergency. I went into Deling City to find someone, but nobody wants to come here. They say Winhill is too far for them. I’m gonna show you. Come with me.”

“Yes.”

“Uh…sorry but do you really need this?” Asked the Mayor, pointing Hyperion with his finger.

“I never move without my weapon, sir.” Answered Seifer.

“I understand…but we’re not in danger here…” Replied the man.

“Does it disturb you?” Asked Seifer. He really didn’t want to let her.

“No…not really. I suppose it’s because you were a soldier. It doesn’t bother me.” He told him.

“Thanks for understanding.” Seifer answered, he was relieved. 

 

Seifer followed him. The school was near of the city hall. When they arrived, Seifer saw a little class with thirty or twenty children. He recognized Lulu. She was looking at the window without listening to her teacher. She seemed to be bored. When she saw Seifer, she raised her head and she gave him a big smile. He winked at her with a smile.

“She seems to like you.” Said the Mayor.

“Huh?” Blinked Seifer.

“Lulu. She’s usually a shy child, you know?” He answered.

“She is a cute child.”

“You’re right.”

They went inside of the school and rose on the roof.

“Do you think you can fix it?” He asked.

“Yeah. No problem. I just need some materials.” Replied Seifer.

“Ok. I’m gonna bring you what you need. Thanks, son!” Said the Mayor.

 

He left and returned after few minutes with materials. After one hour, he was almost done. He stopped to make a pause. He sat and looked down, on the schoolyard. The pupils were having their break. He returned to his work when he heard shouts. He turned around: the children were running everywhere and shouting. Two monsters were flying above them. One of the birds came down to the ground and started to attack a child who was trying to escape. The young boy got caught and struggled, when Seifer jumped from the roof and came out with Hyperion. He killed the bird with one thrust. The child wasn’t seriously injured. The other bird was still in the air. Seifer used a magical spell of ice. The monster froze immediately, and fell into the ground. Its body smashed to bits. Seifer went to the little boy and checked his injuries.

“It’s ok, don’t worry.” He said to reassure the poor little boy.

“It…hurts.” Replied the child with difficulties.

Seifer used a cure spell. The blood stopped dripping.

“Oh…what happened Mister?” Said the child.

“I’ve cured you. You’ll be fine now.” Seifer replied.

“Vivi!” Yelled a little voice.

“Lulu! Are you ok?” Asked Seifer, worried.

“I’m not hurt. You’re the best!!” She said happily. “It was so great! You’re so strong!!”

She hugged him. He was relieved she was safe.

“Mister!!! You’re strong! Very strong! Can I see your sword please?” Asked two children who went to them.

“Oh…if you want, but don’t touch her. It’s too dangerous.” He answered. Lulu was still in his arms.

Seifer showed Hyperion to them.

“Whaouh! It’s beautiful! I want the same!” Said a little boy. “What is it Mister? It’s a gun or a sword?” asked another.

“It’s a gunblade. You can use her like a sword and like a gun.” Answered Seifer.

“Her name’s Hyperion!” Said Lulu.

Seifer smiled at her, when the Mayor and a young lady went to see them.

“Is everything alright? Is anybody hurt?” Asked the Mayor.

“Vivi saved us! He’s the best!” said Lulu.

“He cured me! Look at. I was bleeding but there’s nothing now!!!” Said the little boy who was injured, showing his arm to the Mayor and to the lady.

“Really?” Asked the lady, checking his arm.

“Yes Madam!!”

“What happened Vivi?” Asked the Mayor.

“Two monsters attacked the children in the schoolyard. I killed them.” Replied Seifer.

“Thanks God, you were there! It’s a good thing you had your sword with you after all. How did you cure the child?” He asked.

“I used a magic spell. He wasn’t seriously injured, don’t worry.”

“Thank you so much Mister. I’ve tried to keep most of the children in a safe place but…” Tried to explain the young lady. She was small, and had long blond hair. Her blue eyes seemed to cry but she restrained herself. She had a long and thin nose and pulpy lips. She wore a yellow dress with an orange vest, and a pair of leather brown scandals. He supposed she was a teacher.

“It’s ok. Everybody’s safe now.” He told her.

She smiled. “Thanks Mister Vivi.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I think we’ll be safe with you, Vivi. We won’t fear the monsters anymore now!” Commented the Mayor.

“It wasn’t a big deal, sir…” Seifer felt embarrassed.

“Mister! Mister! Will you teach us how to fight?”

“Yes, please! I want to be also strong as you!”

“Me too!”

All the children yelled around Seifer. He was requested by everyone. Lulu seemed to be sad because she felt ruled out. He went to her and carried her in his arms.

“Lulu’s first, boys. But why not?” He said.

Lulu smiled and looked at Seifer happily. 

 

At the end of the day, the children left the school. Seifer was waiting for Lulu. He’d working hard and received some money for his job. The Mayor told him people would probably need him for other works tomorrow. When Lulu saw Seifer, she ran to him and grabbed his hand. They walked to their home.

“Vivi?”

“Yes?”

“Will you really teach me how to fight?”

“Only if you want it to and if your grandma agrees.”

She smiled.

“Great!! Do you think I can become strong like you?”

“Sure.”

“You know, everyone in school was so impressed by you. They asked me if they could come to see you…I was so proud.”

“Proud? About what?”

“That you’re my friend!” She replied. Seifer stopped in the middle of the road.

“Vivi?”

“Why…do you like me so much Lulu? You know me since two days but you trust me, you like me…is it because you feel safe with me?” Asked Seifer.

She approached to him.

“I feel safe with you. But it’s not just for that…I mean…I like you. I don’t know why, but I like spending time with you, and…I’m happy with you. Why do you ask me that again? Is it wrong for me to like you?” She questioned.

 “I…I don’t know what’s going on Lulu. About two days ago, I was alone and homeless, without a job and without knowing where to go…and now, I’m here, with you…it’s just too sudden. I’m not used to be considered…”

She took his hand. “About two days ago…I was sad. My grandpa died two years ago, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and it made me cry all the time. Mody and the others always told me the pain would disappear with the time, but I was still sad. Sometimes, I left to hide. I didn’t want to cry in front of Mody, because she would be worried and sad too. But when I met you, the pain went away. I still missed Popy but I didn’t feel sad anymore…” Explained the little girl.

“Lulu…”

“One day, Popy told me someone was waiting for me somewhere…someone who would protect me, who would stay with me and make me happy…I think it’s you…I don’t know why but I feel it’s you.” She continued to say.

Seifer sat on the grass. She followed him.

“You know Lulu…I used to think the same. I…met someone. She asked me to protect her…I thought it was my fate, I trusted her…but…but…” He felt a little hand in his shoulder.

“She made you suffer?” She guessed.

Seifer Blinked. “How…do you know?”

“You…were talking in your dream this morning. You begged “her” to stop…I was worried.” She said softly.

Seifer blushed. “Did I say anything else?”

“No…you kept begging, and you said you just wanted to protect “her”...”

Seifer didn’t reply. He was so embarrassed.

“Vivi…I don’t know what happened with “her” but I don’t want you to suffer anymore. I won’t let anybody hurt you again. Never ever. So please…stay with me.” She said with a sad look.

Seifer faced her. He grabbed her face with his large hands and kissed her cheek.

“You’re so cute Lulu…you already gave me so much. I really like you sweetie. I’ll stay by your side.” He held her tightly. He wanted to cry but he restrained himself. He was so happy.

“ _How could a little girl make me feel so happy?_ ” He thought.  


	5. Time to go home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter with Fujin and Raijin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the chapter four yesterday...i've made a mistake when i posted it. No sex until the chapter ten...sorry to keep you waiting guys ^_^  
> i hope my story is not so bad...

Fujin and Raijin were standing in front of the Garden, in Balamb.

“Are you sure you wanna go?” Asked Raijin.

“Yes. Let’s go.” Said Fujin firmly.

When they entered in the garden, students started to fix the ex discipline committee. Some of them were worried, others were angry, but the two lovers didn’t care. They went to the elevator.

 

Squall was in his office. He was the commander but just temporarily. Cid was still the headmaster but he left for few months to help his wife in the orphanage. They decided to open it again, and the place needed to be refreshed. He was still with Linoa who lived with him in the garden. Selphie and Irvine went to Trabia to help for the Garden reconstruction. Quistis was in Esthar for a mission. Squall started to suspect something between her and his father Laguna. They spent a lot of time together lately, but he decided it wasn’t his business. He was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Hi Squall! What’s up?” Asked the martial artist.

“Hi Zell.” Squall replied.

“Something’s wrong?” Asked the tattooed man.

“No. Do you need something?” He questioned.

“No…but if I can help you, I’m here.” He said happily.

“No thanks. I’m ok.” He replied.

Zell put a chair in front of him and sat. Squall looked at him. He was worried about his friend because he knew he was lonely. Zell broke up with the library girl after two months. Everybody in the group had already someone, but Zell was still alone. He never complained about that, but it was written in his face.

“You seem to be bored, don’t you?” Asked Squall.

“A little bit. I come back from the training center, but I’m fed up to kill bugs and t-rex. Do you have some news about the others?” He demanded.

“Yes. Selphie, Irvine and Quistis should come back soon.” He replied.

“Great! “What about Linoa?”

“She’s with her father in Deling City. She still tries to convince him for Timber independence.”

“I see.”

They were interrupted by a student who knocked at the door.

“Sorry to disturb you Commander but Fujin and Raijin are here. They insist to talk to you.”

Squall and Zell looked each other.

“What’s wrong with them?” Asked Zell with a surprised look.

“I don’t know. Is Seifer with them?” asked Squall.

“No sir.”

“Let them come.”

Fujin and Raijin entered in the office.

“COMMANDER!” Said Fujin.

“Hi.” He replied with a neutral voice.

“We came to…apologize. We know we fucked up in the past…and we are sorry, ya know?” Started to explain Raijin nervously.

Squall fixed them. “Where’s Seifer?”

“GONE.” Replied Fujin.

“Gone?” Repeated Zell.

“Yeah…we’ve tried to help him after the war…he felt guilty, ya know? But he couldn’t return to a normal life. We found him jobs but he was fired all the time. We argued together three months ago and he left. We don’t know where he is or what he does now…” Explained Raijin.

“Why did you fight with him?” Questioned Squall.

“We should have never followed him. We’re sorry for everything we’ve done.” Said Fujin.

“Why now?” Asked Zell. “You didn’t answer.” Added Squall.

“We fought because…” Started Raijin.

“Because he’s a bastard. We’ve done everything for him but he didn’t deserve it. He ruined our life, and I don’t want to do anything else for him anymore. We were with him in Deling City about three months ago. We found him a new job in a bar thanks to a friend, but he fucked up again. He fought with employees and got fired. I had enough and told him to leave.” She continued.

Squall and Zell stayed quiet.

“We gave him everything, but…it wasn’t enough. He was never happy with what he got…I had enough to hide myself from the authorities, from people…I had enough to try to survive, to move all the time…I know what we’ve done, and we can’t go back to erase our mistakes. We came to end this. If you want to judge us, go ahead. We won’t run away anymore. We just wanted to make amends before.” Finished Fujin.

Squall looked at her.

“I won’t judge you, guys.” Said Squall.

“What?” asked Raijin.

“You’re not wanted by the authorities. It’s only Seifer. You two were just soldiers. And, at the end, you set Ellone free, so I won’t arrest you. You’re free.” Answered Squall.

Zell nodded to confirm them Squall said the truth.

“ What are you gonna do now?” Asked Zell.

“We…don’t know. We prepared ourselves to be arrested so…we didn’t think about it, ya know?” replied Raijin.

“Do you want to come back to the Garden?” Questioned Squall.

“Can…we?” demanded Fujin.

“Yes. I’ll talk to the Headmaster when he’ll come back. You can stay here If you want.” Said Squall.

“Man…thanks! We don’t know what to say…” Said Raijin.

“It’s okay. Welcome back.” He concluded.

They nodded. They felt relieved, and happy.

“So…you turned your back to Seifer?” Asked Zell.

Raijin looked down. He seemed to be sad, but Fujin fixed Zell.

“Yes.” She replied without hesitation.

Zell thought. Seifer was rude with him during their childhood, and during their formation in the garden. He tried to kill him and the others too…but It was hard for him to think the great Seifer Almasy, the biggest bastard in this world, this fucking arrogant man was alone now, hunted and hated by everyone…maybe already dead. It was just one year ago after the last sorceress’s war, but it seemed to be yesterday when he insulted and laughed at the martial artist all the time…Zell felt nostalgic, and he didn’t know why he felt a kind of depressed thinking about Seifer.

 

 


	6. Time to live

Six months later.

Seifer was still living in Winhill, with Lulu and Miss Lain. Everybody in the village knew him as Vivi. The Mayor gave him a little workshop where people went when they needed to be cured or to ask something. Seifer was a kind of handyman: a doctor, a warrior protecting people from the monsters, a joiner or a garage mechanic…he also accepted to train the children learning to defend themselves. Lulu was still by his side and they were more and more in collusion. Seifer wasn’t rich but he won enough money to help Mody and Lulu, or to go for a drink sometimes. He never left Winhill since the first day he came, but he was happy here. Sometimes, he went to the forest or to the land for training and to find some items or some magic spells. Lulu accompanied him all the time. They were inseparable.

In a cold and frosty afternoon, Seifer was in his workshop.

“How did you do this to your arm, boy?” Asked Seifer to the little boy.

“I…fell from the roof, but there was a tree so…” Started to explain the little child.

“You’re lying so bad Ron…” Answered Seifer.

“But it’s the truth Vivi. I promise…”He replied.

“Stop it Boy! I can recognize a Selek’s bite when I see it. How many times I told you to not go training without me?” He said angrily.

“I’m sorry Vivi…” The little boy looked down with shame.

“I don’t care about your apologies! You could die, you know? It’s dangerous! You’re not strong enough to fight alone. “ He explained curing his arm with a magic spell.

“I won’t do it again…I’m sorry Vivi. You’re not gonna tell my mom, don’t you? Please! “ begged the little boy.

“No I won’t. But I promise if you do it again, I’ll make you regret it.” He threatened him.

“Thanks Vivi!” Jumped the little boy. He left the workshop and went outside, when Lulu arrived.

“Hi Vivi!” She said.

“Hi Lulu! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at home with Mody?” He asked, kissing her cheek.

“She has a nap. We’ve made a cake so I brought you a piece.” She held out a little package. Seifer smiled.

“Thanks sweetie! Come inside. It’s starting to snow.” He turned his back and went to his desk.

“I love winter! Don’t you?” She asked.

“It doesn’t bother me.” He unwrapped the package and saw a piece of chocolate cake. He tasted it. “It’s delicious.”

“I knew you were going to like it! You like what is soft and sweetened.” She told him.

“You know me better than anybody Lulu!” Replied Seifer.

“Yes! It’s already late, are you gonna come back with me?” She asked.

“Yes. Let me close the workshop and we’ll leave.” He said.

“Great! Maybe we could make snowmen?” She proposed.

“There’s not enough snow for it. But we can go outside if you want? There’s a long time I didn’t see the beach. I suppose it’s nice with this weather, don’t you think?” He suggested.

“Yes! Let’s go!” She yelled with her little arms wide open.

 

They started to walk and left the village. It was still snowing.

“I saw Ron who left earlier…” She asked.

“Oh yeah…I’ve just cured his arm. He was injured but nothing serious.”

“How did he get that?”

“He fought a Selek alone and he has been bitten.”

“What a sissy! I can beat three Seleck on my own!” She said with pride.

“Don’t be so rude with him Lulu. He’s younger than you and I didn’t teach him how to use magic.” He told her.

“Oh…really?” She seemed to be surprised.

“Yeah. You’re the only one to whom I taught how to use the magic.”

“Why Vivi?”

“Because you’re special to me.”

She blushed and grabbed Seifer’s waist.

“What’s wrong Lulu?” Seifer was surprised by her embrace.

“You’re special to me too. I wish you’ll stay with me forever…” She talked softly.

He took her in his arms and gave her a little kiss on her forehead before carrying her on his shoulders. They arrived at the beach. The snow covered the sand and the sea was so calm.

“It’s beautiful…it’s like a white desert!” Said Lulu who was still on Seifer’s shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

They stayed quiet, watching the horizon. They sat on the snow and looked at the sea.

“Lulu?” Asked Seifer.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t be so rude with Ron…or with anybody else. I don’t like when you become nasty…” He told her without looking.

“I’m sorry Vivi…but I don’t like Ron. He laughs at me all the time; he irritates me so much…” She began to explain.

“I know but don’t be like that…please.” He repeated.

“Are you angry?” Asked Lulu worried.

“No, it’s just…I don’t want you to become like me.” He answered sadly.

“Vivi?”

“You know…not so long ago, I laughed at everyone. I was a bully and…” He sighted. “The only friends I had, dropped me…I probably deserve it but it still hurts…” He continued to explain.

“Vivi…”

“I did it with everyone…I had no reason to do it, but I thought it made me stronger. I was hated and people were afraid of me…” He thought about Garden and the orphanage gang. He thought suddenly about Zell, probably because he was his favorite victim.

“ I remember, there was a boy who grew up with me. He was afraid of everything and cried all the time when he was a child. I called him “crybaby” and laughed at him. When we met again, he was completely different. He was strong but I continued to sneer at him. I called him “chicken wuss”, “Hedgehog”, or other nasty names because of his appearance. I liked to make fun of him because he responded every time…but when I think about it now, I regret it. I’ve probably hurt him…” He said with tears in his eyes.

“It was just a prank…it’s not a big deal…” She tried to convince him.

“No Lulu…I made people hate me, I made him hate me. I thought I didn’t care but I realized it was wrong. I believed feelings or emotions just produced weakness. I was a soldier and I thought that they were weak…until I met you.”

“?”

“I met you when I lost everything. You were the one who had accepted me like I was, you gave me your affection and your kindness, you trusted me and…thanks to you, everyone in the village did the same…” She came in his arms and hugged him with her little arms.

“Vivi has a big heart. Even if he made mistakes, or said nasty things, he’s still good deep in his heart.” She reassured him.

“Lulu…”

“Nobody’s perfect…but I know Vivi’s a good man. Everybody in the village likes you so you’re not as bad as you think.” She smiled.

“You think so?”

“Yeah. You know, Mody told me something one day : we just need to remember good things or we would be sad for the rest of our life…”

“But what if there’s no good thing to remember?” asked Seifer.

“Then…forget everything.” She answered.

Seifer stayed quiet. He still hugged her in his arms.

“Vivi…suffers. I hate it.” She added.

He sighted.

“How can you read me so easily Lulu?” Asked Seifer.

“I can see pain in your eyes…I hate it so much when you’re sad…” She was so worried about him.

“I’m not sad Lulu…not anymore, thanks to you.” He replied.

She seemed to be relieved. She kissed him on his cheek and sat down on his lap.

“Can I ask you something?” she demanded.

“Yes?”

“How did you get this scar on your face?”

“Oh…I got it in a fight.” He remembered Squall’s face and their rivalry.

 “Who was it?”

“Just someone who grew up with me.”

“Is it the same man that you talked about earlier?”

“No. He’s another one.”

“Why did he this to you? I hate him!!”  

“Lulu?”

“He hurt you! I hate him.” She said with anger.

“I hurt him more, Lulu. And I was the one who started. He has the same scar on his face, I hit him first and he just defended himself. I can’t blame him for that.” Explained Seifer.

“I still hate him.”

He smiled.

 She was so adorable. Seifer held her tightly, without saying a word. She wrapped her hands around his neck. His heart was so broken that he wanted to scream. She held him against her little body. She felt the pain in his eyes and he was shaking. His breath was heavy.

“Vivi…you can cry if you want…I’ll never tell anybody…”

He stayed quiet and started to cry. He couldn’t hold his tears. Everyone had always chosen Squall, even if he tried so hard to be the best, he had never succeeded. Squall was a hero, he was loved by everyone, Seifer was just a failure…the bad guy…but not for Lulu…she was the only one.

 He felt no shame with her. He had never cried in front of anybody. He could feel her little hand in his hair. He cried and cried, until all the pain went away…

“ _Let your past behind you…she’s your everything now. You don’t need anything else as long as she’ll be by your side._ ” He thought.  


	7. Time to chase away

A lot of things happened in the Garden few months later. Raijin and Fujin got married and they worked with Squall and the others. Selphie and Irvine were returned from Trabia, and Quistis was engaged to Laguna. Squall wasn’t surprised at all because he had some suspicions but he was happy for the both of them. He felt guilty to never had returned Quistis’s feelings and he was worried for his father. Since his mother’s death, Laguna had never got a serious relationship, but Quistis was good for him even if she was younger. She would be able to make him more mature. Linoa and he were still together.

 

Squall went to the Headmaster’s office. Cid were returned and Edea was here too.

“Sir.” Said Squall.

“Hello Squall. Come in.” Replied Cid.

He entered in the office. Edea welcomed him with a kind embrace.

“How are you, son?” asked Edea.

“Hi Matron. Nice to see you again.”

“Me too. I saw Linoa this morning. She seems to be tired…” She told him.

“Yes. She doesn’t feel very well lately. She’s with Kadowaki now.”

“Good. What about you?”

“I’m fine Matron.”

She smiled, caressing his cheek tenderly. She joined her husband who was behind his desk.

“I wanted to give you my reports for the last missions, Sir.” Explained Squall.

“Good. Thank you. Raijin and Fujin seem to be efficient, working with you…” Said Cid.

“Yes, Sir… better than with Seifer. They had finally realized he was worthless.” Said Squall coldly.

Edea blinked. “You…shouldn’t say that, Squall…”

“It’s the truth, Matron.”

“No…he’s not as bad as you think…” She tried to convince him.

“Your kindness blinds you.” Answered Squall.

“Squall…Seifer suffered more than you could imagine…” Edea’s words were sad, as if she was depressed.

“Matron, you know how much I care about you, but I won’t forgive him for what he did to us.”

“I hurt you too…but you forgave me…”

“You weren’t yourself. You were under Ultimecia’s control.”

“It was the same for Seifer, Squall…”

“No Matron. He followed her by his own. Even Raijin and Fujin turned their back to him. He harmed us too much, I can’t forget.”

Edea looked down.

“I’ve to go. Linoa’s waiting for me.” Explained Squall.

“Go ahead. Thank you.”

“Sir. Matron.”

 

He left the office and went to the elevator to join Linoa at the infirmary. When he arrived, she was waiting for him in front of the entrance.

“Hi Honey!” She said happily.

“Hey! So? What did Kadowaki say to you?” He asked kissing her.

“Huh…can we go for a walk?” She replied nervously.

“What’s wrong?” Squall was worried.

“Come with me. I’m gonna tell you…”

They walked in the alleys. Linoa held his hand. She was nervous.

“So?” Asked again Squall.

She sat on a bench in the main hall.

“I’m…pregnant.” She said softly looking down into the ground.

Squall blinked. He stayed quiet. He didn’t reply. He was in shock.

“Squall?”

He was paralyzed, too much emotions in his head…

“Squall!! Talk to me!” Repeated Linoa.

“What…am I supposed to say?” He answered with a low voice.

“Tell me what you feel…” She said.

“I…don’t know, Honey…it’s just too sudden…” he faltered out.

“I know…same for me…but…” She hugged him. “I…want to be a mother…”

Squall kissed her chastely and smiled. “I’m happy…”

She looked at him. “Seriously?”

“Yeah…I’m…gonna be a father! I can’t believe it!” He said happily.

“So…it’s okay for you?” Asked again Linoa.

“Of course! We’re gonna have a baby, Lin! I can’t believe it!” He repeated.

She jumped in his arms. “ I’m so relieved!”

They were laughing and dancing of joy together, as if they were alone, seeing nobody around them, they were in their little world, just happy to share this moment.

 

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Squall joined Quistis, Selphie, Irvine and Zell at the cafeteria.

“Squall! We’re here!” Yelled Selphie.

Squall sat down with them.

“You look happy. What’s it?” Asked Irvine.

“I have an important thing to tell you, guys.” Squall said.

“We’re listening.” Told Quistis.

Squall took a breath before speaking: “Linoa’s pregnant.”

“Really???” shouted Selphie.

“Yes. She told me earlier. I just can’t realize it…I’m gonna become a father.” He said.

Quistis smiled. “We’re happy for you. I’m sure you’ll be a good father…Oh God! I’ve just realized that I’m gonna be a grandmother…”

“You’re right…I didn’t think about it. I need to tell Laguna too…”

“Congratulations, man! I’m so happy for you!!!” Said Zell taping him on the shoulder.

“Yeah! That’s good news!” Added the cowboy.

“Thanks guys!” Said Squall.

“Okay! Let’s celebrate!” Proposed Selphie.

 

The gang went out of the garden and entered in a pub in Balamb City. Linoa went to Deling City to see her father. Everyone enjoyed the moment.

When they left Balamb, they went to the beach. Selphie and Irvine were dancing in the sand. Quistis and Zell were sitting. Squall joined them. Quistis observed him.

“Something bothers you, don’t you?” She asked looking at Squall. Selphie and Irvine joined them.

“Yes…I think about Seifer…” replied Squall.

“What for?” demanded Selphie.

Squall didn’t answer immediately.

“I…want to find him.” He said.

“Why?” Asked Zell.

“Because I want to see him far away from my child. He’ll come back one day, and who knows what he’ll do then? He hurt Linoa so much, he won’t hurt us anymore…” He started to explain.

“But…what are you gonna do about it? “ Asked Irvine.

“I’ll find him and make sure of he won’t be able to do it anymore.” He said firmly.

Zell looked down. “So…you’re gonna chase him away, don’t you? Why don’t you forget about him? I mean…we didn’t hear about him since so long, why should he come back to bother you?”

“We can’t trust him Zell.” He answered. “He’s still wanted. He must be judged. Who’s with me?”

They stayed quiet. Irvine finally broke the silence.

“If you need us, we’ll be here for you, man.”

“Thanks.”

Nobody really wanted to chase away Seifer, but Squall was their friend. They wouldn’t let him, even if they didn’t share his point of view, but no one opposed.

 

 


	8. Time to say goodbye

Three months later.

Seifer woke up early in the morning. He started to make breakfast quietly to not disturb Mody and Lulu. He prepared coffee and toasts for the old grandma, cereals and orange juice for Lulu.

“Good morning Vivi!” Said the old lady.

“Hi Mody.”

“You’ve already done the breakfast? You’re so nice, son. You didn’t need to…”

“It’s not a big deal, you know? I can make it sometimes…”

She sat on a chair. She smiled.

“Thank you.” She said.

“No need to.” Seifer blushed.

“I mean…not just for the breakfast…Thank you to stay here with us. It’s almost a year since you came…” She explained.

“Yes, I know…but I should be the one to thank you. You did so much for me; I could never be able to explain how much it’s important for me…” He said with a shy voice.

“You already thank me more than you could imagine Vivi. You saved Lulu’s life and you make her so happy.” She answered.

“She’s the one who makes me happy. I don’t know what I would have become if I hadn’t met her... I’ve a job and everybody is so nice with me. I feel like I’m at home…”He replied.

“You’re at home, son. You’re one of us. Lulu loves you as everybody in this town. I hope you’ll stay by her side…”

“I won’t leave her, Mody. She’s…so important to me. I’ll never let her. Don’t worry about it, I’ll protect her. I’ve not intention to leave this place. I’ll be there with you and her forever.” He reassured her.

“That’s the only thing I needed to hear Vivi. Thank you.”

They were interrupted when Lulu joined them.

“Morning!”

“Morning Lulu.”

“Morning, sweetie. Come in. Vivi made your breakfast.”

“Thank you Vivi.”

“You’re welcome, cutie.” Seifer smiled at her.

 They started to eat, talking about the weather and the school. They were laughing and having a good time together. When Lulu and Seifer went out, the grandma held them two little packages.

“Don’t forget your lunch, you two. Have a nice day.” She said.

“Thank you Mody!” replied Seifer and Lulu in the same voice. They laughed and looked at the grandma who was smiling.

 

They walked together, holding hand.

“Your birthday is on the same month of Mody’s. What do you think she would like?” Asked Seifer.

“What about flowers?” she proposed.

“Yes, but not just flowers…I mean, I’ve already offered roses last month for the village celebration. I would like something more original…” He explained.

“I don’t know…but it’s not important. She’ll be happy with anything.” She reassured him. “What about you Vivi?”

“Huh?”

“Your birthday. You never told me when you’re born…”

“Oh…it’s not important.”

“Yes, it is! I want to know!” She stopped in the middle of the road.

“Lulu! You’re gonna be late for school. Come ‘on.”

 “Not until you tell me!” She kicked her foot in the grass.

“Lulu…”

“Tell me!”

 He sighted.

“ December 22nd.”

“Really? But it’s in two weeks!!!”

“And so?”

“But I need to think about your present!!”

“Lulu, don’t. it’s nothing. I don’t care…”

“No! It’s important! I want something good for you…”

He smiled and kissed her cheek. “I’ve already all what I need here, so it’s okay. Maybe you can just draw me something?”

“But when you make a gift, it’s supposed to represent all the love you have…” she complained.

“Anything from you will be great, angel. Don’t think too much about it, okay?” He caressed her hair. “Time to go now. Hurry!!”

They ran and arrived just in time. They said goodbye and Seifer went to his workshop.

 

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Seifer received an expected visit.

“Hi Vivi.” Said the Mayor.

“Hi Sir. What can I do for you?” He asked.

“Oh…nothing in particular…I’ve just come to see you…do I bother you?” He seemed to be hesitant.

 “Not at all.”

“Huh…to be honest with you, son, I came to ask you something…” He finally admitted.

“Yeah?”

“Could you…make a bow for my son please? His birthday is in three months and I thought it could be a good gift. What do you think about it?” he asked.

“Of course, Sir. I’ll do it. I think it’s good. He wanted a weapon but he’s still young. A bow will be good and safe for him.”

“Yes. That’s what I thought.” He added.

“I’ve some items here to do it but I’m gonna chase some monsters so I can have some snake skin or fur…”

“I don’t want to disturb you…”

“it’s ok. Don’t worry. I’ll do it and I’ll show you before his birthday, right?”

“Perfect! Thank you. You save me!”

“You’re welcome.”

 

They heard someone running fast inside. They turned and saw Lulu.

“Lulu? What’s wrong?” Asked Seifer worried.

“Mody…I think she’s sick, Vivi. She sleeps but when I’ve tried to wake her up, she didn’t respond…and her skin is so cold…” She tried to talk calmly and breathe slowly but she was too stressed for that.

 Seifer looked the Mayor in the eyes. They were thinking the same way.

“Let’s go!” Said Seifer.

“I come with you.” Added the Mayor.

They ran with Lulu to the Lain’s house. When they arrived, Seifer went immediately to Mody’s room. The old lady was lying down on her bed. She looked peaceful. When Seifer touched her skin, he realized how cold she was. He raised his head above her mouth but he felt nothing, no breath. He put his hand on her heart, no heart beat. He checked her neck and her wrist, but no pulse…she had gone. Seifer looked the Mayor to confirm him what they thought. Lulu approached and grabbed his hand.

“Vivi? Is Mody okay?” She asked with her big blue eyes.

Seifer looked at her sadly. He put himself in her height and took her little face in his hands.

“Lulu…you have to be strong…Mody’s…gone…” His eyes were full of tears but he restrained himself.

“I…don’t understand…she’s just asleep…” She tried to say.

“Lulu…she won’t wake up…she’s…gone into heaven now…” Seifer tried to explain the best way he could do to protect her.

“No…she…no…Vivi! Do something! You can cure her! Please! Please!” Yelled the little girl who was crying.

“Sweetie…I wish I could do this but…I can’t…it’s too late now…I can’t. Magic is useless now…I’m so sorry Lulu…” He looked at her sadly but the little girl struggled and jumped on the bed.

“NO! MODY! WAKE UP! PLEASE! WAKE UP!” She used magic spells but it didn’t work.

“Lulu! Stop it! You can’t do anything!” Seifer took the little girl by her waist but she struggled again and didn’t listening.

“NO! WAKE UP MODY! YOU CAN’T DIE! YOU CAN’T! WAKE UP! PLEASE!” She yelled.

Seifer grabbed her and wrapped her body with his strong arms.

“Lulu…please…let her go.” He said softly. “Let her go now…it was her time to leave. Let her rest in peace, sweetie…”

Lulu cried and hugged Seifer tightly. He cried too. He couldn’t support to see her suffering like that…and he missed Mody too already. He couldn’t hold his tears anymore…he was so sad…if only he could stop her pain, he would have done anything…anything to never see her cry again…

The Mayor went outside to let them alone. Seifer held Lulu in his arms for the rest of the day. She couldn’t stop crying. He felt so bad, so powerless…

 

* * *

Two days later, all the village was reunited in the cemetery to enterer the old lady. Everyone was sad and quiet. Seifer held Lulu by the hand. She was still crying but she tried to look strong. The Mayor started to speak:

“We’re all here to say a last goodbye to our precious friend, Miss Alie Lain. We won’t forget her kindness, her big-heartedness, her smile…she had hard times in her life, after had lost her son and her husband…but she had two special persons by her side who had cherished her until the end…we will miss her.”

When the ceremony ended, everybody went to say goodbye to Lulu and Seifer. Everyone deposed a white flower on her grave and left when the Mayor came to them.

“Vivi…I’m sorry but can I have word with you? It won’t be long.” He asked.

Seifer looked at Lulu and kissed her on the cheek. “Just a minute, angel, I come back.”

 He followed the Mayor. “ if it’s about Lulu, I want to adopt her, Sir.” He said before the Mayor could say anything.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yes. I don’t want to be separated from her. I want to be here, by her side. I know better than anybody what she can feel right now, I was an orphan too. I want to give her a family again. Please.” He explained.

The Mayor smiled sadly. “I was about to ask you to do it. Miss lain wanted you to become her guardian, it was mentioned in her will, so it’s a good thing you propose yourself. I’m gonna prepare everything. Come to my office when you’ll have the time.” He answered, taping on Seifer’s shoulder.

“Thank you, sir.”

Seifer turned his back and went to Lulu’s side. She was looking at her grandma’s grave sadly. Seifer touched her shoulder with his large hand. Lulu looked at him and grabbed him by his waist. He took her in his arms and whispered to her ear:”I’m here Lulu. I’ll never let you…”

“Vivi…” She said softly. “Maybe…if I went early…I could…have saved her…”

He felt her tears pouring along his neck. “You wouldn’t have done anything else, sweetie. It was her time to go. Magic can’t work for this…she’s with your grandpa and your father now. She’ll still live in your heart…but I know how much it hurts…”

“You won’t leave me too, don’t you?” She asked with tears on her voice.

Seifer grabbed her little face with one of his hand and forced her to look at him. “No Lulu. I promise to stay by you side forever. I won’t leave you…I love you, sweetie.”

She smiled sadly. “I love you Vivi…” She held him tightly.

“Remember what Mody told you: ”you just need to remember good things or you would be sad for the rest of your life…” The pain hurts but the time will erase it…” Explained Seifer.

“Yes…”

Seifer kissed her forehead and wrapped her in his arms.

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Time to cherish

Two weeks later.

Seifer woke up in the red couch. Lulu was sleeping with him, still in his arms. Her cheeks were red and wet. She cried all the night yesterday, and he comforted her until she fell asleep. He looked at her sadly. She was in pain and he couldn’t do anything except staying by her side. She was so fragile…

The house was a bit empty without Mody’s presence. They missed her so much. He didn’t want to sleep in her bed even if the room was empty. It was her bedroom and it would stay like this forever. He just entered sometimes to clean it up but nothing more.

Lulu struggled and opened her eyes slowly.

“Hi honey.” He said kissing her forehead.

“Hi Vivi…” her voice was low and shy.

“It’s still early. You don’t have school today. You can go back to sleep…”

She got close to him. He held her in his arms and stayed quiet, when he heard her little voice whispering something against his chest.

“Happy birthday Vivi…”

Seifer smiled. “Thank you sweetheart.” He kissed her hair.

“Can…we stay in bed please? I’m cold…” She said without looking at him.

“Sure, as long as you want. “

“Thanks.”

They stayed like this, without talking. Seifer was touched she reminded his birthday even if it wasn’t a time to celebrate. They fell asleep together in each other arms. When Seifer woke up again, Lulu wasn’t with him. He started to worry and looked around him. He stood up quickly and called her: “Lulu? Lulu? Where are you?”

He heard noises from the kitchen. The little girl was trying to cook.

“Lulu? What’re you doing?” He asked.

“Vivi? Ah…sorry, I’ve made a cake so…” she started to explain.

“You should have told me! You could have cut yourself or something…” He said.

“Sorry…I wanted to make a surprise for your birthday…” She looked down.

Seifer sighted. “I’m sorry sweetie…I shouldn’t have said that. I was just worried when I didn’t see you in the bed. It’s so nice of you…thank you…”

“I used to do it with Mody so I know how to do but we need to bake it…” She answered.

“Okay..let’s do it.” He took the cake and placed it in the oven. “Did you have your breakfast?”

“No, I was waiting for you…”

“Thank you. Take a chair, I’m gonna clean the stuff and make your cereals.”

“I’ll help you...it’s your birthday.”

He smiled. He caressed her hair gently. “You don’t have to. Don’t worry, You already did the cake anyway…”

“I hope it will be good…” She added.

“Of course, it will.” Replied Seifer, holding her a bowl of cereals and a glass of orange juice. He took two cups and two plates. Lulu was surprised.

“Why do you still take two cups?” She asked.

“One for me, one for Mody.” He answered.

“But…Mody’s gone.” She said sadly.

Seifer filled one cup with coffee and prepared toast.

“She’s gone physically but her mind is still with us...” He explained.  

“Yeah…you’re right. I like to see her favorite cup on the table…it’s as if she was still with us…” She agreed.

“I know Lulu. I feel the same…”

They laughed thinking about her, they reminded each other good times with Mody. Time would erase the pain, but not memories.

“The cake’s ready.” Said Lulu.

“Let it cool. Why don’t we go for a walk? ” proposed Seifer.

“Yes! Let’s go!” Said Lulu. She seemed to be in a better mood.

They walked together. It was cold. There was nobody in the streets. They passed the chocobos farm and continued their road outside the village. They were in the land. It was quiet and peaceful.

“You wanna go to the beach?” Asked Seifer.

Lulu nodded. He felt she was a bit tired so he carried her on his back. The little girl wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Do you think Mody misses us?” Asked the child.

“Of course…but nobody’s eternal. She was old but I know it’s always too soon to leave…” He replied.

She didn’t say a word. She was thinking.

“You know…you gave her so much happiness and joy in her life. She’s not alone where she’s now…Popy is with her, your dad too…and they’ll live in your heart forever…” He tried to comfort her so hard. He thought he wasn’t really good at this but he kept trying.

She gripped tight against him. “You know…I’m not sad anymore…I still miss her but…I’m fine now.”

Seifert thought: “ _You had cried so much…you don’t have any tears to shed anymore…_ ”

They arrived to the beach and sat on the sand. Lulu was between his legs and grabbed his hands around her.

“Vivi?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy birthday.”

He smiled. “Thank you sweetie.”

She sought something in her pocket and held him a little package.

“What is it?”

“Your gift…I’m sorry. I wanted something better but…” She started to justify.

“I know…I didn’t expect something from you, you know?” He replied

“Oh? But why? You thought that I forgot?”

“No. it’s just you already gave me everything, so I didn’t expect anything else.”

“But…I never gave you anything.”

“Yes you did.”

“What is it?”

He sighted.

“Happiness, love, support…” He replied.

“Vivi?”

He caressed her cheek with his hand. “I closed my heart for so long, but you reopened it…I was so lonely. I wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t met you. I couldn’t live without you…” He said smiling at her. “Thank you.”

She blushed. He started to unwrap the little package.

“Whatever it is, I’ll love it.” He saw a leather brown strap.

“I made it myself. You like it?” She asked.

“It’s…beautiful. Thank you Lulu. I love it!” Replied Seifer happily. He attached it around his wrist.

“You really like it? Don’t lie to me just to please me…” She said firmly.

Seifer laughed. “I can’t lie to you, honey. I promise I love it. I’ll never remove it.”

She felt relieved.

“There’s another thing I would like for my birthday…” Asked Seifer.

“Yes?”

“A smile from you, and it will be perfect.” He demanded.

She smiled at him and kissed him on his cheek. “Happy birthday Vivi.”

“Thank you Lulu. It’s definitely the best birthday I’ve ever had in my whole life.”

 

* * *

One month later.

When Lulu woke up, Seifer was already up. He made her breakfast and joined her to the couch. She always slept with him when she had a nightmare. She needed to feel Seifer’s presence by her side. He looked at her tenderly and whispered to her hear.

“Time to wake up sweetheart.”

“Morning…” muttered Lulu in her sleep.

“Happy birthday darling.” He said softly.

“Thank you…”

“Come on. Wake up. You’ve school today!” He took off the blanket to force her to move.

“Nnnnh…I wanna sleep…gimmie the blanket…” she said with an annoyed voice.

“No. You’re gonna be late. You slept enough. Come ‘on!”

“It’s supposed to be my birthday…” She replied.

“I know. But you’ve got school.”

“Mmmm…Fine! Fine!” She said angrily. Seifer laughed at her.

He helped her washing herself and prepared her clothes. When they went to the kitchen, the breakfast was ready, but it was different from the other days.

“What is it Vivi?” Asked Lulu.

“It’s a special day so I made you a special breakfast. Do you already taste it? It’s called “chocolate croissant”. I used to eat some when I was a child. It’s good, you’ll see.”

The little girl tasted it and looked at Seifer with big eyes: “ Yummy!!!” She said with chocolate around her mouth.

Seifer laughed. “You like it?”

“I love it. Where did you buy it?” she asked still eating.

“I made it.” He replied.

“Really??? It’s delicious! You’ll do it again, please??”

“Of course. I’ll show you how to do it.”

She smiled. She seemed to be so happy. But it was just the beginning: Seifer planned other surprises for her. They finished their breakfast and left the house.

 

Later in the morning, Lulu was sitting behind her desk in school and looked outside. When she opened her book, she saw a little paper with few words written:” _Stay focused on your lesson and stop staring at the window. Happy birthday. I love you honey. Vivi._ ” She smiled and laughed.

“Lulu? What’s it ?” Asked her teacher.

“Oh…nothing ma’m. I’m sorry.” She replied, blushing. She was smiling again. She couldn’t stop thinking about Vivi. He was so nice with her. 

 

When the lunch came, all the children went to the cafeteria. Usually, Vivi made lunch for Lulu but he told her he didn’t have time to do it. She had just gotten a little sandwich. When she entered in cafeteria, all the children were in front of her with their teacher. They were smiling and yelled: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY LULU!!!!” They moved and Lulu saw full of different dishes, and a big cake with strawberries.

“Vivi made the cake and we prepared the dishes. “ Said her teacher. “And we have a gift for you.”

“Really??” Asked Lulu with joy.

It was a great party. All the children had enjoyed it, especially Lulu who was the queen of the day. She had received a bicycle. She was really happy. The dishes were delicious and the cake yummy. She knew Vivi would never have forgotten her lunch and he did it on purpose to make her a surprise. She wondered when he did it because she was always with him and she didn’t notice anything. 

 

In the afternoon, when class was over, Lulu hurried up and ran to see Vivi but he was waiting for her in front of the school.

“Vivi!” She yelled.

“Hi! How was the class today?” He asked her, taking her in his arms.

“Great!! I had a big party at lunch. I even received a bicycle!” She said happily.

“I know. I brought it to the house this afternoon after the lunch.” He replied.

“Thank you for the cake. It was delicious!!!” She added.

“Great. Let’s go now.”

 They arrived at home. Seifer went into the kitchen. “You wanna drink something Lulu?” He asked.

“No thanks.” She replied. Lulu followed him in the kitchen. She saw flowers in a vase on the table.

“I know you like tulips…”

“Vivi…it’s beautiful!!” She said happily.

 “It’s not your gift, you know?” He said.

“Really? But the bicycle…”

“It was from your friends. Look at behind the vase.”

She approached and saw a little package.

“Open it.”

When she finished undoing the package, she realized that it was a jewel.

“It’s an amethyst. I cut it to make a gem. You like it?”

“I…love it.”

“Really? I’m relieved. I worked on this for the last three months. I was afraid you didn’t like it…” He said sighting.

“Thank you…you worked so hard just for me…” She answered, admiring her gem.

“I’ve something else for you.” He opened the window and grabbed something. Lulu was too short to see what it was. When he turned his back, she could see a cage with a bird inside.

“It’s…a bird?” She asked.

“Yes…but it’s a special one.” He explained.

“Huh?”

“I made it. It’s a robot but it’s alive…” He opened the cage and the bird flew in the air before landing on Lulu’s shoulder. The bird was white with green eyes, large wings and a golden peak. The bird looked at her.

“Waouh…it is real?” She asked. She touched the creature. The bird winked eyes and responded to the touch. “Vivi…it’s true…he’s alive…” She was amazed.

“I wanted to give you something special… He’ll live forever.”

The bird flew again and returned to Lulu’s side. She touched him and smiled.

“Tweet..tweet…” the bird made sound.

“Oh…he‘s singing!!” Said Lulu with joy.

“Yes. He’s like a real bird, you know? “

“How…did you manage to give him birth? It’s incredible…I love him!!!”

“I’ve bought some special items to make it. I’ve received all that I needed in the mail and I made it…It is pretty nice, don’t you think?”

Her face was shining. “I love him! He’s so cute Vivi! I love him so much!!! What’s his name?” She asked caressing the bird.

“Pick a name.”

“Really?”

“It’s yours.”

She thought few minutes and said: “Chickie!”

“Huh?”

“You don’t like it?” She asked.

“Oh no…it’s just surprising…” He laughed. “You remember the boy I called “chicken wuss”? I used to call him “Chickie” sometimes…he hated it.”

“Oh…you want I find something else?” She demanded.

“No, it’s good.” He said with a big smile.

“Yes! Chickie!” She yelled cheerfully.

 

Two days later, Lulu, Seifer and Chickie went to a walk. Lulu was running after the bird. He was obedient and always returned on her shoulders. They arrived at the cemetery. Seifer carried flowers and deposed roses on Mody’s grave.

“Happy birthday Mody.” He said.

Lulu and Chickie were behind him. She approached and touched the grave. “Hi Mody.” She took a long breath and fixed the grave. “ I miss you. I miss Popy too. But you don’t need to worry about me, I’m not alone. Vivi and Chickie are with me. I think about you two all the time, but I’m not sad because I know one day we’ll be together again.”

She had a melancholic look, but she didn’t seem to be sad.

“Vivi’s my father now, so it’s okay. He promised to stay with me forever, so don’t worry. Happy birthday Mody. I love you, I love you Popy.” She fixed Seifer with a big smile, holding her hand. He grabbed it and walked away together.

It was true that time erased pain…


	10. Time to face again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is the chapter ten. No sex neither in this chapter...sorry, but some important changes for Seifer and Lulu. Seifer becomes more sensitive and kind but you will understand why later.  
> Give me your opinion please, even if you don't like it. I like to imagine storyline but i don't think i'm a good at writing so please tell me. I already wrote twenty chapters and i wanna write others.  
> Bye!

 

Squall visited his father. He went to Esthar with Selphie, Zell and Irvine. Linoa was still in her father’s house in Deling City. When they arrived in the presidential palace, they were welcomed by Kiros and Ward.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hi guys!” Said Kiros.

“Hello Kiros. Hi Ward.” Replied Selphie.

Ward made a sign with his large hand, without saying a word as always.

“Where’s Laguna?” Asked Squall.

“In his office. He argues again with Geyser.” He replied.

“I see…” he sighted.

Quistis arrived and joined them.

“Hi guys!” She said.

“Hi Quistis! How are you? What about the wedding?” Asked Selphie.

“I’m fine. But the reporters call me every day to ask me about the wedding date. I’m gonna become crazy…and Laguna doesn’t help me a lot for this…” She complained.

“Poor Quistis…you need some sleep…” suggested Zell.

“I can’t. I’ve so many things to do…but what about you? What are you doing here?” She asked.

“We came to see Laguna.” replied Squall.

“Let’s go to see him. Geyser is still with him?” Asked Quistis to Ward. He nodded.

They knocked to his door when they heard shouts.

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING RESEARCHES! GET OUT!” Yelled Laguna angrily. Geyser left without looking at Squall and the others.

“Fucking crazy doctor…damn! I hate him!” Muttered Laguna alone. He turned his back when he saw his son and the others, standing in front of him and laughing at him. “Sorry guys! I didn’t see you! Welcome!” He grabbed Squall by his waist and squeezed him tightly against him. Squall blushed.

“Hi Dad…”

“I’m so happy! I’m gonna be a grandfather!!! I still can’t believe it!” He said with joy.

“Yes…”

Quistis approached. “What happened with Geyser?”

“Oh…it’s okay, honey, don’t worry. He tried to convince me to do some researches with Edea and soldiers who were under Ultimecia’s control. We found some of them but they quitted the army…” He explained kissing her tenderly.

“What’s the problem?” Asked Selphie.

“He said he just wanted to check if there’s no sorceress’s power in their mind, to prevent her return but I know he’s lying…I just can’t trust him.” He said angrily.

“But…it’s not a bad idea.” Suggested Squall. “I mean…we should think about it…”

“Maybe but I want to be sure…Edea suffered enough. But what about you?” asked Laguna.

“Huh…I came to ask you something.” Answered Squall.

“Yeah?”

“Do you have information about the ex-sorceress’s knight?” he demanded.

“Seifer? Well…I don’t think so…I heard he was in Deling City but it was one year ago.” He replied.

“Okay. So, nobody saw him here lately?” Asked Squall.

“No. He’s still wanted here.” Confirmed Kiros

“Why do you seek him?” Laguna seemed to be perplexed.

“I just want him to be judged. That’s all.” Said Squall coldly.

“I see. But you could ask me that on the phone. Why did you come here?” He asked again.

“I need the Ragnarok. We came by the train because it’s not an official mission. I need a fast way to move out.” He explained.

“So…it’s personal? You want to take revenge…Squall, it’s not a good idea…” Started Laguna but he got cut.

“I don’t ask your opinion. Can I take the ship or not?” He said annoyed.

Laguna scratched his head with embarrassment. “Okay but I come with you.”

Squall was surprised by the request. “Are you not supposed to run this City?”

“Are you not supposed to take care of your wife and be a seed instead of searching your old rival around the world?” Replied sarcastically Laguna.

Squall got more annoyed and fixed him. “FINE!” He said finally.

Laguna smiled with triumph. “Kiros and Quistis can take my place, just for a while. Okay guys?”

Quistis sighted. “I’m not your wife yet and I already do your job…”

“Sorry Darling…I promise it won’t be long…” He replied.

“What about me?” Asked Kiros annoyed.

“Sorry Honey…I promise…”

“Okay, okay…I got it! Get out now before I kick your ass…” replied Kiros.

Laguna and the others laughed, except Squall who was still bothered by his father’s presence.

“Let’s go.”

 

* * *

Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Laguna, Ward and Squall were in the air with the Ragnarok.

“So, where are we going?” asked Irvine to Squall.

“I don’t know. Maybe Deling City…it was the last place where he had been seen…” suggested Squall.

Laguna approached. “Why don’t we go to Winhill?” he proposed.

“What for?” asked Squall.

“It’s on our road…please. It's been a long time since I returned to this place…and I want to depose flowers on your mother’s grave.” He asked.

Squall couldn’t say no even if he didn’t want to waste his time. He had never gone to see his mother, it was a good timing. “Okay. Let’s go to Winhill.”

 

When they arrived, the place was quiet and peaceful. “Nothing has changed. It’s still so lovely.” Said Laguna with melancholy. “Let’s go to see the Mayor. We need to announce ourselves.”

They entered in the city hall. The Mayor saw Laguna and went to welcome him.

“Mister President. What an honor! Come in.” He said friendly. He proposed them to enter in his office. “Will you sit down? I didn’t expect your visit.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry. It’s not an official visit. Just a personal one. Happy to see you again my friend.” He replied smiling.

The others looked at them without saying a word. They were listening quietly.

“Thank you Mister President.”

“No…call me Laguna. I’m still the same, you know? Like this village…” He said.

“Yes…nothing really changed since the last time you came…except a new resident.” He replied.

“Ah? Somebody stayed here? For real?” He asked in shock.

“Yes. It’s incredible. Nobody stayed here more than few days usually, but he’s still here. Plus he’s a young man. You can believe it?” he answered.

“Oh…tell me about him.” He asked.

“He came about one year ago. He saved a little girl who got lost outside of the village. We were looking for her and he got her back to home, and he never left.” He started to explain. The others seemed to be surprised and wanted to know more about him.

“He was looking for a job, and was homeless. Miss Lain accepted he stayed in her place to thank him to have saved her little girl. He started to work here and he has got his own workshop now. He’s a kind of handyman. He helps us a lot here, you know?”

“Really?” Asked Laguna.

“Yeah…he cures people with magic spells when they get injuries, and he protects us from the monster attacks. He even gives training to the children. He’s really strong. To be honest, I was a bit frightened about him at the beginning because he always had his sword with him, but he explained he was a soldier before so…”

The Mayor noticed Squall’s gunblade. ”Oh…he has got practically the same sword as you, son.” He pointed Squall’s weapon. Everybody blinked in shock. Nobody except Squall and Seifer used a gunblade. It couldn’t be him…     

“Are…you sure? What’s his name?” Asked Squall quickly.

“Vivi. To be honest with you, I don’t think it’s his real name. He never talks about him. I just know he comes from Balamb and he was in Deling City before coming to Winhill. He had been fired from his previous job…” He answered.

Squall looked at his father with stress. He didn’t know what to say.

“You know…he’s a good man. He adopted the little Lulu after her grandmother died about few months ago. He takes care of her. He’s a bit overprotective with her, but she loves him so much…They are so cute together…Fortunately he was here to support her…she was so sad. I was with them when we found her grandmother dead in her bed…Lulu was crying and yelling in pain but Vivi helped her. He told me he understood what she felt because he was an orphan too…and he wanted to give her a family. He’s really a kind man…everybody loves him here.” He continued to explain.

Zell, Selphie and Irvine looked at Squall and Laguna. An orphan from Balamb, an ex-soldier who left Deling City after had been fired from his last job, who used a gunblade…it couldn’t be another person that Seifer Almasy…but a kind man? A father? It was impossible…Seifer wasn’t this kind of man. He was pretentious, arrogant, childish, nasty…he was a bully, a bastard…how could it be Seifer?

Squall looked at the Mayor. “Where is he?”

The Mayor was surprised and afraid. “What’s wrong?”

“We would like to meet him.” Replied Laguna, who stood up.

“He’s in his workshop. On the left, at the end of the main street…” he replied

“Thank you. We’re leaving now. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Added Laguna.

“You’re welcome.”

 

They left the city hall in silence and walked into the workshop.

“Do you think it’s him?” Asked Zell who seemed to be nervous suddenly.

“I don’t know. We’ll see.” Replied Squall coldly. He couldn’t wait anymore.

They arrived in front of the workshop. One child left outside. “Thank you Vivi. Bye!”

“Bye cutie! Be careful on the road.” Replied a familiar voice. It was Seifer’s voice for sure…but he wouldn’t be so kind to anybody in his whole life, it was just impossible…

Squall and the others entered inside. He had his back to them. “Sorry, I’m gonna leave now. If it’s not for an injury or an emergency, you… “  he stopped to talk suddenly when he turned his back and saw Squall, Laguna, Ward, Selphie, Irvine and Zell. He was in shock…frightened…as if I had seen a ghost. He didn’t move, but he was shaking. He had a little bird on his shoulder. The creature flew and went outside, the door was still open.

“So…”Vivi” I presume?" Asked Squall sarcastically. He found him. He finally found him in the middle of nowhere, with another name, another life…he wore a green shirt and black pants. Hyperion was on his desk. He had the same face, but his look was different. He had changed, for sure…

“What…are you doing here?” He asked nervously.

“You’re still wanted.” Replied Squall impersonally.

“I didn’t do anything wrong…look, I have a new life here. I’m not a threat…”He started to justify.

“I don’t care. You have to pay for what you’ve done.” Said Squall.

“I disturb nobody here. I never left this place since I came here…”

“Nobody knows who you are. You’re a criminal, the ex-sorceress’s knight…”

“Don’t you think I already know it Puberty-boy?” He replied angrily.

“Huh! You’re still the same bastard. Do you really think you deserve a second chance? After all what you’ve done?” Asked Squall with a bitter voice.

“You don’t know anything…”

“I know everything. Should I remember you what you did to us? When you tortured me? When you gave Linoa to Adel? When you destroyed Trabia Garden? When…”

“SHUT UP!” Yelled Seifer in anger.

“Squall! That’s enough.” Said Laguna.

“I see…it’s hard to hear the truth…don’t you Almasy?” He added with a smirk.

They were interrupted when they heard someone behind them. “Vivi?”

Seifer blinked.

“Lulu? Hi sweetie…How was school?” Seifer was stressed. He didn’t know what to do.

“Are they your friends, Vivi?” asked the little girl. The bird was on her shoulder. She got close to Seifer and looked at the group with a surprised look.

Seifer took her in his arms to kiss her. “Sorry sweetie…but could you go home alone please?” He asked anxiously.

“What’s going on?” She demanded with a worried look.

Seifer put her on the ground and caressed her hair. “It’s okay…go home…”

She looked at the group and fixed Squall angrily in the eyes. “It’s him…” she whispered.

“What?” Asked Seifer to her.

“The one with the scar on his face…he’s the man who hurt you?” Asked Lulu staring at Squall.

“Lulu…please..leave..” insisted Seifer.

“I hate you! You hurt Vivi! I would never let you hurt him anymore!” She yelled with anger.

“Lulu! Stop it!” shouted Seifer.

“You’re bad! I can feel it. You’re bad. Stay away from him!” she continued to say fixing Squall.

Squall approached. “He’s not Vivi. I don’t know what he told you but he’s not a good person.”

“Liar! Vivi’s good. He takes care of me. I love him. You won’t hurt him again. Stay away or you’re gonna regret it!” She faced him without fear.

“Lulu! I told you to stop it, right now!” Said Seifer.

“Vivi?” She looked at him.

“Please sweetie…it’s too hard to explain now. Thank you…but please don’t …please, just go home with Chickie…please…” Begged Seifer with sadness.

Zell blinked, but he realized Chickie was probably the little bird on her shoulder.

“Vivi’s…sad…” She said concerned.

Seifer was about to cry but he restrained himself. Everybody was in shock. Seifer never had been so weak…he was so arrogant…what happened to him?

The little girl fixed Squall again. “This is your fault! I hate you!” She yelled at him.

“Move away, child. I don’t want to hurt you but he’s gonna come with us.” He replied.

“You won’t take him away from me. NEVER!” She used a magic fire spell on Squall to force him to move back. She didn’t want to injure him, but just protect Vivi.

“LULU! NO!” Shouted Seifer.

Ward grabbed Seifer by his arms to restrain him. Lulu didn’t see them, she was focused on Squall.

“Hey cutie…easy…easy now…” Said Selphie to Lulu trying to calm her.

“Squall…stop it. We can talk calmly. She’s just a child…” Added Zell.

“Lulu!” called Seifer. But the little girl still faced Squall.

“GET LOST!” She yelled, using another magic spell.

“LULU! STOP IT!” Shouted Seifer who struggled in Ward’s grip.

“Enough!” replied Squall annoyed. The little bird attacked him, in the same time as Lulu. He defended himself, punching the bird and pushed away the child. She fell into the ground and the bird crashed into the wall, broken in pieces. Seifer released himself punching hard Ward with his head and yelled angrily.

“DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER! BASTARD!!!!” He punched Squall in his face so hard that he fell. He went to Lulu. “Sweetie!! Are you hurt? Talk to me! Lulu! You’re okay? Show me your face…” he was so worried.

Selphie went to Squall to cure him. Laguna stopped Ward who was running into Seifer’s direction. Zell went to help the little girl and Seifer.

“Chickie…CHICKIE!!!” Cried the little girl.

“Oh God…don’t worry sweetie. I’ll repair him…don’t worry..he’s gonna be okay…” Seifer tried to comfort her but she was crying.

“Chickie…he killed Chickie!!! Vivi…” she was so sad.

“I’m so sorry, honey…forgive me…I promise, he’s gonna be okay…don’t worry…don’t cry. Don’t cry sweetie, it’s okay…” Seifer took her in his arms and squeezed her tightly against him.

Irvine helped Selphie to cure Squall and looked at the little girl in Seifer’s arms. Zell was near of them. He was in shock. It couldn’t be the same Seifer…he was so kind…he felt sad for the child and for her bird, even if it was a robot, she seemed to love it…

“Vivi…I don’t want you to leave…you promised me…you promised me to stay with me…” She said sorrowfully.

Seifer started to cry. “Forgive me sweetie…it wasn’t supposed to happen…I’m so sorry...I’m sorry…”

“Vivi? You’re..crying…” She told him.

He held her tightly. “Forgive me…Lulu…I love you so much…forgive me…” He couldn’t stop crying…

“Seifer…” whispered Zell.

Seifer released Lulu and looked at Squall who was facing him. Selphie and Irvine fixed Seifer with a sad look. He was on his knees.

“Leonhart…I know what I’ve done…I know what I’m…but even if it won’t change anything, I’m sorry…I regret…” He started to explain. Everyone was listening to him. Lulu was still in his arms, she was staring at him, worried.

“I don’t ask you to forgive me…I don’t deserve it…I know…but I’m begging you…Squall…I’m begging you…don’t take me away from her…she’s…all I have…my everything…I’m begging you…I’m her family…she’ll be alone, she already suffered so much…please…let me stay by her side…just do it for her…please…please…” He kept begging, crying and crying again.

Selphie and Irvine looked at themselves in shock. Seifer Almasy? Begging Squall?

“Squall…I’m asking you on knees…I would have never begged anyone in my whole life…but I would do anything for her…please…she needs me…” begged again Seifer with more tears.

Zell started to cry too. He couldn’t contain himself anymore. Why they were here? Why Squall? Seifer was in pain…why they couldn’t stop and leave this place?

“Squall…let him go…” Said Zell with a low voice. “ He has a daughter and he’s not the same we used to know…you can’t. Just let him go please…”

Squall blinked. “Zell? What’s wrong with you? Did you already forget who is he? You talked about Seifer Almasy!”

“I know…but the only thing I see right now is a father in pain who’s begging you, a child who’s crying  and suffering, so please…stop it. Seifer would have never begged you if he wasn’t sincere…and desperate.” Zell said.

“He ‘s right Squall…” added Laguna.

“Are you become crazy? Just because of her daughter, we’re supposed to forget and forgive everything??” Yelled Squall.

“Squall please…” Tried to explain Irvine.

“Enough! Both of you! We came to arrest him and he comes with us! Don’t force me to use the strength Seifer!” Said Squall firmly.

Seifer closed his eyes and looked down, defeated.

“Vivi…” Said Lulu worried.

“She was right…you’re bad Squall. I would never have imagined I could say that…but you’re bad.” Told Zell to Squall with an angry look.

 “Whatever.” Replied Squall coldly. “Ward. Grab him. We’re leaving.” Ordered Squall.

Ward grabbed Seifer by his arm and forced him to stand up. He was weak and didn’t struggle.

“Squall…listen…” said Selphie but she was cut.

“I said enough! Let’s go now.” He replied.

Laguna and Irvine followed him, looking down ashamed. Lulu grabbed Seifer’s waist.

“NO! Please! Mister! Don’t take him away! Please Mister Big! Please…” she begged Ward. He looked at her sadly but he pushed her away gently.

“It’s okay sweetie…I’ll see you later.” told Seifer to her with tears.

“Vivi…no..don’t leave…please…” She was crying. She didn’t want to let him go.

Seifer looked at Zell, smiling. “Thank you Zell. I’m sorry for everything…but could you please take care of her? Please?” He asked.

“I will. Don’t worry.”  Zell replied without hesitation.

“Thank you.” Seifer looked at Ward. The big man released him a moment. Seifer took Lulu in his arms. “ Sweetie, I have to go…but Zell’s gonna take care of you until I come back. Be nice with him, okay?”

She was still crying. “ I want to stay with you…let me come with you…please…”

“Honey…I’m so sorry, you can’t come with me…forgive me. I love you…never forget that. Be nice with Zell. I will see you later…” Seifer kissed her on her cheek and on her forehead, drying her tears. “Selphie…could you please collect all the pieces? I want to fix it again.” Seifer was pointing the little bird broken.

“Sure.” She replied.

“Thanks.”

“Vivi…don’t go…” She whispered. Zell took her hand.

Seifer left with Ward. People were waiting outside of the workshop and asked what was going on. Selphie looked at Zell. “I’m gonna explain the situation to the mayor and people outside.”

Zell took the little girl in his arms and carried her. “You’re gonna see him again soon…be strong Lulu.”

She was still crying and shaking. “I want Vivi comes back…”

“I know…me too…I’m sorry Lulu. I’ll be there for you, okay?” he replied.

“I want Vivi…” she said with tears.

“He’ll come back. He loves too much to leave you behind…he’ll come back.” He tried to reassure the little girl but he didn’t even believe in his own words. He knew what would happen to Seifer.

“I’ll bring him you back…don’t worry.”


	11. Time to suffer

The airship came back in Esthar. Seifer was locked in a cell in the presidential Palace. Selphie and Zell didn’t come back with the others; they took the train to return to Balamb.

Zell was sitting in the train with Lulu by his side. She was looking at the window. She was still crying silently. Selphie was in front of them. They had tried so hard to comfort the little girl but she kept saying the same thing… _Vivi_ …again and again.

Zell caressed her hair. “Be strong Lulu…he’ll come back.”

Selphie smiled sadly. “Why are we returning to Balamb?” she asked to Zell.

“Lulu’s so sad. Maybe my mother would comfort her better than us…She needs affection right now…” He said looking at her.

“I need Vivi…” replied Lulu even if she knew Zell didn’t talk to her.

They sighted. They couldn’t do anything to help her, just be with her, but she only wanted her Vivi.

“Try to sleep a little bit Lulu. It’s a long way.” told Zell.

“I…can sleep only if Vivi is with me…he comforts me when I make nightmares…” She replied still crying.

“But we’re here cutie…don’t worry…” tried to reassure Selphie.

“You’re not Vivi…” she answered. “I know…you two are good…but you’re not Vivi…”

Selphie and Zell were sharing a look and stayed quiet. There was nothing else to add. The child was maybe young but she understood very well the situation. She was worried and afraid. It was hard to see her suffering like this…even if Seifer used to be a bastard, he was kind and so gentle with the little girl. Lulu took her jewel in her hand and held it tightly.

“It’s a beautiful gem, Lulu.” said Selphie hoping that the child would think about something else.

She looked at the gem and said with tears: “It’s Vivi’s present for my birthday…he made it for me, and he made Chickie.”

Selphie sighted disappointed. Everything in her life was related to Seifer.

Zell was staring at the child. “Chickie? The bird?” he asked.

“Yes…Vivi told me that he wanted to give me something special. But I know he made it because he hated to see me cry. He thought a real bird would die one day and it would make me sad…he made it for me…I loved Chickie…he was still coming to seek me after the school and always returned on my shoulder…I miss him…and I miss Vivi even more…” She said crying again. She hid her little face in her hands. Zell took her in his arms looking at Selphie sadly. The young woman held back her tears but Zell saw in her face how hard it was.

“I’m so sorry Lulu…He’ll save Chickie and he’ll come back. Be strong.” he repeated.

The little girl held Zell tightly and cried on his chest. He kissed her hair kindly and comforted her in the best way he could. Selphie was crying too.

 

* * *

Seifer was in his cell. He had just a spartan bed, a water closet and a washbasin. The cell was large, dark and cold. There was no window, not bars…just a big door and cold walls. He couldn’t see anything from the outside or on the alley. There was just a little light in the ceiling but it didn’t work very well. But Seifer didn’t really care. He just thought about Lulu. He was so worried about her. He suffered so much…it was his fault if she cried. He didn’t want to. Maybe he should had run with her instead of following them to Esthar…but he knew it wouldn’t have been a good thing for her. Seifer Almasy was a fugitive…but Lulu Lain was just a little and innocent child. He couldn’t run away all the time…she would had suffered even if she never did anything wrong…He missed her so much…her little voice, her touch, her wonderful smile…he would have given anything to make her happy again.

The door opened. Seifer looked at and saw soldiers.

“Well, well…this is our sorceress’s knight…” Said one of them.

They approached to Seifer, closing the door behind them. They were six and were armed.

“What do you want?” asked Seifer with a cold voice.

“SHUT UP TRAITOR!” yelled a soldier, hitting him with the back of his gun, on the head. Seifer fell into the ground, knocked but not unconscious.

“Did you really think that it would be so easy? Waiting peacefully in your cell to be judged? After all what you did?” Said sarcastically another soldier.

“Fuck…you…” Replied Seifer.

“Yes…that’s we’re gonna do to you…we’re gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll beg us to stop…” Said the man, grabbing Seifer’s throat. But he released himself and kicked the man on the stomach. He was beaten again on his face and two men grabbed him by his arms and forced him to lie down on his stomach. Seifer struggled with all his strength but he didn’t yell.

“Fuck you…son of bitch…” Replied Seifer struggling. His face was on the ground. He felt hands on his legs. Four guys restrained him: two for his arms and two for legs. He fought as strong as he could but another man started to hit him hard in the hips with his foot. The soldier kept hitting him and used a stick. Seifer held his voice. He didn’t want to give them satisfaction yelling or crying. It hurt so much…the pain was too hard to handle but he stayed quiet biting his bottom lip until he was bleeding.

“Break his leg. Maybe he’ll stop to struggle…put him on his back.” proposed the leader.

They forced Seifer to return and to lie down on his back. He saw the stick in the air and closed his eyes to prepare himself…it would hurt…he knew it…the leader of the gang and another man grabbed his left leg and blocked it. Seifer felt the stick hitting him hard and couldn’t contain himself. He yelled, the pain was too hard…he couldn’t endure it…he tried to breathe slowly. He was shaking. He felt blood pouring along his broken leg. He couldn’t move.

“FU..CK…YOU!!!!” yelled Seifer in pain

“What a sissy…” said laughing one of the men who was holding his left arm.

The man with the stick continued to hit him hard in the hips. Seifer shouted again. He could hear his bones breaking…he had more and more difficulties to breathe…his vision blurred, when he was beaten on his face with a punch. His head knocked the ground roughly.

“Don’t knock him. I want him conscious…strip him.” Said the leader.

Seifer’s shirt got ripped. He felt someone grabbing his pants and his boxer. He could feel the cold air on his flesh. He muttered in pain because of his broken ribs and his broken leg. Each move hurt him so much…he felt someone spreading his legs roughly. He flinched when he felt his broken leg moving.

 “What a nice view…you have a pretty nice body for a traitor…” smirked the leader. “Give me the stick.”

Seifer blinked and closed his eyes. “ _God…just kill me right now…_ ” he thought.

The man spat on Seifer’s hole and entered him roughly with the stick. He yelled in pain.

“AAAAHHH…. St..op it..bas..tard…” he whispered in pain. It hurt. He could feel the stick moving in and moving out again and again, harder and faster.

“You’re tight…don’t worry bitch…you’re gonna love it soon…” Laughed the leader. He continued to rape Seifer with the stick.

Seifer endured the pain as he could, without looking at them. His ass hurt, his ribs and his leg moved and caused him more pain…without talking about the humiliation…Seifer Almasy…raped by six bastards. If he had Hyperion with him, he could have killed them just with a single blow…

“Alright…I think you’re ready now for something else…” he said with sadistic voice. He removed the stick from Seifer’s ass, it was covered by blood. Seifer was shaking, blood pouring out from his bottom…He didn’t have time to recover than he felt the man put it in roughly with his hard cock.

“Ah…still tight…” commented the rapist.

Seifer felt disgusted. He felt his cock touching his prostate again and again…he wanted to vomit. He still couldn’t move, his arms were blocked by the other men. He was getting hard even if it hurt so much…

“Damn! What a slut! You’re like it! Look how hard you are…” said another man grabbing Seifer’s cock and stroking.

“I prefer…the…stick…i..can’t..feel anything with..a..small dick..like yours…” joked Seifer, whispering words between moans of pain.

The rapist became angry and started to punch him hard in his face. Seifer hit the ground from the back of his head. He received several punches, on the nose and on the mouth…he was bleeding and knocked. The rapist rammed faster and harder his cock into Seifer’s ass… “Little slut! You’re talking but you like it.” He grabbed his throat and started to strangle him. “Beg bitch…beg me to stop…”

Seifer opened his eyes despite the pain and spat out on the rapist’s face with a laugh. The man grabbed his hair and knocked violently again on the ground. He took Seifer’s boxer and pushed it into his mouth.

“You better shut up bitch if you don’t want to die…” said the rapist, letting go his hair and grabbing his hips to thrust him more roughly. He moved faster until he came. Seifer started to vomit with disgust…he felt his semen inside of him, but with the boxer in his mouth he couldn’t spit out. He couldn’t breathe normally with his broken nose and with his mouth…the lack of air started to exhaust him…but he felt another cock entered him immediately after the first one. It was bigger and painful.

“Don’t faint bitch…we haven’t finished yet…” said the man who was ramming him roughly. He grabbed Seifer’s cock and stroked it to make him come.

“Come slut! Show me you like it!” he said laughing.

Seifer closed his eyes and tried to contain himself…he didn’t like it…why he did get hard? Just a physical reaction…he knew but he felt so humiliated…so weak…he came, biting hard his boxer with his teeth.

“Slut!” said the rapist hitting his jaw with his hand covered by Seifer’s semen. 

Seifer collapsed briefly. He heard something in his head: “My _knight…what a disgrace…look at yourself…you’re alone again now…nobody will love you anymore…_ ”

“ _Fucking bitch…it’s your fault…I should have never followed you…_ ” Seifer thought.

“ _You’re a traitor…you betrayed your friends to follow me, and you betrayed me…you’re not a hero, and you weren’t my protector…you’re worthless…that’s what you deserve…you’re alone._ ”

“ _No…she’s waiting for me, she needs me…_ ” thought Seifer.

“ _Because she didn’t know who you were…but do you really think she would still trust you after hearing all your crimes?_ ”

“ _Yes…_ ”

“ _She doesn’t need you…nobody needs you…you’re worthless…_ ”

Seifer woke up when he felt someone slamming hard his jaw. He opened his eyes and saw another man.

“Hey…princess is finally awake…” He said.

He was the fifth man who raped him. He didn’t know how long he had stayed unconscious…but he was too exhausted to think…he just wanted to stop living.

The man grabbed Seifer by his hair and forced him to bolt up. Seifer didn’t struggle anymore. He was forced to impale himself on his rapist’s hard dick when he felt someone entered him from the behind.

“You can take two cocks…you’re gonna love it…” Said the man behind him. Seifer flinched and shaked. His injuries were hurting him each time he moved and his inside was burning. He couldn’t endure it anymore…tears flowed along his cheeks…he closed his eyes and looked down but the leader held him by his hair to force him to look at. They were laughing and insulting him constantly…slut…traitor…bitch…sorceress’s knight…

The door opened suddenly. Kiros, Ward, Quistis and Irvine were staring at them in shock. Seifer didn’t notice them.

“OH MY GOD!!!” yelled Quistis with dismay.

“STOP IT!!! ARE YOU CRAZY?” Shouted Kiros to them.

Irvine raised his gun with anger: “LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!!! BASTARDS!!!” he yelled.

Ward and Irvine grabbed the rapists and threw them roughly into the ground.

Kiros and Quistis went immediately to Seifer who was injured severely.

“God…Seifer…can you hear me?” Asked Quistis with a worried voice. She was shaking, still in shock

“He fainted. This is serious…I think he has several ribs broken, his leg and his nose too…” Explained Kiros checking his injuries.

“I’m gonna look for help…” She said leaving quickly the place. Before leaving, she saw the stick covered by Seifer’s blood and started to cry…”Oh my God…”

 

* * *

Zell, Selphie and Lulu arrived in Balamb. They walked to the Dincht’s house and arrived quickly. They entered.

“Ma! I’m home.” Said Zell.

Zell’s mother came quickly from the kitchen.

“Hello Honey…oh Hello Selphie…” She replied when she saw the little Lulu behind Zell’s leg. “Hello cutie…what’s your name?” she asked kindly.

The little girl was still crying and she approached to the woman. “I’m Lulu…hello ma’m…”

“Why are you crying darling?” asked Miss Dincht to the little girl, but the child hid her face with her hands.

“She’s Seifer’s daughter…I’ll explain you later…” Said Zell. “He has been arrested…”

“Oh God…poor child…” she said sadly caressing her hair softly.

“I came because I didn’t know what to do. She didn’t stop crying since we left Winhill…I promised Seifer to take care of her…” explained Zell.

“I’m gonna go to the Garden. Maybe Matron could convince Squall…” proposed Selphie.

“Yes. That’s a good idea Selphie. Thanks.” Replied Zell.

Selphie went to Lulu. “Be strong sweetie okay? I’m gonna go now.” She said kissing her forehead.

“Bye…Miss yellow…” whispered Lulu.

Selphie smiled and left the home.

“She needs to sleep…” said Miss Dincht. “ I’m gonna prepare something to eat. Stay with her honey.”

“Yes Ma. Come with me Lulu.” Replied Zell grabbing her hand. She followed him in silence.

They entered in Zell’s room. Lulu sat on the bed. Zell removed her shoes.

“Mister Tattoo?” She asked.

“You can call me Zell. What is it?” said Zell with a smile.

“Zell..y..Zelly…” She said with a shy voice.

“Yeah…what’s wrong?” 

“Are you…the man that Vivi used to call ”chicken wuss”?” 

“Huh? Seifer told you about this???” He demanded with embarrassment.

“Is that you?” 

“Yeah…” Sighted Zell. “How do you know?”

“Vivi told me he called you like this because of your appearance…I supposed It was you because of your hair. You look like a chocobo…” she said, laughing.

“Hey! It’s nasty!” 

“No, no Zelly…I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. You’re cute with your hair like this, I like it…” She said smiling.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yes…you’re beautiful…I’m sorry if I said something wrong…” She replied blushing.

“No its okay...” he reassured her, caressing her hair.

“You know…he told me he regretted. He didn’t want to make you sad…” She said sorrowfully.

Zell blushed. “Really?”

“Yeah…he thought about you often…When I called my bird Chickie, he laughed…He was probably thinking about you…” She added.

“Oh…I thought he hated me…” answered Zell.

“No…Vivi has a good heart. Don’t be mad at him…” She demanded with her big blue eyes.

Zell smiled. “I’m not Lulu, don’t worry.”

She started to cry again. “I miss him Zelly…”

Zell took her in his arms. “I know Lulu…I know. Try to sleep a little bit.”

She closed her eyes and covered herself with the blanket. Zell stayed by her side for a short time, staring at her sadly. He thought about Seifer. He would never have imagined Seifer could regret anything, or to be sorry…he wasn’t definitely the same man.

 

* * *

Squall was in Laguna’s office.

“You know, you have all my support but…I’ve some doubts about it.” Said Laguna.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Replied Squall.

“Seifer…he begged you and you refused to let him go. I can’t understand you.”

“Dad. You’re too kind. He’s a criminal.”

“He’s also a father…you should understand since you’re gonna become a father too, soon.”

“That’s why I want him to be judged. I don’t want to see my child growing up in the world where Seifer is free.”

“Squall…he’s not threat for anybody anymore.”

“That’s what you say.”

“What about his daughter?”

“She could be adopted.”

“Squall!!”

“Whatever.”

They were interrupted when Kiros ran into the office.

“Kiros? What’s wrong?” Asked Laguna who was already on his feet.

“Seifer…” He started to explain when Squall faced his father.

“See? What I’ve told you! He's already causing us trouble since he arrived. What did he do?” Said sarcastically Squall.

“HE HAS BEEN ATTACKED!” yelled Kiros with anger to Squall.

Laguna and Squall were shocked. “What…happened?” muttered Laguna.

Kiros sighted. “Irvine, Ward, Quistis and I were visited him but when we opened the door…six soldiers were…raping him…” explained Kiros with a shy voice. “He’s seriously injured…he’s at the infirmary.”

“He has been…raped??? Oh My God…how this could have happened?” Asked Laguna upset.

“I don’t know. Ward and Irvine have already imprisoned them.” He replied.

“Let’s go to the infirmary.” Said Laguna. Squall was quiet and didn’t say anything. He followed them.

When they arrived at the infirmary, Quistis was waiting outside, looking at Seifer worried through the window.

“Honey…how is he?” Asked Laguna, taking her in his arms.

“Laguna…” she was crying.

“Tell me…”

“The doctor is still with him…I can’t believe it…it was so horrible…blood..everywhere…” She was too shocked to talk.

“Okay…calm down Honey…” Reassured Laguna kissing her forehead. She hugged him and cried against his chest.

The doctor left the room. Irvine arrived at this moment.

“Doctor? How is he?” Asked Kiros.

“His injuries are serious but he’ll live.” Replied the doctor.

“Tell us.” Said Irvine.

“Ten ribs, one leg, the nose and the jaw are broken, he has cranial trauma, intern injuries and a dislocated hip…he lost a lot of blood too.” He explained.

Everyone stayed quiet. Seifer was sleeping in the room behind the doctor. They looked at him concerned.

“You can see him later. He needs to rest now.” Said the doctor.

“Thank you.” Replied Laguna. Quistis was still in his arms. Irvine, Laguna and Kiros were staring at Squall with anger without saying a word. Squall didn’t show compassion or something, just his usual cold look.

“I need some fresh air…” Said Irvine turning his back and leaving.

 

* * *

Zell was still in his mother’s house in Balamb. He was talking with her. He explained her everything what happened. He drank a cup of coffee when someone knocked at the door.

“Come in.” Said Zell.

“Hi.” Replied Selphie. She was with Edea.

“Selphie, Matron…come in.” Zell invited them.

“Sorry. I should have told you I was coming…” Explained Edea with embarrassment.

“You’re welcome Matron. Did Selphie explain you everything?” Asked Zell.

“Yeah…poor child. Where is she?”

“She sleeps in my bed, on the first floor.”

“Zelly?” asked a little voice.

“Oh…Lulu. You’re awake?” Replied Zell who went to her.

“I can’t sleep. I heard someone knocking at the door…I thought it was Vivi…” She said, crying.

“Oh no Lulu…don’t cry.” Said Ma Dincht. She took her in her arms.”You wanna eat or drink something sweetie?”

“No thanks ma’m…” She replied.

Selphie looked at her sadly. “Be strong Lulu…Vivi needs you.”

She cried more. “Vivi is suffering now…I feel it. He’s in pain…”

Selphie raised her head. She felt Edea’s hand on her shoulder.

Edea went to the child. Ma Dincht put her on the ground. “Hi sweetie…I’m Edea. I was Vivi’s Matron when he was a child…” She wanted to touch her when the little girl shivered and pushed her away.

“Don’t touch me.” She said with fear and anger.

Zell looked at her with surprise. Lulu was a cute and a kind child usually.

“Lulu…what’s wrong?” asked Selphie.

“She hurt Vivi. She made bad things to him…I don’t know why or what she did but I feel it…”She replied staring at Edea.

“She’s right…” agreed Edea.

“Matron…it wasn’t you…and how does she even know? “asked Selphie.

“She doesn’t know…she feels it. I think she has a sensitive power. She reads people’s emotions. I can feel her power…” explained Edea.

Lulu looked at her and smiled. “You’re not bad, miss…you have a good heart…but you hurt Vivi…”

“It wasn’t what I wanted…I’m so sorry…” said Edea.

Lulu grabbed her hand. “I believe in you.”

Edea smiled. “You’re so kind, cutie…I understand why Seifer loves you so much…”

“I miss him…” she replied crying again.

“We came to bring you with us. We’re gonna see him.” She said.

“Really???” demanded the little girl with hope.

“Yes. Are you ready to leave? We’re gonna fly with the Bgu to Esthar.” Asked Selphie.

“Yes! Yes! Let’s go!” she yelled with joy.

“Let’s go.” Agreed Zell.

 

* * *

Seifer opened his eyes slowly. Irvine was by his side.

“How are you, man?” he demanded with a worried look.

Seifer was covered by bandages. His body hurt everywhere. He couldn’t move and his vision blurred, but he could see the cowboy.

“Where…am I?” asked Seifer with a jerky voice.

“At the infirmary. You’re safe here. Can I do something?” Asked Irvine.

“…”

“I’m…sorry, man…” Said Irvine sadly.

“Cowboy…my body hurts enough…I don’t need to be pitied in addition of that…” replied Seifer.

“I know…” Said Irvine.

Seifer laughed. “I suppose Puberty-boy already knows about this?”

“Yes…”

Laguna entered in the room with Quistis and Kiros.

“You’re awake Seifer? How are you?” asked Laguna.

Seifer sighted.

“Fine Mister President! You came to give me another round? Maybe your precious son could join you, don’t you think?” He replied with his classic smirk.

“Seifer…” said sadly Quistis.

“Quistis…long time no see. What’s wrong with you?” he asked sarcastically.

“I was so worried about you…I thought you died…” She explained with tears in her voice.

“Sorry to disappoint you Trepe. The bad seed is still hard to kill…so, should I spread my legs already or do you, guys, want a blow job first maybe?” he asked with a sadistic smile.

“It’s not funny Almasy…” replied coldly Kiros.

“Oh sorry Sir…I’ve probably lost my humor with my dignity.” he added smirking.

“They’ll pay for what they did, I promise.” Assured Laguna.

“Fuck you, you and your promises! I don’t care.” Replied Seifer angrily.

“Watch your mouth, son!” Said Kiros with authority.

“FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU!” Yelled Seifer with anger. He moved but he was stopped by the pain.

“Calm down Seifer! You’re reopening all your injuries!” explained Laguna worried.

“Who..cares…now?” He replied.

“Seifer…please calm down…we don’t want to hurt you…” explained Irvine.

“You did…when you came to Winhill…” Answered Seifer.

“Seifer…” said Laguna.

“I begged you…I begged you on knees to let me go…I BEGGED YOU! ME! SEIFER ALMASY! I begged your fucking son to let me stay in Winhill…but you forced me…you did nothing to stop him…you let him to take me away from her…” he started to cry.

“Seifer…” Quistis caressed his hair.

“I was happy in Winhill…I had a new life…I had a job…and the most incredible and wonderful person I never had met in my whole life by my side…she’s all I have…” He told them still crying.

They stayed quiet, probably because they felt guilty.

“When I was…under Ultimecia’s power…I couldn’t control my mind…but when I could…I’ve tried to help you…I got punished because of that…you don’t know…you don’t have a fucking clue about what she did to me…but…nobody believed me…you thought that I was a monster, a fucking bastard…a traitor…everyone, even my best friends turned their back to me…I was alone…but Lulu was there…she was still trying to comfort me when I was depressed…she never asked about my past…I told her I was a bad person…but she kept saying that I was a good man, that I had a big heart…and she told me she would love me whatever I’ve done…” explained Seifer.

They were staring at him with sadness. It was true. They never had tried to understand him or to listen what he had to say. It was easier to think he was a monster. Nobody cared about him.

“She accepted me…without expecting something in return. She was the one…the only one…and you took me away from her…” He cried and hid his eyes with his hand.”I probably deserve it…but not her…leave me alone…get out of here…I wanna be alone…”

They were looking at him and left quickly the room. Irvine was the last to leave but he gave something to Seifer before.

“Selphie gave me the pieces of Lulu’s bird before we left Winhill. I figured out you wanted to repair it so…” He deposed a little package on the table at Seifer’s left. “If you need some new pieces, just tell me. I’ll buy it.”

“Thanks.” whispered Seifer keeping his eyes closed.

“No problem. Take care…” He replied and left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Time to know

Edea, Selphie, Zell and Lulu were returned to the Bgu. The garden flew in the air into Esthar. Lulu stopped to cry because she knew she would see Vivi soon. But she was still worried. Edea let Lulu with Selphie and grabbed Zell by his arm to talk with him in privacy.

“Irvine called Selphie before we came to your house…and…” Edea couldn’t finish her sentence.

“And? What’s wrong?” asked Zell.

She was suddenly sad.

“Seifer has been attacked…in his cell…by soldiers…” She started to explain.

Zell panicked. He was in shock.

“Oh God…is he okay?” He asked worried.

She stayed quiet for a short moment, and finally spoke.

“Zell…Seifer…has been…raped too.” she said with sadness.

Zell blinked. “Wh..at…did you..say?”

“Yes…Quistis, Kiros, Irvine and Ward saw them…” She added.

“No…it can’t..be true..” Zell whispered in shock.

“He’s seriously injured…” She explained with tears in her voice.

“No…no…Oh God!” said Zell.

“I know…we didn’t tell anyone except to you. Cid, Raijin and Fujin don’t know yet…but I thought I should tell you…” she added.

“Seifer…it can’t be true…” repeated Zell again. Edea held him in her arms.

“You know…I think Lulu feels it, even if she’s far away from him, she feels his pain…that’s why I wanted to bring her to him. I think he needs her now…”

Zell was still in shock. He didn’t move.

“ I’ll try to convince Squall. I’ll do anything that I can…” she assured him.

“Does…Squall already know about what happened to him?” asked Zell.

“Yes…but I don’t know how he reacted.” She replied.

He raised his eyes. He was so sad…and so annoyed against Squall; it was his fault.

” Stay with Lulu. I’m gonna see my husband. Don’t talk about Seifer to anybody, okay?”

“Yes…don’t worry…”

“Okay…see you later.”

Zell started to cry, thinking about Seifer when he saw Lulu in front of him.

“Why are you crying Zelly?” asked the little girl.

Zell looked at Selphie with tears. She made a sign with her head. She understood that Edea told him. She was sad too.

“You’re…crying for Vivi, don’t you?” asked again Lulu.

Zell stared at her with sadness. “Yes…”

“Something…happened to Vivi…he’s…in pain…tell me.” Demanded the little girl to him.

Zell held her tightly.

“Lulu…I’ll set him free…I promise he would never suffer anymore…” Said Zell seriously.

She smiled and kissed him on his cheek. “Zelly’s good. I believe if Zelly promises me…”

He took her in his arms. “He’s gonna need you Lulu…never stop loving him.”

“I won’t. I love Vivi…I’ll love him forever…I don’t care about what he did…” She said.

They stayed quiet. Selphie let them alone and left. She understood they needed to be alone. Zell and Lulu were still in Zell’s room.

“Zelly?” she asked.

“Yes Lulu?”

“I…love you too…” she said with a shy voice.

“Oh sweetie…you’re so kind…”

“I mean…I like miss Yellow and your Ma…I like Matron too…but I love you…the same way I love Vivi…because I feel…you love him too.”

Zell blushed. “He’s…my friend Lulu…I like him…”

“No…I mean…yes…you like him…but more than the others…”

Zell felt embarrassed. “ Selphie cares about him too, you know? Matron too…Seif…Vivi has friends but he just doesn’t know it…but we’ll be here for him now…”

“You love Vivi, but not just as a friend…even if you don’t know it yet…” she replied.

She seemed to be serious and Zell felt uncomfortable. Edea told him Lulu could feel people’s emotions but…it was strange…He didn’t understand why she said that to him. He felt sorry and worried for Seifer, it was normal…but…she seemed to notice something that Zell didn’t even know himself…she smiled at him.

“Don’t worry…you will understand in time…” She touched his face with kindness.

 

* * *

 

Seifer was awake. He was trying to repair the bird, even if he was still injured. He asked Irvine to buy some pieces for him. It was hard for Seifer to move but he didn’t care about the pain. He just wanted to repair Chickie for Lulu. His vision blurred but he kept trying to fix the bird. He heard someone knocked at his door and entered. It was Irvine and Quistis.

“Seifer! You should stay in your bed. You’re still weak and injured…” said Quistis worried.

“I will when I’ll finish this. Did you bring back to me what I asked you Irvine?” demanded Seifer.

“Yes, man!” he replied, holding a little bag to him.

Seifer checked quickly the pieces. “ Thanks Cowboy.”

“You’re welcome!”

Seifer started to fix some pieces. Sometimes he moaned because of the pain but he didn’t stop.

“Seifer, please. You need to rest.” Insisted Quistis.

“I can’t.” he replied.

She sighted and sat down in a chair in front of him. “What are you doing ?”

“I repair what your fucking ice princess did to Chickie.” He replied angrily.

“What?” she asked. “What is “Chickie”?”

“Lulu’s bird.” Answered Seifer.

“Lulu’s bird? Who’s Lulu? You talked about her earlier but…” she asked again.

Seifer sighted. “My daughter…I thought that Irvine had explained it to you…”

“YOUR DAUGHTER?” flinched Quistis.

“Yes Trepe! I’m a father! I’ve got a daughter! Is it so incredible I can be a parent?” he replied annoyed.

“It’s just…unexpected…” she said with embarrassment.

“She’s five. Her name is Lulu. I adopted her after her grandmother’s death…I met her when I saved her from a monster. I stayed in Winhill since this day…” He explained.

“She’s so cute…she calls him Vivi.” Added Irvine.

“Vivi?” blinked Quistis.

“Yeah…I know…at the beginning I hated this name so much…but it was the first word she said after her grandfather’s death…I just couldn’t disappoint her saying I hated it…Her grandma told me that when her husband died, Lulu became sad and cried every day. She hid to nobody saw her crying…and she stopped to talk during two long years. When her grandmother asked my name, I couldn’t say I was Seifer Almasy…I was afraid to be chased again so I said that I had no name. Lulu said “Vivi”. It was her first word and I kept this name since this day…But with the time, I started to like it because she was always by my side…saying that name, saying that she loved me…again and again…” he continued to fix the bird.

Quistis and Irvine were listening quietly.

“It was as if she understood me better than anybody…she knew when I was depressed…she comforted me and kept saying she loved me…every time I saw her smile, I was happy and forgot everything. She did all the things she could to make me happy…”

“You seem to love her a lot…” said Quistis with kindness.

“Yes…she’s my reason to live.” Replied Seifer.

“But the bird is a robot? Why?” asked Irvine.

“I was with her the day when her grandma died. She came to see me at my workshop. She told me she was sleeping but she didn’t wake up and that her skin was cold…I understood immediately and I ran into the house…when I tried to explain she was gone, she started to yell and cry. She even used magic spells, trying to save her desperately…she was so sad…it was too hard to see her like that. I just couldn’t endure it…that’s why I made this bird for her birthday.” He said.

“I…don’t understand…” said Irvine.

“I..wanted something special for her…special and…eternal. If I had given her a real bird, he would have died, and it would have made her sad again…” he explained.

“Seifer…” Said Quistis softly.

“But when you came to arrest me, Lulu tried to protect me. Squall…destroyed the bird and hit her. She was so sad…I promised myself to never make her cry…but I failed…” He made a pause, trying to not cry.

“Seifer…” repeated Quistis again.

“I miss her…I think about her all the time…I hope she’s okay. I’m sure Zell takes care of her…but I’m worried…she makes nightmares sometimes…and she needs to feel somebody by her side…” He continued.

Irvine smiled at him. “You’re gonna see her again soon, man. Don’t worry. Selphie, Zell and Matron are coming to Esthar with her with the Bgu. I think they will be here tomorrow…or maybe tonight I don’t know…”

Seifer looked at Irvine surprised. “Really???” he asked.

“Yeah. She misses you too. Selphie told me she always asks about you…” He answered.

Seifer smiled. He seemed to be relieved. “She’s coming…”

“Yes Seifer. She’s coming.” Confirmed Irvine.

Quistis went to Seifer’s side and touched his face gently with her hand. “ You know…nobody wanted to arrest you…It was Squall’s idea…but we are all guilty. We didn’t stop him, even if we’ve tried to convince him…even his father tried…but not enough…but we’ll do all we can to set you free and clear your name.” She said with kindness.

Seifer didn’t’ say anything. He knew what would happen to him now…

 

* * *

Zell walked with Lulu in the Bgu. They went into the elevator to go to the Headmaster’s office. When they arrived, Edea was with Cid, Fujin and Raijin too.

“Zell, Lulu. Come in.” Said Edea.

The little girl held Zell’s hand firmly.

“We’re gonna arrive into Esthar in one hour…so you’re Lulu?” Asked Cid.

The child nodded. Raijin and Fujin looked at Zell with a surprising look.

“Who is she?” asked Raijin.

“Seifer’s daughter.” Replied Zell.

Raijin blinked. Fujin stared at them shocked.

“WWWHHHAAATTTT?????” Yelled Raijin.

Zell sighted. “It’s a long story…but when Seifer left Deling City after your quarrel, he went to Winhill and he started a new life there. He adopted Lulu after her grandmother’s death and he was living with her until…we came to arrest him…”

Lulu started to cry again. “I miss Vivi…” she said sadly.

“I know Lulu…don’t cry. You’re gonna see him soon, I promise…don’t cry…” Zell reassured the little girl taking her in his arms.

“Vivi?” asked Fujin.

“Seifer’s name. Lulu calls him like this.” Replied Zell.

Raijin scratched his head with his large hand, and went to the little girl to see her closer.

“God…I would never have imagined Seifer could become a father…I’m so relieved he’s alive…but why did you arrest him? Did he do something wrong?” Asked Raijin.

“No…but Squall wanted to capture him. He said he had to be judged…I’ve tried to convince him but…” Zell raised his head.

Raijin looked at him angrily. “You did nothing to stop him…”

“I’ve tried Raijin! I’ve tried…but I failed…” replied Zell.

Lulu went to Raijin and grabbed his large hand. “Zelly promised me he will help Vivi. I believe in Zelly. Don’t be mad Mister…jewel…but thank you. I know you like Vivi, so I like you too.” She said with a smile.

“Hey…you’re a cute little girl Lulu, ya know? But why “Mister Jewel”?” he asked.

“She gives strange names to people…don’t worry…” explained Zell laughing.

“It’s not strange. Mister has a big pearl necklace!” she said.

“Okay…I’m Raijin. Nice to meet you Lulu. I’m Seifer’s friend with my wife Fujin.” He pointed Fujin who approached them.

“I don’t like her.” Said coldly Lulu staring at Fujin with anger.

“What…?” demanded Raijin.

Lulu looked at Fujin with intensity. “I don’t like her.”

Fujin stayed in front of her without saying a word. Lulu didn’t move and faced her.

“She hurt Vivi. She is nasty. I don’t trust her.” Explained Lulu.

Raijin felt embarrassed. “No…Lulu. Fujin is Seifer’s best friend, ya know?”

“No…she made Vivi sad. Vivi likes her and you, Mister, but you turned your back to him…and Vivi was so sad. I forgive you, Mister, because I know you didn’t give up on him, and you still like him…but not her. She hates Vivi, and I’m sure she is the one who forced you to abandon him…I hate her!” she explained.

Fujin blinked but she stayed calm. “Seifer told you about me?”  she asked with a cold voice.

“No. He just told me he had two precious friends that he cherished…but they turned their back to him because they didn’t believe him…you broke his heart but he still thought about you and hoped you were happy together…Mister jewel is nice but you’re nasty. You don’t deserve Vivi’s kindness…” she said.

Fujin turned her back to her without saying a word and left the office quickly. Raijin stood here, embarrassed. Edea approached to them.

“It’s okay…don’t worry. She’ gonna calm down…but Lulu is just a child. She always says what she thinks. Don’t be mad at her…” said Edea.

“I’m…not mad…it’s just…she’s right, ya know? I didn’t want to leave Seifer behind us…but I did…”replied Raijin sadly.

“We’re gonna see him soon. You’ll be able to talk with him Raijin, you too Lulu.” Concluded Cid.

“Yes Sir.” replied Raijin.

 

* * *

Seifer finished to repair Chickie. The bird was exactly the same.

“Tweet…tweet…” sang the bird, flying in the room.

“Welcome back Chickie.” Said Seifer happy. The bird returned to his side and stayed on his shoulder.

“Lulu misses you. She’ll be happy to see you again.” He added looking at the bird caressing his wings.

Someone knocked at the door and entered in the room.

“Hi Seifer. How are you?” asked Laguna. He was with Kiros.

“Fine…” replied Seifer.

“Oh…you fixed the bird? “ asked Laguna.

“Yes. I did it for Lulu. She’ll need it when I’ll go…” he answered sadly, looking at the bird.

“Seifer…you know…Nothing has been decided yet at this point…” said Laguna.

“You figure out I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me? My fate is already sealed…the death or life imprisonment in the best case.” sighted Seifer.

“So…why did you surrender if you knew it?” Asked Kiros.

“I didn’t really have the choice…Winhill was the last place in this world where I could have lived but it’s too late now…I can’t run away with Lulu by my side. Her life is in Winhill, I can’t be selfish and take her away from her friends…and anyway, what for? Where would we go?” He said sadly.

“…”

“Could I see her one last time?” asked Seifer.

“Sure. As soon as she gets here, you’ll see her.” Replied Laguna.

“Thanks.” He said.

Laguna made a sign to Kiros. He wanted to talk with Seifer in privacy. Kiros agreed and left. Laguna sat on the chair in front of him. The bird was still on Seifer’s shoulder.

“I know you don’t care but I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for what happened to you…”started to say Laguna scratching his head. “And…I don’t agree with Squall…I didn’t want to arrest you…but I did nothing to stop him…it doesn’t change anything but I’m sorry…”

“ You’re right…it doesn’t change anything…” said Seifer.

“Yeah…but I’ll do everything to help you.”

“What about your precious son? Do you really think he would let you help me?” Asked Seifer.

“I can’t understand him. He’s gonna be a father too, so why he’s like this with you?” said Laguna.

Seifer looked surprised. “Linoa is pregnant?”

Laguna blushed and realized he was thinking out loud again. “Damn…I think I shouldn’t have said that to you…”

Seifer smirked. “ It’s okay. I don’t care anyway.”

Laguna stared at him. “Can I ask you something?”

“If I’m not forced to answer, why not?” Replied Seifer with a smirk.

Laguna sighted. “When…you told us that you’ve tried to help us when you were under Ultimecia’s control, what did you mean?”

Seifer looked at him and lay on the bed. The bird flew away and stayed on his pillow.

“Who cares? Nobody would believe me anyway…”

“I do. Tell me.” Said Laguna.

Seifer closed his eyes. “No.”

“Why?” asked Esthar’s President.

“I don’t want to remember.”

“Seifer…please.”

“I said No!” yelled Seifer in anger without making a move. “Don’t you have enough? Didn’t I suffer enough for you? Why don’t you kill me right now? It would be the better thing that you could do for me…” replied Seifer.

“What about Lulu? Do you really want to give up on her?” demanded Laguna.

Seifer opened his eyes and fixed the wall in front of him. “I knew…I should have never got attached…I knew I would suffer…but I kept trying…I kept trying like a fool.”

“Seifer…”

“I knew I would suffer…but I said myself maybe it was a time for me that I could be loved by someone…it was great…it was so wonderful to be loved and to feel needed…but when it stops…it hurts so much…” continued to explain Seifer without paying attention to Laguna.

“I’m sorry…I promise I’ll help you.” Said Laguna.

Seifer laughed. “You shouldn’t make promises that you can’t handle. I know what I’m talking about…”

Someone knocked at the door.

“Hi Mister Almasy. How are you? Oh…President Loire. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here…”said the doctor.

“It’s okay. Something’s wrong?” asked Laguna.

“No. I just came to give some medicines to Mister Almasy.” Said the doctor approaching to them, with a syringe. “Give me your arm please. You’ll feel better with that.”

“What is it?” asked Seifer.

“Just a sedative. Don’t worry.” He replied.

Seifer was obedient and did what he asked to him, holding his arm. The doctor administered him the sedative and turned his back to leave. “Try to sleep Mister Almasy. You’re still in frail condition.”

“I’ll let you rest. Call if you need of anything.” Said Laguna, leaving the room.

Seifer felt tired suddenly. He closed his eyes. He didn’t really feel the pain anymore, but he felt so dirty…and weak. Everybody would talk about what happened to him…They would laugh at him…or pity him…but he didn’t care anymore. It was the time to end this. He just felt sad that he knew he would make Lulu cry…he didn’t want to abandon her…but he didn’t have the choice…and maybe it would be better for her. Seifer Almasy wasn’t a good person as far as he could recall…even if he became “Vivi” he didn’t change the person he was…it would never change.

 

* * *

The Bgu arrived on the Estharian coast. Zell, Lulu, Selphie, Cid, Raijin and Fujin took a squad to go to the Presidential Palace. When they arrived, they were welcomed by Kiros. They walked into Laguna’s office and entered. Irvine and Quistis were already there with the President.

“Hi everyone.” Said Laguna.

Irvine went to Selphie to kiss her tenderly. Quistis approached to Lulu and smiled at her. “Are you Lulu?”

Lulu nodded.“I’m Quistis. I’m Seifer’s friend. Nice to meet you Lulu.” Said Quistis caressing her hair with kindness.

“Hi Miss…”teacher”?” replied Lulu with an interrogate look.

“What?” asked Quistis with surprise.

“You…look like my teacher…” Replied Lulu.

Edea smiled. “Lulu is an observant child Quistis.”

Quistis smiled too . “You’re right Lulu. I was Seifer’s teacher before.”

Lulu seemed to be sad suddenly. “What’s wrong?” asked Quistis.

“Something happened to Vivi. I can see it in your eyes…you seem to be so sad that I’m sure it’s something terrible…I’m worried. I wanna see him…” Replied Lulu.

Quistis felt nervous and depressed. She looked at Edea and Zell. She raised her head, restraining herself to not cry.

“What happened to Seifer?” Asked Raijin.

Nobody answered. Cid, Raijin and Fujin still didn’t know. Laguna looked at Ward and they approached to Lulu.

“You can see him Lulu. Ward’s coming with you okay?” said softly Laguna to her caressing her head.

“Really??? Thank you Mister “Ponytail”! You’re really nice!” She replied with joy. She grabbed Ward’s hand and started to run into the door. “Come ‘on Mister “Big”! Hurry!”

Everyone looked at the child with kindness. “She’s a cute child.” Said Quistis.

Laguna returned to his desk and scratched his head.

“SO? I repeat: “what happened to Seifer?” Is he okay?” asked Raijin.

Kiros fixed him. “I thought that you already knew it.”

“No. We don’t.” replied Fujin.

Laguna sighted. “Well…it’s not like we can hide it forever…Seifer has been attacked by six soldiers when he was in his cell…” he started to explain.

“WWWHHHAAAATTTT?” shouted Raijin.

Laguna felt suddenly embarrassed. “Yeah…it wasn’t supposed to happen, I know. We already arrested them and they will pay for what they did to him…”

“What happened?” Asked Fujin calmly.

Laguna didn’t answer. Quistis and Irvine looked down as if they were ashamed.

“What?” asked Cid.

Kiros finally replied with a low voice: “Seifer…has been…raped.”

Raijin and Fujin were shocked. They couldn’t believe it. They stayed quiet for a long time.

“God…” said Cid looking at Edea. “You…knew, honey?” he asked to her.

She nodded. Fujin finally asked: “Why…nobody told us?”

“Because we didn’t know how to react…” explained Quistis.

“How? It’s…impossible! You…YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT SEIFER ALMASY, YA KNOW? IT’S JUST IMPOSSIBLE!” yelled Raijin with anger.

“We know that Raijin! Don’t you think we weren’t’ in shock too when we saw it?” Replied Irvine.  “They were six. They were armed and Seifer was defenseless and…probably hurt emotionally because he was taken away from Lulu…he couldn’t really defend himself…”

Raijin hit the wall behind him with his wrist. “DAMMIT!” he shouted again.

Fujin stayed silent by his side. Nobody could really guess what she was thinking. They didn’t have the time to ask when Ward and Lulu were returned.

“What’s wrong Ward?” Asked Laguna.

“Mister Ponytail! Where is Vivi?” asked Lulu worried.

“But…he’s supposed to be at the infirmary…” replied Laguna.

“Ward says Seifer isn’t there. He looked at him with Lulu but he didn’t find him.” Explained Kiros.

“We need to find him. Check all the cameras on the Palace and seal the exits!” ordered Laguna.

A guard entered in the office with another man.

“Sorry to disturb you President but Doctor Geyser wants to start experiments on the prisoner and…” said the other man. He wore a white coat. He was Doctor Geyser’s assistant.

 “WHAT? I never gave my permission for that!!” Yelled Laguna.

“I know President. That’s why I came to ask you…” said the assistant.

“This bastard! I’m gonna kill him!! Where’s he?” asked Laguna with anger.

“In his laboratory…with your son…President…” replied the assistant.

Laguna stayed motionless, like frozen out. “Squall?? But…why?”

“To tell you the truth…your son was the one who asked Doctor Geyser to “examine” the prisoner…” he said with embarrassment.

Laguna started to become very angry when Kiros said: “Let’s go there; We ‘re gonna ask him what’s going on.”

Everyone went quickly in the laboratory. They found Seifer lying down on a table. He was unconscious. Strange machines were connected to him, one by his arm with a long probe, another by his head with two electrodes.

“What’s going on?” asked Laguna to Squall and Geyser. He was furious.

“Mizter Prezident…” started to say the doctor.

“Squall! What are you doing?” asked Irvine.

“Vivi!!” shouted Lulu when she saw Seifer. She ran to him when she was grabbed by Zell.

“Lulu! Calm down!” he said but the little girl struggled.

“Let me go Zelly! They hurt him! Vivi! Wake up!” she yelled.

“He’s asleep. We didn’t hurt him.” Replied Squall.

Lulu became angry. “I HATE YOU! LET HIM GO NOW!” she yelled.

“Stop it Lulu, please!” said Zell. He turned his back and looked at Squall angrily. “What do you intend to do with him Squall? Don’t you have enough? “

“Zell, I’m not hurting him, I’ve just brought him to check something…” starting to explain Squall.

“CHECK WHAT?” yelled Zell.

“If he’s still under Ultimecia’s control! That’s why I brought him here. Geyser can explore his mind. He could tell us…” Squall replied.

“You didn’t have the right to decide that by yourself.” Said Laguna still angry.

“But…”

“There’s no “but” Squall! I’m the President of this city! You should have told me about that! Seifer was still weak after what happened earlier, how could you be so insensitive? “ asked laguna.

Squall stayed quiet.

“I can’t understand you! We already know what he did but…you went too far. I refuse this experience. Release him right now!” Ordered Laguna.

“But Mizter Prezident, we could underztand him better and…” started to explained the Doctor.

“Stop it Geyser! Don’t you think I don’t see what your real aim is? I know you want the sorceress comes back, but it would never happen!” concluded Laguna.

“Dad…it wasn’t what I wanted…” objected Squall.

“So? What did you want?” Asked Kiros.

“We could explore his thoughts. He won’t suffer because he’s unconscious and we won’t need to ask him. We could clear his name if we can prove he was under Ultimecia’s control…” explained Squall.

Everybody looked at him with surprise. 

“Galbadia, Trabia and Balamb authorities want him too. Even if you’re Esthar’s President, you can’t decide of Seifer Almasy’s sort by yourself…” added Squall fixing his father. “I knew you would refuse, that’s why I did it without asking you.” 

No one said a single word. Lulu who was still in Zell’s arms stopped to struggle. She focused her look to Seifer. “Don’t…hurt Vivi…please…” she said softly.

Squall turned his back and looked at her. “I won’t. He won’t suffer, I promise. I won’t hurt your dad…he’s just sleeping and he’ll feel nothing. It’s better this way…” Explained Squall to Lulu.

For the first time, Lulu looked at him calmly. “ He…suffered…when he slept, he always suffered…he begged “her” to stop…” she said with tears in her voice.

Zell caressed her hair. “Did you remember something else Lulu? Did he say something to you?”

“No…He…never explained…” she said crying.

Zell comforted her in his arms. “It’s okay sweetie, don’t cry.”

“Squall is right. We should do it.” Said Cid.

“Huh?” asked Laguna.

“If we can explore his mind without hurting him, I think it’s a good idea. We could understand him better.” He added. Edea raised her head.

“What’s wrong Matron?” asked Quistis who noticed her.

“I…remember some events when I was under Ultimecia’s control and…to be honest, i don’t really want to see that again…” she explained.

“But…you need to tell us Matron, it’s important…” said Irvine.

“I know…but it’s just…too hard to say…and I don’t think Seifer would appreciate you see it…” she answered.

“Could it be worse than we already saw when he was…in his cell?” asked Kiros.

Edea looked down.”Yes…It can be worse…but I don’t know what happened after I’ve recovered my soul…I think she tortured him even more after that…” she said sadly.

“But…why?” asked Selphie.

“I don’t know…I couldn’t understand…” justified Edea.

“We could find the answers. Let’s do this…I know it’s not fair to do it without his agreement but he would suffer even more if we would ask him…” said Squall.

Laguna seemed to be hesitant but finally agreed. “I hope for you he won’t have some cerebral injuries or something like that, and don’t try anything or I will kill you!” Said Laguna to Geyser.

“Don’t worry Mizter Prezident…it’z only for the zcietific rezearchz…” said Geyser. “Zit down…I’m gonna prozeed…”

Zell looked at Lulu. “Maybe you should wait outside Lulu?”

“But…”

“Lulu…I know how much you care about Vivi but I promise nobody will hurt him. We just want to help him so please, go with Ward…it’s better for you. I don’t want you to see him like that…trust me, okay?” said Zell.

“If Zelly promises me, I believe in him.” She said sadly.

“Good. Thank you.” He kissed her cheek and she went outside with Ward.

“It’s better for her. You’re right.” Added Selphie.

“Alright. Are you ready? Zo…let’z go…” said Geyser.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i suppose nobody found this really good since you guys didn't let a comment or a kudo...sorry, i'll try to improve it  
> I hesitated to use the name Geyser or Odine for the crazy doctor but i played lately and it was Geyzer in my version...  
> See you!


	13. time to explore the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The orphanage group explores Seifer's mind. This long chapter has some graphic violence and disturbed contempt so...you're warned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for kudos and comments, guys! I wanted to drop this...tell me if i can improve something!  
> See you! ^_^

Everyone took a seat. Seifer was lying down in the middle of the laboratory, on a table. The machines were connected to him. There were screens behind the machines. The group fixed the screens. A lot of pictures appeared, some from the present and others from the past, but everything was mixed so it was hard to understand anything.

“We can’t see anything. There're too much informations…” said Selphie.

“I know…The zujet iz too ztrezzed…” explained Geyser.

“We should stop this…” said Laguna.

“It’z okay Mizter Prezident…I just need few minutez…pleaze…” insisted Geyser.

The doctor made some adjustments to his machines. The pictures became clearer and winded on slowly.

“Iz it better? “ asked Geyser.

“Yeah.” Confirmed Squall.

A recent scene appeared: it was when Squall and the others came to arrest him. Squall was defending himself from Lulu’s assault and hit the bird.

_“DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER! BASTARD!”_

_“Chickie…CHICKIE!!!”_

_“Oh God…don’t worry sweetie. I’ll repair him…don’t worry..he’s gonna be okay…”_

_“Chickie…he killed Chickie!!! Vivi…”_

_“I’m so sorry, honey…forgive me…I promise, he’s gonna be okay…don’t worry…don’t cry. Don’t cry sweetie, it’s okay…”_

_**“It reminds you someone, don’t you?”** _

Zell looked at Geyser with a surprised look.

“What was that? Where does this voice come from?” Asked Zell to the doctor.

“It seems to be Seifer’s voice…” said Selphie.

“Yeah…I think Mizter Almazy talked to himself…” explained Geyser.

 

Suddenly, the pictures changed. _It represented a little boy with blond short hair with green eyes. He wore a white shirt, brown short and strappy sandals. He was covered by bruises on his face, on his arms and legs. He has got a bandage around his left wrist._

Quistis asked suddenly: “Is it…Seifer when he was a child? Why all these bruises?”

Edea looked at the pictures: “Yeah, it’s Seifer, he was probably about four…I never knew his past…”

They stayed quiet and continued fixing the screens.

 

_The little Seifer was sitting on the flour. “Mommy?”_

_The lady didn’t answer. She was tall, with long blond hair. Nobody could see her face, probably because Seifer’s memories were distorted. She turned her back to her child._

_“Mommy?” asked again the little boy. “Mommy?”_

_“WHAT?” replied angrily the woman._

_“ My wrist hurts…”_

_“I’m busy now.”_

_“But it hurts Mommy…”_

_“Seifer! You’re a big boy! Stop crying all the time!”_

_The boy was crying and tried desperately to draw attention to him. “Mommy…”_

_“Enough Seifer! I said I was busy! I don’t have time for you now!”_

_The boy looked down. “You never have time for me anyway…”_

_“GET OUT! You disturb me!” The woman grabbed Seifer’s arm and threw him outside. The boy fell on the ground, weeping._

_He walked on the street. He was in Esthar. The city was already a big technologic place._

“Seifer was from Esthar?” Asked Irvine.

“Probably...” Replied Kiros.

 

_The little boy went outside of the city and arrived near to the forest. A little bird flew in the air and went to Seifer. It was a white bird with large wings, green eyes and golden beak._

_“Hyperion!”_

_The bird alighted on Seifer’s arm. “Hi Hyperion! I brought you something to eat.”_

_Seifer opened his little hand and held a piece of bread to the bird.”I know you like it. I spread some butter on the bread.” The bird started to peck on his hand. The boy was smiling._

“Seifer was a cute child…” Said sadly Selphie.

“So, That’s why he named his gunblade “Hyperion”. It was the bird’s name…it looks like the one he made for Lulu.” Added Irvine.

 

_The kid played with the bird. He was smiling and seemed to be so happy with him. He sat down on the grass and caressed it tenderly. The bird was on his tights._

_“You know…you’re my best friend Hyperion. My only friend. I really love you.”_

The pictures on the screen changed and another one appeared. _The little boy was on the floor. He was bleeding and crying._

**_“Stop crying. He’s gonna be mad again.”_ **

_“But…why should I do? It hurts…”_

**_“Smile.”_ **

“Huh?”

**_“Maybe if you smile, he’s gonna stop…”_ **

_There was a man in front of the child. He was yelling at his son. Nobody could see his face too. He was just tall and strong.  “SHUT UP! DON’T YOU EVER SHUT UP?!”_

_The woman came to stop him. He was beating the little boy, hitting him on the ribs with his foot. “Honey…please! Stop it! You’re gonna kill him!!”_

_“Dad…” said softly the boy._

_The man pushed away the woman and continued to beat him. “SHUT UP!”_

_The boy was in pain. He stopped to cry and turned his face to his father. He was smiling. The man was surprised and stopped suddenly. He was disconcerted. He beat him again. “YOU FIND THIS FUNNY? HUH?” He stopped and left after few minutes._

**_“See? I told you he would stop if you smile.”_ **

****

Another scene appeared again. _The little boy was beaten again and again. He was still smiling when the little bird came inside the house and attacked the man._

_“HYPERION! NO!” yelled Seifer._

_The man grabbed the bird by the head and threw it on the ground before crushing him with his foot._

_“NOOOO! HYPERION!!!!!” The little boy shouted and ran into the bird. The only thing he could see was blood…The man started to laugh._

_“Look at your precious friend! You’re crying again and again. That’s the only thing you can do…crying..what a sissy!” He laughed. He tried to grab the boy by the arm when the kid pushed him away with an angry look._

_“You killed him…he was…my friend…my only…friend…I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!” yelled Seifer raising his wrist against his father. He punched him on the face. The man fell on the ground in shock. The kid had an immensurable strength. He jumped on his father’s body and continued to beat him on his face violently. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” he shouted hitting the man who was bleeding. Her mother went to stop him but he looked at her with angry eyes. “DON’T TOUCH ME!”He shouted to her. She was afraid and stayed away. The boy continued to beat his father until he_ _was tired._

_He got up and picked up the bird’s bloody corpse and left the house. He was walking into the forest and sat up heavily. He dug a hole in the grass with his little hands and deposed the bird inside. He covered the hole with the soil and cried again. “Hyperion…I’m so sorry…I couldn’t protect you…forgive me my friend…forgive me…”_

“Poor Seifer…” said Selphie sadly.

 

Another scene switched on the screen _. Seifer was in front of his home. It was on ruins. The entire neighborhood was destroyed, and burned. A man grabbed Seifer by his arm._

_“Don’t stay here, son, it’s dangerous.” Said the man._

_“Where are my parents?” asked the kid._

_“You lived here?”_

_“Yes, this is my home. Where are they?” Said Seifer, pointing his home in ruins with his finger._

_The man raised his head and looked at the boy sadly._

_“They…are dead, son. I’m sorry. We found two corpses in this house…”_

_The boy stared at him._

_“There was an explosion in the neighborhood. We don’t know what happened but there was fire everywhere and a lot of people died…I’m sorry…”_

_The little boy started to sob silently. The man picked him on his arms. He brought him in a big room. Seifer closed his eyes. He heard some voices but he stayed quiet and calm._

_“He lost his parents. We’re gonna send him in an orphanage.”_

Pictures changed. _Seifer was in Edea’s orphanage. She welcomed him but he stayed distant and ran into the beach. He sat up on the sand and looked at the sea._

**_“Are you sad?”_ **

_“Yes. I miss Hyperion.”_

**_“And…what about dad and mom?”_ **

_“I…miss them too.”_

**_“Why? They were nasty.”_ **

_“I know…but even if mom didn’t care about me…even if dad always beat me…I loved them…I loved Hyperion more because he was so nice with me…but I still loved them…”_

**_“Why?”_ **

_“Because…they were all I had…I’m alone now…”_

**_“But Matron seems to be nice…and the children too. Selphie and Irvine are funny…”_ **

_“I…don’t want to love them…”_

**_“Why?”_ **

_“Because…all the people I love always die.”_

**_“No. it’s not your fault.”_ **

_“Hyperion died because of me…Dad and Mom died because of me. If I had stayed in the house, maybe nothing would have happened…”_

**_“But it was an explosion…”_ **

_“I know it’s because of me…and even if it’s not my fault, I don’t want to be sad anymore.”_

**_“So…what are you gonna do now?”_ **

_“I’m gonna be strong…no one would never make me sad, because I won’t love anybody anymore.”_

**_“You’re gonna be lonely.”_ **

_“I don’t care.”_

**_“They could be your friends.”_ **

_“No. I’ll be nasty with them. They won’t love me and I won’t be sad.”_

**_“It’s a bad idea.”_ **

_Seifer was staring at the sky sadly._

 

“That’s why he was like this…” said sadly Quistis. “He suffered so much. I would never have imagined that…”

 

Another picture appeared. _It showed Zell when he was a kid. Seifer was older. Maybe five._

**_“What do you think about the new child?”_ **

_“He’s…nice.”_

**_“He could be your friend. He gave you his cake at the lunch.”_ **

_“Yes…but he’s weak. He cries all the time…”_

**_“You cried too…”_ **

_“Yes…but I’m stronger now. He’s gonna suffer if he stays so weak…”_

**_“What are you gonna do with him?”_ **

_“I…don’t want he suffers like me. He needs to be strong. I’ll be nasty with him. If I insult him and laugh at him all the time, maybe he’ll be angry and he’ll fight…”_

**_“But he will hate you…”_ **

_“I don’t want he loves me.”_

**_“But you like him, don’t you?”_ **

_“Yes…he’s nice…but too nice. If he hates me, he’s gonna become stronger and he could defend himself instead of crying…”_

**_“Don’t do that…you’re gonna regret it.”_ **

****

_The pictures changed and showed Zell when he was sleeping. Seifer was looking at him with a smile. When Zell was shaking, Seifer held him to calm the little cry baby, but he returned in his bed when Zell opened his eyes. He didn’t want to show he could be nice sometimes…_

_Another picture appeared. Zell just had been adopted by the Dincht. Seifer was sat on the sand._

**_“You miss him?”_ **

_“Yes. But he’s happy now. He has got a family.”_

**_“What about the others? Squall, Quistis, Selphie and Irvine are still here.”_ **

_“They don’t care about me. Everyone loves Squall so much…”_

**_“Because you’re nasty with them. You don’t like Squall?”_ **

_“He is an idiot. He thinks if he’s cold, people would stop loving him…he’s so weak since Ellone left…”_

**_“He’s doing the same thing as you. He tries to protect himself. He doesn’t want to love anymore because he’s afraid to be hurt again…”_ **

_“That’s why he’s an idiot. I’m not like him. People hate me because I’m nasty. They leave me alone, but they won’t stop caring about him if he stays like this. Everyone can read him…he’s just too obvious…”_

_The pictures changed again. A recent scene…when Zell tried to convince Squall to let Seifer stay in Winhill._

**_“He still cares about you…”_ **

_“No…he’s just kind…still too kind…I thought he hated me…I was so cruel with him, why?”_

**“Maybe he couldn’t support to see people suffering…”**

_“But…even me?”_

**“Even you…you never wanted to hurt people…”**

_“But…I did…”_

 

Zell fixed the screen with sadness. He realized how wrong he was about Seifer…He never hated him…he just wanted to make him stronger…and he did it. Zell worked hard after had been adopted. He trained so hard to become a good fighter…because he hated Seifer so much…

“Zell?” asked Edea.

Zell felt so sad. “I thought…he hated me…I couldn’t know…”

“Nobody could know Zell…Seifer suffered so much that he couldn’t understand himself…he used his bad attitude to hide his emotions…” replied Quistis.

“Nobody tried to understand him either….” Said Zell.

“You’re right Zell…nobody tried…it was easier to think he was just an unruly child…”added Edea sorrowfully.

 

Other scenes switched. This time, _it was an argument between Raijin, Fujin and Seifer, when they were in Deling City._

_“It’s always the others Seifer! ALWAYS!”_

_“It’s true! They laughed at me! They said I was the sorceress ‘s whore and…”_

_“You didn’t need to fight with them, ya know?”_

_“I won’t let anybody insult me! Even these bastards! They deserved it!”_

_“You need a job, ya know? You just had to do the dishes… ”_

_“I know! Thanks Raijin! I’ve tried! I’ve tried everything to stay calm but they hate me.”_

_“They have the right to hate you.”_

_“Do you think I don’t figure out?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“What?”_

_“I think you don’t realize all the bad things you did.”_

_“Fuu…”_

_“You don’t know how much people had suffered because of you. You’re still the same! Arrogant and childish! Selfish and ungrateful!”_

_“Selfish? Ungrateful?”_

_“Yes! That’s what I said!”_

_“Seifer… You lost all the jobs you got, ya know? The barman was our friend. He hired you because he knew us. But you messed up all the time!”_

_“We gave you everything! Do you have any idea how was it hard to get this job for you? Who do you think you are? You were the sorceress’s knight! Did you really think that people would welcome you with open arms?”_

_“I’ve never ask you to join me!! I didn’t need your help!”_

_“That’s what you say! You know it’s not true!”_

_“I’m such a pain in your ass Fuu, do I ? That’s what you say? Why don’t you join Puberty-boy then?”_

_“We should’ve done it.”_

_“Fuu…”_

_“It’s the truth Raijin. That’s enough! Why should we ruin our own life because of him?”_

_“I don’t need you! I never needed you!”_

_“FINE! SO GET OUT!”_

_“FUCK YOU!”_

_Seifer walked on the land, fighting and killing all the monsters he met on his road. He seemed to be so tired and sad._

_“Alone again my Knight?”_

_“Fuck you Bitch! I’m not your knight!”_

_“Look at yourself…you are pitiful…”_

_“Thanks to you!”_

_“No my knight…you are useless. That’s why you’re alone. Even your last friends left you…”_

_“I don’t need them. I don’t need you. I need nobody!”_

_“That’s what you say…”_

_“That’s the truth! Get out of my head! I don’t want to listen your fucking voice anymore!”_

_“You are useless…you can’t do something right, even when you were with me. You are so weak…nobody needs you.”_

_“SHUT UP!”_

_He woke up and looked around him. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down._

**_“Don’t listen to her…”_ **

_“I can’t. She’s still in my mind.”_

**_“She’s dead. She’s not here.”_ **

_“I can feel her.”_

**_“She’s dead. It’s just an illusion.”_ **

_He sighted._

_“I’m crazy. I talk to myself and I hear this bitch’s voice in my head…”_

**_“I’m just your conscience.”_ **

_“I know. But I feel so lonely…”_

**_“You miss them?”_ **

_“Raijin and Fujin? No. they turned their back to me.”_

**_“You are a posse…”_ **

_“I used to think that but…but it’s not true. They’re in love…I was just in the way…”_

**_“Fujin loves you.”_ **

_“No…I mean…yes, but not anymore. I knew it but I never returned her feelings…I never said a word about it, I pretended to not know…”_

**_“Why? She could be a good wife for you.”_ **

_“I know. I found her cute and sexy…but Raijin loved her. He never told me but I saw it in his eyes. I didn’t want to take her away from him…he deserved her better than me…”_

**_“That’s why you’ve never returned her feelings? Because of Raijin?”_ **

_“I did it for him. He was my friend, I didn’t want to break his heart…and maybe I was afraid too. Who cares now anyway? They're tired of me…”_

**_“Because you never told them how much you suffered…”_ **

_“I’m broken…she broke me…she stole me everything…my friends, my honor, my dignity…I got nothing left now…”_

The group was staring at Seifer’s memories. They realized how they were wrong about him. Fujin who was usually calm, felt weak and depressed. She hid her face in her hands. She didn’t cry but…she felt ashamed. Raijin comforted her in his arms without saying a word. It wasn’t necessary. He understood her…and he felt the same shame.

“We thought…we did so much for him but…we left him behind us…I hurt him…” said Fujin with a low voice.

“If only he had talked to us…we could have helped him…I feel so ashamed…he was our friend and…we gave up on him…” added Raijin, still holding Fujin in his arms.

“Nobody knew…don’t blame yourself. It’s useless.” Said Squall.

 

Geyser interrupted them. “There’re zome memoriez with the zorcerezz…let’z zee theze.”

_Edea’s face appeared on the screen. It was when they were in Deling City. Before the parade, Edea called two monsters to kill Linoa who was under her control. Seifer was staring at her, worried._

_“Linoa…why are you here?” he asked to himself._

_“Follow me my Knight.” Said Edea._

_“Yes…My Lady.” Seifer saw the creatures. “They’re gonna kill her. She can’t defend herself in her state…what should I do?” he thought._

_The sorceress left the room._

_“I can’t stay here any longer…” Seifer used a magic spell on Linoa. “It would protect you from these monsters until you recover your mind, I hope…I can’t do anything else…I’m sorry.” He left the room, following his mistress._

Irvine looked at Squall.

“That’s why she wasn’t hurt when we came to save her…” explained Irvine.

Squall nodded. “He could have saved her…”

Edea raised her head. “You don’t know anything Squall…”

Squall fixed her. “What do you mean Matron?”

Edea sighted. “She…I punished him for this…” She stayed quiet and fixed on the screen. Everyone did the same.

 

There was another scene on the screen. _Seifer was with Edea, in D-District Prison._

_“I want you question the seed, My Knight.”_

_Seifer was nervous. “But…we already know everything about their plan My Lady…”_

_“I want he suffers.”_

_“But My Lady…”_

_“Do what I say. Torture him.”_

_Seifer stayed quiet. He looked down. The sorceress was so frightening. She approached of him and fixed him._

_“Are you disobeying me My Knight?”_

_Seifer faced her. “ My Lady…”_

_She grabbed his throat. “ENOUGH! YOU’RE GONNA DO WHAT I SAY!” she shouted._

_Seifer struggled. He couldn’t breathe._

_“I know what you did when we were in Deling City…”_

_Seifer felt afraid…he was in pain, and he knew it was just the beginning._

_“You’re gonna pay for that later My Knight…but not now. I’ll force you to obey me.”_

_She let him fall on the ground and grabbed his hair with strength. She forced him to face her, even if the young man still didn’t breathe normally. Seifer opened his eyes and fainted. He recovered few minutes later but his eyes were dark and livid…as if he was possessed. He left the room._

_The next scene showed Seifer who was torturing Squall with electricity. When he finished, he threw him in his cell. He looked at him and seemed to recover his mind._

_“What I have done?” he thought._

_Squall was in pain. He was shaking, still suffering from his injuries._

_“I didn’t want to…she forced me…I couldn’t control myself…”_

_Squall fainted on the ground, unconscious. Seifer carried him on his bed and looked at him. “Squall…I couldn’t do anything…I’m sorry…” He used a cure spell on him and left._

Quistis looked at Squall. “He never wanted to hurt you…she forced him to do it…”

Edea looked down. “It’s my fault…I controlled him when he refused to obey me…it was more often that you could imagine…”

“It wasn’t you matron…” Said Squall.

“It wasn’t Seifer either Squall…” she replied.

They said nothing more and fixed the screen again _. Seifer was with Edea. She was sitting, turning her back to him. He kept silent, waiting for orders from his mistress. She stood up and approached to him with a dangerous look. Seifer was worried._

_“You disobeyed me again My Knight.”_

_“No…My Lady. I did what you asked me…”_

_“But you cured him.”_

_Seifer blinked. How could she know it?_

_“I can read your thoughts. You’re so stupid. You helped him knowing you were going to be punished for that…”_

_“My Lady…”_

_“SHUT UP!”_

_Seifer stayed quiet. He was afraid. She was in front of him. She grabbed his hair and threw him violently behind her. Seifer crashed against the wall. He was knocked. When he opened his eyes, she was already near to him. She raised her hand on his face. Seifer felt strange. He couldn’t move, his body didn’t respond._

_“The girl was supposed to die in Deling City…You saved her.”_

_“My..Lad..y..”_

_“You need to be punished. You will never betray me again after that…”_

_A group of ten men entered in the room. Seifer looked at them. He supposed they would beat him hard, but when one of them grabbed him by his hair and threw him in the middle of the group, he understood it would be worse._

_“Don’t go easy on him. I want he suffers.”_

_“Yes My Lady.” Replied the man._

_Seifer still couldn’t move. He body was static and weak. The sorceress sat on the chair in front of them and fixed him. Three men ripped his clothes and beat him on the face and on his stomach. Seifer was naked and he felt so humiliated._

_“God…they’re gonna rape me…” he thought._

_One man spread Seifer’s thighs and kicked him, hitting hard his penis and his testicles with his foot. He retrained himself to not shout, biting his bottom lip. The same man beat him in his face and entered him with something cold and large. He couldn’t see what it was but he felt the pain. Something was hurting him inside, he felt the thing go deeper and deeper and hitting his prostate hard. He was bleeding from the inside. He yelled loudly. The others started to rub their cocks looking at him with lust. One man took place behind him and pinched his nipples hard until it became red. Two other men started to lick his red nipples and bitted it until it bled. The man who was behind him grabbed Seifer’s cock and rubbed it hard. He was in pain. He didn’t cry but he was suffering so much that he was hoping to die quickly. The humiliation was the worst thing that he could endure. He couldn’t defend himself…the sorceress did something to his body. He was weak…he would have never let this happen if he had been in his normal state…_

_“ **Don’t cry.** ”_

_The man who entered him with the cold thing stopped and rubbed his cock in front of Seifer’s bleeding hole. He put it in suddenly and made him shout so hard that his voice resounded in all the room. He moved in and out roughly, he took Seifer’s hair with his hand and forced him to look at his defloration._

_“You seem to be a virgin…what a good tight ass you have, boy!” he said with a cruel voice._

_Seifer closed his eyes and tried so hard to endure the pain without crying…he felt his inside burning, his nipples were biting and his cock was rubbed roughly. The man went slowly, still rammed him. The guy behind him entered him too. He had two cocks in his ass. The pain was too hard to handle and Seifer cried…His body was moving, without he could do anything. The two who entered him went harder and faster. There were four men on his body, when a fifth came near of him and introduced something long and thin in Seifer’s cock. It was a metal rod. He put the rod on the top of Seifer’s cock and entered it in the little hole, he pushed it deeper until it was completely inside. Seifer was shaking. His cock was dripping with his pre-come. It was so painful. Seifer’s expression was mixed with pain, humiliation and disgust. The man continued to play with his cock, removing and pushing again the rod inside. Seifer wept and shouted. The pain was intolerable. He saw blood mixed with his semen dripping out of his hard penis. A sixth man grabbed and pressed hard Seifer’s testicles with his hand._

_“So good…” moaned one the rapist._

_“What a slut!” said another._

_The two men who were raping him came inside of his ass and let their place for two other men. Seifer fainted. He was raped like this during several minutes, maybe hours…each part of his body hurt. He was bleeding everywhere. When they finished to satisfy themselves, the men continued to beat him with their wrists, their feet or with their guns. Seifer was covered by bruises, injuries, blood and semen. He felt disgusting, dirty…_

_The sorceress went near of him. “The next time will be worse than that if you betray me again. Understood?”_

_Seifer couldn’t answer. He had no voice. He shouted so much…She grabbed his hair and forced him to look at her. “Understood?” she repeated._

_“Y..es..My…L..a..dy.” he muttered._

“So…it wasn’t the first time…” said Kiros.

Edea hid her face in her hands. “I hurt him so much…” Cid took her in his arms. “It wasn’t you Darling, don’t blame yourself…”

 

Pictures changed again. _It was a recent scene this time, in Esthar when the soldiers rapped him in his cell._

_“Well, well…this is our sorceress’s knight…”_

_“What do you want?”_

_“SHUT UP TRAITOR!”_

_“Did you really think that it would be so easy? Waiting peacefully in your cell to be judged? After all what you did?”_

_“Fuck…you…”_

_“Yes…that’s we’re gonna do to you…we’re gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll beg us to stop…”_

_“Fuck you…son of bitch…”_

_“Break his leg. Maybe he’ll stop to struggle…put him on his back.”_

_“FUCK…YOU!!!”_

_“What a sissy…”_

_“Don’t knock him. I want him conscious…strip him.”_

_“What a nice view…you have a pretty nice body for a traitor…” “Give me the stick.”_

 “ _God…just kill me right now…_ ”

**_“Be strong. You’ve handled worse.”_ **

****

_“AAAAHHH…. St..op it..bas..tard…”_

_“You’re tight…don’t worry bitch…you’re gonna love it soon…”_

_“Alright…I think you’re ready now for something else…”_

_“Ah…still tight…”_

_“Damn! What a slut! You’re like it! Look how hard you are…”_

_“I prefer…the…stick…i..can’t..feel anything with..a..small dick..like yours…”_

_“Little slut! You’re talking but you like it…” “Beg bitch…beg me to stop…”_

_“You better shut up bitch if you don’t want to die…”_

_“Don’t faint bitch…we haven’t finished yet…”_

_“Come slut! Show me you like it!”_

 “Slut!”

 

 “ _My knight…what a disgrace…look at yourself…you’re alone again now…nobody will love you anymore…_ ”

“ _Fucking bitch…it’s your fault…I should have never followed you…_ ”

“ _You’re a traitor…you betrayed your friends to follow me, and you betrayed me…you’re not a hero, and you weren’t my protector…you’re worthless…that’s what you deserve…you’re alone._ ”

“ _No…she’s waiting for me, she needs me…_ ”

“ _Because she didn’t know who you were…but do you really think that she would still trust you after hearing all your crimes?_ ”

“ _Yes…_ ”

“ _She doesn’t need you…nobody needs you…you’re worthless…_ ”

_“Hey…princess is finally awake…”_

_“You can take two cocks…you’re gonna love it…”_

_“OH MY GOD!!!”_

_“STOP IT!! ARE YOU CRAZY??”_

_“LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!!! BASTARDS!!!”_

_“Enough…I can’t anymore…”_

**_“Be strong. Don’t give up.”_ **

_“What for?”_

**_“I know it’s hard.”_ **

_“It would never end…”_

**_“Don’t say that…”_ **

_“She’s still here…she always comes back to haunt me…she recalls me what she did to me…I can’t. I don’t want to remember…”_

Another scene switched _. It was when Seifer captured Linoa after he had been defeated again by Squall and the others. He forced Linoa to follow him._

_“Seifer…please…let me go.” Begged Linoa._

_“Linoa…”_

**_“Don’t do it. You can’t…”_ **

_“Do it My Knight.”_

**_“Don’t listen to her…Linoa was your girlfriend…you can’t do it. Let her go.”_ **

_“Do it. Time Kompression will start soon. Do it My Knight.”_

_“Seifer…please…”begged again Linoa._

_Seifer closed his eyes. “My head hurts…I can’t…control myself…”_

**_“Don’t!”_ **

_Seifer gave Linoa to Adel._

_“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” shouted Linoa._

_Seifer recovered his mind. “LINOA!”_

**_“Do something.”_ **

_“But…what?”_

**_“Anything. She’s gonna die.”_ **

_“Look…Squall is here…he’s gonna save her…”_

**_“Do something. They can’t fight Adel and save Linoa on the same time…do something!”_ **

_Squall and the others started to fight the sorceress._

_“Adel…she sucks out Linoa’s energy…”_

**_“Give her some strength.”_ **

_“Huh?”_

**_“She needs it to stay alive. Cure spells won’t keep her alive indefinitely.”_ **

_“You’re right…”_

_Seifer held his hand and gave her all his strength and magic he had. He collapsed, exhausted, on the ground._

_“Fo..rgive..me Linoa…it’s all...I…have…”_

_When Seifer opened his eyes, he was in dark place. He stood up and looked around._

_“Where…I am?”_

_But his conscience didn’t answer him._

_“Huh…you left me too? I suppose I’m dead now…even my own conscience doesn’t talk to me anymore…”_

_He walked without still knowing where he was, when he felt a familiar presence._

_“Welkome to my world My Knight.”_

_He turned his back and saw Ultimecia._

_“So…that’s your real form?”_

_“Yes. Do you like it?”_

_He laughed. “You’re ugly…”_

_She smirked. “So arrogant My knight…”_

_“I’m dead now…how could it be worse? What do you intend to do?”_

_“You’re not dead yet…you’re in my Kastle. Your friends too.”_

_“Squall? “_

_“Yes…Adel died but this stupid woman is still alive…because of you…”_

_“Linoa…is alive?”_

_“Yes…but Time Kompression has kome. Nothing kan stop it now.”_

_She approached to him, laughing.  She grabbed Seifer by the throat._

_“You’re so worthless…”_

_Seifer struggled and let Hyperion fall on the ground. “You’re…gonna…ki..ll..me?”_

_“Of course. You and your precious friends will die soon…but I’ve got something special for you…”_

_Seifer began to pant._

_“There’s someone I want you to meet…”_

_She dragged him by his hair inside of her Kastle and threw him on the ground. Seifer raised his head and saw a giant creature facing him._

_“Ifrit?”_

_“No My Knight. It’s my g-force. Kronos.”_

_“Kronos…?”_

_“Yes. He’s gonna play with you…”_

_The creature grabbed Seifer by the head and threw him away, against the wall behind them. He felt some of his bones cracked with the impact._

_”He’s gonna kill me…”_

_Ultimecia was already near of him. “I know how to torture you My Knight…you do not fear pain…but you’re afraid about sex…”_

_Seifer gasped. He was shaking. “No...not again…”_

_“I know how afraid you were when you were raped…you hated that so much…you felt disgusting, dirty…disgraced…you couldn’t support to see you so weak…”_

_Seifer tried to run away but his body didn’t respond. “No…please…”_

_“Look at yourself…you’re shaking.”_

_He panicked. He didn’t want to be hurt like this again…”Just kill me please…don’t…”_

_She continued to approach to him with Kronos behind her. “I’ve already made the whole Galbadia army rape you…I’ve infected your body and your mind… but it was never enough to force you to obey me…”_

_“Please…My Lady…”_

_“Your death will be long and painful…you’re gonna suffer until your last breath…”_

_Kronos grabbed Seifer by his trench coat and ripped his clothes with his claws. His pale skin was already bleeding because of the scratches._

_“NO...Not this…” thought Seifer._

_The creature threw him against the wall and went immediately in front of him. Kronos roared at Seifer’s face. The young man was terrified; he was too scared to scream. His naked and bloody body was trembling. He cried…”No…no…no…”_

_Kronos clutched Seifer’s throat and strangled him hard. With his other hand, the monster spread Seifer's legs and fisted him roughly. The boy screamed so loudly that he broke his voice._

_“AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO! PLEASE! PLEASE!”_

_The creature pushed his wrist then his arm deeper inside of him. His claws ripped his prostate and his stomach so hard that the blood was pouring out along his legs. The monster removed his arm and entered it again, rubbing roughly his inside with his large limb. Seifer begged, cried, shouted…but it was useless…he had lost so much blood...he gasped again. He couldn’t breathe because of the pain and the lack of air…he knew he would die soon when Kronos let him go. Seifer fell on the ground. The monster pulled his hair and threw him on his back. He blocked the boy with his wrists and tore Seifer’s arms off from his body. The pain was intolerable…Seifer shouted and shouted again, imploring the sorceress to kill him…”AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! “_

_“PLEASE!! PLEASE…PLEASE…KILL ME…”_

_He closed his eyes. He couldn’t endure it anymore…he felt the claws scratching his chest. In the same time the monster penetrated him with his long and large organ. Seifer yelled in desperation…too much…it was too much…his mutilated body couldn’t bear with it anymore…he felt so disgusted that he started to vomit…_

“GOD!! It can’t be true…” Said Laguna with fear.

Zell looked away in disgust when he saw Seifer was shaking on the table. “Seifer?”

The poor man was forced to remember painful memories…he began to vomit even if he was still asleep. Zell stood up quickly and went to his side. “STOP IT! HE CAN’T ENDURE IT!” yelled Zell to Geyser.

The doctor stopped the experience and joined the group. Zell caressed his hair. “Seifer? Do you hear me? It’s Zell…open your eyes…”

Seifer woke up and puked violently. He was trembling so hard he couldn’t understand where he was. “STOP…PLEASE…” he yelled.

Zell took him in his arms, Seifer’s back against his chest. “It’s okay Seifer…you’re safe…”

But Seifer continued to vomit on the ground. He couldn’t calm down. “PLEASE…JUST KILL ME…”

Zell grabbed his face with his hands and forced him to fix in his eyes. “Seifer! Look at me! It’s over…you’re safe now…calm down…okay?”

Seifer blinked and breathed heavily. “Zell?”

“Yes. Calm down…it’s okay now…breathe slowly…” said softly Zell with kindness, wiping his tears. “You need to relax and sleep…I’m gonna take you to bed…”

But Seifer struggled. “NO…I don’t wanna sleep! She’s gonna come again…”

Zell caressed his hair. “No Seifer…she’s dead…she won’t come back…I’ll stay with you, okay? Don’t worry…you’re safe now…please calm down…”

Seifer held him tightly by his waist. Zell hugged him and kissed his forehead. He was shaking and sweating. He looked at Squall and Geyser angrily. “Satisfied?” Asked Zell.

Squall didn’t answer. Everyone was quiet and felt ashamed forcing Seifer to remember these horrible memories. Edea cried in Cid’s arms…like Fujin who was hiding her face with her hand.

“Let’s go to the infirmary.” Said Laguna looking at Zell.

Zell nodded and carried Seifer with Laguna, wrapping their arms around his waist and his shoulders. Seifer walked with difficulties but he was too shocked to understand what happened to him. Kiros and Quistis followed them.

Fujin, Raijin, Edea, Cid, Irvine, Squall and Selphie were still in the laboratory with Geyser.

“We shouldn’t have done this…” said sadly Edea.

“It was necessary Matron…” replied Squall.

 “God…poor Seifer…” added Selphie.

Raijin kicked violently a chair with his foot, in anger. “FUCK!” he yelled.

Fujin was till crying silently. She didn’t look the others. She was still shocked.

“He was a victim too…he probably suffered more than everyone…but nobody knew…” Said Irvine.

“Yeah…he was considered as a traitor…he never deserved it…” Added Cid.


	14. Time to leave

Seifer returned at the infirmary. He was sleeping in his bed. Zell was by his side, lying close to him, wrapping his arm around his waist. He looked at him with sadness, caressing his cheek tenderly.

“ _Fucking bitch!_ ” Zell thought about Ultimecia. The sorceress hurt too many people so badly…even her own knight. Seifer had never known where to go, who to follow. He didn’t have his place at the Garden or with “her”…he just made the wrong choice, as always.

 He felt tears on his own eyes. He couldn’t stop crying…thinking about the one he used to hate so much.

“Why are you crying?” asked Seifer with closed eyes.

Zell felt embarrassed. “Did…I awake you?”

Seifer kept silent, still closing his eyes, but finally answered: “I…heard you crying.”

Zell was wipping his tears with his wrist. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t.”

They stayed quiet when Seifer opened his eyes and looked at him. “Why are you crying?” He asked again.

Zell didn’t know how to answer…he knew  Seifer would think he pitied him…but he didn’t want to lie…

“For you…”

“Huh?”

“I’m crying…for you…” added Zell, blushing.

“Why? Do I look so pitiful?” replied Seifer with an annoyed voice.

“No…it’s just…too hard to explain now…” said Zell.

Seifer sighted. “Could you be more explicit please? I’m not in your damn head Chicken!”

Zell laughed.

“Don’t make that look.” Said Seifer abruptly.

“What?”

“You pitying look. I hate it. I don’t need this.” Added Seifer.

“I don’t pity you Seifer…I’ve just realized something…”

“What?”

Zell smiled. “I just can’t hate you anymore…even if you insult me or make fun of me…I can’t…”

Seifer smirked. “God…I would never have imagined you could be so “girly” Chicken!”

“Maybe…”

Seifer felt strange. He couldn’t understand Zell’s attitude. He used to be so impulsive…

“So…what happened to me?” asked Seifer.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why I was with all of you, lately? Where I was? “ asked Seifer seriously.

“You were on Geyser’s laboratory.”

“Geyser?...Why?”

“He just wanted to check your mind to know if Ultimecia was still in you…”

Seifer became nervous.

“And?”

Zell looked at him. “Don’t you remember what happened?”

Seifer became angry. “That’s why I’m asking you, dumbass!”

Zell blushed. “I’m sorry…”

Seifer felt ashamed. Zell was nice with him. He comforted him. Seifer thought he made a nightmare and Zell stayed by his side to calm him…Plus, he took care of Lulu…Lulu…he forgot her.

“Where’s Lulu?”

“She’s in the Palace. You collapsed so she couldn’t see you…”

“The bird…” said Seifer, thinking.

“Huh?”

“I repaired the bird. Where’s he?” asked Seifer.

“Oh…Irvine brought him in his cage. I think he already gave him to Lulu…”

“Good…” replied Seifer relieved.

Zell stoop up. “I’m gonna look for her. She missed you…”

“Yeah…I missed her too…was she nice with you?” asked Seifer.

“Yes. She’s adorable. Everyone loves her…but she kept asking about you…she loves you so much.”

Seifer sighted with a sad smile. “Thanks…”

Zell smiled and put his hand on Seifer’s shoulder. “ You know…Edea felt Lulu had a sensitive power…she seems to be able to read people’s emotions…”

“Yes…her grandmother told me that, but I thought it was just a sixth sense or something…I never imagined it could be a power…” replied Seifer.

“She’s pretty good at this. She hates Squall…” said Zell.

“Yeah…that’s why I love her so much…” replied Seifer laughing.

Zell smiled. “ She was right…”

“About what? Hating Squall?”

“Not just that…she was right about my feelings…I understand now…”

Seifer frowned his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

Zell shook his head. “Nothing important. I’m gonna come back with her quickly…wait here.”

“It’s not like I could leave Chicken…”

“Yes…sorry…” Zell started to leave when Seifer called him.

“Zell?”

“Yes?”

“I’m…sorry. I was mean with you earlier…I don’t really understand why you were crying…but I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Said Seifer blushing.

“I should be the one to be sorry Seifer, you didn’t do anything wrong…but thank you.” Zell smiled and left.

Seifer lay on his bed and closed his eyes. He didn’t remember what happened…Zell just said he collapsed, but nothing else. Seifer just remembered he had a nightmare…a painful memory when he was raped by this monster…thinking about this made him sick and disgusted, he restrained himself to not puke again.

The door opened.

“Vivi?”

Seifer looked at the little girl with happiness. “Lulu!”

The kid ran toward him and jumped on his bed to hold him. Chickie who was in her shoulder flew and returned to Lulu above her head.

“Ouch!”

Lulu felt worried, letting him go. “Are you hurt? What happened?”

Seifer smiled and held her in his arms. “It’s okay sweetie…don’t worry. I’m so happy to see you again.”

She smiled sadly. “I’m happy too…I was so worried…”

Seifer put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “I know. I’m sorry…” She grabbed Seifer’s hands with hers. “You seem to be thinner…did you eat properly?”

Zell who was at the door approached. “ She didn’t sleep and eat since you’ve been arrested…I’ve tried so hard to convince her but she’s stubborn…like her father…”

Seifer fixed her angrily. “Lulu!”

“I’m sorry…but I was so worried, I missed you…and…”

Seifer kissed her cheek. “It’s okay…I’m not mad…it’s my fault after all…”

“Vivi…don’t be sad…”

“Forgive me, Lulu…I’m sorry…” said Seifer.

Lulu put her head on his chest, she was holding his arms around her. “Vivi suffers…” she closed her eyes and started to fall asleep.

He caressed her hair tenderly. Zell looked at them. “She’s tired…she probably feels safe in your arms…” Seifer smiled looking at her. Chickie was singing, still above her head.

“I’ll be outside if you need me.” Said Zell leaving the room.

 Seifer nodded and stared at Lulu who was already asleep. “My poor Lulu…you’re exhausted.”

Zell walked in the corridor. He couldn’t stop thinking about Seifer…He hoped after what they saw, Squall and Laguna would let him go…even if he knew Laguna wasn’t hard to convince. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard voices on the left hallway.

“Squall, you can’t be serious!” It was Laguna.

“I’m. It’s the best solution.” Replied Squall with a cold voice. “He’ll be safe here.”

“But you saw how he suffered when Geyser forced him to remember…we can’t do this to him again…”

“She’s still in his mind.”

“She’s dead Squall. Seifer is not a threat for us.”

“That’s what you say, but we don’t know how he would react if she still haunts him. He could be dangerous, and I don’t wanna take this risk to let her come back.”

“You…hate him that much?” Asked Laguna.

“What are you talking about?”

“You hate Seifer, Squall. You just want to take your revenge because of what he did to Linoa…”

“Dad, you’re wrong…”

“No…you hate him. Don’t you think he had suffered enough?”

“If I really hated him that much, I would send him to Galbadia or Balamb for trial!”

“Oh! That’s so nice of you Squall! You’re right! Keeping locked in his cell for Geyser’s experiences for the rest of his life is the better fate he could wish!” replied Laguna sarcastically.

Zell blinked. “ _No…they won’t do that?_ ” he thought.

“I know it’s hard but he’s still too dangerous. You know it. Geyser will help him to release himself from Ultimecia.”

“Or he will help her to come back again. Don’t you remember what he did to Ellone?”

“You’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Squall…we can’t do that. It’s unfair for Seifer…and he has a daughter. You’ll be a father soon, you should understand…”

“DAD! Stop thinking with your heart! You’re Esthar’s President. Take your responsibilities! You can’t let him go, knowing that Ultimecia could use him to come back because you feel sorry for him. I know…I’m rude but I just try to do what is right for everyone, even for Seifer.” Replied Squall angrily.

Laguna stayed quiet for few minutes before answering: “Would you do the same…if it had been Linoa?”

Squall didn’t answer and left. Laguna was alone, scratching his head and left too after sighting. Zell looked at the window in front of him. “ _They can’t…Seifer’s gonna stay here forever…it can’t be true…_ ” He walked on the infirmary, looking at outside, and he suddenly saw the airship came back. The Ragnarok alighted on the tarmac. Five soldiers left the aircraft and walked toward a car. There were still four soldiers near to the ship. “ _I won’t let this happen. I’ve made a promise to Lulu._ ” he thought.

Zell ran quickly and entered in Seifer’s room. He was nervous.

“Zell? What’s wrong?” asked Seifer. Lulu was still in his arms but she woke up when she heard Zell come back.

“Can you walk?” asked Zell to Seifer.

“Yes, I think so…but why?”

“No time to explain. Let’s go.”

“Zell! What’s going on?”

“Seifer, please! Trust me. Let’s go. Hurry!”

Lulu and Seifer stood up quickly even if they were surprised and worried. But they did what Zell asked and followed him.

“Where are we going?” asked again Seifer.

Zell didn’t have the time to answer when the door opened. He saw Kiros, Laguna, Squall, Ward and Quistis.

“Zell? What’s wrong?” asked Quistis surprised.

Zell threw a magic spell to them: “ _Darkness!_ ” He turned his back and grabbed Seifer’s hand: “RUN! HURRY!”

“But…Zell! What…”tried to said Seifer who was shocked by what Zell did.

“I SAID RUN!”yelled Zell again.

They ran into the corridor. Seifer grabbed Lulu’s hand and followed Zell even if he didn’t understand what happened. They were still running when the alarm resounded. Soldiers were everywhere. When Zell, Seifer and Lulu encountered them, Zell threw magic spells to stop them. They arrived quickly behind the palace, outside, on the tarmac.

“Where are we going?” asked Seifer.

“To the airship! Follow me.” Replied Zell.

The guards saw them and recognized Seifer. They pointed their guns toward them, but Zell summoned Ifrit and neutralized them.

“Let’s go! Hurry!” shouted Zell.

They moved into the Ragnarok and Zell took place in the cockpit. He turned on the motors and looked at Seifer and Lulu. “Sit down. We’re gonna take off.”

“Zell…what are you doing? What’s going on?” asked again Seifer.

“Not now Seifer! Please. Go to sit.”

Lulu grabbed Seifer’s hand. “Trust Zelly, Vivi.”

Seifer nodded and sat with the little girl and her bird.

Zell looked at the window and saw soldiers with their guns. The ship was leaving the tarmac, crossing the landing runway. The aircraft took off in the air quickly and disappeared in the sky. Zell looked at the map on the screen and entered geographic coordinates. He deactivated the location system to avoid to be spotted.

Seifer sat on his left side. Lulu was behind them with her bird on her shoulder.

“Zell! Answer me! What was it? Why did we run away?” asked Seifer.

Zell opened his mouth to speak when somebody called on at the radio.

“ _Zell? Zell? Can you hear me? Zell?_ ” it was Squall.

Zell pressed the button of the radio and replied: “Yes? What do you want Squall?”

“ _Zell! What’s wrong with you? What did you do this to us?_ ”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I didn’t get brainwashed by Seifer if it’s what you’re thinking! I’ve decided this alone. I heard you talking with Laguna on the corridor…you had no intention to let him go…”

“ _Zell, please…listen…”_

“NO! You’re the one who’s gonna listen Squall! Seifer didn’t do anything wrong and you saw it! He made mistakes, yes…but he paid enough for it. More than everyone! He has the right to be free, to be happy…but you don’t care…YOU DON’T FUCKING CARE!”

“ _Zell…it’s not what you think…_ ”

“You’re the worst Squall…you don’t care about breaking Lulu’s heart…you didn’t show a single sign of compassion for him…you’re not the friend I used to know…”

“ _Zell. I’m trying to do the best for him and for us. I’m acting with my head not with my heart…_ ”

“It depends on who is concerned.”

“ _Zell…you can’t run away for the rest of your life. Seifer is wanted everywhere…_ ”

“I won’t let you catch him. You will never find us…”

“ _What about you Zell? What about your life? About your job? About your mom, and your…friends? Are you gonna give up on everything just for him? I’m sure Seifer wouldn’t accept this even if It was your decision…please, come back…please Zell…it’s already hard to deal with it, don’t make it difficult more…_ ”

“You’re right…Seifer never asked me that, but…I did it on my own. I know…I’m gonna miss you, guys, but I’ve made my choice…and I chose him.”

“ _Zell…you’re my friend. Please, come back to Esthar…please…_ ”

“Squall, I’m sorry but I won’t come back. You are…you were my friend too…but I can’t let you do this to him. I told you: I’ve had to choose between you and him, and I chose Seifer. I should have done this a long time ago…maybe nothing would have happened…I’m sorry Squall, but I can’t come back…”

“ _Zell…_ ”

“This conversation is over. Goodbye Squall.”

Zell turned off the radio and fixed the horizon. Seifer kept silent. He didn’t understand what happened…he had so many questions to ask but he understood it wasn’t the time for it.

“Where…are we going now?” asked Seifer.

“A place where nobody could find us.”


	15. Time to confess

The airship flew above the ocean. Seifer looked at the porthole. Lulu was lying on a seat, her little head on Seifer’s lap. Chickie was in her arms. Seifer looked at Zell who was piloting the ship. He couldn’t stop thinking about he said to Squall on the radio…” _I chose him…I chose Seifer..._ ” Why? What was he talking about? He chose him…what did it mean? It wasn’t like Seifer asked him something…except taking care about Lulu…Squall had already decided what he would do with him, but Zell seemed to refuse it. He couldn’t understand why…why Zell was so nice with him? Did he forget all things Seifer did to him? Why did he take so many risks for him? Why did he turn his back to his friends for him? For Seifer Almasy…the ex-sorceress’s knight…his eternal bully…why…WHY?

Zell faced briefly Seifer: “It’s here.”

The ship settled on the ocean, in the middle of nowhere. Zell stood up. Lulu woke up. They went out of the aircraft. They were on a platform, probably abandoned, because trees and vegetation covered the entire site.

“Where are we?” asked Seifer.

“Deep Sea research Center. It’s a mobile research facility abandoned in the remotest part of the ocean. We came here with Squall to seek Bahamut. There are several underground passages but don’t worry, there’re not dangerous monsters here anymore, just weak ones…we’re safe here. Nobody will look for us in this place.” Replied Zell.

Lulu and Seifer watched him quietly.

“The Ragnarok has a cover-up system. It can become invisible. I deactivated the location system so nobody will find us here.” Explained Zell. “Plus there’s enough food in the ship for the three of us for two months, so we can stay here as long as we wish.”

“Yeees!!! Zelly is so cool!!” said Lulu in joy. She jumped in his arms. “Zelly kept his promise. He brought Vivi back to me!!”

Zell smiled and kept her in his arms. He caressed her hair and she kissed him before returning to Seifer and grabbed his hand. “Vivi’s back!”

Seifer touched her cheek tenderly and smiled. “Yes…” He fixed Zell in the eyes. “Why did you do this?”

“I promised Lulu to bring you back to her and set you free.” Replied Zell.

Seifer kept the same suspicious expression. “It’s not the only reason…tell me.”

“Later.”

“No! I need to know RIGHT NOW!” asked Seifer with anger.

“I SAID LATER!” replied Zell annoyed. He faced Seifer showing Lulu with the corner of his eye, as if he wanted to say “ _Not in front of her…”_

Seifer understood and stayed quiet.

“Don’t argue…please…I don’t wanna see you getting mad…” said Lulu with a worried voice.

Seifer reassured her immediately. “It’s okay Lulu…we won’t. I’ll talk with Zell later…I’m not mad.”

“Me neither. We won’t fight, I promise. It’s already late. We need to rest. I’m gonna look for something to eat.” Added Zell.

Seifer stayed with Lulu when Zell left to return into the Ragnarok. They started to walk into the center to explore. “I didn’t know this place.”

“I like it. We’re in the middle of the sea. Could we go to swim?” asked Lulu.

“Sure, but not today. Tomorrow if you want?” replied Seifer.

“Yes!! I’m sure Chickie likes the place too. He can hide in the trees and makes a nest…maybe he could make some friends too?” she said with her innocent look.

Seifer smiled. “He just needs you…but why not?”

They arrived in a first room. Unusable and destroyed machines, used and torn books everywhere…the place seemed to be abandoned a long time ago. Zell joined them.

“I know it’s not wonderful but it’s safe here…it’s just temporary. There’s nothing really interesting here…just some old machines…but we can use the generator to have power supply. We’re gonna sleep in the airship tonight. Wanna eat something?” Told Zell.

“Yes! I’m hungry!” yelled Lulu.

“Come ‘on! It’s better outside, we can see the sunset over the ocean.” Added Zell.

“Yeah! Let’s go! Let’s go!” replied with joy Lulu who ran outside grabbing Seifer and Zell’s hands.

 

 

* * *

Linoa arrived in Esthar with the train at the end of the afternoon. Selphie and Irvine came to pick her up at the station.

“Lin! We’re here!” yelled Selphie, waving her arms in the air.

Linoa walked into them smiling. “Hi Guys! Long time no see. How are you?”

“Good. What about you?” asked Irvine.

“Fine. I was with my father in Deling City but Squall seemed to be preoccupied when I called him so I came here. What’s wrong?” Asked Linoa.

“We’re gonna explain you everything. Let’s go to the car. We’ll talk during the route. “Said Selphie.

They told her about Seifer: his new life, Lulu, his past, Ultimecia, Geyser’s experience, and Zell. She was surprised and shocked.

“God…what an incredible story…I would never have imagined that from Seifer…” said Linoa.

“I know. We thought the same but we were wrong all this time about him…” Told Selphie with sadness.

“What about Zell? Why did he run away with them?” asked Linoa.

“We don’t know. Zell took care of Lulu after Seifer has been arrested…but when I think about it, he seemed to be more affected by Seifer’s distress than us…” explained Irvine.

“Yes, it’s true. I’ve never seen Zell crying before but…” added Selphie.

“Zell cried…for Seifer?” asked Linoa with big eyes. 

 “Yes…Matron, Quistis, Fujin and I cried for him too…but it was really different for Zell. Irvine is right, he was more affected than us…Plus, Lulu was so close to him.” Said Selphie.

Linoa sighted. “I can’t believe that Squall did it. It seems out of his character to be so rude…I mean, I know he hates Seifer but after what you saw…he should had been more compassionate…poor little girl…I can’t imagine how hard it could be to see someone takes her father away from her…” Told Linoa.

“Yeah…everyone tried to convince him but he’s stubborn…I think he just wanted to protect you and your child but…Seifer is a father too…you’re the only one who can convince him.” Added Irvine.

“I will.”

 

 

* * *

After dinner, Seifer, Zell and Lulu returned in the Ragnarok. There were two bedrooms inside: One with a large bed and another with two single beds.

“You should take the main bedroom, with Lulu. I know you sleep with her. She’ll be safe at your side. I’m gonna take the other one.” Said Zell to Seifer.

They went into the bedroom and Lulu lay down on the large bed.

“Zelly?”

“Yes Lulu?”

“Are you gonna sleep with Vivi, Chickie and me?”

“Oh…no. I’m gonna sleep in the other room, but don’t worry, it’s just right next.”

“But…” The little girl seemed to be disappointed.

Seifer looked at her, lying down behind her and wrapping his arm around her little body. “Maybe Zell could stay with us until you fall asleep?”

“Yes…please Zelly?” asked Lulu. “I want Vivi and Zelly with me.”

Zell sighted. “Fine…fine.” He lay down in front of her smiling.

“Thank you Zelly.” She replied. She grabbed Seifer’s arm and wrapped herself up in the blanket.

“Goodnight sweetie.” Said Seifer kissing her cheek gently.

“Goodnight Vivi. Goodnight Zelly.” She replied.

“Godnight Lulu. Have sweet dreams.” Told Zell, caressing her hair.

“Yes. Goodnight Chickie.”

“Tweet…tweet…” The little bird stayed near to her and lay down on a shelf just above her head.

 Zell and Seifer looked into each other's eyes without saying a word. Zell was smiling but Seifer stayed distant as if he tried to read in Zell’s mind…

After an hour, Seifer asked with a low voice: “I think she’s asleep…can we talk together now?”          

“Sure…let’s go outside.” Replied Zell softly.

They left the room quietly without waking up the little girl who was tired, and went outside of the ship. They sat on the ground and looked at the ocean. They kept silent until Seifer asked: “Why?”

“Why what?” demanded Zell.

“Why did you bust me out of Esthar? Why did you run away with us?” he asked.

“Because…Squall didn’t want to release you. He wanted to keep you locked in Esthar in Geyser’s laboratory for his “experiences”…” started to explain Zell.

“Experiences?”

“Yes…he said Geyser would help you to release yourself from Ultimecia’s power…Squall seemed to abandon the idea to judge you but…it wasn’t a better fate…”

Seifer felt nervous. The sorceress talked to him in his head, yes, but he never told anybody about this… “I’m…not under Ultimecia’s power…”

Zell stayed quiet and felt suddenly sad. “I know…but you hear her voice in your head…she makes you suffer…”

 _“How does he know? Did I talk in my sleep?”_ thought Seifer. “You don’t know anything Chicken!”

“Yes…I do…”

“Really? What do you know then?” asked Seifer annoyed. “You can’t understand! YOU CAN’T!”

Zell fixed the ocean with a sad look. “When…you were in Geyser’s laboratory, he explored your mind…he pretended it was to look if there was some fragment about Ultimecia’s power in you…but…”

“BUT WHAT?”

“We were here, all of us…even Raijin, Fujin, Cid and Matron were there…We saw…your memories…we read your thoughts…we saw everything there was in your head…”

Seifer blinked. He started to understand…he felt embarrassed and nervous. “What…did you see?”

“Recent and old memories when we came to arrest you in Winhill…when you fought with Raijin and Fujin in Deling City…what happened…in your cell in Esthar…when you were with the sorceress and what…she did to you to punish you…” Zell’s voice was depressed and shy.

Seifer kept listening. He was ashamed. All of them saw him in disgraced situation…they saw him weak and defenseless…

“How could you…you didn’t have the right to do that to me…” said Seifer.

“I know…I’m sorry…”

Seifer tried to remember what happened in the laboratory. He recalled Zell’s face…he comforted him…the others were there too but…what did they see? Why did they do this? They didn’t have the right…He always hid his emotions deeper in his heart but everything was exposed to them…they explored his mind without asking his permission…it was as if he had been raped again…he felt so ashamed…

“You pity…me?” asked Seifer.

“No…listen…”replied Zell but Seifer yelled at him.

“SHUT UP CHICKEN! I DON’T NEED YOUR FUCKING PITY!” He got up furiously.

“I don’t pity you!” Tried to explain Zell but Seifer was so angry that he didn’t listening.

“You saw me…in such disgraced position…you and the others didn’t have the right to do this…IT’S MY LIFE! MY MIND!  HOW DARE YOU…” Seifer couldn’t control his anger. He grabbed Zell by the collar.

“Seifer, please…”

“You pity me…I can see in your eyes. I hate it! I HATE IT!” He released him and turned his back.

“Seifer, please listen! I don’t pity you...”

“I DON’T CARE! I DON’T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY! I’VE NEVER ASKED YOU TO HELP ME!”

“I didn’t help you because I pity you…”

“THEN WHY?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”

Seifer blinked and stopped moving and yelling. Zell stood up too and faced him.

“Because I love you…” repeated Zell.

Seifer started to think about what Zell said when he talked on the radio with Squall “ _I chose him…_ ” Maybe that was what he meant? Did he really love him? After all what he did to him? How could it be possible? Why? Why him?

“I…couldn’t handle it anymore…” said Zell. His voice was trembling.

“What?”

“To see…the one I love suffering…I couldn’t support it anymore…” He started to cry.

“ _Why are you crying again?”_ Thought Seifer “ _Do you even realize what you say?”_

“Zell…”

“You were…in pain…for so long…you suffered but…you never asked or said anything…you endured it alone…nobody had tried to understand you…nobody helped you…I felt pain in my heart each time I saw you suffer…I couldn’t stop crying…I was always thinking about you..”

Seifer approached and caressed his hair with his hand: “ _He’s crying for me…_ ” He thought.

“I’ve…always wanted to be your friend…since we met at the orphanage. I admired you so much…I wanted to become like you…but…I thought you hated me…” Zell was still crying, hiding his face with one of his hand.

Seifer listened to him carefully. He realized how much Zell cared about him.

 “When I had been adopted…I was so sad…I missed you…but I started to train. I wanted to become strong because I thought I would be worthy of being by your side…being your friend…but you always rejected me and made fun of me…”

“Zell…”

“I was disappointed…I’ve tried so hard to impress you…to become like you…but you were still taller, still stronger…than me…I couldn’t be your equal…so I started to hate you…I turned my back to you for Squall…but he didn’t care about me either…I thought I was worthless…”

“Zell…it’s not what you think…I didn’t want to…” But Zell didn’t let him finish.

“I know Seifer…when we explored your mind, I saw your memories…when you were a child…you were like me…a cry baby…but you had a million reasons to cry after what your parents did to you…I felt so sad seeing you in pain…”

“You…saw that too?”

“Yes…I saw your memories when we were at the orphanage…your kindness when I made nightmares…you came to my bed to comfort me…you were smiling at me when you thought I didn’t see you…”

“I was nasty with you…”

“Yes…but I know why you were like this with me…you didn’t want I suffer like you…you wanted I become stronger…I know…I’ve heard your thoughts too…”

Seifer blushed. “Oh…God…”

Zell looked at him with tears in his eyes. “I know…you were afraid to love, to be loved…because you thought you would suffer again…”

“Zell…please…stop it…” Seifer hid his face with his hand, he felt so embarrassed.

Zell took his hand and forced him to look at him. “Seifer…I’ve never wanted to give up on you…I just wanted to be by your side…I thought I didn’t deserve it because I was weak…but when I realized it was because you wanted to protect me…I was relieved.”

“I’m sorry…I thought It would be better for you…and for me either…”

“Don’t. I can’t blame you…you just wanted to not be hurt again…I understand…”

Seifer was sad. He told himself he didn’t want Zell’s love…but it was wrong…he didn’t want to suffer again but…he regretted to hurt him. They could have been friends…but lovers?

“Zell…Do you…really love me? I mean…friendship and love are two similar feelings and…”

“Seifer, I love you. I know the difference between love and friendship. I don’t look at you the same way as Irvine or Squall…it’s different. I Love you.”

Seifer blushed. He couldn’t respond…he liked Zell, he always felt some tenderness for him…but love? He never considered him like a potential boyfriend or lover…he never had been attracted by men…

Zell smiled. “I don’t expect anything from you, don’t worry…”

“What?”

“I mean…you never returned Fujin’s feelings…so you probably won’t return mine…”

“Why are you talking about Fujin?”

“I told you…I saw your memories…you said you knew she loved you but you pretended to ignore it…”

Seifer blushed again. “Huh…Is there anything you didn’t see in my mind?”

“Sorry…”

“Stop apologizing all the time.”

“Sorry…”

Seifer sighted looking at Zell, annoyed. Zell lifted his eyes.

“Anyway. I don’t expect anything. You’re definitely not gay…me neither…”

“You’re not gay but you love a man…” Said Seifer with sarcasm.

“I love you. I feel it just for you. I never have been attracted by men before…and I can’t imagine being with another man than you…”

“But…If you know it…”

“I just want to be by your side…as a friend.”

“Zell…Fujin did the same and I hurt her…”

“You did it for Raijin, I know it…but I’m not Fujin.”

Seifer couldn’t understand him. “ _Why do you love me Zell? Why?”_ he thought. 

“Zell…you turned your back to your life for someone like me…I can’t let you ruin your life for me…”

“Seifer, please. Let me just stay by your side. Your friendship will be enough…just let me stay with you and Lulu…”

“Zell…”

“I love you. I don’t wanna see you suffer anymore…I promise, I won’t bother you with my feelings…I just wanna be with you…”

“ _Bother me?_ ” Seifer thought. “ _How could you bother me when you love me? ”_

Seifer grabbed Zell’s face with his hands and kissed him. Zell kept his eyes wide open when he kissed him back wrapping his arms around Seifer’s waist. Zell closed his eyes and enjoyed this moment…the best kiss he ever received in his life.

“ _How could I resist him? He kept saying the same thing again and again” I love you”…he’s just too cute…_ ” Seifer thought.

 _“Oh_ _God…he’s kissing me…Seifer’s kissing me! What should I do? It’s…so damn good!_ ” Thought Zell.

The kiss was so chaste at the beginning but the desire grew up, Seifer opened his mouth and started to lick Zell’s soft lips. Zell moaned softly and let Seifer introduced his tongue on his mouth. Zell let him exploring his mouth, tasting his tongue with his own.

Seifer broke suddenly the kiss and looked at Zell: “Did..you like it?”

Zell blushed but smiled. “Definitely the best kiss I ever had in my life…”

Seifer laughed and caressed his cheek. “What a cute little chocobo you are Chicken!”

“Hey!” said Zell annoyed. Seifer laughed again, taking him in his arms. Zell stayed against his chest, his head on his shoulder. Seifer caressed his hair with his hand, whispering in his ear.

“Zell…you shouldn’t…”

“What? Loving you?”

“Why…do you love me so much?”

“Do I need a reason to love you? I told you…I don’t expect anything from you…”

“I’m not sure I could return your feelings, Zell. I still don’t know what I feel for you…but thanks for what you did for me…thank you for loving me…even if I don’t deserve it…”

“Don’t say that…you deserve it, better than anyone…but don’t force yourself with me…please…you don’t need to…”

“I want it. I’m not forcing myself. I’m just…afraid…”

“Afraid?”

“I don’t wanna hurt you…but I just need more time.”

Zell held him tightly. “I love you Seifer.”

Seifer wrapped his arms around Zell’s shoulders and kissed his cheek tenderly. “Thank you for loving me…”


	16. Time to listen

Seifer woke up early in the morning. Lulu was wrapped in his arms and Zell’s, who was facing him. He smiled, looking at them sleeping peacefully. He stood up softly without making any noise and left the room. The little bird followed him. He went outside. The sun rose over the sea, the light was bright.

Seifer sat on the platform covered with grass. He fixed the horizon with Chickie on his shoulder. He enjoyed the view even if he was a little cold…he didn’t know where time was it but he didn’t really care…in this place, time had stopped. He felt relieved to be far away from Esthar…but he was worried about Lulu and Zell. They couldn’t stay here forever: Lulu needed to go to school and to have a stable life…she was too young; and Zell…Zell was a seed. He worked so hard for this…he left his friends, his ma behind him without hesitating…for him. Seifer felt guilty. He closed his eyes.

“ _What have you done again My Knight?_ ”

“Fuck you…”

“ _You’re gonna hurt them.”_

“No, I won’t.”

“ _Don’t be silly. You know what would happen if they stay with you…”_

“I’ll protect them.”

“ _You couldn’t protect yourself…how could you take care of them?”_

“It was your fault!”

_“No My Knight. You were already a problem before knowing me…”_

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP BITCH!!!”

Seifer shook his head as if he could chase her away from his mind. She knew how to torture him. He held his head with his fists. He was shaking, when he felt arms wrapping his large shoulders. The little bird flew away in the air and returned to Seifer, standing on his lap. Zell was behind him, he could feel his breath on his neck.

“Calm down Seif…it’s okay…” Zell’s voice was soft and comforting.

“Zell…”

“It’s okay…breathe slowly…are you cold?” asked Zell.

Seifer smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “I feel better in your arms…” He grabbed Zell’s hands and pressed his back against his chest, looking at the sea.

Zell kissed his neck and caressed his hair gently. “Wanna tell me?”

Seifer put his head on his shoulder and caressed the little bird on his lap. “She was talking to me…”

Zell could feel Seifer’s sadness in his words. "What did she say?”

Seifer sighted. “She told me that I would hurt you and Lulu if you stayed with me…”

Zell held tightly him in his strong arms. “Don’t listen to her.”

“She’s right Zell. I’m gonna make you suffer…you already suffer now. You’re far away from your family, from your friends…”

“I’m where I want to be…with the one I love.”

“Zell…”

“Seifer, please! Stop blaming yourself. You never asked me to do it.”

“But…”

“Enough! How could you believe her after what she did to you?”

“I hate her…but sometimes she was right…”

Zell felt suddenly worried and nervous. He was afraid that Seifer would be still under her control. “Right about what?”

“About me…about what I am…”

“I don’t understand…”

“I don’t wanna talk about that…I’m tired…”

Zell was disappointed. He hoped Seifer could open his heart to him, talking about his fears and his thoughts but it was maybe too hard for him…maybe he needed more time?

“Lulu’s still asleep?” asked Seifer.

“Yeah…you wanna return to bed?” said Zell.

“Yes. It’s better…she would feel relieved if we are with her when she’ll wake up.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Zell got up. He started to walk when Seifer held him by the waist and kissed his neck. “Seif?”

“Thank you.” Whispered Seifer.

“What for?”

“For staying with me.”

Zell faced him. His smile warmed Seifer’s heart. He forgot everything just looking at his beautiful blue eyes. After all these years, Zell was still the same…still this innocent child. He kissed him tenderly, pressing his small body against him. He felt his hands wrapped around his neck. Closing his eyes, he opened his mouth, licking and tasting Zell’s tongue. “ _God…he tastes so good that I could eat him up_!” Thought Seifer. The pleasure grew up and they moaned, still kissing each other when Zell suddenly stopped and moved back. He blushed and looked down.

“What’s wrong?” asked Seifer.

“Nothing…we..should go back inside…” said Zell embarrassed.

“Oh…okay.”

They walked keeping silent into the airship and went to the room.

“ _Did…I do something wrong?_ ” asked Seifer to himself. “ _He felt suddenly embarrassed…maybe I disgust him? I mean…he saw me when I was raped…yeah…he probably finds me disgusting…”_

Zell closed his eyes, avoiding eye-contact with Seifer. “ _Damn! I was so horny…I hope he didn’t notice…he would think that I’m a pervert…but he’s so hot! I need to calm down! Don’t think about him…don’t think about him…”_ thought Zell trying desperately to hide his erection.

 

* * *

 

Linoa was waiting for Squall in the Presidential Palace. He wasn’t here when she arrived yesterday. He went to Balamb with Laguna.

“Hi! Did you sleep well?” asked Quistis who was behind her.

“Oh! Quistis! Hello. Sorry, I didn’t notice you were here…”

“It’s okay. Long time no see Linoa.”

“Yeah…I’m happy to see you again. I’m so happy for you and Laguna. Did you already choose a date for the wedding?”

“No…after all what happened lately, I didn’t have the time and the desire to think about it…”

“Yeah…you’re right.”

“I hope Seifer, Zell and Lulu are okay.”

“Me too…did you try to contact them?”

“Yes! Of course! We’ve tried all the day yesterday, and we keep trying but Zell doesn’t answer…he knows how to use the Ragnarok better than anybody after Selphie…he deactivated the location system and we didn’t manage to find them…I’m so worried.”

“Yes. But, to be honest, I can’t understand why Zell did this. I mean…he hated Seifer so much before…”

“Zell was always so sensitive, he was already like this when he was a child…and when he saw what Seifer endured…he was probably sad and worried for him…”

“But I never imagined he could go so far for him…there wasn’t even friendship between them…”

Quistis smiled. “I think it’s more than friendship between these two now…”

Linoa looked surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Zell said he chose Seifer. Would you go so far, turning your back to your friends, to your family and to your life, just for a friend?” Asked Quistis.

“You mean…Zell loves Seifer?” demanded Linoa with embarrassment.

“Definitely.” Replied Quistis without hesitation.

Linoa sat on her chair and looked the ground in shock. “God…I would never have suspected that…but do you think Seifer loves Zell too?”

“Maybe...In his memories, Seifer seemed to care about Zell, more than anybody…and when Squall came to Winhill to arrest him, he asked Zell to take care of Lulu…he could have asked to Selphie but he asked to Zell…”

“But…when I was with Seifer, he wasn’t…gay.” Replied Linoa.

“Zell neither. I never saw him with a man before, and he didn’t seem to be attracted by men…” told Quistis. “Anyway…I hope you’ll convince Squall…”

“I’ll do my best. I promise.” Said Linoa, smiling.

 

* * *

 

Lulu woke up. She looked for Chickie and smiled when she saw him above her head on her pillow.

“Tweet tweet…”sang the bird.

“Hi Chickie!” She said softly to not wake up Zell and Seifer. They were still asleep.

Lulu looked at them, turning her head on the right and on the left. She was so happy to be with them. She felt safe in their arms…it was as if the three of them were a family…Vivi was his father, that was true…but Zell was just Vivi’s friend, but Lulu loved him. She loved him because she felt the love he had for him, she knew Zelly would never hurt him…he took care of her when Vivi got arrested…he even cried for him. She didn’t know what happened but she could feel something terrible had hurt Vivi…physically and emotionally…nobody wanted to tell her…but she felt relieved to see Zelly took care of him. He comforted him…and she could feel that Zelly’s presence helped him.

Seifer opened his eyes and saw Lulu who was fixing him with a big smile. “Hi sweetie! Did you sleep well?” He asked softly to not wake up Zell.

Lulu nodded. “I always sleep well when Vivi is with me.” She said with a low voice.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “I love you Lulu. I missed you so much…”

“I missed you too Vivi…”

They looked each other, smiling and touching their faces. “Wanna eat something for breakfast? Zell seems to be tired. Let him sleep.”

“Yes…but I’m not hungry. I wanna wait for Zelly.”

“Okay…let’s go outside.”

They got up and left the room. Zell was exhausted and he didn’t hear them. They went outside. The sun was shining, and it was still cold.

“Are you cold?” asked Seifer.

“Hum…” replied Lulu who was trembling.

“Come in my arms.” Seifer gave her his jacket, grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her little body.  “Feel better?”

“Yes.” She held his shoulders with her little arms. Seifer caressed her hair tenderly.

“Vivi?”

“Yes?”

“Zelly loves you, you know?”

Seifer blinked. “Did he tell you?”

“No. I’m not sure he knows what he feels for you.”

Seifer laughed. “So…you understood his feelings before himself?”

“Yes…when you were in jail, everyone was worried about you…but Zelly was more concerned…more sad and depressed than everyone…” she said.

“Really?”

“Yes…he was crying for you. He became angry against Mister Ice and yelled at him when he hurt you…”

“Mister Ice?” asked Seifer with a surprised look. “Who are you talking about?”

“The man with black hair and the scar on his face…”

“Oh…Squall. Why do you call him like that?”

“His heart is cold…like ice…” she replied.

Seifer laughed.

“Why are you laughing Vivi?”

“Ah…sweetie…you’re the most wonderful little girl I ever met in my life!” he replied.

“Thank you…but you didn’t answer me…”

“I’m laughing because you make me happy…you use the same words as me when you talk about Squall…I used to call him “the Ice Princess”…he became mad every time he heard this name…” Seifer was still laughing, with Lulu in his arms. She looked at him laughing too. Seifer suddenly became serious. “You know…you’re the first person I met who didn’t choose him…you chose me and you still love me even if all this world hates me so much…”

“Vivi…don’t be sad. You’re good. If everybody hates you, that means everybody is wrong. Zelly loves you too.” She said caressing his cheek.

“Zell told me he loved me yesterday…” admitted Seifer.

“And…what about you?” asked Lulu.

“Huh?”

“You love Zelly too…did you tell him?”

“No…I mean, I don’t know if I love him but…” Seifer tried to explain.

“Vivi loves Zelly.” She repeated.

Seifer blushed. “Lulu…don’t do the same thing you did with Zell. I like to be with him, it’s true, but I don’t know if I love him…” replied Seifer.

Lulu fixed him with a smile. “I don’t. Zelly didn’t know about his feelings for you…but Vivi knows but he refuses to admit…”

“I…don’t know what you’re talking about Lulu…” Seifer felt more and more embarrassed.

“You don’t want to love Zelly…You do the same thing you did with me when we met…” she said fixing him.

“What?”

“When I met you, you refused my love. You didn’t want to love me back…because you were scared. You do the same with Zelly now. You don’t want to love him but it’s too late…you’re already in love…” she explained.

Seifer blushed again and hid his face with one of his hand. “Lulu…you’re good to read people’s emotions but…you’re too young to understand what “love” is…”

“No…I mean, I’m young, but I know what “love” is…” she replied.

Seifer put her in the ground. “Sweetie…”

“Vivi, I love you, but I know Zelly and you love each other in another way…the same way as Mody and Popy loved each other too…” she said with melancholy.

“Lulu…” Seifer thought she was sad thinking about her grandparents.

“I’m not sad, don’t worry. I just remember some memories…” she reassured him with a smile. “Vivi…don’t be afraid about Zelly’s love. You can’t change your feelings…”

Seifer held her, keeping silent. She pressed her head on his shoulder. “Vivi deserves to be happy. I wanna see Vivi and Zelly happy together…I wanna stay with you two forever…”

He didn’t say anything, just kissing her cheek.

 

* * *

 

Squall and Laguna returned to Esthar. When they arrived in the Presidential Palace, Quistis and Linoa were waiting for them in Laguna’s office. They opened the door and Squall blinked with surprise when he saw Linoa.

“Lin? What are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” asked Squall.

“I was worried. You seemed to be preoccupied when you called me so I came to see what was wrong…” she replied, kissing him quickly.

Laguna went to Quistis and held her, kissing her too.

“They told me everything.” Said Linoa fixing Squall.

Squall felt nervous. Everyone already told him he was wrong, he didn’t need to hear that from his girlfriend too. “Lin…I’m tired. I don’t really want to talk about it now…”

“You think you’re gonna avoid the discussion with this lame excuse?” she replied sarcastically.

“If you think like the others do, you can keep your mouth closed, I don’t wanna hear it.” He said coldly turning his back to her.

“SQUALL!” yelled Linoa with anger.

“ENOUGH! I’ve already done everything what I could for Seifer! I convinced Galbadia, Trabia and Balamb authorities to abandon their charges against him. He won’t be judged. But I refused to let him free. Ultimecia could come back with him, and I won’t let this happen! UNDERSTOOD?” replied Squall with anger.

“Seifer doesn’t need to be jailed for this…” said Quistis.

“Geyser would cure him.” Answered Squall.

“He won’t and you know it. You don’t care about his mental health…” said Laguna.

“Whatever.”

“STOP IT WITH THAT!” yelled Linoa. “This is your answer for everything! You can’t do that to Seifer, he suffered enough…”

“I SUFFERED TOO! Don’t you remember what he did to us? Especially to you?” asked Squall.

“He never wanted to…”

“BUT HE DID LIN! HE DID!”

“Squall…please…” said Quistis.

“I know what he endured but I can’t…I’m sorry.” added Squall, exhausted.

“What about his daughter? She needs him…Zell too…” told Linoa.

“You’re talking about Zell? Fine! Let’s talk about him! He betrayed us for him. My Best friend! Seifer took him away from me, from all his friends and his own mother…How could you be so nice and understanding with him?” replied Squall.

“Don’t you understand Squall?” asked Quistis.

“What?” he said annoyed.

“Zell just listened to his heart…the same way you did when you saved Linoa.” Replied Quistis.

“I did it for love…”

“And Zell too.” Added Quistis.

Squall blinked and stopped moving. “What…are you talking about?”

“Zell loves Seifer, that’s why he protects him. You should have understood when he told you he chose him…” Said Quistis.

Squall laughed. “Don’t be silly Quistis! Zell and Seifer aren’t gay…”

“Zell was crying for him when we came to arrest Seifer in Winhill…he was the one who took care of Lulu…remember what you saw in Seifer’s memories, Squall…They hated each other for so long, yes, but…do you really think that Zell would take so many risks for someone he hates?” demanded Laguna.

“Zell just felt sorry for him…He was always too kind…” said Squall.

“Maybe…but if your best friend turned his back to you for Seifer, it’s probably for a good reason…” replied Laguna.

“I’ll ask him when I’ll find them. I’m tired…I need to rest.” Squall left the office without saying another word.

 

* * *

 

It was a raining afternoon. Seifer, Zell and Lulu stayed in the Ragnarok after lunch. Lulu was disappointed because she wanted to swim. But she was happy because Zell and Seifer were with her. She played with Chickie all the afternoon and fell asleep, at the end of the day. Seifer put her in the bed and covered her with the blanket. Chickie stayed by her side.

“Does she already sleep?” asked Zell who was in the other room, reading a magazine.

“Yes. She woke up early this morning.”

Seifer sat on the edge of the bed. They stayed quiet during few minutes when Seifer decided to break the silence. “Why did you reject me this morning?”

“Huh?” asked Zell with surprise. “I..didn’t reject you…”

“You pushed me away when I kissed you…”

“Oh…” Zell felt embarrassed. He avoided Seifer’s eyes. “ _Damn! What can I say?”_ he thought.   

Seifer looked down and fixed the ground. “Do I disgust you?”

“What?” asked Zell, blinking.

“I disgust you…that’s why you pushed me away…” said Seifer sadly.

“No…why should I find you disgusting? Why do you think that?” asked Zell approaching him.

Seifer clenched his fists. “You saw me…you saw what they did to me…”

Zell sighted. “ _Oh God…what I’ve done? I remember him some horrible memories…_ ” he thought. “Seifer…it’s not what you think…I don’t find you disgusting at all…”

“You don’t have to lie Zell…I understand. I disgust myself. I feel dirty all the time. I can’t blame you…” Answered Seifer.

Zell grabbed his hands and forced Seifer to face him. “I hate them for what they did…but you’re not disgusting…I love you Seifer.”

“Then…why did you reject me?” He asked with tears in the eyes.

Zell blushed and scratched his head before answering with a nervous voice: “I was…horny.”

Seifer blinked. “What?”

“Yes…I was afraid you would notice so…I broke the kiss before you realized…I was so embarrassed…I didn’t want you think that I was pervert or something like that…” said Zell hiding his face.

Seifer fixed him as if he wanted to check if Zell told him the truth. “Idiot!”

“What?”

“You’re an idiot Chicken!” repeated Seifer annoyed.

“But…”

“You should have told me! I was so worried all the day, wondering what I’ve done wrong…STUPID CHICKEN!” said Seifer, patting Zell behind his head.

“Ouch! That hurts!” complained Zell.

“You deserved it! Silly! What’s wrong with you?” 

“I told you, I didn’t want you think I was a pervert…I was horny with just a kiss…and It was the morning so…” started to explain Zell when Seifer kissed him passionately, rolling up his tongue around his.

“You’re talking too much Chicken!” said Seifer, releasing Zell’s mouth.

“Stop calling me like that!”

“I thought you couldn’t hate me anymore even if I insulted you or made fun of you?” asked Seifer smirking. “That’s what you said, don’t you?”

“I’m taking it back!” replied Zell.

Seifer grabbed his fists with his soft hands and kissed him on the neck. “Oh no Chicken! I won’t let you take it back!”

Zell fell on the bed with Seifer on the top of him. He was on his back and fixed the tall blond with a smile.

“You know…I’m pretty relieved you still can feel desire for me even after what you saw…” said Seifer caressing his cheek. “How could you have believed that I would think you were a pervert?”

Zell blushed. “I thought…maybe you wouldn’t do that…I was afraid to remember you some bad memories…”

Seifer smiled. “I can’t forget Zell. I won’t lie to you…when you confessed to me, I was scared…I’m not gay…and even if I have been raped so many times, it doesn’t mean that I ended to like it…”

“I know…I shouldn’t have confessed…” said Zell sadly.

“It’s not what I mean Zell…I was afraid to not be able to return your feelings because of what I’ve endured. I had sex with women before…but after Ultimecia, I was broken…sex meant pain for me…but when you told me that you loved me, I was happy. I’m happy now because I feel desire…and love…not fear and pain anymore…” Seifer was smiling. He touched Zell’s face gently.

“So…you love me?” asked Zell with a shy voice.

Seifer kissed him, whispering on his ear : “I do. I love you Zell.”


	17. Time for pleasure

The next morning, Seifer and Zell were sleeping with Lulu in the same large bed. They didn’t make love yesterday; they just shared kisses and hugs, nothing more. Sex wasn’t what they needed…even if it was tempting. They had desire for each other but maybe they weren’t ready yet…Seifer was still weak and afraid after all what he already endured, and Zell didn’t want to hurt him. It was strange for him to see this side of Seifer’s personality…he used to be so arrogant and proud…but he was actually just fragile and sensible. He needed to be comforted, to be loved; no one in his life ever had given him this chance. He wasn’t a bad guy at the beginning, but he became like that…he didn’t have the choice, he had to be stronger to survive and he did. There were so many things that Zell didn’t know about him. He probably wouldn’t have survived if he had been in Seifer’s place.

Zell woke up and left the room first, to go outside. It was still early but the sun already shined in the sky. He did his hair again because he couldn’t see anything. His hair fell in front of the eyes because of the lack of gel.

“Morning!”

Zell turned his back and saw Seifer who was staring at him. “Morning!”

Seifer approached and wrapped his arms around Zell’s waist, kissing him tenderly. “Hum…you’re gorgeous with your hair like this!”

“Really? I hate it. I can’t see anything…” grumbled Zell.

Seifer laughed, kissing him on his neck when they heard Lulu. “Vivi? Zelly? Whatcha doing?” asked the little girl with Chickie on her shoulder.

Zell suddenly blushed and tried to release himself from Seifer’s embrace but he didn’t let him go. “Oh…Hi Lulu! Did you sleep well?...Seifer please! Let me go!”

But Seifer didn’t move. He turned his head and smiled to Lulu. “Hi sweetie! I just gave a good morning kiss to Zelly!”

“Really? I wanna do it too!” said the little girl jumping in Zell arms. Seifer helped her and she kissed Zell on his cheek. “Good morning Zelly!”

“Yes…morning…” Zell felt embarrassed. He became red.

“You’re gonna become a tomato Zelly! You’re so red!” said Lulu fixing him.

“Don’t worry for him honey, chocobo can’t turn into vegetable…” added Seifer laughing.

“Hey! I’m not a chocobo!!” replied Zell annoyed.

“You’re right…don’t you think he’s more beautiful with his hair down Lulu?” asked Seifer.

“Yes! Zelly is beautiful!” she said with joy.

“Oh…thank you…” Zell was still red.

Lulu approached from Seifer’s face and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Good morning Vivi!”

He smiled and caressed her face with his hand.

“Time for breakfast! I’m hungry!” proposed Zell.

“Me too!” added Lulu.

 

* * *

 

Edea returned to the orphanage. Cid was still at Balamb in the Garden. There were new orphans, from the last sorceress’s war. She wasn’t alone to take care of the children. Four ladies and a young man were there too. They were seeds from Galbadia and Trabia Gardens. They provided lessons and security for the kids, until the day they would grow up and would leave for different Gardens. In fact, Edea was just here to help them occasionally. She wasn’t there all the time. At the beginning, when Cid and she reopened the orphanage, people were a little bit scared to know that an ex-sorceress would take care of young orphans…and she didn’t have the strength to do it again. There were so many sad memories in this place. Each time that one of the orphans was adopted, her heart broke a little more, even though she knew she had to leave them. She was happy to see they became strong and they found happiness…all of them except Seifer. She kept thinking about him, about what she did to him when she was under Ultimecia’s control…

“Seifer…” she whispered, looking at the sea, alone.

She already talked to Squall but he didn’t listen. On the other hand, he has got a good reason. Seifer heard her voice, she was still haunting him…she could come again. Seifer’s mind was weak. Edea knew he needed to feel needed, to be loved… that was why he followed her in Timber. But she was relieved he wasn’t alone. Zell and Lulu were by his side. They could protect him from himself.

 

* * *

 

In the afternoon, after the lunch, Lulu was playing with her bird. She stared at Seifer and Zell.

“Can we go to swim today?” she asked.

Seifer looked at her. “Sure. Wanna come with us?” he asked to Zell.

“Hum…no thanks. I’m gonna take a nap.” He replied scratching his head.

Seifer felt something was disturbing him. “What’s wrong?”

“Huh?”

“Something bothers you. What is it?”

“Nothing…” he avoided eye-contact with him and started to walk into the ship.

 Lulu grabbed his arm. “Zelly! Come with us. You can stay on the grass and sleep there…” she asked.

Zell fixed her. She was so cute with her big blue eyes that he couldn’t refuse anything to her. “Fine…I’m coming, but I won’t swim.”

“Okay! Let’s go!” said the little girl smiling.

There were few little islands around the main platform, which had several floors. They went down on the last floor, just above the sea. Zell sat on the ground. Lulu and Seifer took off their clothes and stayed just with their underwear. Zell blushed when he saw Seifer half naked, with just his boxer. He was on his back and Zell could enjoy his strong, gorgeous and perfect body. He fixed him intensely…his shoulders, his long and muscular legs, and his wonderful and sexy ass…Zell started to get horny and closed his legs to hide it. “ _God…what am I doing? Lulu is with us…I should be ashamed to have these kind of thoughts now…but he’s so hot…”_ he thought.

Seifer fixed him and understood why Zell was so uncomfortable. He smirked and winked at him. “Let’s go Lulu!”

“Yeeesss!!!!” She jumped in the water without wasting time. Seifer followed her and jumped too.

Zell looked at them, smiling. Seifer was playing with the little girl, laughing and throwing water on their face. They seemed to be so happy…Chickie stayed with Zell and went on his lap. He stared at him: “it seems the two chickens hate water, don’t you Chickie?”

“Tweet…tweet…” sang the bird answering.

Zell fixed them, forgetting his nap…he wanted to join them, but he couldn’t…he was a bit ashamed about that…

After one hour, Lulu was a bit tired and cold. She came out of the water and stayed at Zell’s side. “Are you cold?” he asked.

She nodded. He took of his jacket and covered her wet body with it. “Better?”

“Yes. You don’t wanna swim, Zelly?” she demanded.

“No…I’m fine.”

Seifer went to them, staying in the water. “You should come. Water’s fine.” He told Zell.

“I know but I’m ok.”

Seifer smiled and held his arm. “Help me.”

Zell grabbed his arm and began to pull into him when he felt his body swinging and he fell into the water. He panicked and struggled. Seifer wrapped his arms around his waist and tried to cool him.

“Calm down! It’s okay, I've got you!”

“ASSHOLE!! YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE!!!” yelled Zell angry.

Lulu and Seifer were laughing but Zell was upset and annoyed.

“Don’t be mad Zelly…” said Lulu still laughing.

“I told you I didn’t wanna swim!” he shouted.

Seifer kissed his cheek. He looked at Lulu. “Sweetie…I’m gonna swim with Zell. Take a nap and stay in the sun to dry yourself.”

“Yes. See you later.”

Seifer who was holding Zell in his arms, faced him. The little blond, still annoyed, felt afraid and wrapped his legs around Seifer’s waist and his arms around his shoulders.

“Don’t let me…” he said with embarrassment, trembling.

 “You’re still afraid?” asked Seifer gently.

“What?” replied Zell surprised.

“I know you’re afraid of water, but you seemed to feel sad to not join us earlier…” he explained smiling.

Zell blushed suddenly. “How…do you know about this?”

“I just remember.”

“Huh?”

“When we were at the orphanage, you liked so much the sea…You stayed in the water all the day during summer. But I remember the day when you almost drowned. You wanted to swim this day but there were violent winds. Matron forbade you to go but you didn’t listen to her. You went into the beach and a big wave knocked you down…I never saw you swim again since this day.” He said.

Zell held him tightly and pressed his body against Seifer’s chest. “How could you remember that? I almost forgot it…I thought I was just afraid of the water.”

“I didn’t use G-force often unlike you. That’s why I’ve got more memories.”

“I see…”

“Don’t be scared, I hold you.”

“Hum…” replied Zell irritated.

Seifer kissed him tenderly. “Are you mad?”

“YES! I AM” he yelled with anger.

The tall blond laughed and kissed him again. “Sorry Baby…”

“Calling me “baby” won’t change anything, you know?” muttered Zell blushing.

“Really? Maybe I should try something else…” replied Seifer smirking. He swung with Zell still in his arms into the bank of the platform and let him grab the ground. They were still in the water. Seifer was behind him, holding him by the waist.

“I owe you apologies Honey…” said Seifer with a seductive voice, kissing him on his neck. Zell was on his back, elbows on the bank. Seifer slid one hand under his shirt and caressed his chest.

“What..are you doing?” Asked Zell struggling.

“I give you pleasure…you seemed to be horny when I stripped earlier, don’t you? Did you like what you saw?” he replied, biting his ear.

“But…Lulu..” tried to say Zell.

“She can’t see us. She’s on the other side of the platform…don’t worry.” He reassured him, sliding another hand on his pants.

“Seif…” he said softly.

“Relax…I know you’re not comfortable in the water, but I couldn’t wait anymore…”

“Huh?” He felt Seifer’s erection pressed against his back.

“It’s your fault Chicken! You tempted me all the day…” He caressed Zell’s organ gently and started to rub it slowly, pinching his left nipple and kissing his neck in the same time.

“Seifer…” moaned Zell.

“let’s get out of the water…”

They came out and sat on the bank. Seifer pushed Zell on his back and sat on the top of him. He took off his wet clothes, removing his shirt, his pants and his underwear. He was completely naked. Seifer looked at his wet body with desire. “You’re so sexy…” he whispered, caressing his chest with his large hands.

Zell blushed and tried to hide his face with his arm but Seifer grabbed it, rubbing his erect cock in the same time. “Don’t hide. Look at me.”. Zell was shy and embarrassed…he wasn’t a teenager anymore but…it was his first time with a man…plus, the first time with someone he loved…

“Sorry…” he said softly.

“Don’t. Why do you apologize anyway?” Seifer kissed his chest and his cheeks.

“It’s just…” he couldn’t finish his sentence.

“it’s your fist time with a man?” still kissing him.

“Yes…” he admitted.

“Same for me…”

Zell didn’t reply. Seifer looked at him with a smile. “I mean…it’s the first time I MAKE LOVE with a man…”

The martial artist felt sad, thinking about Seifer’s abuses; he caressed his face gently. Seifer grabbed his hand and kissed it. “Don’t make this face Zell…I’m okay.”

They kissed passionately, Zell wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Seifer was still rubbing his cock. He licked his lips and went to his chest, biting softly and licking his nipples. Zell put his hands on his head. His flesh was cold and wet. He was shaking of pleasure. Seifer’s mouth moved into his stomach and licked his belly button, still playing with Zell’s organ.

“Spread your legs.” Demanded Seifer.

He did it. Seifer licked the top of his cock. Zell struggled. “You’re ticklish?” asked Seifer.

“Yes…”

“Hum…good to know.” he said with a smirk, still playing with his tongue on Zell’s penis.

But Seifer stopped and introduced Zell’s organ in his mouth, sucking and rubbing his cock slowly. He put it deeper and deeper in his mouth fixing his expression on his face. He moaned softly, restraining his voice, biting his bottom lip.    

“Seifer…it feels..so good…God…” whispered Zell, grabbing Seifer’s head with his hands.

He continued to give him pleasure and went faster. He could feel Zell became harder…he was probably about to come soon.

“Seif…please…stop it..i’m gonna..” moaned Zell but he didn’t release him. “I’m gonna come…let go…” He couldn’t handle it anymore and came on Seifer’s mouth. “AAAHHHH!!!! SEIFER!” He breathed heavily and felt suddenly embarrassed. “Ah...I’m sorry…”

Seifer licked his lips and his fingers, swallowing Zell’s semen. “Don’t. You’re delicious…” he said with a sexy smile. Zell blushed and smiled too. Seifer kissed him, exploring his mouth with his tongue. He looked at him and introduced two fingers in his mouth. “Lick it.” He asked.

Zell did what he asked, letting his tongue do the job. He closed his eyes to enjoy the sensation when Seifer removed his fingers.

Seifer licked Zell’s entrance with his tongue and pushed one of his wet fingers into his hole. Zell struggled…it didn’t hurt but it felt strange. Seifer added another finger and started to rub his inside. Zell enjoyed the new sensation when he felt the fingers hitting a sensitive spot. “AH! Ahh!! There!” he moaned. Seifer put his other hand on his hip and pushed his fingers deeper stretching the tight passage to prepare him. After few minutes, Zell was hard again. Seifer removed his fingers and took off his boxer. Zell looked at him with desire. “Can I…?” he asked.

“Huh?” replied Seifer surprised.

“I wanna suck you too…” explained Zell.

“Okay. Come.” Agreed Seifer who sat on his bottom, spreading his legs.

 Zell approached his head from his cock and grabbed it with his hand. He was on his knees.

“ _Damn…he’s huge…_ ” he thought. He looked at Seifer blushing. He opened his mouth and started to suck it. He rubbed it in the same time but Seifer pushed his head softly.” Go slowly Zell…”

He stopped and stared at him nervously. “I do it wrong?”

Seifer smiled caressing his hair. “No, it’s good, but don’t force yourself…or you’re gonna make me come too fast…”

Zell felt relieved and sucked Seifer’s cock again when he felt his organ went deeper in his throat. Seifer moved his body forward to him to reintroduce his fingers in his entrance.

The double stimulation, on his mouth and on his ass gave him so much pleasure that he almost came a second time. Seifer pushed his head away and removed his fingers. “Lie down on your stomach.” He demanded.

Zell turned his back and positioned himself, face on the ground. He felt Seifer’s hands massaging his shoulders and his back. “I will be gentle but…it’s gonna hurt a little at the beginning. Tell me if you wanna stop, okay?” He said softly.

Zell nodded and closed his eyes. He felt so excited but…he was nervous.

“Try to relax.” Seifer pressed his cock into Zell’s hole and started to enter slowly.

Zell clenched his fists and bit his lip to restrain his voice. He didn’t want to shout but it hurt…Seifer pushed himself deeper, grabbing Zell’s hips. “You’re too tight…it’s gonna hurt more if you don’t relax…” Said Seifer.

“Sorry…” replied Zell with a shaking voice.

Seifer pushed it completely inside of him and stopped moving. “AAHHH!!” shouted Zell.

“It’s okay…breathe slowly…” said Seifer kissing his neck. His chest was pressed against his back. “I’m gonna move now…”

Zell nodded and stayed quiet. It hurt, yes, but he didn’t want to stop. Seifer grabbed Zell’s fists with his hands and began to move slowly. “Are you alright?”

“Yes…don’t..don’t  stop…” replied Zell.

Seifer continued to enter him slowly. Zell was moving his hips, he understood he started to take pleasure and went a little faster, hitting his good spot. They moaned loudly.

“Ah…ah…good..Seif…” whispered Zell.

Seifer reached down and approached of his ear, kissing and licking gently his flesh on his slender neck. He grabbed Zell’s penis and rubbed it with his hand. The martial artist shivered.

“No…not there..i’m gonna…” he started to explain but his lover grabbed his face with his other hand and kissed him hungrily with his tongue. He released him after few seconds and smiled.

“Don’t hold yourself…I’m gonna come too…” he said calmly.

Zell turned his body on his left and stayed on his hip. Seifer did the same, grabbing and holding Zell’s leg in the air. He was behind him, his chest pressed against his back, still entering him, kissing his shoulder and his neck. Zell felt the pleasure grew up and moaned Seifer’s name again and again.

Seifer caressed his hair with his hand, still holding his leg with the other. He kissed his ear and whispered : “Do it yourself…”

Zell blinked. “Huh?”

“I wanna watch you…”

Zell felt embarrassed but he did it. He grabbed his cock with his hand and started to rub himself. Seifer never stopped looking at him, as if he took more pleasure to watch him. The two lovers couldn’t hold it anymore. Zell came first. “AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”

The tall blond followed him few seconds later. “AAAHHH!! ZELL!!”

Seifer lay down on his back, exhausted. Zell pressed his body against his chest, on the top of him. The gunblader wrapped his lover's back with his arms whereas Zell was kissing and caressing his muscular torso.

“Are you okay?” asked Seifer.

Zell smiled and continued to kiss his chest, licking and biting his nipples. Seifer shivered of pleasure and pushed his head back. “Stop it…or you’re gonna make me hard again…”

“What do you think I’m trying to do?” he replied.

Seifer laughed. “Damn! Give a break, man! I don’t have your stamina you know?”

Zell raised his body to look at him with triumph. “Oh…I see. There’s finally something that I’m better than you!”

“Don’t flatter yourself Chicken! You always have been a hyperactive chocobo…” Said Seifer with his classic smirk.

“Stop calling me like that!!”

“What? Chicken or Chocobo?”

“Both of your stupid pet names!! MORON! And I’m still mad…” he replied angrily.

“Oh, really?” asked Seifer kissing him tenderly.

“Yes!”

“What should I do to be forgiven?”

“Well…maybe I could forgive you if you give me another round…” he replied with a seductive voice.

“What a hungry chocobo you are, honey…”

“Okay! You killed the mood now!” Zell started to stand up but Seifer grabbed him by his waist.

“Liar! Come on! How could you resist me?”

“Don’t be full of yourself! You’re getting on my nerves now!” replied Zell annoyed.

“Hum…I love to tease you…it makes you gorgeous.” He said kissing him tenderly. “You’re so cute when you’re angry…I can’t help it.”

Zell looked at him with his big blue eyes and caressed his face gently. “I love you.”

Seifer smiled. “I love you too.”

Zell put his head on his chest. “But I can kick your ass whenever I want…”

Seifer laughed caressing his hair. “I’d like to see you try!”


	18. Time to explain

Two months later.

Seifer, Zell and Lulu were still in Deep Sea research center. Life was simple but happy and safe. Nobody went to look for them here even if sometimes planes flew over surroundings. The place wasn’t big but they weren’t bored…Swimming, fishing, fighting against the monsters inside of the center, they still had something to do.

Lulu had her two special persons by her side and her little Chickie, she was happy even if she missed Winhill, she never complained. Zell and Seifer became closer and enjoyed each moment with her. But when they were alone, they never resisted to each other…the desire grew up between the two lovers. Their embraces were still passionate, sometimes savage but never violent or too rough. Seifer was always gentle and felt more confident because he knew Zell trusted him. Seifer felt better and got his confidence back. He couldn’t forget but it was completely different with Zell…no pain, no shame, no fear but just love, pleasure and tenderness, all he always wanted. But he felt guilty. Even if he was happy with Lulu and Zell, he knew it wasn’t a good life for them. Zell had his job, his friends and his mother…and Lulu had her life in Winhill. Deep sea wasn’t a right place for a little girl but Seifer knew they would refuse to surrender. They protected him.

On the afternoon, Seifer and Zell were bored. Lulu was a bit tired and made a nap with Chickie. Seifer was outside, looking at the sky.

“What are you doing?” asked Zell who was behind him.

“Nothing…”

Zell wrapped his arms around his shoulders, kissing him on the neck. “Wanna do it again?” asked Seifer with a smirk.

“Mmm…good suggestion but I was thinking of training…there’re some monsters in the center we can fight. Wanna go with me?” proposed Zell.

“Yes! I wish I could have Hyperion with me…but I can use magic.” Replied Seifer, standing up.

“But…you’re not junctioned with g-force. How can you use magic?” asked Zell surprised.

“…”

“Seifer?”

“Huh…I don’t know. I never liked using g-force anyway…Lulu uses magic too, you know?” Seifer was embarrassed.

“Really?”

“Yes. I taught her. She’s pretty good!” he said proudly.

“I remember now. I saw her when she attacked Squall…it’s amazing…I don’t know how you two can use it without junction…” added Zell surprised.

“Yes…but you know I never do things as everybody…”

“You’re the great Seifer Almasy! I know, I know…” said Zell sarcastically.

Seifer grabbed him by the waist and kissed him tenderly. “Good thing you know who you are talking about Chicken!”

“Jerk!”

They laughed, kissing each other. They were still the same…but it was just a game between them. They knew their feelings. There was no anger or animosity between them anymore…

“Let’s go!”

They entered in the center and walked toward the downstairs to reach basements. The atmosphere was a bit heavy but they weren’t afraid. They were fighters. After few minutes, they encountered opponents.

“Shit. A Kannibal!” shouted Zell.

“Be careful!” added Seifer.

They started to fight. Zell summoned Ifrit and Seifer stole and used magic spells. It was a long time since the two men fought together.

“Remember good old days, don’t you?” said happily Zell.

“Yeah…I could have become a seed if only I followed orders in Dollet…” replied Seifer with melancholy.

They killed the Kannibal easily after several minutes. It was a good training; they were still in good condition. Zell fixed Seifer.

“Do you regret it?” Asked Zell.

“What? To not have become a seed? Not really…Garden wasn’t a place for me anyway…but when I think about it, I just considered this place like my home.”

Zell felt sad when he saw Seifer with this melancholic look.

“Why didn’t you return to Esthar? It was where you’re born after all…”

“After all what I’ve done, I couldn’t return…you know it better than anybody Zell.” Replied Seifer annoyed.

Zell looked down. “Sorry…I always speak without thinking before…”

Seifer approached and took his face with his hands, kissing him tenderly. “I know…but that’s what I love about you…your honesty and your sincerity…even if it’s true you talk too much sometimes!”

“Hey!” grumbled Zell annoyed.

Seifer kissed him again and pressed his body against the wall behind them. “Enough for training today! Why don’t we try something more…intense?” Suggested Seifer with a seductive look.

“What? Here?” asked Zell.

“I can’t wait any longer! You’re tempting me all the time with your sexy ass…” replied Seifer touching him under his shirt.

“It’s gonna be my fault now…” said Zell wrapping his arms around Seifer’s shoulders.

“Of course, it’s your fault!” confirmed Seifer laughing. He devoured him, twisting his tongue inside Zell’s mouth. His hands were playing with his nipples. Zell shivered.

“You’re gonna tease?” asked Zell.

“Nah…I don’t think so…I want you now.” Said Seifer grabbing Zell’s ass with his hands.

Zell unbuttoned his pants and started to rub his cock. Seifer was already hard and let Zell give him pleasure. Meanwhile, he caressed his ass gently with his naked fingers…Zell’s skin was so soft. He kissed his neck and unzipped his jeans before slipping his hand in his boxer. With his other hand, he introduced two fingers in his tight hole.

“Seif…” whispered Zell. Seifer continued to rub his cock and fingered him, kissing his cheek and his mouth. He was never rough with his lover…he always took his time to prepare him, even if Zell was often impatient and begged to do it.

“Seifer…I can’t…I’m gonna…” but Zell didn’t have the time to finish his sentence he already came. He breathed heavily, pressing his head on Seifer’s shoulder, when his lover released him, removing his fingers.

“Can you turn off please?” asked Seifer.

Zell turned his back and pressed his chest against the wall. Seifer rubbed his own cock with his hand, covered by Zell’s semen and licked two of his fingers. He wetted Zell’s entrance with it and went closer to him. Zell could feel his organ pressed against his tight hole. Seifer started to enter him slowly and pushed him completely inside of him. Zell became tense and tried to relax. It didn’t hurt, it was just uncomfortable at the beginning…but the pleasure was higher than pain. Seifer went a bit faster when he felt Zell got used to support it.

“No…need to hold your voice here, honey…I wanna hear you screaming my name…” said Seifer licking his ear and rubbing his cock in the same time he penetrated him.

Zell moaned loudly. He moved his hips in the same rhythm as his lover, asking more and more pleasure even if he was at his limit with the double stimulation on his ass and his cock. Seifer rammed him harder until he reached the orgasm in the same time of Zell.

“SEIFER!!!” yelled Zell when he came.

The two lovers collapsed on the ground, exhausted. Their breath was heavy and they sweated. Zell rolled on Seifer’s side and pressed his head against his chest.

“You know…we need some foods…We exhausted all our reserves.” Said Zell.

“I know…maybe, it’s time to go back…” asked Seifer.

Zell raised his head and got dressed again. “Don’t even think about it!”

“Zell…”

“Enough! If it’s to say that, you can shut up, right now! We won’t surrender!” replied Zell annoyed.

Seifer stood up and got dressed too. “What do you suggest now? We can’t hide forever!”

“I know…I just need more time…”

“Zell…please…”

“Seifer, stop it! I won’t give up on you! Never! Think about Lulu! She’ll be sad if you abandon her…and what about me? Are you thinking about us?” asked Zell with tears on his voice.

“I…only think about you two Zell…all the time…” replied Seifer sadly.

Zell held him tightly. “Please honey…don’t ask me that…I can’t. I love you, I love Lulu…I won’t be able to live if I know you’re imprisoned…”

“Zell…”

“We need you. We love you…please, don’t ask me that…please.”

Seifer caressed his hair and kissed his cheek. Zell was so cute…he gave Seifer so much…Lulu and Zell were his family, his reason to live, he couldn’t abandon them…

“But…what are we gonna do now? You said we didn’t have reserves…we can’t stay here…” explained Seifer.

“I’m…gonna go to Balamb. I can phone my Ma. She will help me.” Said Zell.

“But…”

“You and Lulu will stay here until I come back. I know my mother would never betray me.” Assured Zell.

“But Balamb is a small island. If you go with the ship, the Garden will locate you…” said Seifer worried.

“I’ll be careful.”

“Zell…”

“Do you trust me?” asked Zell taking Seifer’s face with his hands.

 “Sure…but I’m worried. I don’t want you go alone…”

“We can’t go together. It’s too dangerous for you…and if they capture me, I could escape again…”

Seifer kept silent. He knew Zell was stubborn and he would never listen…

 “I’ll leave tomorrow…let’s get out of here, Lulu is probably awake now.” Said Zell grabbing Seifer’s hand. They left the center and went into the ship.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Zell woke up before Seifer and Lulu. He took his radio and composed a phone number. After some dialing tones, he heard someone answering.

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Ma? It’s me…”

“ _Zell? Honney, it’s really you???”_

“Yes Ma…”

_“Thanks God, you’re alive!! I was so worried…”_

“I’m sorry Ma…I know I should have contacted you before but I was afraid to be located…are you alone in home?”

_“Yes, of course!”_

“Are you sure?”

_“Zell! Don’t you trust me?”_

“I’m sorry…”

There was an embarrassing silence between them.

_“You know…everyone is worried about you…”_

“I know.”

_“Are you gonna come back?”_

“Yes…but I won’t stay. I need some food and clothes for me, Seifer and Lulu…that’s why I’ve contacted you…”

_“Zell…please come back. I’m sure we can find a solution and…”_

“Ma, please! Seifer already tries to convince me to come back every day… I know I can trust you. Please, try to understand…I can’t let them catch him…he already suffered enough…”

“ _Zell_ …”

“Please Ma…help me…I need you.”

_“Of course I will. Don’t worry. I’m gonna buy everything you need and I’ll be waiting for you outside of Balamb City. The Garden isn’t here right now. They left yesterday for Trabia. Selphie told me before leaving…”_

“Great! I’ll be there in the afternoon. I’ll contact you when I’ll arrive.”

_“Okay. Take care of you Honey, and be careful.”_

“I promise! Thank you Ma…I love you.”

_“I love you too honey. See you later.”_

 

Zell got off the phone and stood up when he saw Seifer behind him.

“Oh…Seif! Morning!”

“Morning…”

Zell went to him and kissed his lips tenderly but Seifer didn’t respond. He was sad and anxious.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Zell.

“You know what’s wrong Zell…”

Zell rolled his eyes annoyed. “Please Seifer…don’t start with that! I need to go now. I’m gonna wake up Lulu and I’ll leave…”

But Seifer grabbed his waist, wrapping his arms around him.

“Seif!”

He didn’t reply or move…he just stayed like that without saying a word as if he wanted to stop him. Zell sighted.

“Seifer…please. I’ll come back on the night. Don’t worry the Garden isn’t in Balamb now…I’ll be safe…”

“I know…I heard it…” whispered Seifer against his back.

“Release me. I have to go. Please…”

Seifer sighted and let him go. Zell looked at him and kissed him. He knew Seifer was nervous but he didn’t have the choice. He tried to comfort him but it was useless…

“Morning Vivi! Morning Zelly!” said Lulu who was behind them.

“Hi Sweetie! Did you sleep well?” asked Zell, turning his back to see her.

The little girl fixed them with a sad look.

“Vivi’s worried…what’s wrong?” she asked.

Seifer didn’t reply and looked down. Zell went to her and kissed her on the cheek.

“I have to go Lulu. We’re running out of food and we need some clothes. I’ll come back tonight, I promise!” he explained.

“But we’re gonna come with you?” asked Lulu.

“No Lulu, it’s too dangerous for Vivi. Stay with him and watch over him, okay?”

“But…you promise to come back?”

“I promise!”

She smiled and hugged him. “I trust Zelly. Be careful.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Seifer and Lulu stayed on the platform and said goodbye to Zell. The Ragnarok left and disappeared quickly in the sky. Seifer stared at the horizon, holding Lulu’s hand without saying a word.

“Don’t worry Vivi. Zelly will come back. He promised.”

Seifer looked at her and smiled. “You’re right.”

 

* * *

 

After several hours of flight, Zell arrived in Balamb. He contacted his Ma and he landed the Ragnarok near to the forest. He went outside of the ship and looked at around him. The Garden wasn’t here, it was true. He felt relieved. After few minutes, he saw a car driving in his direction. He recognized his Ma. When she arrived, she went out quickly of the car and grabbed Zell in her arms. Zell held her tightly and started to cry. He missed her so much…but he never wanted to admit it in front of Seifer because he knew he felt already guilty…he didn’t want to hurt him more.

“I’m so happy to see you, Darling…” said Ma Dincht.

“Me too Ma…me too…”

“Let me look at you.” She took his face with her soft hands. She was so kind and overprotecting…

“I’m fine…”

She smiled. “I was so worried…”

“I know, but Seifer and Lulu are with me. You don’t have to…”

“Where are they?”

“I left them. I came alone. It was too dangerous for Seifer.”

“I see…”

Zell fixed his mother. “Are you mad at me?”

“Zell…I want you to come back…”

“I can’t.”

“Please Honey…Everyone is looking for you…”

“They’re looking for Seifer. They want to imprison him…I won’t let this happen.”

“Zell…”

“Ma…I know what you think but…I love him. You don’t have any idea about what he endured…he needs me.”

“Selphie told me about what happened in Esthar. She didn’t give me details but she told me the same thing about Seifer…”

“He didn’t ask me to help him. I did it on my own.”

“I know Zell…”

They kept silent, still sharing looks and smiles.

“I miss you…I know I hurt you, I hurt my friends too…but I followed my heart. Seifer asks me all the time to let him surrender…he’s really concerned about me, and he feels guilty for me and for Lulu. But I love him. Please Ma…understand me.”

She kissed his cheek. “I understand sweetie. I’m not mad against you or against Seifer. I’m just worried about you…I hope you could come back soon…”

“I wish I could. Forgive me.”

“I don’t have anything to forgive honey…If he takes care of you and if he loves you, I’m happy. Next time, bring him with you, I want to meet him.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“It’s okay. I bought some clothes for you two and Lulu. How is she?”

“She’s fine. She’s happy with us…”

“You three are like a family…I can considerer her like my granddaughter… “

Zell blushed. “Ma…”

“Okay…they’re probably waiting for you…let’s go.”

“You’re right.”

When they finished loading the ship with food, they said goodbye. Zell was sad to leave his mother but she understood his choice. She didn’t blame him for that and he felt relieved. He knew they couldn’t hide forever.

When Zell came back in Deep sea center later in the night, Seifer was waiting for him with Lulu. 


	19. Time to surrender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> Since it's my birthday today, i've some free time to post another chapter!  
> Seifer still talks to himself in this part, don't be surprised for what is written in bold.  
> Bye ^_^

Two months later. Esthar.

Raijin walked alone in the streets. He took a long break with his wife. They needed to be far away from Garden, but actually they wanted to look for Seifer. After what they saw, they felt guilty…and annoyed against Squall. Ultimecia was just an excuse for him to take his revenge against his rival…everyone knew it but…there was a real threat in fact. The sorceress could come back and she already caused too much pain in this world.

Raijin arrived in the Presidential Palace. Kiros came to welcome him.

“Hi Raijin.”

“Hi Kiros. Is Laguna here?”

“No. he went to Deling City about two weeks ago with Quistis for Linoa’s childbirth.”

“Ah…yes. I know it’s a boy…”

“Yes. Did you see them?”

“No.” replied coldly Raijin.

Kiros felt embarrassed. “You’re still mad against Squall, don’t you?”

 “Yes. I can’t celebrate his happiness when I know Seifer is forced to hide, ya know? I’m a bit relieved to know that Zell and Lulu are with him, but…it’s unfair!” Answered Raijin annoyed.

“I understand Raijin. How can I help you?”

“Hum…I came to see if you had some news about Zell, ya know? Did he contact you?” asked Raijin

“No. We’ve tried to contact them since they left but nothing…”

“I see…”

Kiros looked at him with sadness. He knew Raijin was worried but he couldn’t do anything else for him. “How is Fujin?”

“Fine, fine…”

“You don’t look so good. Did you two have a fight?”

“We didn’t talk a lot since the last time in Geyser’s laboratory, ya know? She feels guilty…she forced me to leave Seifer behind us because she was angry against him, not because he had been fired but because he never returned her feelings…and after that, she was afraid that I think she chose me by default…”

“Is that what you think?”

“No…she told me she loved me and I trust her. But…I’m still angry against her for Seifer…”

“We’re all guilty Raijin…don’t be mad at her. I think she blames herself enough.”

“Yes…but it hurts. I miss him.”

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later.

Seifer woke up early. Lulu and Zell were still asleep by his side. He smiled, looking at them with kindness. Lulu was an adorable child, and Zell was still this innocent kid. They were so cute…

He stood up and left outside. It was already four months since they ran away from Esthar. They were happy but they suffered. Zell tried so hard to hide his emotions but he remembered the day he came back from Balamb about two months ago. Seifer saw sadness in his wet eyes…he probably had cried but he never admitted. He missed his mother and his friends…but he never complained. He always said the same words again and again: “ _I love you_ ”, “ _I chose you_ ”…Lulu did the same thing. She comforted Seifer every time she felt he was depressed, telling he was good…and she loved him…but Winhill was her home.

Seifer returned in the Ragnarok. It was cold outside. He sat in an armchair near of the cockpit and closed his eyes.

**“Do you really want to leave?”**

“No…but we can’t stay here forever.”

**“Zell and Lulu will suffer if you surrender…”**

“They’re already suffering now…it will be worse later…”

**“Yes. I know you’re right but…”**

“I knew it…”

**“You knew what?”**

“I should have never loved them at the beginning.”

**“But it is great?”**

“It was…wonderful. But now, it hurts to know everything’s gonna end…Happiness, love, friendship…everything sucks when it stops.”

**“Yes…”**

“…”

**“Keep hope.”**

“No. Hope is cruel.”

**“But…it’s the only thing you’ve got…”**

“I’ve got nothing now…I have to give up on them. Lulu won’t be alone with Zell…and I’m sure he’ll find someone who will deserve him better than me.”

**“Keep hope…”**

Seifer opened his eyes and went to the cockpit. He sighted and turned on the radio.

“Hello? Is anybody there?” He asked.

There was no answer. He tried again.

“Hello? Somebody hears me? “

Seifer heard some noises but no real answer.

“Hello?”

After few minutes, somebody replied. “ _Esthar Palace here. Ragnarok n°2, we hear you. Give us your position please.”_

Seifer stayed quiet. It wasn’t a familiar voice…probably just an operator.

 _“Ragnarok n°2. What’s your position?_ ”

He couldn’t answer. He had to talk to someone before giving their position.

_“Ragnarok n°2. Are you still there?”_

“Yes…I need to talk with someone…” said Seifer.

_“Give us your position please.”_

“…”

_“Ragnarok n°2. Please give us your position.”_

Seifer was nervous. He tried to think. He could ask to talk with Laguna, Quistis or Kiros.

“Is Kiros or Quistis there?” he asked.

_“…”_

He hoped somebody could listen to him.

_“Ragnarok n°2. Stay online please.”_

Seifer sighted. He was stressed and he didn’t know if he was right to do this. Zell would never agree anyway…He heard a familiar voice on the radio.

_“Zell? Is it you? It’s Quistis!”_

“Hi Quistis! Seifer’s speaking…”

She made a pause and finally answered. “ _Seifer? It’s you…How are you? Zell and Lulu are still with you?”_

“Yes. They’re sleeping right now…”

_“Good…we were so worried. We tried to contact you every day since you left…”_

“I know.”

_“Seifer…where are you?”_

“…”

_“Seifer?”_

“Yes…I’m here. Is The Ice-Princess around please? I need to talk with him.”

_“You want to talk with Squall??”_

“Yes, please.”

_“Wait a minute. I’m gonna look for him. He’s in the Palace but he was on the phone with Cid.”_

“I’m waiting.”

Seifer closed his eyes and tried to relax. There was worse to come yet…Convincing Squall…

_“Seifer? Laguna’s speaking. Do you hear me?”_

“Yes. Hi President!”

_“Don’t call me like that…Anyway, are you okay? What about Zell and Lulu?”_

“They’re fine. They’re sleeping…what about you? Did you already marry Quistis?”

_“Huh…no. To be honest, we didn’t have the heart to celebrate this after you ran away…”_

“Oh…I hope you won’t drop the wedding?”

_“No…of course not! But why do you care anyway?”_

“Because Quistis deserves to be happy, and I won’t forgive you if you break her heart. Understood?”

Laguna felt embarrassed. He never expected something like this from Seifer Almasy.

_“It’s…unexpected from you Seifer…”_

“I always respected Quistis even if I never told her…when we were at the Garden, I gave her some hard times…and it was probably my fault when she has been fired of her job instructor…Zell told me she was happy with you so you better take care of her. Your “precious” son already broke her heart once, she doesn’t need to suffer again.”

Seifer didn’t hear that Quistis, Squall and Kiros were there too and they listened to him talking with Laguna. Quistis blushed but she felt happy when she realized Seifer cared about her.

 _“Seifer?”_ It was Squall’s voice.

“Oh! Is it our Lion cub?” replied Seifer sarcastically.

 _“So funny Almasy…”_ grumbled Squall annoyed.

“Touchy as always…”

_“So…where are you?”_

“Do you figure out I’m gonna tell you without expecting something in return?”

_“What do you want?”_

Seifer took a large breath and finally answered.

“Charges dropped against Zell.”

_“Why? Why do you care?”_

“Because I love him, and I don’t want he pays consequences in my place.”

The others didn’t reply immediately. It was true…They loved each other.

 _“Seifer…”_ Started to explain Squall but he was cut.

“Squall! You didn’t listen when I begged you for Lulu, but Zell is your friend. He didn’t do anything wrong, so he doesn’t have to pay for this.”

_“He betrayed us…”_

“FUCK YOU LEONHART!”

 _“Seifer…please calm down…”_ tried to say Quistis.

“How could you be so fucking stubborn? Do you hate me that much you wanna punish your friend because of me???”

_“Stubborn? You can talk for yourself!”_

“You’re…the worst, Squall…” Seifer’s voice was suddenly sad.

_“Where are you?”_

“…”

_“Seifer?”_

“I love Zell, Squall. I could die for him and for Lulu…I would do anything to stay by their side…but I can’t. I’ve tried to convince Zell to return, but he always refused…”

 _“Seifer…”_ said sadly Quistis.

“I love him. I never imagined I could be so happy with him…I would have never followed that bitch if only I had realized my feelings for him before…we could have been so happy…but I can’t go back in the past. I don’t ask you to forgive me or to understand me…to be honest I don’t give a shit. Zell and Lulu are precious for me. I just want their happiness…”

_“…”_

“Squall, Zell is your friend. Lulu’s gonna be alone when I’ll be imprisoned. If I can’t be there for her, Zell will take care of her…don’t make him pay because of me. Please. This is my only request: drop charges against Zell and let him take his place again. He’s your friend…just think about him.”

Seifer felt nervous. He hoped Squall would accept or Zell and Lulu would stay with him, far away from their life forever.

_“I never intended to punish Zell because of you…if you surrender, he can come back to the Garden, and…I’ll give him some free time in his schedule to take care of Lulu.”_

“Do I have your word this time?”

_“I promise.”_

“You better remember what you said Leonhart or I promise if you hurt them, no prison in this world would be enough secured to stop me for killing you!”

_“I said I promise.”_

“…”

_“So…where are you?”_

Seifer sighted. He felt relieved Squall finally agreed to not punish Zell. It was a good thing…

_“Seifer?”_

“We are…in the middle of the ocean. A place called Deep Sea center…Zell told me it was the place when you came to look for Bahamut…”

_“Deep Sea? You were in Deep Sea all this time?”_

“Yes…”

_“Geez…we looked for you all around the world but I never thought about it…”_

“Dumbass…”

_“Shut up! How can I be sure you won’t run away if we come?”_

“We won’t. Zell and Lulu don’t know I called you.”

_“Fine…We’ll be there in few hours.”_

“Okay.”

They were going to hang off but Squall asked something:

_“Seifer?”_

“What?”

_“You and Zell…are…”_

Seifer laughed. “Yes Puberty boy! Zell and I are lovers and we fuck. That’s what you wanted to know?”

_“You don’t have to be so crude…”_

“Poor boy…I thought you saw worse when you and the others explored my mind without asking my permission!”

_“Oh…Zell told you?”_

“Yes! You didn’t have the right to do that!”

_“But…we understood you better after this…”_

“Yeah, and what? What difference does it make? It didn’t change anything about your decision…you were probably happy to see me in such disgraced position…I hope you took your pleasure!”

_“You’re wrong…”_

“Keep your fucking pity for yourself Leonhart!”

_“You don’t even try to understand…”_

“I told you I don’t fucking care! I’m not a faggot or anything else if that’s what you think. Zell neither. We just love each other. I won’t be able to love anyone else. I was so happy with him…I wish I could stay by his side with Lulu forever…”

_“I’m sorry.”_

“Fuck you and your apologies. I’m tired hearing your voice…I have to go now.”

He turned off the radio. It was done now…everything would end today…Zell would return to Balamb with Lulu. He felt relieved to know he would not be judged for what he did for him, but he felt sad…

 

“It was the best thing to do…”

**“Keep hope. Maybe they will understand…”**

“No. They won’t. Don’t you remember who I am? I’m Seifer Almasy, the sorceress’ knight.”

**“Everyone deserves a second chance.”**

“Not me.”

 

Seifer stood up and started to walk to the room when he saw Lulu and Chickie in the corridor.

“Morning Vivi!”

“Morning Sunshine!”

She came to him and raised her arms to hold him. Seifer took her in his arms and caressed her face, smiling.

“Where’s Zell?”

“He’s still asleep.”

“I see…”

Seifer fixed Lulu in the eyes. “You look tired Honey. Why did you wake up?”

“I wondered where you were. You weren’t in the bed with us…”

“Sorry…I didn’t want to worry you.”

Lulu stared at him with her big blue eyes. She felt something was wrong with Seifer. She touched his face gently with her little fingers.

“Vivi?”

“Yes Sweetie?”

“There’s…something wrong. Tell me.”

Seifer felt nervous. He forgot she could read his emotions…but he tried to reassure her.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

She kept looking at him. “I feel…a strange feeling in your eyes…”

“Hum?”

“Something as…happiness…and sadness on the same time…”

Seifer smiled with a sad look. She was a good observer.

“This feeling is called melancholy, Lulu…”

“Melancholy?”

“Yes…”

Lulu felt worried. “Vivi?”

Seifer just smiled at her and touched her cheek tenderly. “Can I have my good morning kiss?”

“Sure!” She kissed his cheek and hugged him with her little arms. Seifer held her tightly and kissed her on the ear and whispered: “I love you Lulu. I love you with all of my heart…”

“I love you too Vivi.”

Seifer enjoyed this moment knowing it would be probably the last one…he was really happy with her…he never had imagined he could meet someone so incredible…He was so proud of her, even if he wasn’t related by blood with her, he felt as her father…

“Vivi…you’re strange…”

“Yes…you’ll understand later.”

She looked at him with tears. “I feel…something’s gonna happen soon…”

“Yeah…” Seifer sighted sadly, but Lulu caressed his face gently with a smile.

“You won’t tell me…I know…but I’ll never give up on you. Never.”

Seifer restrained his tears. “ _You can’t do anything for me now sweetie…you’ve already done so much…_ ” he thought.

She smiled. “It’s not the time to end Vivi…”

“Huh?”

“I know what you think but…it’s not the end…”

Seifer looked down. “Lulu…”

“Trust me.”

They kept silent, still looking at each other. Seifer agreed and put her in the ground. “Wanna return to bed? It’s still early…”

“Yes. Let’s go.” She replied.

They entered in the room. Zell was still asleep. They lay down on the bed near of him. Lulu grabbed Seifer’s ams around her and closed her eyes peacefully. He kissed her and covered them with the blanket. He didn’t want to sleep…but just watching them, enjoying their presence while he still had this chance.

 

* * *

 After one hour, Zell opened his eyes. Lulu was sleeping deeply, but Seifer was awake. He smiled at him.

“Morning…” whispered Zell.

“Morning Honey.” Replied Seifer with a low voice.

Zell blushed but smiled. He liked when Seifer called him with sweet names. He used to insult him all the time, but he could be so gentle and so kind…

“Wanna go outside?” proposed Zell.

“Sure.” Seifer released himself from Lulu’s embrace and covered her again with the blanket. Lulu moved and muttered on her sleep.

“Vivi…”

“Go back to sleep Sweetie…I just need to talk with Zelly, okay?” Whispered Seifer to her ear, kissing her hair.

“Okay…”

Zell looked at them. He felt a bit surprised because he didn’t have something special to say to Seifer but he forgot immediately and left the room with his lover. Zell didn’t have the time to say anything; Seifer gripped his waist and pressed his body against his chest, touching his nipples.

“Seif…”

“I want you. Now.”  Said Seifer calmly. “let’s go in the next room.”

He took Zell by the hand and dragged him quickly. Zell didn’t protest and followed him. When they entered in the room, Zell closed the door behind him, but Seifer was already kissing him with hunger. Zell was pushed against the door, trying desperately to breathe but Seifer never let him go.

“Seif…please..i..can’t breathe..” whispered Zell with difficulties.

Seifer lapped his tongue along Zell’s neck and stripped him quickly. Zell was already naked and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Seifer gripped him by the hips and carried him to the bed. He put him on his back unceremoniously before taking his clothes off. Zell didn’t move, enjoying Seifer’s striptease…but he felt something was wrong with him…he was particularly horny and a little rough this morning…

Seifer didn’t waste time and spread Zell’s legs, squeezing and stroking his cock. Seifer kissed and licked his stomach, raising his tongue on his nipples and on his neck, before kissing him. Zell brushed Seifer’s hair with his hands and wrapped his legs around his waist. He closed his eyes and abandoned his body to his lover. He felt Seifer’s hands touching him everywhere, his tongue running through each cavity of his body…He went between his legs and began to suck his hard cock. He stopped after few seconds to lick Zell’s entrance with his tongue. He pushed two wet fingers in his tight hole and stretched his inside, going deeper and deeper. He returned to his cock with his mouth, still fingering his ass. Zell arched his head back on his pillow and moaned.

“Seif…please. I wanna suck you too…” whispered Zell.

Seifer looked at him and positioned himself on the top of him to give a better access to his cock for his lover. Zell gripped his organ and swallowed it completely. They gave pleasure to each other until they reached the orgasm. Zell came but Seifer restrained himself to no come in his mouth. Seifer raised his head and licked his lips, swallowing Zell’s semen, still fingering his ass. He removed his fingers, went between his legs and pushed his cock into his hole. He went inside completely. Zell panted and felt relieved when Seifer made a pause before thrusting. It didn’t hurt but it was a bit sudden, even if he took time to prepare him…Seifer began to move slowly. Zell caught his neck with his hands and moved his hips on the same rhythm as his thrusts.

“God…so good…Seif..” moaned Zell.

Seifer moved faster, massaging Zell’s chest and cock with his hands and attacking his neck with his tongue. Zell was shivering…each move, each thrust, each touch gave him so much pleasure that he couldn’t hold himself any longer and came; his semen was covering his stomach. Seifer gripped his hips and thrust him harder until he came inside, screaming his name.

“ZELL!!!” 

He collapsed on Zell’s body, whispering on his ear. “I love you…”

Zell smiled and brushed his hair gently. “Love you too…”

Seifer kissed him on his neck and stroked again Zell’s cock.

“You want another round?” asked Zell laughing.

But Seifer didn’t reply. He was kissing him when he stopped suddenly and lay down on his back, still looking at his lover.

“Make me.”

Zell blinked. “What?”

“Do it to me…please…” demanded Seifer with a serious look.

Zell was surprised. Seifer was different today…sex was good…even better today, but something was weird with him…He usually loved having control and Zell never complained because he liked it too…but today, Seifer asked him to fuck him…he wanted to be the bottom…

“But…” tried to say Zell, moving on his side and looking at him but Seifer grabbed Zell’s hand and began to suck his fingers. He spread his legs and guided his fingers after removing it from his mouth into his hole. He pushed Zell’s fingers inside of him, breathing heavily. Zell was frozen…as if he couldn’t stop Seifer…He fixed his lover who was fingering himself with his fingers. He blinked when he realized what he was doing. He tried to remove his fingers but Seifer held his hand firmly.

“Zell…please don’t stop…” he said softly looking at him, touching his face with his other hand.

“But…I’m gonna hurt you…” replied Zell who was panicked.

“No, Honey…you won’t hurt me…touch me…hold me…please.” Asked Seifer.

Zell felt embarrassed. It was his first time and he remembered so many painful pictures about Seifer’s abuses…he was afraid to hurt him but he couldn’t resist…his inside was so hot he became erect again quickly. Zell approached and pushed his fingers deeper in his ass, trying to find his sweet spot. Seifer smiled at him and lay down again on his back, still looking Zell in the eyes. He never let his hand go and guided it as if he wanted to reassure him. He knew Zell was scared to hurt him after what he saw…but he wanted to do it. It would be probably his last chance…

“Good…It feels so good…” moaned Seifer.

Zell stayed concentrated and tried to give him pleasure the best way he could. Seifer removed his fingers and turned his body to lie down on his stomach. He was on his knees, ass in the air, positioning himself for his lover.

Zell kneeled between his legs and presented his hard cock in front of Seifer’s entrance and put it in slowly. Seifer buried his face on his pillow. Zell was gentle…but he was still scared…it was the first time he did it since he had been raped…he was shaking and began to cry silently when he felt Zell’s hands grabbing his fists and whispered on his ear.

“Don’t force yourself…I know you’re still afraid…” said softly Zell.

Seifer turned his head to look at him. “Please…don’t stop…”

“Seifer…we don’t have to…”

“Don’t stop please…I wanna do it…”

“But...”

“You’re not hurting me…you’re not like them…”

“But…you’re crying…”

Seifer smiled. “I’m not crying because it hurts…I promise…please don’t stop…”

“Don’t lie. I hate to see you cry…”

Seifer turned around and pushed Zell on his back. He went on the top of him and impaled himself roughly on Zell’s cock, enduring the pain. Zell tried to struggle but Seifer blocked his fists with his hands.

“I told you you’re not hurting me…It’s not like you could do it…” he said laughing.

Zell blushed and stopped moving. “What does it mean?”

Seifer smiled and kissed him quickly. “It means you’re too kind to hurt anybody…don’t worry, I’m okay…”

Zell smiled. He felt relived even if he was still worried. Seifer released his fists and put his hands on his stomach. He began to move his hips up and down slowly. The pain has gone and he started to feel good. Zell’s cock was hitting his prostate in each move. Zell grabbed Seifer by his hips and raised his back to sit down. He put his hands on Seifer’s ass and guided him to impale deeper on his cock. Seifer moaned loudly.

“Ah…there…Zell…Zell…” he shouted wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

Zell felt amazing. He could feel Seifer’s ass got tightened around his organ. “Damn! You’re so hot…” moaned Zell to Seifer’s ear.

“Ah! Harder! Harder! Zell! Come inside…please…” groaned Seifer.

Zell grabbed Seifer’s cock with his hand and stroked it roughly, still moving his hips to penetrate him deeper when he went at his limit.

“Seif…I’m coming…” shivered Zell.

“Me too…” whispered Seifer between his groans.

Zell came first and Seifer did the same quickly after him. Zell fell on his back and Seifer removed himself from his cock and lay down on his side, wrapping his arm around his waist and kissing his neck.

“That was good, Honey…thank you.” Said Seifer.

Zell, who was breathing heavily, hugged him, buried his face on Seifer’s chest. After few minutes, he finally asked him: “Why did you cry?”

Seifer sighted. He didn’t want to answer because he knew Zell would be mad. He just wanted to enjoy this moment, hoping it would never end…

“Seifer?”

He kissed his hair. “I cried…because I was happy.”

Zell looked at him with a worried look. “Seifer…”

Seifer put his hands on his cheeks. “I’m not lying, Honey…I promise. You didn’t hurt me. I’ve realized the time I wasted…I could have loved you a long time ago…We could have been so happy together…”

“Don’t look back…we can be happy now.” Replied Zell, smiling.

“Yes. You’re right.”

They kissed each other and got dressed again after few minutes. Lulu would be worried and they didn’t want to let her alone any longer. Before leaving the room, Seifer caught Zell by the waist whispering on his ear. “I love you.”

Zell smiled and kissed him back. “I know…I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

At the end of the morning, Lulu and Zell were prepared the lunch. Seifer left them and went outside, searching the horizon. Lulu and Zell joined him.

“What are you doing, Baby?” asked Zell with joy.

Seifer looked at him and smiled. “Nothing…”

He went to him and kissed him tenderly. Zell smiled again. “You’re so sweet today…who’s “girly” now?” he asked sarcastically.

“I’m always sweet Chicken…” replied Seifer laughing.

“I take it back! You’re a jerk!” Zell said annoyed.

Lulu laughed when she saw something on the sea. She fixed the horizon.

“Vivi? Zelly? There’s something’s floating on the sea…” she said pointing the horizon with her finger.

Zell released himself from Seifer’s embrace and went near of Lulu. He felt suddenly nervous and worried. After few minutes, he recognized the Bgu and began to panic.

“Oh Shit!! It’s the Garden. They found us!” he yelled. “Come into the ship! Hurry!”

He started to run with Lulu when Seifer grabbed his arm.

“No! Don’t move!” said Seifer.

“Seifer! We don’t have time to argue! Hurry! We have to escape…come ‘on!” replied Zell, but Seifer didn’t let him go.

“I said No! We won’t run away!” repeated Seifer.

“Are you crazy? I told you, we won’t surrender! Now, get your ass in the ship right now!!!” shouted Zell panicked.

“No Zell…it’s time to surrender. I won’t leave.”

“Seifer! Please…”

“Forgive me.”

“But…why?” asked Zell helpless. “How could they have found us here?”

Seifer sighted. “I…called them.”

Zell turned his back and fixed him. “You…what???”

“I called Esthar this morning. I gave them our position…I’m sorry.”

Zell blinked. He fell heavily on the ground and stayed on his knees. “ _Why did he do that?”_ asked Zell to himself.

Seifer approached but he didn’t have time to make a move that Zell jumped on him with anger raising his fist in the air to punch him. “WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” he yelled angry.

Seifer didn’t struggle and started to cry. “I…couldn’t support to see you suffer anymore…because of me.”

Zell let him go. His lover fell into the ground hiding his face to cry. Lulu went to comfort him.

“Vivi…”

“I couldn’t…You two…never complained but I knew you were suffering…I saw your face when you came back from Balamb…I know how much you miss your mother, your friends…I know how much Lulu misses her life in Winhill…I couldn’t ask you to stay with me…it was so selfish…even if I would give everything to stay by your side…” explained Seifer with tears. He couldn’t stop crying.

Zell watched him sadly. Lulu hugged him tightly, trying so hard to comfort him…she was crying too; Zell felt tears flowing along his cheeks. His vision blurred…

“I…won’t be able to live without you Seifer…I can’t…” whispered Zell.

Seifer took Lulu in his arms and went to Zell, wiping the tears on his face. He kissed Lulu on her forehead.

“Lulu, Zell…I love you two…I know our time together was short but…it were the best days of my life…forgive me but I had to do it. I negotiated with Squall…you can return to the Garden, there’s no charge against you…”

“As if we care about it…” replied Zell annoyed.

“I care. You were so proud when you became a seed…it was your dream…”

“No…my dream was to stay by your side with Lulu…my dream was to built a family with the one I love…” answered Zell still crying.

“You have your family, Zell…Lulu will be always by your side, and you have your mother and your friends too…”

“But I want both of you…I want you…”

“I want you too Vivi…” added Lulu.

“I know…forgive me.” Seifer hugged them with his strong arms and closed his eyes to restrain his tears.

It was the right thing to do.


	20. Time to understand

The Bgu sailed on the water to the Deep Sea research center. The entire orphanage group was there with Raijin, Fujin, Laguna, Edea and Cid. Linoa stayed in Deling City with her son. Everyone was relieved that Seifer, Zell and Lulu were safe. On the same time, they were worried about what would happen then. Nobody wanted to break Zell and Lulu’s heart, nobody wanted to make Seifer suffer again…

Squall isolated himself from the others. He wanted to be alone. He didn’t know how he would react with Zell…he was his friend, and he was in love with the worst person in this world: Seifer Almasy. In other times, they hated each other so much; Seifer tried to kill him…but they were lovers now. Zell even betrayed his best friends for him…It was so hard to believe, but it was true in fact.

 _“Zell was probably lonely…and after what he saw in Seifer’s mind, he felt sorry for him…it was definitely the reason why he fell for him…”_ thought Squall.

But Seifer? How could he be in love with Zell? He wasn’t even gay. He was certainly not in love, maybe just grateful?

Squall was interrupted in his thoughts when someone knocked at his door.

“Come in.”

Quistis entered in the room. “Do I disturb you?”

“It’s okay. What’s wrong?”

Quistis closed the door behind her and turned around to fix Squall in the eyes.

“What are you going to do?”

Squall sighted. He didn’t want to talk about it with her. He already knew her point of view.

“Don’t waste your time trying to convince me Quistis. I’m not in the mood for this.”

“I don’t care.”

“Leave me alone.” Replied Squall annoyed.

“I won’t leave.”

“Quistis! I told you to leave now! I don’t wanna argue with you…” Squall began to lose his temper.

“ENOUGH!” yelled Quistis with an angry look. Squall was frozen. He never saw her like this before. It was the first time she yelled at him. “I won’t let this happen…not this time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“We followed you. We were with you since the beginning. We trusted you…but this time is different.” She said calmly, crossing her arms. “Zell and Seifer are my friends. I care about them, as everyone here…except you.”

Squall stayed quiet. “ _Seifer? Your friend?”_ he thought.

“Even your own father and Linoa are thinking the same…”

“You think I’m happy to do this? I have a heart too Quistis! I don’t wanna hurt Zell, Lulu or Seifer…but we don’t have the choice…”

“You have a heart? Then, why don’t you use it for once instead of listening to your fucking brain?” replied sarcastically Quistis. She was particularly irritated.

Squall was shocked. Quistis never became angry or aggressive usually. “Whatever.”

“How would you react if someone took away Linoa and your son from you ?” she asked.

“Linoa and Zack are my family…”

“Zell and Lulu are Seifer’s family! “ added Quistis. “What’s the difference? Because it’s Seifer Almasy? Because of what he did? You know as everyone here it could have been you that Ultimecia chose…You suffered in your past Squall…we all suffered…but it was nothing even close of what Seifer endured in his whole life. You have your friends, your father…you were a hero after the Sorceress’s defeat…Seifer had nothing…not even a friend by his side. He was rejected and hated by everyone…”

“Don’t pity him. He would hate it.”

“You are the one that I pity right now…you’re just a fucking spoiled rotten child! You have everything that Seifer wished: friends, a lover, a child, a father, a good job and you are a hero for everyone. You didn’t have to hide yourself, to lie about your name, to run away because people hated you…”

“I’ve already done everything what I could for Seifer. Believe me or not Quistis but I don’t do it for revenge. Ultimecia is still here, in his head. Matron felt her power in Seifer…I’m afraid Quistis…” confessed Squall.

Quistis crossed her arms. “Linoa and Edea have some of her power too…”

“I know…but Matron and Linoa recovered when we fought against Ultimecia…not Seifer. He’s not strong enough mentally to resist her. I don’t wanna imprison him but I don’t have the choice. Geyser will help him…maybe he could return to a normal state, but I couldn’t set him free until that time.”

“There’s another way.” Explained Quistis.

 

* * *

 

The Bgu arrived in Deep Sea center. Seifer, Zell and Lulu were on the platform. Lulu grabbed Seifer’s leg with her arms and held him tightly fixing the Garden on the sea. Zell was still in Seifer’s arms, crying against his chest. He couldn’t stop…he understood now why Seifer was so weird today…he felt so sad. He wasn’t angry against his lover…in fact, he was touched…touched to see how much Seifer loved him. He did it for him, and for Lulu. It was the expression of his love, but it hurt…

“Zell…stop crying.” Whispered Seifer on his ear, caressing his hair.

But Zell couldn’t stop. He held him tightly. His heart hurt so much…

“I won’t give up on you…” said softly Zell.

Seifer sighted. “Stop it.”

“Seifer…”

“Zell…please. Stop it. Lulu needs you. You can’t do anything for me now.”

Zell stayed quiet but didn’t release Seifer. He knew his lover hoped he could build another life with Lulu, or meet someone else…but it was impossible for Zell.

“I belong to you…” replied Zell.

“Huh?”

“I won’t let anybody touch me…I won’t love anybody but you…”

Seifer closed his eyes and breathed slowly. “Zell, please…”

“I can’t. I’m sorry but I can’t…I won’t give up on you…Lulu neither.”

“Zelly’s right, Vivi. I’ll still love you.” Added Lulu looking at him with tears in her eyes.

Seifer sighted again. He couldn’t convince them, but he loved them so much…he caressed Lulu’s hair with his hand and wrapped his arms around Zell’s waist to press him against his chest, getting him closer.

The entry of the Garden opened and Seifer saw someone running into them. He recognized Selphie with her yellow dress. She was with Irvine. They went to them.

“Hi guys…” said softly Selphie.

Seifer looked at them with a shy smile. Zell was still in his arms and refused to release him.

“Hi…”

Irvine and Selphie kept silent. They felt sad and embarrassed for Zell and for Seifer. They didn’t know what to say to comfort them…there was nothing it could comfort them anyway.  

After few seconds, Seifer saw the others coming out of the Garden. Quistis, Squall, Laguna, Edea and Raijin walked to them. Seifer was a bit surprised to see Raijin without Fujin but he was happy to meet him again after a long time. When everyone arrived at their side, Seifer tried to push Zell away gently.

“Zell…please, release me.” He asked.

But Zell didn’t answer, his arms still gripped around Seifer’s back. He stopped crying but he was afraid. He wanted to protect him so badly…Seifer smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Honey…please. Let me go.” He asked again.

“No…don’t wanna…” whispered Zell against his chest.

Seifer became annoyed. Zell didn’t help him acting like that.

“Zell! Please…things are already hard enough. Let me go!” Said Seifer firmly. “Please.”

Zell cried again but released him from his embrace. Seifer grabbed his face and wiped his tears with his fingers, before giving him a chaste kiss. “I’m sorry…”

Zell nodded and turned his back to grab Lulu in his arms. She didn’t cry. The little bird was still on her shoulder. Seifer faced Squall in the eyes.

“Don’t forget your promise Leonhart!”

“I won’t.” replied Squall. “We’re gonna return to Esthar. We can talk in the Ragnarok during the flight. Let’s go.”

Zell grabbed Seifer’s hand, with Lulu in his arms. Everyone went into the ship in silence. Selphie went into the cockpit with Irvine.

The Ragnarok took off and left the Deep Sea center quickly. Everyone was embarrassed, as if nobody knew what to say. Seifer was sitting with Lulu on his lap and Zell by his side. Nobody pronounced a single word when Squall went to them. He fixed Seifer.

“Can we talk in privacy?” he asked.

Lulu stood up and fixed him in the eyes, in silence. After few seconds, she smiled. “You’ve changed Mister Ice…” she said softly.

Squall blinked. “Mister Ice?”

She laughed. “Yes…I called you like this because I thought you had a cold heart…but something changed in you…”

Seifer looked at them with a surprised look.

“Thank you.” Said Lulu.

Squall blushed but he didn’t answer, turning his attention to Seifer. “Can you come with me?”

“Yes.” Seifer stood up, smiling at Zell who was still worried. He looked at Lulu. She was smiling.

 _“Does she love Squall now? Does she already give up on me? I just want her happiness…but she can love anybody else…not him please Lulu…”_ Thought Seifer.

Lulu grabbed his hand and smiled. “Don’t worry Vivi. You’re the one with Zelly I love…I will never give up on you…but I told you, it’s not the end…”

Seifer frowned. He felt relieved to know she wouldn’t be able to betray him loving Squall instead of him…but he didn’t understand what she meant. She had this confident smile on her face as if she knew what would happen…

Seifer smiled at her and left the room with Squall. They went into another place and faced themselves without talking. They were calm and quiet, just fixing each other on the eyes. Squall was cold as always, without a particular expression on his face. Seifer was tired and annoyed. He just wanted to end this quickly. He couldn’t support to see Zell so sad and worried. He finally broke the silence.

“So?” Asked Seifer.

Squall crossed his arms and pressed his back against the wall behind him. Seifer lost his patience.

“Are you gonna say something or you just want to enjoy your triumph Leonhart?” he asked annoyed.

“Do…you really love Zell?” he asked with a low voice.

Seifer laughed with anger. “I see…you can’t accept this don’t you Puberty Boy?”

Squall fixed. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s hard for you to accept the fact Zell loves me, right? Does it disgust you to know that I fuck your precious friend?” he asked smirking.

“Stop it…”

“You wanna know something Leonhart? We fucked this morning too. I sucked his cock, I fingered him, I entered him, I came in his ass, i…” explained Seifer getting closer to his rival.

“I SAID STOP IT!” yelled Squall, blushing.

Seifer laughed. “It disgusts you. I don’t give a fuck about what you think.”

Squall faced him. “Are you not ashamed to talk about him this way?”

“The one who should be ashamed here is you. YOU make him cry right now.” Answered Seifer coldly.

Squall looked down.

“Do you think I consider him like my fuck toy or something like that? Of course I love him!”

Squall stayed quiet.

“You saw what they did to me. You can’t imagine how dirty I felt after what I endured…I wasn’t even capable enough to touch myself after that…” confessed Seifer.

Squall didn’t speak. He listened to him carefully. It was the first time he and Seifer talked calmly like this…it was the first time Seifer opened his heart.

“When Zell took me away from Esthar with Lulu, I was wondering why…when he explained what happened in Geyser’s laboratory, I was angry…and ashamed. I was thinking he pitied me but he confessed to me. He kept saying “I love you”…like Lulu used to say when I met her. I realized I probably always loved him too and I refused to admit it or maybe I didn’t understand my own feelings toward him…I mean… I always felt some tenderness for him even if I kept insulting him all the time…” continued Seifer.

“Why now?” asked suddenly Squall.

“Because…I was tired to run away, tired to refuse to love…the same way as you when you realized about your feelings for Linoa. I needed to feel loved…and it was great. To be honest, I would never have imagined I could fall for a man because I wasn’t gay in first place and because of what they did to me…Zell is the one I love.” Said Seifer smiling sadly.

“So…why did you call to surrender?” asked Squall.

“Because I love him. I saw his pain. He missed his mother, his friends…his life. I’ve tried so many times to convince him to go back but he refused every time. He kept saying he loved me and he chose me…I wanted to give his life back. Lulu will be okay if he’s with her, I’m not worried for them now…just sad. I wished I could stay with them a little bit longer…” answered Seifer.

For the first time in his life, he was honest with himself. He didn’t care to be weak or ashamed in front of his rival…he lost. He didn’t want to pretend anymore…it was useless now.

“You won Leonhart…I still wondered why you kept wining against me…even if I know I’m stronger than you, even if I try so hard, you always win…” said Seifer looking down.

“Seifer…I never wanted to be in competition with you…” told Squall.

“I know…but we were in competition since we met Squall…”

“Yes…that’s true. We weren’t so different after all. We wanted the same thing: to protect ourselves from pain…we just acted in completely opposite way to do it…”

“It worked for you…”

“I used to think the same way for you but…we suffered even more, acting like that.”

They stayed quiet, thinking about what they said. It was true. They were so afraid to be loved and be alone again that they destroyed everything around them…they hurt their friends…and in the end, they were even more in pain.

“You know…I’ve got a son with Linoa.”

Seifer looked at him. “Oh…Laguna told me she was pregnant, but I didn’t know she already gave birth…what’s his name?”

“Zack.”

Seifer smiled. “Congratulations…”

“Thanks…” replied Squall blushing.

The two weren’t good at this. They used to fight for anything. It was easier…than to express some embarrassing feelings like now.   

“You know…when we were on the road earlier…Quistis came to talk to me. She made me realize something about you…”

“What?”

“That…you have a family too with Zell and Lulu. I have my friends and my father, but Zack and Linoa are so precious to me. They are my reason to live, my family…and I understand now what I’ve done when I came to Winhill…I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost them, if someone took them away from me…but it’s what I’ve done to you. I chased you away because I was afraid you could hurt Linoa and my child in the future; and when I found you, I didn’t see the one you became, the daughter you had…I just saw Seifer Almasy, the sorceress’s knight, my eternal rival, the one who hurt my wife…I didn’t see Lulu, or Zell…”

Seifer listened to him without saying a single word. Squall was different, Lulu was right…

“I understand better now…I realize how much you care about Zell, about Lulu, and I feel ashamed for what I’ve done. I’m sorry…”

“But?” asked Seifer.

“Huh?”

“But…you won’t release me because you’re afraid of that bitch could come back…I already know about this Leonhart…” said Seifer.

“No! I mean…yes, I’m afraid…but she could come back using Edea or Linoa’s mind too, they have her power too…Quistis made me realize this earlier…so she suggested me something better for everyone…” explained Squall.

 “What?” asked Seifer. “ _Did Quistis convince him? Why? Can I be free?”_ thought Seifer.

“Geyser will help you. Laguna promised me he will keep an eye on him…but you don’t have to be imprisoned for this…I mean, you can go back to Winhill and come to Esthar regularly to heal your mind with Geyser…what do you think about it?” asked Squall with a smile.

“You mean…I can return to Winhill? I’ll be free???” asked Seifer in shock.

“Only if you agree to go to Esthar sometimes. Geyser won’t push you too hard…”

“But…I’m still wanted around the world. If someone comes to Winhill and meets me, everything would start again…” Seifer was still worried.

“No. Balamb, Trabia, Galbadia and Esthar dropped the charges against you. I met with my father all the authorities’ leaders and we prove you were under Ultimecia’s control. Don’t worry, we didn’t mention what they did to you…so we cleaned your name. You can be Seifer Almasy again.”

Seifer stayed quiet, as if he didn’t understand what happened. He couldn’t believe it. He was free…Squall smiled and put his hand on his shoulder.

“You know, after you left with Zell and Lulu, the Winhill’s mayor came to Esthar. He kept harassing me and my father calling us every day to complain. He wanted you come back with Lulu. He said he didn’t care about who you were. After few days, the entire Winhill’s population called us and organized demonstrations or petitions for your freedom. They said they needed you and you were probably under Ultimecia’s power before knowing it was the truth in fact. I started to become crazy…” he explained laughing.

“Really?? They really did this?” asked Seifer in shock; he couldn’t believe it. People cared about him so much even after knowing who he was.

“Yes…everyone harassed me every day, my friends, my father, Linoa, even Raijin and Fujin…especially them. They missed you.”

Seifer sighted. “Fujin is not here…”

Squall looked down. “I know. Raijin told me she felt too guilty to confront you. That’s why she didn’t come with us today…”

Seifer smiled. “I’m…not sure about this…”

They kept silent. Seifer looked at Squall still worried. “So…I’m free?”

“If you agree with the terms of our accord, yes.”

Seifer nodded and felt relieved. “I agree…I never imagined you would do that for me…I don’t know what to say…” he said with a shy voice.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you.”

“I should be the one to apologize…”

“It’s okay. I think you should go to see Zell and Lulu now…” Said Squall with a smile.

Seifer agreed and started to walk when he turned back and looked at Squall with happiness. “Thank you Squall. Thank you so much…”

“Just go. They’re waiting for you.”

Seifer ran and returned into the cockpit. Zell was looking at the window with a sad look. Lulu was by his side with Matron. When they saw Seifer, everyone fixed him with a worried look. Lulu stood up and smiled at him. She jumped in his arms and he kissed her.

“You knew?” He asked to her.

“Yes…I saw in his eyes he wouldn't hurt you again…” she said with happiness.

Zell stood up and approached. “Seifer?”

Squall entered in the room. He looked at Quistis and smiled. She seemed to understand and she crossed her arms smiling at him. Laguna, Irvine, Edea and Raijin didn’t notice anything, waiting for an explanation.

Seifer put Lulu on the ground and held Zell tightly in his strong arms. Zell felt a bit surprised, he was still worried. “Seifer?”

“I’m free now…Zell…I’m free!”


	21. Time to celebrate

One week later.

Seifer, Zell and Lulu returned to Winhill. Everyone was so happy to see them again. They organized a little party with Irvine and Selphie’s help to welcome them. The orphanage group, Linoa and her son Zack, Raijin and Zell’s Ma joined them too. Fujin didn’t come. She still couldn’t confront Seifer even if he told Raijin he wasn’t mad at her…it was just too hard for her, she probably needed more time. Edea didn’t come too. She knew Seifer was still fragile mentally. He would be afraid and ashamed to see her after what happened. They didn’t see everything in Geyser’s laboratory when they explored Seifer’s mind. There was worse…things she couldn't support to remember. Seifer’s pain, his tears, his pleas when he begged her to stop. How could she face him again? But she felt relieved to know he was finally free and happy with his lover and his daughter.  

Three weeks later, Zell was still in Winhill with Seifer and Lulu. Everyone was already returned to Balamb but he got a special time off. It was in the middle of afternoon, Zell was with Seifer in his workshop. Lulu was at school. Seifer stood up and went to Zell who was reading a magazine in front of his desk.

“Are you coming? I’m gonna close the shop.” Said Seifer.

“Huh? Already?” asked Zell closing his magazine.

“Yes. Let’s go.”                  

“Where?”

“At home.”

Zell followed Seifer silently. When they walked in the streets, some people saluted them politely. Seifer took Zell’s hand and continued to walk. Zell blushed but he held his hand smiling. They were a couple after all, it was normal. But it was strange on the same time. They were together since five months but it seemed to be longer. Seifer was so self-assured, probably because he was happy now. They passed the chocobos farm.

“There wasn’t a farm here before. I remember there was just a sign to prevent that there was a frequent passage of chocobos…” explained Zell.

“Yes. Lulu told me that. But they decided to develop a breeding about three years ago.” Replied Seifer.

They finally arrived at home. Zell closed the door behind him but Seifer was already kissing him on the neck.

“That’s why you wanted to go back?” asked Zell smiling, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

“You leave tomorrow. I don’t wanna waste this precious time.” Answered Seifer with a seductive ton.

“What a good suggestion…” approved Zell kissing him.

They moved to the red couch and lay down still kissing each other. Zell pushed Seifer on his back and sat down on the top of him, stripping. Seifer enjoyed the view and smiled, touching his lover on his chest with his soft hands. Zell took his hands with his. They looked each other without saying a word during a short time before kissing again. Zell took off Seifer’s clothes and lowered his head to lick his nipples. His tongue ran along his muscular torso and went to his belly button. Seifer stroked gently Zell’s hair and enjoyed each feeling. He felt his mouth covering his hard cock and he grabbed Zell’s neck raising his body to see him. Zell was still on the top, on his knees, giving Seifer a wonderful view of his ass. He felt suddenly Seifer moving, pushing his cock deeper on his throat, and introduced two wet fingers on his hole. Zell moaned softly, sucking Seifer’s dick hungrily.

 It was so good but he couldn’t wait anymore. He pulled away his mouth and forced Seifer to lie down on his back again before impaling himself on his large organ. Seifer grabbed his hips and helped him.

“Always impatient Chicken…” said Seifer laughing.

Zell pushed roughly deeper his cock on his ass, ignoring the pain. “Don’t…you ever…shut up?” whispered Zell between moans.

He made a pause before starting to move. Zell jerked up his head murmuring Seifer’s name. It wasn’t their first time, but it was still so good. Love and lust were mixing…they had never enough.

Seifer raised his back to sit down and grabbed Zell’s ass with his hands, pushing his cock deeper inside of him and riding him with the perfect rhythm. Zell enveloped his naked shoulders with his strong arms and kissed him on the neck.

“Fuck…so good…” moaned Zell.

Seifer went faster, thrusting him harder but never roughly enough to hurt him. He always tried to be gentle even if sometimes it was hard because his desire and his lust for Zell grew up. He knew better that anyone the pain and he wouldn’t support his lover could feel it.

Seifer stroked Zell’s penis with his hand, licking one of his nipple on the same time, still thrusting him. Zell shivered and abandoned his own body to his lover. He gave him too much pleasure that he felt he was near to come.

“Seifer…I’m…gonna…” he muttered.

“Me too…”

They reached orgasm in the same time, before collapsing on the couch. They couldn’t move. They were too exhausted for that. Seifer was on his back, caressing Zell’s back who was still impaled on him, down on his chest.

“I don’t wanna go…” said Zell sadly.

Seifer touched his cheek, tracing the line of his tattoo with his fingers. “Don’t you miss your mother and your job?” he asked.

“Yes…but I wanna stay with you and Lulu.”

“I wish you could stay a bit longer but it’s not like you won’t come back. I’ll come to Balamb to visit your Ma. That way, we could at least see each other, even if it's just in passing.”

“It will be great! Ma loves Lulu.”

“Yeah. Lu either. I think she reminds her Mody…”

“Mody?”

“Her grandmother. She was kind, like your mom.”

Zell smiled. “She loves you too, you know?”

“You think so?”

“Of course! She wanted so badly to become a grandmother and she was worried to see me single. But she’s relieved now.”

Seifer looked at him smiling. “I suppose she hoped a better match for his only son…”

Zell fixed him annoyed. “Definitely! But I don’t think there ‘s anybody else in this world who could stand me, so I’m stuck with you!” he replied with irony.

Seifer smiled sadly.

“No, seriously…don’t say that. I’m happy with you and Lulu. Ma’s glad for me. It’s a bit strange, I know. I would never have imagined we could be together with a child…we used to hate each other for so long. But I don’t care about the past.”

“I guess you’re right…”

They hugged each other, in silence. Seifer kissed his forehead and asked him: “Do you think it will work between us? I mean…it’s just about five months we are together…”

“Why do you ask me that? I thought it was serious between us.” Demanded Zell worried.

“it is. It’s just…Long-distance relationships almost never last very well…”replied Seifer.

“I know…I thought about it.”

“Zell, listen…don’t think too much about it. I’m just worried, that’s all. I don’t ask you anything.”

“I’m worried too. I’m gonna miss you two, but I’m sure Squall will let me come back soon.”

“Yes. We shouldn’t waste our time with these stupid thoughts. There are better things that can be done…” suggested Seifer.

“Mmmh…you’re full of good suggestions today!” replied Zell laughing.

“Always!”

They made love all the day, enjoying each minute, each second together until the end of the afternoon. Lulu would finish school soon so they went outside to wait for her. They walked in the streets, holding hands and talking. They stopped to watch the flower fields. 

“It’s nice...Laguna told me his wife had a flower shop when they lived here.” Said Zell.

“Lu talked me about her. She was also a bartender. She used to help a lot of people. Everybody here loved her.” Replied Seifer.

“Like you…” commented Zell.

“Huh?”

“People here don’t like strangers. They didn’t welcome us very well the first time we came here with Squall and the others. They said strangers brought problem with them, but they accepted you, the same way they loved Raine.”  Explained Zell.

Seifer smiled. He put his hand on Zell’s hair and stroked it gently. “I love the way you and Lulu make me feel. I always forget the one I am, the mistakes and all the things I’ve done when I listen to you. It means a lot for me…”

Zell captured his face with his hands. “I don’t try to make you feel better. It’s the way I see you, it’s the way you are.”

“You do; you make me feel better. All the pain and bad memories disappear when I am with you two. You and Lulu already gave me everything that I can wish.” He confessed.

“You gave us more Seifer. When you love someone, you give every part of you. You give everything you have, that’s why you mean so much to us.” Explained Zell.

Seifer smiled and kissed him, wrapping him by the waist.

“We should go. Lulu ‘s gonna wait for us.” Said Zell.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

They walked quietly, looking the flowers on the road, saluting people in the streets. When they arrived in front of the school, they stopped and sat on the bench.

“Seifer?”

“Mmm?”

“Huh…do you think…no never mind.” Said Zell before changing his mind.

“Tell me.”

He scratched his head and blushed. He finally stood up and fixed Seifer with embarrassment.

“Does it bother you if…I adopt Lulu?” he asked softly.

Seifer blinked in surprise. “You…what?”

“Yeah…I mean…I know you adopted her, but she’s important for me either, so if you agree, maybe I could become her parent too?” he demanded nervously.

Seifer stayed silent.

“But if it bothers you, it’s ok. I understand, don’t worry…I mean…We are almost a family together so…I figure out we could consider it but it’s maybe a bit sudden…”

Seifer grabbed him and held him against his chest. Zell was surprised, hoping he didn’t say something he made Seifer upset.

“Seifer?”

“I’m happy.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t ask you before because I was afraid about your answer. I didn’t want to force you…I thought it was too soon to ask you, but I’m so relieved now…”

“So…it’s okay for you?”

“Sure! I’m gonna make a demand to the Mayor tomorrow.”

“Great!! Thank you!”

“Thanks to you Zell. It’s important for me. I know you would take care of her if something happened to me, but things will be official now. Lulu will be glad when we’ll tell her.”

“Yes. I’m so relieved now. I should have asked you before.”

“It’s okay. We need more time to know each other better and we have a whole life ahead of us for this.”

Zell left the next morning. It was hard for him to let them but he had to go. He didn’t come back to the Garden since five months. Lulu and Seifer accompanied him at the station and they said good bye.  He hoped he would return soon because he missed them already.

 

* * *

 

One month later.

Seifer was in his workshop. Lulu was at school. They missed Zell but they called him every day. They returned to their previous life. Winhill was still the peaceful place. Foreigners never stayed for a long time and it was a good thing. Raijin came to see them. He had a long talk with Seifer and everything was forgotten between them, even if Fujin was still missing. Seifer tried to call her but she was too ashamed to face him or to talk. He wasn’t mad against her or against Raijin, they were his friends. He regretted to have missed their wedding, he would have liked to be there this day but he was happy for them.

Someone entered in the shop. “Seifer?” asked a familiar voice.

He looked at the door and stood up from his chair.

“Quistis? What a surprise! Come in!” he replied going to welcome her. He saw she wasn’t alone. Squall and Laguna were there too. “Oh! Hi guys! I didn’t see you.”

“Hi Seifer! How are you?” demanding Laguna holding his hand.

“Fine, thanks. What about you?”

“Not bad. How is Lulu?”

“Good. She’s at school. So what about the wedding? Did you already choose a date?”

“Yes. That’s why we’re here.” Replied Laguna. “We’re gonna marry in six months. I hope you’ll come with Lulu.”

“Sure. I’m happy for you two.”

“Thanks.” Laguna Blushed.

They were disturbed by a phone ring. Squall picked up his phone on his pocket. “Sorry, I have to answer.” He hung up and left outside.

Quistis looked at Seifer with a smile. “I came to ask you something else.”

“Yeah?” demanded Seifer with surprise.

“Would you like to be my witness for my wedding?” she asked.

Seifer frowned. “Me?”

“Yes.”

He was really stunned. He never would have imagined she could ask him that.

“You don’t wanna?” demanded Quistis with a worried look.

“No! I mean, yes, I want it. I’m just surprised you chose me. I thought you have asked to Selphie or Irvine, but yes, of course!” he explained.

“I was really touched about what you said to Laguna when you called us to surrender…I realized you cared about me and it means a lot to me. I thought you hated me. It wasn’t easy between us at the Garden…” she said.

“I wasn’t easy either. You’ve been fired because of me.”

“I’ve been fired because of myself, Seifer…and maybe If only I could have stopped you at Timber, nothing would have happened…I’m sorry.” She told him.

“Don’t. No need to talk about this again. It’s the past. Anyway, I’ll be your witness.” He replied. He didn’t want to think about these bad memories.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Squall retuned inside. “Sorry for the wait.”

“It’s okay. So? What about you Squally-boy?” asked Seifer.

“Can’t you call me just by my name please?” replied Squall rolling his eyes annoyed.

“What a sensitive boy you are!” he commented laughing. “How are Linoa and Zack?”

“Good. Thanks.”

Seifer fixed him. He knew Squall wasn’t at ease. He seemed to be annoyed by something and was nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“What?”

“There’s something wrong with you Squall. Tell me.”

Squall kept silent during few seconds before answering: “You’re right. There’s something wrong…”

“Spill it out.” Repeated Seifer annoyed.

“You promised to come to Esthar.” He replied coldly.

Seifer turned his back sighting irritated. “I know.”

“Two months already passed. When do you intend to go?” asked Squall.

“Later. I didn’t forget”

“When?”

“I don’t know.”

“I won’t leave until you give me an answer. I repeat: When?”

“I TOLD YOU LATER!” yelled angry Seifer.

Quistis and Laguna fixed Squall with instance. Seifer was still fragile, he wasn’t ready yet and they didn’t want to force him, but Squall was still anxious about Ultimecia.

“You promised me.” Told Squall.

“I know. You still don’t trust me Leonhart, don’t you?”

“It’s hard for me to trust you Seifer, and you know why. I can understand it’s hard for you, but…”

“My ass! You can’t understand!”

Squall didn’t answer to his insult. He needed to be more patient with him because he knew Zell would never forgive him if something happened to his lover. He would be probably furious if he knew he asked Seifer to go to Esthar, that was why he sent him in mission when he came here.

“Do you still hear her voice?” asked Squall.

Seifer sighted. “Not often. She lets me when I’m alright.”

Squall approached. “Seifer, I don’t want to force you but you need to do something about this. Matron and Linoa have her power but you’re the one who hear her voice. We should act to do something before it is too late. I don’t wanna make the same mistakes…”

Seifer looked down, still on his back. “I know…but I need more time.”

“Seifer…” whispered Quistis sadly.

“I’ll come in two weeks during Lulu’s holidays.” He finally promised.

Squall looked Laguna who nodded trying to convince Squall to not insist more. “Fine.”


	22. time to experiment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> Day off tomorow so i've the time to post another chapter. Thanks for your kudos!!

Two weeks later, Seifer went to Esthar with Lulu as he promised. Zell was still on mission, but they called him every day. Seifer didn’t tell him because he knew he would worry too much. He was on the train with Lulu. The little girl stared at the window with joy. Seifer felt a bit relieved to have her precious angel by his side. She helped him to be strong. He was nervous to meet again Geyser. He knew he would remember some bad memories and he was still afraid to face that bitch again, but he promised Squall.

Lulu looked at Seifer who was fixing the ground, thinking about what it would happen this time in Geyser’s laboratory. She put her hand on his lap.

“Vivi?”

Seifer blinked, interrupted in his thoughts. “Yeah?”

“You…don’t feel well? You seem to be nervous.”

He sighted. He couldn’t hide his feelings with her. “Yes, but it’s okay, don’t worry.”

She pressed her little body against Seifer’s chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I’ve a bad feeling…I don’t want that doctor makes you suffer again…”

He caressed her hair tenderly. “I know, but I have to see him. I gave my word to Squall.”

“Yes, I understand but it’s not good for you…just be careful okay? Don’t let him push you too hard.” She demanded with a serious ton.

Seifer laughed. “Yes mommy!”

She smiled and held him. He took her in his arms and let her sat on his lap. “Lulu?”

“Yes Vivi?”

“Do you know how to read the future?”

Lulu fixed him with surprise. “Why do you ask me that?”

“When Squall came to catch us on the island, you told me it wasn’t the end…as if you knew what would happen.” He said.

She caressed his cheek smiling. “No, I don’t. But I can feel people’s emotions even if they are far away from me and when it has a link with you…I knew all our friends didn’t want to arrest you and they would help you this time because they were determined.” she replied.

Seifer frowned. “I don’t understand…this link is just with me?”

“Yes, I think I have a special link with you. Before we met, I always felt emotions but nothing more. But it was different with you. I could read your thoughts…it was as if you talked to me, and I realized I felt the same way with everyone who was connected with you, especially Zelly because he loved you more than anybody…” she explained.

“But…why me?” he asked.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter anyway, don’t you think?”

“Yes, but it’s strange. Why you never told me that?” he demanded.

“I was afraid.” She confessed.

“Afraid? About what?”

“To lose you. I mean…I knew “she” controlled you and she could read your thoughts too. I was afraid you thought I was like “her”. I love you, I will never hurt you, but I wasn’t sure you would believe me, after what she did to you…” she explained blushing.

Seifer stayed quiet. He was embarrassed. He never would have imagined Lulu was so protectionist with him. “You’re not “her” Lulu. Do you know…what she did to me?”

“Not exactly. I’ve tried to understand but there’re words that I don’t know…”she” controlled you and forced you to do bad things, she hit you…but there’re other things…these are worse because it made you cry and suffer but I can’t understand what was it…” she told him sadly.

“Ah…I see. What kind of words did you not understand?” he asked.

“Hum…you said the word “rape” often…I wanted to ask you but each time you heard or said this word, you became disgusted and scared. I’ve tried to research the word in a dictionary but when I found it, I didn’t read the definition…” she admitted.

Seifer blushed. He just wanted to hide in a hole and never come out. “Why?”

“Because, I felt I shouldn’t. I know it’s something horrible but I don’t want to understand because if I do, I would never be able to hold my promise…”

“What promise?”

“The one you asked me when we were at the beach. You made me promise to never be nasty with people because you hated it.” She said looking at him.

Seifer smiled. He touched her face and began to cry. Lulu wiped his tears with her little wrists.

“Vivi, don’t cry please…”

He hugged her closely and kissed her cheek. “You…you are the best thing I ever had in my life Lulu. I knew you loved me…but I didn’t know it was at this point. It means a lot to me.”

“Vivi loves me the same way I love him. I’ll erase all the pain you have in your heart the same way you did for me when I lost Popy and Mody.” She reassured him pressing her forehead against Seifer’s.

“I love you Honey…I love you.”

“I know Vivi. I love you too.”

They held each other in silence during the road. Lulu felt asleep in Seifer’s arms.

 

* * *

 

Zell returned at the Garden. When he came back from Winhill, he had been sent directly in mission just with Selphie. They talked about their relationships with Irvine and Seifer and it was a bit strange for Zell. Selphie was his best friend so he felt no shame to talk with her. She gave him some advices to spice his sexual Life with his lover but he didn’t need to. Seifer was enough good at this, even if Zell was still worried about him. When they had sex, sometimes Seifer blinked or was nervous. That fucking bitch had traumatized him, raping and brutalizing him every time he disobeyed her…his body still bore the stigmas of his abuses. Seifer never talked about it, probably because he felt too ashamed and to not worry him more. But it was hard for Zell to feel so useless. Selphie suggested him to not push him to talk if he wasn’t ready and he was agreed with her. Seifer needed more time.

He felt relieved to arrive at the Garden. The road on the train exhausted him. Selphie left him to meet Irvine in Balamb. It was the first time in five months that Zell returned at the Garden. When he arrived in the main hall, some students glared at him. Zell didn’t notice, he was too tired for this. He went directly to his room and took a shower and slept few hours.

When he woke up, it was already lunchtime. He stood up and ran to the cafeteria, hoping there were still hotdogs at this time. He arrived quickly in the refectory. Students fixed him. Zell noticed some of them were full of hatred and contempt. He frowned, wondering why they glared at him like that but he didn’t leave. He ordered some hot dogs but there was nothing left as always. He felt a heavy atmosphere around him. Everyone looked at him when two cadets muttered something at him.

“Traitor!”

Zell turned around abruptly. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” He shouted angrily.

“I said you’re a FUCKING TRAITOR!” repeated one of the students. “You betrayed us to protect the bastard Almasy!”

Zell pushed him roughly. “DON’T YOU DARE TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE THIS, BASTARD!”

“Fucking faggot! Why don’t you go back to see your knight, princess?”

“Yeah! You’re the Almasy’s whore now! You shouldn’t be here.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! I don’t have anything to prove or to justify!” snapped back Zell furious.

“If you were so desperate Dincht, you should have come to see us instead of this fucking bastard, I could have fucked you…” suggested the student laughing at him.

“This son of bitch betrayed us : he destroyed Trabia Garden, he fought against us with Galbadia…how could you do that? Did you forget who is he? What’s wrong with you Dincht? You betrayed Squall for this fucking failure!!”

Zell clenched his wrists. He kept repeating their words in his head: “ _The bastard Almasy.. Almasy’s whore.. fucking traitor..son of bitch..fucking failure.._ ”…enough. It was enough. He couldn’t handle to hear a single word anymore. They talked about Seifer, his lover, the one he loved…they didn’t have the right to say that. They knew nothing about him, they couldn’t understand…How dared they pronounce even Seifer’s name?

“What’s wrong princess? Lost your tongue, have you?”

“He probably sucked his knight’s dick too hard!!”

They laughed at him when Zell burst out with rage and jumped at them hitting violently the two students in the face. They fell on the ground but Zell didn’t stop to hit them. He was furious and he couldn’t contain his anger.

“HOW DARE YOU? FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT!!” Yelled Zell still punching them.

Everybody froze, no one tried to stop him because they knew they would have been kicked. Zell was a strong opponent with a hot temperament. He was respected after Ultimecia’s defeat…but now, he was with Seifer. Nobody understood him, because they used to hate each other. Zell even betrayed his best friends for him…it was something hard to accept for most of people in the Garden. Irvine and Selphie arrived at the cafeteria.

“What’s going on?” asked Selphie to a student.

“Zell is fighting with two cadets! He’s gonna kill them!” explained the girl panicked.

Irvine ran with Selphie and they finally saw Zell. He was uncontrollable. He destroyed everything around him and continued to punch the two men. Irvine grabbed Zell by the waist.

“Zell! Stop it!” shouted Irvine.

“LET ME GO!” Zell struggled.

“Zell, please! Calm down!” demanded Selphie.

But he couldn’t hear them; he was too enraged for that. He continued to struggle but Irvine was taller than him, blocking his moves.

“Zell! Listen, you’re gonna kill them! Please stop it!” begged Irvine who was already exhausted to restrain him.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M TRYING TO DO? LET ME GO RIGHT NOW!” replied Zell.

“ENOUGH!” shouted Selphie, slapping Zell’s face. She turned around and fixed the two men. “What are you waiting for? An invitation? Get out before he kicks your ass!”

The two cadets ran and left the cafeteria quickly. Irvine released Zell. He was still angry but he seemed to calm down. Selphie looked at him worried.

“Let’s get out of here. We will talk outside.” She proposed.

The three friends left and went to the campus. Zell sat on a bench and fixed the ground.

“So? What happened?” asked Irvine.

“I don’t wanna talk about this.” Zell didn’t look at them.

Selphie sat on his left. “Zell, I’m sorry for the slap, but I didn’t know what to do. You were completely crazy…”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Tell us. What happened?” asked again Irvine.

Zell sighted. “They provoked me. They said I was Seifer’s whore, that I was a traitor…”

“Zell…” whispered Selphie.

“I don’t give a shit about what they think about me! I’ve no regret and I don’t have to justify to anybody. I became crazy because they insulted Seifer.”  Zell crossed his arms against his chest.

“I understand, but people know the Seifer we used to fight. They can’t understand…” started to explain Irvine.

“I know that Irvine! But…I couldn’t let these bastards insult my lover like this. I thought that I proved my worth when I fought Ultimecia with you, guys. People should understand that if I do something, it’s because I have a good reason for this…” said Zell.

“Yeah, you’re right…maybe we should talk to Squall about that?” proposed Selphie.

“What for? It would change nothing.” Affirmed Zell.

“But…” interjected Selphie.

“No, Selphie. Thank you guys for your help, but it’s okay. If everybody here thinks the same way as these jerks, they can eat shit, I don’t care! Don’t talk about this to Squall please! Do I have your word?” he asked fixing them.

Irvine and Selphie looked at each other. “If that’s what you want, ok.” Replied finally Irvine.

“Thanks.”

“So? What are you gonna do now?” asked Selphie.

“I’m gonna visit my Ma. This place sucks!” muttered Zell leaving.”See you!”

Selphie was staring at him, concerned. Irvine put his hand on her hip. “We should talk to Squall…I’m worried for Zell…” she said to her lover.

“Me too, Baby…we’re gonna think about it.”

“What about Seifer?”

“He doesn’t need to know. He would feel guilty.” Told Irvine.

 

* * *

 

Seifer and Lulu arrived at Esthar Station. Kiros and Quistis were waiting for them.

“Lulu! Seifer! Welcome! Nice to see you again.” Said with joy Quistis.

“Hi guys.” Replied Seifer with a neutral ton. Kiros understood he wasn’t really happy to come back here and he tried to comfort him with a smile.

“Hi Quisty! Hi Mister Cool!” added Lulu smiling.

Kiros looked at her. “Mister Cool?”

“Yes Mister! You’re so cool with your hair like this and I like you better with these clothes. The robe doesn’t suit you well.” She explained.

Kiros blushed but smiled. He caressed her head. “Thank you Lulu.”

“Let’s go.” Proposed Quistis.

On the road, Quistis and Lulu never stopped talking. Quistis was kind and affectionate. She really liked Lulu and it was mutual for the little girl. Seifer looked Kiros.

“I suppose the ice princess is there?” he demanded.

 Kiros sighted. “Yes. Does it bother you?”

“Not really. Can we do it today?”

“You mean, Geyser’s treatment?”

“Yes.”

“Huh…probably. I figured out you wanted to take a break for the rest of the day. It’s such a long way from Winhill with the train.”

“Yeah, it is but I wanna end this quickly.” Sighted Seifer exhausted.

“Seifer…you need to rest. You seem to be tired.” Interjected Quistis.

“I can’t sleep. I’m too nervous for that, it’s not like I could relax.” Replied Seifer annoyed.

“I’m sorry…” whispered Quistis embarrassed.

Seifer looked at her with a regretful look. “Sorry, I didn’t want to be mean.”

“You have the right to.” Commented Quistis still looking down.

“But you two don’t have to handle it.”

Everyone stayed quiet during the rest of the road. Lulu put her head against Seifer’s arm. It was her way to express her feelings and to say to him “ _I’m here.”_ He understood very well and wrapped his arm around her shoulder to hold her closer.

When they finally arrived at the Presidential Palace, they went to Laguna’s office. He was with Squall and Geyser.

“Hi guys!” said cheerfully Laguna. But he understood quickly that nobody was in good mood. Seifer saluted him politely, but Lulu approached and joked with him. Even if he was old now, Laguna was still a child in his heart and he really liked to talk and laugh with Lulu. She reminded him Ellone when she was young.

Squall approached and fixed Seifer. “Thanks for coming.”

Seifer glared at him. “Let’s not waste any time. Can we start now?”

“Already? Don’t you want to rest a little bit?” asked Squall surprised.

“No. Let’s go.”

“But…” Squall didn’t have the time to finish his sentence that Seifer yelled at him.

“Do you figure out I can relax now? How could I? Let’s end this now!”

Squall felt a little ashamed. He knew Seifer was nervous and probably afraid. He turned around to look at Geyser.

“We can if it’z what you want Mizter Almazy…follow me.” Agreed Geyser who left the room.

Seifer took Lulu in his arms. “You stay with Quistis, Honey?”

“Sure. Be careful Vivi…” she said kissing his cheek.

“Promised. See you later.” He put her on the ground and smiled to Quistis. He finally left the room with Squall and Laguna. Kiros stayed with Lulu and Quistis.

 

 

* * *

 

Zell was in his home at Balamb. His Ma prepared him a dinner and he stayed with her all the night. He explained what happened at the Garden. His Ma was his first confident. He knew he could tell her everything, she would understand. She tried to comfort him the best way she could.

“Don’t let them harass you, Honey. They’re not worth it.” She said.

“I know, but I couldn’t let them insult Seifer like this.” Replied annoyed Zell.

“I understand, but you can’t work in such bad environment. If you fight every time, you won’t be able to work with anybody.”

“What can I do?”

“Talk to Squall. I’m sure he would help you.”

“Don’t wanna. I already know what he’s gonna say.”

“Then, talk to Raijin and Fujin. They are the disciplinary committee.”

“Not anymore. They quitted and work with Squall now. Plus, they took a break. Raijin told me Fujin didn’t feel very well lately.”

“She still feels guilty about Seifer?”

“Yes, but it’s not just that. She feels sick. They went to Deling City to see a good doctor.”

“Oh…I hope it’s nothing serious?”

“I don’t think so. Maybe just stress…”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Anyway, I don’t wanna think about it anymore. Don’t say a word to Seifer please. I don’t wanna worry him, he would feel guilty.”

“I won’t, Honey. You know you can trust me.”

“Yeah. Thanks for listening.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job!”

“You’re the best for this!”

Zell felt finally better after his conversation with his Ma and was smiling again. She held him in her arms and kissed his forehead.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes Ma. I could eat a chocobo!”

“Ok. Let’s go set the table.”

 

 

* * *

 

Seifer was in Geyser’s laboratory. He insisted with Laguna and Squall to make this experience alone with the doctor because he didn’t want they could see other embarrassing memories in his mind. They had agreed but they stayed behind the window to assist at the procedure. They couldn’t see the screens like the other time, but they could observe Seifer and Geyser’s actions. This way, they could act if anything went wrong.

Seifer was laid down on the same table with electrodes on his forehead and a long probe on his arm, connected to machines.

“Try to relax Mizter Almazy…” said Geyser, approaching with a syringe.

“What is this?” asked Seifer suspicious.

“A zedative Mizter. You need to be azleep for thiz experienze…”

“No way!” replied irritably Seifer.

“But…”

“Fuck off Geyser! Do you really think I trust you after all what you’ve done to me?” he asked with a furious look.

“…”

“Maybe I was young but I couldn’t forget your ugly face and you fucking annoying voice!” continued Seifer.

“I’m pretty imprezzed Mizter Almazy…but why did you come here if you don’t truzt me then?” asked the doctor.

“I didn’t have the choice, but I promise you if you try anything else to me, I’ll fucking kill you!” Seifer threatened.

“Zo…it’z our zecret Zeifer…don’t worry, I couldn’t do anything to you. Prezident Loire iz focuzed on me all the time. But you need to take thiz zedative. We can’t explore your mind if you’re awake. Pleaze.” Explained Geyser.

“Fine!” finally agreed Seifer.

“Good. Now, relax Zeifer…” He administered the drug and returned to his computer.

After few minutes, Seifer fell asleep. Geyser looked at his assistant.

“Could you zheck the zcreenz pleaze?” he demanded.

The young man frowned but he did it. When he was on his back, Geyser returned to Seifer and administered him a second syringe. He pretended to check the electrodes and the probe on Seifer’s arms to not seem to be suspicious. He knew Laguna and Squall were watching him and he couldn’t do what he wanted with his assistant by his side. He hid the syringe discreetly in his pocket. He didn’t notice that his assistant saw him. The young man was a bit surprised and wondered what he was doing. He kept silent and returned to his computer. Pictures appeared on the screens.

“Focuz only on memoriez with the zorcerezz.” Asked Geyser to his assistant.

The young man agreed and stopped on a picture with Seifer and Edea. _They were in Galbadia Garden. Seifer was on his knees. Edea recovered her mind, letting the tall blond with Linoa who went to his side. When he left, she collapsed on the ground. The army retired from Galbadia Garden and found another place. Seifer was in dark room. A woman was in front of him. She had the same figure that Edea…but she had just her appearance, she wasn’t Matron since she stayed with Squall and the others._

_“What a failure you are! You dare calling you my Knight?”_

_“My Lady…”_

_“SHUT UP!”_

_Seifer looked down ashamed._

_“You’re so weak! This is the third time they defeated you! You’re worthless.”_

_She approached and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her.”You’re such a slut! You’re just good enough to satisfy my army.”_

_“No. Not again” thought Seifer._

_“Yes my boy. Soldiers need to have a good time after all. You could make yourself useful for once…”_

_“My Lady, please…”_

_“Why don’t you admit already you like it? You like to be punished.”_

_“No…” begged Seifer._

_“Yes, you like it. Look at yourself.” She caressed his hair with her long fingers. Seifer was shaking. Her touch frightened him. He began to breathe heavily when she stepped back, still fixing him. He put his hands on the ground and tried to find air. He became red and started to sweat._

_“I feel hot…” he thought._

_Suddenly, he couldn’t control his moves anymore. His hands were moving alone, running through his chest and touching his organ, already hard._

_“What’s wrong with me? I can’t control myself…”_

_Several men entered in the room, laughing and glaring at Seifer who was still on the ground._

_“Give them a good show, boy.” The false Edea was in front of him, on her chair, crossing her legs._

_Seifer shivered. He was scared about his own body. He couldn’t control his moves; she probably did something to him. He was forced to satisfy himself in front of her and these soldiers. They looked at him with lust and envy. Seifer took off his trench coat and turned around to face the soldiers. He looked down and unbuttoned his shirt with one hand. His other hand rubbed his cock inside of his pants. He stood up and stripped completely, still shaking and ashamed._

_“Why? Why should I endure this? Why she doesn't kill me?”_

**_“She wants to see you suffer.”_ **

_“But Matron loved me. Why does she do this to me?”_

**_“She’s not Matron.”_ **

_“I can’t control myself. My body doesn’t listen to me…”_

_Five men approached and surrounded Seifer who fell on his knees again. He continued to stroke his cock and lay down on his stomach. He put two fingers on his mouth and licked it, moaning. He stopped and introduced his wet fingers in his ass. He started to cry._

_“What a slut I’m…she’s right.”_

**_“No. She forces you to do this. You don’t like it.”_ **

_“But why I can’t control myself if I don’t like it?”_

**_“She controls you. You wouldn't do this if you were in your normal state. Don’t misunderstand. That’s what she wants.”_ **

_Seifer was still fingering himself and rubbing his cock when he reached the orgasm and came. He collapsed on the ground, without removing his fingers in his ass. The men joined the others and looked at him. They rubbed their cock fixing with a lustful look his ass. One of them took off his belt and whipped Seifer’s bottom. He felt the pain and tensed his body, trying desperately to suppress his voice to not shout._

_“Don’t stop. Finger yourself.” Said a soldier._

_Seifer did it, closing his eyes to endure the pain that the belt gave him and the humiliation._

_After several minutes, the man stopped to hit him and surrounded the belt around his throat, forcing Seifer to raise on his knees. He didn’t stop to finger and to rub himself even with the lack of air. Some of the men came and the semen dripped on Seifer’s body, on his face and on the ground. The man who held him with the belt released him and he fell on his stomach._

_“Lick the ground, bitch!” ordered another soldier._

_Seifer did it and licked the semen on the ground like a dog. His aggressors laughed at him, insulting him and spat on his face and on his ass. They started to fuck him one after another, sometimes in two. They forced him to suck their hard and dripping cocks obligating him to swallow their semen._

On his table, Seifer was shaking. Squall noticed and entered in the laboratory.

“Geyser, stop it. He feels bad.” He told to the doctor.

Laguna touched his forehead. “He’s hot. He has got fever.”

Seifer finally opened his eyes and looked around. He had some difficulties to breathe and was covered with sweat.

“You’re okay?” asked Squall touching his cheek but Seifer struggled violently and fell on the ground when he felt Squall’s touch on his skin. “Seifer?”

“I’m hot…I need fresh air…” whispered Seifer who was in pain.

“Sure. Let’s stop this for today.” Agreed Laguna.

Squall stayed behind his father who went to Seifer and helped him to stand up. They walked slowly to the exit. Seifer was still in shock but he was sick too. The last time, he was in the same state but it was essentially because of the damages of his mind. This time, it was different…it was mentally and physically.

Geyser looked at them and smiled with sadistic eyes. “Good, Zeifer…, it workz…”

His assistant noticed him and wondered what happened. He remembered suddenly the syringe in his pocket and started to think the doctor did actually something to Seifer. He stayed quiet and observed Geyser in silence.


	23. Time to lie

Squall and Laguna brought Seifer to the infirmary after the experience in Geyser’s laboratory. A doctor was with him. They waited outside. Quistis and Kiros joined them.

“What happened?” asked Quistis.

“We don’t know. I think Seifer couldn’t endure to remember, he was shaking and got fever…” replied Laguna.

“Is the doctor with him?” demanded Kiros.

“Yes. Where’s Lulu?” asked Squall.

“She’s with Ward. She felt something was wrong with Seifer, that’s why we came.” Said Quistis.

“I see.” Squall turned around and fixed the window.

The doctor left the room.

“How is he?” asked Laguna.

The doctor adjusted his eyeglasses and cleared his throat before speaking. “He’s fine. He just needs to take a break, but his body temperature is abnormally high. He has got fever maybe because of the stress.” Explained the man.

“Can we see him?” asked Squall.

“Sure, but not too long please.”

The doctor left and the group entered in the room. Seifer was lying on his bed with his eyes closed. He breathed heavily and seemed to be exhausted. He suddenly opened his eyes and looked at them.

“Seifer? How do you feel?” asked Quistis.

“Sick…I’m hot…” answered Seifer.

“You’ve got fever.” Explained Squall. He approached and touched his forehead when Seifer blinked and moved violently as if he has been hurt. He practically fell but Laguna and Quistis held him.“Seifer?”

“Ah…ah...” whispered Seifer exhausted. He put his hand on his chest, trying to get his breath back.

“Seifer? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Quistis touched his shoulder.

“Ah…I feel weird each time you touch me…as if you stick a knife in my heart…it hurts.” Explained Seifer with difficulties.

“But…why? Why me? Quistis, Laguna and Kiros can touch you…” said Squall surprised.

“I know…I don’t understand.” Seifer looked at him, trying desperately to stay focused.

“Okay…you need to sleep. Let’s get out of here. We’ll visit you later.” Concluded Laguna.

“Fine…take care of Lulu and reassure her. She’s gonna worry if she doesn’t see me…” told Seifer but Quistis caressed his hair gently to comfort him.

“No problem. Try to relax okay?”

“Hum…” Seifer lay down on his back and closed his eyes. He was still in bad condition because of his high temperature, but he started to relax. The bitch left him alone, even if it would be probably just for a short time.

 

* * *

 

Geyser’s assistant was still in the laboratory. He had a bad feeling about what happened lately but he didn’t want to accuse the doctor without proof.

 Geyser already left and went home. The young man made some researches and viewed last Seifer’s memories. Geyser asked him to focus only these with the sorceress. Every picture was captured and recorded but the man noticed some of these had been erased recently. He tried to undelete it but he couldn’t. He felt more and more suspicious. Why did he do this? What did he hide? The subject didn’t need a double dose of sedative, so Geyser injected him another thing. What was it?

He left the laboratory when he met Kiros. “Oh! Sorry Mister Seagill!”

“You…are Geyser’s assistant?” Asked Kiros. “Sorry, I forgot your name.”

“Chad Valentine, sir.”

“I see. So? What are you doing here Mister Valentine?”

“Huh…I just wanted to check something, nothing really important. How is Mister Almasy?”

“He’s resting, he has got fever.”

“Okay…I think we shouldn’t continue the experience. Professor Geyser agrees to let him recover…”

“Good. He can return to Winhill when he will feel better.”

“Fine. I’m gonna leave now. Goodbye Sir.”

“Goodbye Mister Valentine.

 

* * *

 

After dinner, Zell stayed in his house. He didn’t want to return at the Garden. He was still angry and he didn’t need to fight again, but he knew it would probably happen if he met students. He went to his room and picked up his phone to call Seifer and Lulu. He was surprised when Lulu answered first.

“ _Zelly?_ ” asked the little girl.

“Hi sweetie, how are you?” demanded Zell, smiling. He was happy to hear her voice.

“ _I’m fine. I miss you…_ ”

“I miss you too…”

_“When will you come back?”_

“I don’t know, honey, but I hope soon.” They stayed quiet during few seconds when Lulu broke the silence.

_“Zelly?”_

“Yeah?”

_“There’s…something wrong, don’t you?”_

“Huh?”

_“I mean…you seem to be angry, and…sad. Tell me.”_

_“Damn! She notices everything!” thought Zell._

_“Zelly?”_

“Yes Lulu…don’t worry, I’m just tired, it’s nothing.” He tried to reassure her but he wasn’t very convincing at all.

_“You’re lying…”_

He stayed quiet. He didn’t want to tell her more, but he was a bad liar.

_“If you don’t want to tell me, I understand; Zelly and Vivi never tell me when they’re not feeling good anyway. But…be careful, okay?”_

“Oh sweetie, don’t be mad. I just had a bad day, it’s not what you think, I trust you but I know you’ll worry too much…”

_“I’m not mad, Zelly. I love you.”_

He sighted, relieved. “I love you too Lulu. Is Seifer with you?” Zell really needed to hear his voice. He felt so lonely since he left Winhill.

_“Yes…but he’s a bit tired…”_

“Ah? Something’s wrong?” Zell felt suddenly alarmed.

_“Vivi’s sick; he has got fever…”_

“Oh! Did he see a doctor? Did he eat properly?” asked Zell anxious.

_“Yes. I’m with him. He fell asleep but…wait Zelly, he woke up…”_

Zell listened to Lulu talking with Seifer. He couldn’t hear his voice; he seemed to be weak…

 _“Zell?”_ Seifer asked with a soft voice. He was actually tired.

“Hi Honey! Lulu told me you’re sick? How are you?”

_“I’m fine, just tired. What about you?”_

“I’m okay…did you take you temperature? What did the doctor say?”

_“Zell, I’m alright. I probably catch a cold…oh, wait a minute…”_

Seifer talked to Lulu and said her goodnight when the little girl grabbed the phone.

_“Goodnight Zelly!”_

“Goodnight sweetie. Have sweet dreams.”

After a short pause, Seifer talked again. “ _Sorry. So? How are you?”_

“I’m more concerned about your health. You work too much. Take a break and don’t make any effort. Did you eat properly?”

Seifer sighted and laughed. “ _Come ‘on Zell! I’m not a kid, you know? You sound like your mother…”_

“I’m worried…”

“ _I know, you’re so cute! Thank you but you don’t have to. I’m okay_.”

“…”

_“Zell? Did something happen at the Garden?”_

“Why…do you ask?”

_“I don’t know…I mean, something seems to bother you. Wanna tell me?”_

“There’s nothing…”

 _“Tell me_.” Seifer insisted. He knew Zell was lying.

“I just…miss you.”

Seifer sighted sadly. _“I miss you too, Honey.”_

“You probably need to rest now. Go back to sleep, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

_“Alright. Goodnight.”_

“Goodnight Seif.”

_“I love you.”_

Zell blushed, closing his eyes, smiling. How it was good to hear this…”I love you. Goodnight, honey.”

 

* * *

 

Seifer woke up at the infirmary. Lulu was already there with him. Zell called them yesterday but they didn’t tell him they were in Esthar. Zell seemed to be in bad mood but he didn’t explain why. Seifer guessed he probably had a problem at the Garden but he didn’t insist. Zell would explain everything later…

Lulu looked at him and touched his cheek. “Hi Vivi. Do you feel better?” she asked.

“Hi Lu! What time is it?”

“Huh…8:00 am. Why?”

“It’s a bit early for you. You’re supposed to be in holidays.”

“I was worried about you…and about Zelly. I couldn’t sleep last night.”

Seifer held her in his arms. “Ah…you noticed too for Zell? He was kind of depressed yesterday…”

“Yeah. I asked him, but he didn’t tell me.”

“I know. I asked him too, he just said he missed us…do you think he was lying?”

“Yes. I mean…he probably misses us, but I feel something happened to him yesterday. He wasn’t just sad…he was angry too.”

“We should ask him when he will come back.”

“Yes. What about you?”

“I feel better now.”

“Good!”

They were interrupted by Squall and Kiros. “Hi!”

“Hi guys!” replied Seifer.

“How are you this morning?” asked Squall.

“Better, thank you.”

Squall felt relieved. “If you wanna return to Winhill, you can, but you two are welcome to stay.”

“Oh…we’re not gonna continue with Geyser?” demanded Seifer surprised.

“Not now. You need to recover. We don’t want to push you too hard.” Said Kiros.

“Okay…”

“You could stay for few days here, what do you think about it?”

“Sounds good. Lulu doesn’t know Esthar, so we can visit the city together.” Agreed Seifer.

“Yes! Let’s go!!” jumped Lulu with joy.

 

* * *

 

One month later.

Seifer and Lulu returned to Winhill. They stayed in Eshtar for a week and came back. Lulu was already at school. Seifer was in his workshop. He agreed to go back in Geyser’s laboratory every two months. His mind seemed to be fine…but he noticed some changes with his body. The first week after Geyser’s experience, he had got fever. He was feeling better now, but he was often hot, even if it was already winter. He perspired more, but he felt stronger. When he fought against monsters, he killed them more quickly and easily. It was strange…but he knew he wasn’t a normal guy. As far as he could recall, he was different. Maybe that was why people used to hate him…

He was looking for something behind his desk when he heard someone coming inside.

“Hello! I’ll be right with you in one moment…” he said still on his knees to seek some papers.

“Take your time…I’ve got a nice view from here…” replied a familiar voice, devouring Seifer’s ass with the eyes.

Seifer turned his back quickly when he heard this voice. “ZELL???”

He didn’t have the time to stand up completely that Zell jumped in his arms, kissing him passionately. They fell on the ground. Seifer grabbed him by the waist and kissed him back, pushing his tongue deeper in his mouth. After few minutes, they broke the kiss and looked at each other, trying to breathe again. Seifer was sat, his back against his desk, with Zell on his tights.

“I missed you so much…” whispered Zell, kissing his lover on the neck.

“I can feel it!” laughed Seifer, caressing his hair, and mentioning his erection. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?”

“I wanted to surprise you!”

“You did!”

They kissed again, pressing their lips harder. Seifer pushed Zell away and stood up. “I need to close the shop…”

Zell did the same and looked around him when he felt Seifer’s hands on his hips. He pushed him against his desk and began to take off Zell’s clothes.

“Here?” asked Zell.

“As if I could wait until we come back to home!” replied Seifer

Zell turned around and stripped Seifer, but he didn’t have the time to finish that his lover took him in his arms and made him sit on his desk. Zell wrapped his legs around his waist, still kissing him hungrily, twisting his tongue in Seifer’s mouth.

“You’re so hot…” murmured Zell between moans and kisses. Seifer didn’t say a word even if he wanted to. Yes, Zell made him hot, but he felt different since the day he came to Esthar. He was hot all the time…but he didn’t want to worry Zell with this. He pushed his lover on his back and spread his legs. He didn’t waste time and took Zell’s cock in his mouth, touching his entrance with his other hand. Zell gripped his head and massaged his short blond hair with his fingers, groaning with impatience. He shivered when he felt Seifer’s wet fingers inside of him. He missed so much this sensation…he wanted more…

“Seifer…more…” moaned Zell.

Seifer stopped it and positioned himself in front of his little hole and put it in sharply. Zell shouted and raised his body to grab Seifer’s shoulders with his arms. It didn’t hurt but it was a bit rough…He felt something cold on his stomach and realized he came just from him entering him. Seifer started to move quickly. Some of the things on the desk fell on the ground but they didn’t care. They needed sex. They didn’t see each other since three months but it was as an eternity…

Zell held his lover tightly abandoning his body to him. He clutched Seifer’s neck and bit his shoulder. It was so good to feel Seifer inside of him…he missed it so much he couldn’t endure another single day without holding him. He was supposed to go to Deling City but he made a detour to visit them.

Seifer captured Zell’s mouth with his and stroked his cock in the same time. After few minutes, Zell couldn’t contain himself anymore and came a second time. He was exhausted but he wanted more, plus Seifer didn’t come yet.

He lay down on his back again and took hold off the edge of the desk with his hands. Seifer moved closer and continued to fuck his brain out, as if he was on rut. He couldn’t control his lust or his strength anymore. He didn’t realize he became rougher but Zell didn’t complain. He seemed to enjoy it even if he was a bit surprised by his attitude. Seifer was always gentle even when he was particularly horny. But now, he was like a beast; It was great actually, just different. Zell became louder, screaming Seifer’s name again and again.

“Seif…you’re so good!! Harder!” begged Zell between moans. His pleasure grew up with each move when he finally came a third time. “SEIFER!!!!”

But his lover seemed to not have enough. He never stopped to fuck him. Zell breathed heavily and began to realize how Seifer missed him.

“What..did you eat today?” asked Zell panting.

“What?” blinked Seifer.

“Seif, you’re really alive today…I’m exhausted. I already came three times..but not even once for you..” replied Zell trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry, honey…I missed you so much…”

“I can see!”

“Just a moment please…I’m gonna come soon…” said Seifer still moving his hips faster against Zell’s pelvis. He grabbed him by the waist and pinned him forcibly against the wall. Zell wrapped his legs around his hips and held his shoulders. Seifer licked his neck, tasting his salty and sweaty flesh.

“Damn! You drive me crazy…” whispered Seifer.

Zell was hard again, even if he was completely bushed, it was too good. His inside was burning, Seifer’s cock hitting his sweet spot again and again. He began to wonder how he would be able to walk after this greatest fucking good session of sex. Actually, he didn’t care; he was mostly concerned about his lover. He seemed to be alright today. When they made love, Zell noticed sometimes Seifer became afraid or weird. He never asked because he knew why. He was thinking about what Ultimecia did to him…but not today. Zell felt relieved. “ _Maybe he starts to get better…”_ he thought.

Seifer was only focused on his own pleasure. He didn’t think about Zell this time. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to, but in fact he couldn’t. He didn’t know how to think or to talk anymore like a savage animal. The beast in him just wanted to eat Zell…he was hungry. It wasn’t just desire…it was lust, an uncontrollable urge to fuck. He started to feel the orgasm coming. He sat on the ground and put Zell on his laps, pushing his cock deeper inside of him. He grabbed his hips and forced him to impale himself on his hard organ. Zell was shaking. He couldn’t handle anymore and after few rough thrusts he came a fourth time. His semen had spurted out on Seifer’s stomach. He tried to stay conscious but his body didn’t respond anymore and he was exhausted. He had no strength anymore; it was weird because he was hyperactive usually.

“Seif..please…I can’t anymore…” he groaned.

“Hold a second Baby, please…I’m gonna come…”

“You already told me that earlier…” complained Zell.

Seifer smiled and put his hands on Zell’s ass, pushing his cock deeper and harder in him. He moved faster, practically breaking Zell’s body with his strength when he closed his eyes and screamed Zell’s name, coming inside of him. “ZELL!!!!”

He finally released him and fell on his back on the ground. Zell collapsed on his sweaty torso. They breathed fast and heavily, completely worn out by this intense effort. Even their brain seemed to be tired. They didn’t move and stayed in each other arms until they finally regained their mind and their breath.

“Waouh…you missed me a lot!” commented Zell laughing.

“Definitely! Sorry…I was a bit rough…” Seifer apologized.

“That’s an understatement! But it was so good that I can’t blame you for this!” Zell reassured him kissing his neck tenderly.

“You’re a perfect understanding wife Zell!” Seifer joked.

“Hey!”

“Don’t make this outraged face! It doesn’t suit you!”

“Really? I used to think you liked it since you teased me all the time…”

Seifer kissed him. “I lied! In fact, it makes you gorgeous, but if you don’t wanna make me hard again, you shouldn’t do this!”

“Sure! I won’t be able to handle another session like this one! You almost killed me!” sighted Zell.

“It’s not like you didn’t take your pleasure…you came four times when I just came once!”

“Yeah…I hope you have enough because my ass won’t be available for a long time!”

“Oh…do I need to carry you or you can walk to the house?”

“Dunno…do you have a curaga?” asked Zell joking.

They laughed, looking at each other tenderly. At this moment, they forgot everything: Ultimecia, Geyser’s experiences, Garden…nothing was important. Zell didn’t talk about what happened when he returned at Garden and Seifer didn’t mention he went lately in Esthar. They wanted to protect each other, even if they felt guilty to lie.

“So? How long are you gonna stay?” asked Seifer.

“Actually, I’m not supposed to be here. I’m in mission at Deling City, but I wanted to see you with Lulu so I came.”

“Oh…you’re gonna leave tonight?” demanded Seifer disappointed.

“Not tonight. I’m gonna stay few days with you. I need to meet my contact in four days. We were supposed to meet today but he cancelled and asked me to postpone our meeting.” Explained Zell.

“Good. Lulu’s gonna be so happy to see you again. By the way, I saw the mayor for the adoption. If you wanna, we could sign the paper tomorrow. ”

“Really?? Great! Let’s do it!” replied Zell with joy.

Seifer smiled and caressed his cheek. “I love you.”

Zell kissed his hand and put his head on his chest. “I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

One month later.

Zell Left him after four days to meet his contact at Deling City. Lulu became officially his daughter. She was so happy to see her Zelly again that she stayed awake all the night the day when Zell came back. It was hard for the three of them to say goodbye again. Lulu needed her two parents by her side, even if she was happy with Seifer. But she missed Zell. It was harder for the two lovers either. It hurt to sleep in an empty bed, even if Lulu slept often with Seifer. It was more painful for Zell. People at the Garden hated him and he spent most of his time on his room or in Balamb with his mother. He felt lonely. Selphie had Irvine, Squall was with Linoa, Quistis left the Garden to stay with Laguna in Esthar, Rajin was with Fujin…but Zell was alone when he was far away from Winhill, far away from Seifer and their daughter.

Seifer went back to Esthar, as he promised. He didn’t tell Zell and Lulu promised to keep silence about it. He wasn’t afraid this time because he was happy. Zell finally adopted Lulu and they became a real family now. He had to cure his mind. He wanted to be normal again. He had to do it for Lulu and Zell. He was determined.They arrived at the Presidential Palace and met Laguna, Squall, Quistis and Kiros. Irvine was there too.

“Hi Seifer! Hello Lulu!” welcomed Quistis.

“Hi guys!” replied Seifer.

“Hi everyone!” she said with joy. She looked Irvine and smiled. “Hi Mister Cowboy!”

Irvine smiled and winked at her. “Hi sweetie! You’re so cute that if only I was five, I would ask you to marry me!”

Seifer glared at him. “As if I would agree to this! Damn Cowboy! Do you have never enough that you need to seduce everyone?”

 “What? I can’t help it! I can’t resist when I see a beautiful girl smiling at me!” replied Irvine with a seductive voice.

“You’re talking about MY DAUGHTER!” insisted Seifer with an angry look.

“I love challenges!” joked Irvine.

“If you insist to have these kind of thoughts about her, the only challenge you could have would be to stay alive and far away from me and Zell!” explained Seifer.

“I got it!” assured Irvine.

Everyone laughed. Seifer was definitely overprotective with Lulu but it was cute. They noticed he seemed to feel better and it was a good thing. That meant that Geyser’s treatment worked. Utlimecia didn’t talk to him lately. He still saw her in his dreams sometimes. But he felt weird physically. He didn’t feel tiredness, pain or any sensation like he used to feel. He had more stamina, more strength, more sexual needs; he ate and drank more. He didn’t complain about it but it was strange. He never mentioned it to anybody because he though it wasn’t important, in fact, it was a good thing.

“So? Can we go now?” proposed Seifer.

“Sure. Let’s go.” Agreed Laguna.

Lulu stayed with Quistis. Laguna, Kiros and Seifer left. Squall was going to follow them when Irvine grabbed his arm.  

“Sorry Squall, but can we talk together please? It won’t be long.” Demanded Irvine.

Squall frowned but agreed. He turned around and made a sign to his father. “I’m coming in few minutes. Don’t wait for me.” He looked at Irvine and invited him to follow him in the corridor.

“See you Girls!” smiled Irvine to Quistis and Lulu.

They went outside of the office and stayed in the corridor. Squall crossed his arms against his chest and fixed him. “So? What’s it?”

Irvine looked down. He was embarrassed but he knew he had to tell Squall. “It’s…about Zell.”

“Zell? What’s wrong with him?” Squall frowned.

 “Hum…you know, when he finally came back at the Garden after his mission with Selphie, people didn’t welcome him very well…” he began to explain.

“What do you mean?” asked Squall.

“Some students insulted him and he fought with them…” said Irvine.

“What did they say?”

“They said he was a traitor, that he was Seifer’s whore, that he betrayed us for him…bla…bla…, you know what I mean?”

“Oh…I see.” Squall looked down and thought.

“He was furious when we saw him with Selphie. He was out of control and after that he was angry and…depressed. He couldn’t support to hear they insulted Seifer; that was that it hurt him the most.”

“I understand, but why he didn’t tell me?”

“You know, I wasn’t supposed to tell you. I gave him my word…but Selphie and I were worried for him. Since that day, he never stays at the Garden when he’s not in mission. I think he didn’t want to cause you trouble or to worry us.”

“You were right to tell me Irvine. Thank you. I’m gonna think about what I can do about this, but don’t let him alone. He needs to feel his friends are here for him.”

“Sure. Selphie is with him right now. I’m gonna go back tomorrow. Don’t worry for this.”

“Good. I’m gonna join my father and Seifer now. Are you coming with me?”

“Yes. Let’s go.”

They started to walk, quietly when Irvine broke the silence. “Don’t mention what I said to Seifer please.”

“Of course. Don’t worry.” Squall reassured him.

When they arrived, Seifer was already asleep, lain down on the table. Geyser and his assistant checked their computers and the machines. Laguna and Kiros were waiting behind the window when they were joined by Squall and Irvine. Geyser looked at them and fixed his assistant again.

“Could you tell to the Prezident that Mizter Almazy agreez to let them azizt at the experienze pleaze?” he asked.

The young man frowned. “But, I don’t remember Mister Almasy told us that Professor. The last time, he insisted they stayed outside…”

“Yeah, but thiz time, he told me he waz fine when I gave him the zedative.” Geyser tried to take him away from a short time. “Juzt go to tell them pleaze.”

The young man did it and went to Laguna and the others. Geyser took advantage of his absence to pick up another syringe from his pocket and administered the content in Seifer’s arm.

 “Let’z zee if you can handle thiz, Zeifer…” whispered Geyser with a crazy look.


	24. Time to think

The experience began in Geyser’s laboratory. Laguna, Squall, Kiros and Irvine sat in front of the screens and watched Seifer’s memories. A lot of pictures were mixed and changed quickly.

“Remember to focuz only on the picturez with the zorcerezz Mizter Valentine…” insisted Geyser.

“Yes Professor.” Agreed the young man.

The pictures stopped on a scene. _Seifer was in Ultimecia’s castle. They already saw the scene last time. It was when Kronos raped and almost killed Seifer. The powerful g-force tore his arms off, still raping the poor man who was screaming and crying in despair._

The last time, Seifer was feeling sick and they stopped the experience, but he seemed to handle it now. However, he was trembling. Laguna felt anxious.

“He’s shaking. Should we stop this?” asked Laguna to Geyser, looking at his son.

“Don’t worry Mizter Prezident, it’z just a phyzical reaction. He’z fine…” replied Geyser.

Squall put his hand on Laguna’s shoulder. “We’ll stop if it gets worse.”

Laguna nodded silently and fixed the screen again. It was hard for them to watch it. Ultimecia was definitely cruelty personified. She used Seifer to further her goal and tortured him just for her pleasure.

_Kronos suddenly stopped and looked at his mistress. He released Seifer’s broken body and joined Ultimecia._

_“They’re koming…”_

_Seifer was still on the ground, crying and shaking, covered by blood. It seemed to be hard for him to stay conscious. His injuries were particularly severe. He lost a lot of blood; his stomach and his prostate were probably injured severely because of the violence of the shock. Every part of his body was bleeding, especially his shoulders since Kronos ripped apart his arms. He felt the death was coming. Ultimecia let him alone._

_“You’re so lucky my Knight…I need to take care of your friends. Too bad, I had so many surprises for you, but I give you the right to die.”_

_Seifer closed his eyes. The death was near, he knew it. He didn’t try to fight back to stay alive. It was useless. He felt relieved to know this nightmare would end soon._

_“What a pitiful existence…I wasn’t a knight, neither a hero…just a fucking failure…” thought Seifer. He suddenly opened his eyes when he heard someone was coming. He felt afraid and started to wonder if she came back._

_“Please…finish me off…” whispered the poor man in agony._

_He couldn’t see who was in front of him but he guessed it was a woman. “The scent…I know it…” whispered Seifer. He tried to move his head but he felt a gentle touch brushing his cheek._

_“Shhh…don’t move Darling…” murmured a soft voice._

_“Ma..ma..tron?” asked Seifer._

_“Yes, Seifer. I’m here with you…God! What happened to you?” demanded Edea on her knees. She wore her classic long black dress. Her voice and her touch were so comforting…Seifer smiled. He was happy._

_“Matron…I’m..so..ha..ppy…” he whispered._

_“Happy?” blinked Edea._

_“Yes…I can..see y..ou a la..st time..be..fore dying…”_

_“Seifer! Don’t say that! You won’t die! I’m gonna cure you!” she replied firmly. She put her hand on his chest but he struggled._

_“No! Ma..tron…let me..die..just..kill me…ple..ase..don’t…”Begged Seifer._

_She didn’t listen to him and she cured him with several curaga. “Forgive me Darling…you didn’t deserve it…but I couldn’t stop her…forgive me…” she said crying._

_“Ma..tron…I’m..cold…”_

_She held him. She understood Seifer was dying even if she cured him. “Seifer! Please, don’t give up! Don’t die please!” she shouted._

_“Co..ld…”_

Squall fixed Seifer on his table sadly when he released he was shaking hard, his teeth were chattering. He stood up and went to him. His skin was practically blue. “Geyser! Stop it! He’s frozen!” yelled Squall, touching Seifer’s flesh.

Laguna, Kiros and Irvine joined him quickly and tried to wake him up. “Seifer? Can you hear me?” asked Squall worried. But the young man didn’t answer.

“We need to warm him up. Does anybody have magic spells?” asked Laguna.

“I’m not junctionned. I can’t use magic.” Replied Squall.

“Me neither.” Added Kiros.

“Let me do it.” Said Irvine, approaching. He put his hand on his chest but when Seifer felt his touch, he fought back and pushed away violently the cowboy, yelling in pain.

“RRRAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” His shout sounded like a wounded animal.

Seifer practically fell on the ground but Laguna and Squall helped him to sit. “Calm down! It’s okay!” Laguna tried to reassure him. Seifer was completely lost. He trembled so hard he couldn’t talk or to relax.

“C…co…ld…I’m…c..col..d” murmured Seifer. His trembling lips were already blue.

“Damn! What was that?” asked Irvine. “I tried to warm him up but…”

“I know. He did the same when I touched him the last time…” explained Squall. “But now, it’s you…”

“We have to do something! Geyser! Get your ass over here!” yelled Laguna angry.

The door of the laboratory opened and they saw Quistis and Lulu. “What happened?” asked Quistis.

“Seifer is cold. He’s shaking too hard…” replied Laguna.

“Use a fire spell!” said Quistis.

“Squall, Laguna and I aren’t juncitonned. Irvine tried to do it but Seifer pushed him away!” explained Kiros.

“I’m not junctionned either…” regretted Quistis.

Lulu jumped on the table and forced Seifer to lie down on his back. She put her hands on his chest and warmed him up with magic spells. Seifer breathed with difficulties but he seemed to feel better. “Vivi! Vivi! Talk to me!”

After few minutes, Seifer recovered his mind. He was still cold but he could at least move and speak. “Lu…”

She smiled. Her hands moved to his face and caressed his cheeks. His flesh returned to his original skin tone. “Vivi…do you feel better?”

He touched her face. His hands were frozen. He couldn’t stop shaking but it was bearable. He tried to reassure her. “Yeah…thanks..sweetie…”

Everyone stayed quiet. Lulu knew what to do. She was calm and confident even if she was young. It was amazing to see her acting like an adult. Everyone felt so useless at this time, they panicked. Squall finally spoke.

“Let’s get him in his room.” He proposed. “Lulu, could you stay with him?”

“Yes!”

“Okay! Let’s go.”

Squall, Laguna and Kiros helped Seifer to walk into his room. He lay down on his bed, exhausted. Lulu joined him and got closer to him. She held his trembling body in her little arms and cooled him, whispering at his ear softly. They left them alone, closing the door behind them.

Irvine scratched his long hair before putting his hat again on his head. “What happened? Why did he shout when I tried to warm him up?”

“I told you Irvine, I don’t know. He couldn’t control his reactions…” explained Squall.

“But…how Lulu could use magic? Was she junctionned?” asked Quistis.

“No, she uses magic without g-force, like Seifer. I don’t know how they can do it…” said Squall.

“I sent Kiros to look for Geyser. He would explain why Seifer had these reactions after his experiences. It’s the second time he felt sick…” Laguna told them.

“The second time? What do you mean?” demanded Irvine surprised.

“Yes. He came about two months ago. The last time, he got fever, he was hot and he reacted to me the same way he did today with you…” admitted Squall.

“Did you tell this to Zell?” asked Irvine.

They looked down. “No. It’s better if he doesn’t know about this…” confessed Squall.

“But…”

“Irvine, please! Seifer didn’t tell him either. You know how he would react…please.” Requested Squall. “Please.”

“Fine…fine…”

They were cut when Geyser arrived with Kiros in Laguna’s office. “Mizter Prezident…what’z wrong?”

“Don’t fuck with me, fucking mad scientist! What did you do to him this time?” asked Laguna angrily.

“Nothing, I promize…”

“You’re lying! Tell me right now or I’ll send you in jail for the rest of your life!” yelled Laguna.

“Mizter Prezident…it’z not what you think. Mizter Almazy fought againzt the zorcerezz, that’z why he had theze reactionz…”

“What do you mean?” demanded Kiros.

“Each time Mizter Almazy recallz the zorcerezz, he battled againzt her. He iz ztronger and zhe’z afraid…zhe tried to releaze herzelf, forcing him to uze hiz own magic againzt himzelf. Zhe’z zcared to dizappear…the treatment workz.” The doctor justified.

“So…he’s winning against her?” asked Squall.

“Yez…we juzt need more time and zhe will dizappear from hiz mind.”

“But…how Seifer and Lulu can use magic without been junctionned?” asked again Irvine.

Geyser blinked. “The little girl can uze magic too?”

“Yes. How is it possible?” added Kiros.

“It’z ztrange, in fact…I can’t anzwer to thiz queztion…Mizter Almazy iz definitely zomeone zpecial...like hiz daughter…”

“But…wait a minute! Squall? Were you junctionned the last time when you touched him?” asked suddenly Kiros.

Squall nodded. “Yes. Why?”

“And Irvine was the only one junctionned too, today…” added Kiros.

“You mean…it’s because of the g-force?” wondered Laguna.

“What else could it be?” said Kiros crossing his arms.

“Mizter Zeagill iz right. I didn’t think about it before…but it could be the reazon why he acted zo ztrangely  when you touched him…” confirmed Geyser.

“Ultimecia probably tried to use him against us with our own powers too, especially the g-force.” Suggested Quistis.

“So, it means he reacts with the g-force. We mustn’t touch him until he’s healed if we’re junctionned.” Squall told them.

“But, it doesn’t explain why they can use magic without g-force…” mentioned again Irvine. 

“Okay, it’s weird but if the treatment works, it’s a good and the most important thing.” Squall concluded.

 

* * *

 

 After few hours, Seifer was still asleep. Lulu never left his side and looked at him worried. Laguna and Quistis entered in the room silently.

“Hi Lulu! How is he?” demanded Laguna with a low voice.

“Better.” She answered smiling.

“Thanks to you, Lulu. We couldn’t do anything later…” said sadly Quistis.

“Don’t be sad Quisty! Vivi’s okay now. I know you wanted to help him.”

She smiled and caressed her hair gently. Laguna approached.

“You know what Lulu? The doctor said Vivi would be healed completely soon. It’s good news, don’t you think?” asked Laguna.

But the little girl looked down. “Is it the doctor with a strange look?”

“Yes…I know he’s weird…”

“He’s bad.” Lulu said.

Laguna scratched his head, embarrassed. “I know Lulu, but we need him. I hate him but he’s the one who can help Seifer.”

“Mister Ponytail…he hurt Vivi. I don’t trust him…”

“Yes…it’s hard to explain but it’s for his good. I know you can’t understand but…” started to say Laguna when Lulu cut him.

“I know what you mean Mister, but…don’t trust him. He’s bad…Vivi got stronger since the last time, it’s true, I noticed, but…it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.”

Quistis took her in her arms. “I understand how much you love him, but it’s the only way to release Seifer from his pain. We don’t trust Geyser, but we trust Seifer. That’s why we want to help him.”

“I know Quisty…but I’m worried. I have a bad feeling…”

They stayed with Lulu one hour and left. The little girl returned to the bed with Seifer. He opened slowly his eyes when he felt her touch. She was looking at him concerned.

“Hi sweetie…” he whispered.

“Vivi…how do you feel?”

“Just tired...and I’m a bit cold.”

“I’m gonna warm you up.” But Seifer put his hand on her chest to stop her.

“No, it’s okay. I feel it’s…something in my body. It won’t change anything if you use magic again. Don’t worry, it’s bearable.”

She took the blanket and covered him. “I’ll stay with you.”

Seifer smiled and hugged her against his strong torso. “I’m sorry. I always depend on you…I’m supposed to be the one to take care of you.”

“You do.”

“I just give you troubles and pains. I know one day I’ll make you suffer with Zell…I’m scared…”

“Don’t say that. You won’t do that.”

“It’s not like I want it, but I know deep in my heart it will happen...”

“You’re wrong Vivi…” she murmured with a sad voice.

“I wish I’m wrong…people don’t hate someone without reason. They already hated me before I met “her”…”

“They’re wrong. I told you: if everyone hates you that means everyone is wrong. I believe in you, Zelly and all your friends too.”

He smiled sadly and kissed her. “Thanks for loving me…you saved me…”

“You saved me too, remember?”

“Yes, but you did twice.”

“Huh?”

“Yes. The first time when we met and today.”

“I didn’t do anything before…”

“Yes you did. You gave me a reason to live when I lost hope and faith. I was thinking about killing myself when I met you…”

“Vivi, please! Never think about this again!”

He laughed, caressing her cheek tenderly. “I don’t. I love you too much to have these kind of thoughts now.”

She sighted relieved. She came closer to him when Seifer whispered at her ear: “I love you.”

 

* * *

 

Three months later.

Seifer, Lulu and Zell were in the train to go to Deling City. He postponed his meeting with Geyser because Zell came back at this time. He didn’t say a word about Geyser’s experiences. He wanted to be completely healed to tell him the truth. After the last time, Squall explained what happened to him when he got in contact with someone junctionned. The treatment seemed to work and Seifer had hope again. He could win against “her”. It was just a question of time. Now, he was determined. It was hard to remember his bad memories but each time he did it, she lost her influence on him. The pain gave him hatred and contempt against her. In the past, she knew how to control him. She convinced him with words, saying what Seifer wanted to hear…and when it didn’t work, she used the strength because his mind was weak…he was easily influenced. But now, he became stronger. He knew what he would lose if he listened to her again: Lulu and Zell. They gave him happiness, love and so many things and feelings he didn’t want to drop. This time, he would be the one to choose his way.

 Zell was with them since one month. He took a break and he didn’t have mission so he was planning to stay a bit longer with them. The little family went to Deling City because Raijin called them. He said Fujin was at the hospital but he didn’t tell them why. He called all their friends and everyone planned to join them in Deling City. Selphie, Irvine, Squall and Linoa were in Balamb. Quistis and Laguna were in Eshtar. They let Kiros and Ward ran the city in their place. They took the Ragnarok.

Seifer looked at the window, tapping his foot nervously. Lulu was asleep on Zell’s lap. Zell knew that Seifer was worried for Fujin. They still didn’t talk together, Fujin refused to see him, but she was his best friend with Raijin. He missed them even if he called Raijin often and met him sometimes. He thought about the good time when the three friends were always together. They used to be a posse. Seifer hoped that with the time, he could say to Fujin how much he regretted having hurt her. Zell noticed his lover was nervous and he tried to reassure him.

“Seifer, calm down. I’m sure she’s okay. “

He sighted. “So why Raijin didn’t tell us what she had?”

“Maybe he didn’t know yet…”

“I’m sure it’s something serious. He wouldn’t ask everybody to come if it was nothing. I won’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to her.”

“Seifer…”

His lover looked down. He was about to cry. “Zell…what if she…”

Zell didn’t let him finish his sentence. “It won’t happen!”

“But…”

“Seifer! Don’t start imagining the worst!” said firmly Zell. Seifer became annoyed and glared at him.

“Stop imagining everything is so easy and wonderful! Get your ass out from your sweet dreams and face the reality Zell!”

His shouts woke up Lulu, who rubbed her eyes. Zell caressed her head. “Go back to sleep sweetie. It’s nothing.”

Seifer felt sorry. He didn’t want to wake up Lulu and to hurt Zell. The little blond just wanted to comfort him. He felt guilty and gave a chaste kiss to Zell to apologize.

“Sorry Honey…I didn’t want to say that. I’m gonna go for a walk.” Said Seifer, before closing the door behind him. Zell didn’t reply. He knew he needed to be alone. He would probably calm down later.

When they arrived at the hospital, everyone was already there. They were piling up in the clinic waiting room. Selphie saw them and welcomed Lulu and her parents, opening her arms.

“Hi guys! Hey Cutie! You grew up!” she said with joy.

“Hi Selphy! “ replied Lulu jumping in her arms.

“Hi guys!” Zell saluted everyone with his hand. Everybody noticed Seifer was particularly nervous and worried. He didn’t take the time to say hello to them that he asked:

“So? What is it with Fujin? Did you see Raijin?”

“Not yet. We’ve been waiting about one hour.” Replied Squall.

“I see…” said Zell.

Seifer rubbed his hands, anxious and decided to leave the room. “I’m gonna ask to the secretary.”

Irvine grabbed his arm. “We already asked but she explained nothing. Fujin probably needs to make a check up…”

Seifer sighted angrily and kicked the coffee machine on his left with his foot. “Damn it!”

 

One hour later, Raijin finally arrived. Seifer went to him immediately.

“Raijin? How is she? What’s wrong?” asked Seifer.

“Hi guys! I’m so happy all of you came, ya know? Sorry to have worried you.” He looked at Seifer and smiled. “She‘s okay, don’t worry, Seifer. Thanks for coming.”

 “Tell me. What’s wrong?” asked again Seifer.

“She wasn’t feeling very well lately so I brought her here about few months ago. After medical examination, they told us she was pregnant… I was so happy, ya know? But they explained it was a difficult pregnancy and they weren’t sure they could save the baby…I was worried because It put Fujin’s health in danger too, so I didn’t want to tell you until she would be fine, ya know?” explained Raijin, scratching his head.

“So? Did she already give birth?” asked Linoa, with Zack on her arms.

“Yes! That’s why I called you! I’m a father, ya know!!! ” confirmed Raijin with joy.

“Waouh!!! Congratulations!!!” yelled Selphie jumping.

“Yes, man! That’s wonderful!” added Irvine.

Everyone congratulated him. Seifer was still in shock, he was set back. Raijin realized it and went to him. “Seifer?”

“I…was so worried. I thought something happened to her…” he said with a low voice.

Raijin put his hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry man, but when I called you, I didn’t know yet if she would be okay with the baby, ya know?”

“I understand…I’m relived! I’m so happy for you!” He replied, taking him strongly in his arms. “Congratulations my friend!”

Raijin held him back. “Thank you Seif! It’s all thanks to you. I wouldn’t have been with her if you…”

“It’s okay!” Seifer cut him, understanding perfectly what he was going to say.

“So? Boy or girl?” asked Linoa.

“Boy!” replied with pride Raijin. “Let’s go to see him at the nursery.”

Everyone followed him except Seifer. “Go without me. I will join you later. I wanna talk with Fujin first.”

Raijin nodded. “Room n°785. See you later!”

“Okay.”

Zell smiled and gave him a quick kiss before leaving. Seifer winked at Lulu and left the waiting room. He arrived in front of Fujin’s room and took a large breath before knocking at the door.

“Come in!” Fujin said.

Seifer entered and closed the door behind him. He approached and saw Fujin, lain down on her bed, exhausted. “Hi Fu! Long time no see…”

Fujin blushed and fixed him with an embarrassing look. “Seifer…”

“I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but when Raijin called us, I was so worried…and I missed you…” he said sitting at the edge of her bed.

She avoided his eyes and didn’t reply. Seifer sighted.

“Fu, please…don’t be mad at me. I wanted to talk to you so badly but…you never answered…”

She looked down ashamed. She didn’t know how to react or what to say.

“You’re precious to me. I know I broke your heart and nothing what I could say would change anything but I’m sorry…I don’t wanna give up on you. You’re my friend…you can’t imagine how much I missed you…” continued Seifer.

Fujin hid her face with her hands. She was crying. Seifer came closer to her and took her in his arms. “Forgive me Fu…please…I’m so sorry…”

She finally looked at him. “Seifer…I’m the one who should implore your forgiveness…I turned my back to you at the worst moment of your life! You needed us but…when I realized you would never love me, I started to hate you…I just thought about myself, I’m so ashamed!”

“No Fujin! You and Raijin helped me. You tried to save me from that bitch! You did everything you could, even after Squall and the others defeated her. I don’t blame you. I only blame myself to not have listened to you before…”

“Seif…”

“I caused you so many troubles. You couldn’t return to a normal life with me, you knew it but you kept trying again and again…and I never took the time to tell you how much you two were important to me.”

“You were in pain Seifer. We should have seen that before…but I forced Raijin to drop you. I was angry against you…I hate myself for this! Even your daughter told me I was bad.”

“Lulu told you that? When?”

“When we brought her with us to Eshtar after you've been arrested. She liked Raijin. She said she knew that he missed you and he didn’t give up on you, but she told me I was bad because I hurt you. She was right…”

“Oh…don’t be mad at her. She’s overprotective with me.”

“I’m not. I think she made me realize what I’ve done. I should thank her for this and for taking care of you…”

“I’m sure she will love you when she’ll understand.”

“I hope.”

Seifer kept silent and brushed Fujin’s hair gently.

“Raijin deserved you better than me. I would have hurt you…” Said Seifer.

“You deserve to be happy Seifer. Zell gave you what I couldn’t, and I’m happy for you. Raijin was there for me, so I wasn’t alone…”

“Yes. I think you always loved him but you never wanted to admit it.” He told her.

“Maybe…I guess you’re right. I was with him since the beginning.”

“I know, and I’m happy for you. I’m just sad I couldn’t have been there for your wedding…” added Seifer sorrowfully.

“We missed you this day…and all the other days too.” She admitted.

“But I’m here for the birth of your child, so it’s okay.”

“Yeah…”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you Seifer! Thank you so much…”

They held each other silently. After so many times, they finally reunited. Fujin and Raijin were a part of his life. He felt incomplete without them, even if he had Zell and Lulu, he missed something important. His posse.

“So? How are you? Everything is alright with Zell and Lulu?” she asked.

“Yes. Zell adopted her…”

“It’s great. You look happy with him.”

“I’m. He makes me feel so alive, I really love him…”

“I can see it in your eyes. Who would have imagined this? You with Chicken and a child?”

“Yes, it’s crazy…but I love Lulu and Zell so much that I couldn’t live without them.”

She smiled and touched his cheek. They were interrupted when the others joined them with Raijin and the baby.

“It looks like the posse is finally restored…” said Zell smiling at them.

“AFFIRMATIVE!” nodded Fujin.

Everyone laughed. Raijin went to Seifer and showed him the little boy who was sleeping. “Can I?” asked Seifer.

“Sure!” replied Raijin.

Seifer took the little boy in his arms and smiled at him; “Hi boy!” he said touching his little fingers.

Lulu approached and fixed Fujin. “Miss “Pirate”?”

Fujin blinked when she heard the nickname the little girl gave her. “Huh?”

Seifer felt embarrassed. “Lulu! Why did you call Fujin like that?”

“But Miss has a blindfold like pirates!” she replied innocently.

“Yes…but, call her “Fujin”.” Said firmly Seifer.

Fujin laughed. “It’s okay Lulu! I’m not mad. I’m just surprised. You wanted to say something?”

“Yes…I wanted to apologize for the last time. I don’t hate you. You’re Vivi’s precious friend so I like you…” she said timidly.

Fujin smiled and caressed her hair. “Thank you Lulu. Let’s be friend!”

“Yes!” jumped Lulu with joy, looking at Seifer.

Selphie grabbed Raijin’s arms and complained. “So, what’s his name? You promised to tell us when we joined Seifer and Fujin. I wanna know!”

Raijin and Fujin looked each other happily.

“I thought you already guessed, ya know?” replied Raijin.

“Tell us!” asked again Selphie with impatience.

“SEIFER!” said Fujin.

Seifer blinked. “What is it? You wanna take him in your arms?” asked Seifer confused. He held the little boy to her mother.

“You idiot! I just replied to Selphie.” She explained laughing, taking her son in her arms.

“Huh?” He frowned.

“Yes. He’s name is Seifer.” Confirmed Raijin.

“Ooooh!!! That’s so nice of you!” commented Selphie.

Seifer blushed. He didn’t how to react or what to say. He was surprised…and happy. Proud too.

“You…gave him my name?”

“Yes. I hope it doesn’t bother you?” asked Raijin.

Seifer smiled and looked at the baby. “How could it bother me? Its…a beautiful present you gave to me. I’m so honored…I don’t know what to say…thank you so much, guys!”

 

* * *

 

The gang stayed all the day with the happy parents. They visited Fujin every day until she left the hospital. They went to Balamb and everyone except Zell, Seifer and Lulu returned to their life. Quistis and Laguna went back to Eshtar, Squall and the orphanage gang at the garden. Seifer, Zell and Lulu went to visit Zell’s Ma since they were in Balamb.

Later on the afternoon, Lulu and Ma were cooking together. Seifer went to see Zell who was reading a magazine in his room.

“Zell? What are you doing?” asked Seifer.

“Just reading…”

“Hum…wanna go for a walk with me?”

“Sure! I’m coming.”

Zell got up from his bed and put his shoes. Seifer was already waiting for him downstairs.

“Ma? Lu? We’re gonna go for a ride with Seifer.”

“See you later you two!”

“See you Vivi, Zelly!”

“Bye!” said Seifer.

Ma winked at him with connivance. She knew why Seifer wanted to be alone with Zell. He asked her and Lulu earlier, and they were so happy. He smiled and closed the door behind him and Zell.

“Wanna go to the beach?” asked Seifer.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

They walked silently in the streets. The night started to fall. When they arrived outside of the city, Seifer took Zell’s hand.

“I wanted to do it before, but I thought you would be embarrassed since we are in your city…”

Zell sighted and gave him a kiss. “I don’t care about what people think. Don’t worry.”

Seifer smiled. They stopped in front of the sea. The sun already set, changing the color of the horizon in an orange ton. After few minutes, the stars began to shine in the sky. They sat on the sand. Zell put his head against Seifer’s arm. He enrolled his strong and long arm around Zell’s shoulder and fixed the sea. The night was calm. The wind blew softly in the trees. There was no noise except from the waves. They could see the Garden shining behind them.

“It’s nice…” said Zell.

“Yeah…” agreed Seifer. He felt nervous. He wanted to ask something to Zell but he was afraid about his answer. He talked with his Ma and she said he would be okay. Lulu told him the same…but maybe it was a bit sudden?

 Zell noticed Seifer wasn’t at ease. “Seif? What’s wrong?”

“What?”

“You’re distant…Is something bother you?”

“No…no, it’s okay…” replied Seifer with a hesitant voice.

Zell frowned. “You used to have a good poker face, you know? I can see you’re lying.”

Seifer laughed. “It’s your fault Chicken! You make me lose all my abilities!”

Zell got annoyed and punched him softly in the arm. “Idiot!”

Seifer kissed him and rubbed his hand on his back. “Don’t be mad. I don’t wanna see my lovely chocobo angry tonight…”

“Okay! I was planning to give you a wonderful night of sex but you made me change my mind!” complained Zell.

The tall blond laughed and hugged him. “Too bad…it would have been cool, especially today…”

Zell frowned. “Why today?”

After a long silence, Seifer finally answered with melancholy: “You know…it’s already a year that we are together today…”

Zell blushed. “Yes…I know. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you forgot…”

“I didn’t. How could I?”

They looked at each other, smiling and kissing tenderly. The love they shared was unique. All the past was erased…pain, insults, contempt, hatred, childhood, rivalry, war…everything disappeared when they finally understood…Now there were just their actual and mutual feelings.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” said Zell.

Seifer released Zell’s face after their kiss and put his hands on his pockets. “I…wanted to ask you something.”

“Yes?”

“I…thought a lot about it. I wasn’t sure it was the right time to tell you, but you know what I feel for you, and I would never have believed you could make me so happy. I think about you all the time and I can’t imagine my life without you…”

Zell smiled. “I feel the same for you, Seifer…I love you.” He pressed his body against his chest and wrapped his arms around his waist. He thought about what people said at the Garden. He felt sad to know that nobody saw who his lover was really; how nice and gentle he was, how much he loved him. “What did you want to ask me?” demanded Zell, still hugging him.

Seifer became nervous again: “You don’t have to say yes if you don’t wanna…I mean…it won’t change anything or my feelings for you so…”

Zell frowned and started to lose patience, fixing him in the eyes. “Tell me!”

Seifer released himself from their embrace, took a large breath and grabbed Zell’s hand with his. He put a ring on his finger. “Do you wanna…marry me?” asked Seifer timidly.

Zell blinked. He looked at his hand and fixed the ring. He couldn’t answer immediately. His mouth was wide open as if he had seen a ghost. He wondered if he heard correctly: _“Oh my God…he just asked me to marry him?!!”_ he thought.

“Zell?” asked Seifer.

But he didn’t reply. He was still fixing his hand like a big idiot.

“ _Damn! I knew it wasn’t the right time. He’s gonna feel guilty if he says no…I don’t want he agrees by default…what should I do?_ “Thought Seifer.

“Listen…you don’t have to say yes. I understand, it’s a bit sudden for you…I just wanted to prove you how much I love you…but if you know it, it would be enough, don’t force yourself please…” Seifer tried to explain when he saw Zell crying.

“Zell?”

“Yes…”

“What?”

“Yes…I wanna marry you Seifer…”

The tall blond stayed quiet. He couldn’t believe it. “ _He said yes! He said yes!”_ he repeated to himself.

Zell grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. When they broke the kiss, Zell was smiling, with more tears on his eyes. “You can’t imagine how much it means to me…” he whispered.

“Zell…”

“I feel so lonely when I’m not with you and Lulu…my heart hurts so much when I see Squall and Linoa, or Selphie and Irvine. I keep saying myself how much I miss you…I was afraid you got tired of me, still waiting for me to come back…” Zell held Seifer tightly, pressing his head against his neck.

“Honey…”

“You scared me…I thought you wanted to break up with me…I’m so happy!!”

Seifer took his face with his hands and wiped his tears. “I was so afraid you reject me. I wouldn’t had been mad if you had said no, but I don’t want you force yourself…”

“I want it. It’s the most beautiful proof of love that you could give to me…” said Zell with emotion.

“You know, I asked to your Ma and Lulu before. They encouraged me to make my demand…”

“Really? You asked to Ma???”

“Yes. I talked with her earlier and she told you would probably say yes. Lulu told me the same. I mean…it’s a common thing to marry if we love each other, don’t you think?”

“Sure…I’m just surprised, but in the good way!” He laughed. “God! You asked Ma’s permission to marry me…I feel like a princess…Such a gentleman you are!”

After a pause, Seifer spoke again: “I recalled what you said to me when we were at Deep Sea…”

“Ah? What did I say?”

“You said: “I belong to you. I won’t love anybody but you…” I never forgot those words…”

Zell raised his eyes to look his lover. He brushed his hair softly. “I meant what I said.”

“I know. I never told you I felt the same because I thought I would be imprisoned forever at this time. But I tell you now and I wanted to prove it.”

“Seifer…you had nothing to prove. I know you’re sincere, but I’m glad you did it. I’m so happy…”

They kissed passionately under the moonlight. The salty air of the sea caressed their skin. Nothing could disturb this moment; even the monsters in the land seemed to understand it and didn’t attack them. Seifer and Zell were in their little world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!  
> I hope you don't find this chapter too girly...i mean i'm a bit sentimental...(just a bit ^_^)  
> i love the way Laguna made his demand to Raine so i couldn't resist to write this scene...  
> tell me what you think about it. The next chapter would be less romantic...  
> see you!


	25. Time to palter

Everyone was in the city to celebrate Laguna and Quistis’s wedding. Authorities’ leaders and journalists were invited too. Everybody in the town talked about it. It was a bit hard for Laguna and Quistis. They had preferred a simple ceremony with friends and family but Laguna was an important personality as Esthar’s president, and Quistis was one of the heroes who defeated Ultimecia. Their wedding was the most important event since a long time. People came from every continent in the world to assist at the ceremony.

Seifer was Quistis’s witness but he was uncomfortable to appear in public. Everybody would probably talk about him during the ceremony, in newspapers and on the television. He didn’t want to embarrass Quistis, even if she told him people’s gossips weren’t important. But, now she would be the first lady of Esthar. She couldn’t be seen with the ex-sorceress’ knight as her witness. Seifer Almasy’s name had been cleared, but it didn’t mean that people forgot and forgave. He talked with Quistis and they decided to let Selphie took his place in the official ceremony.

They had celebrated a private wedding with just friends and family two days ago; Seifer was her witness this day. Edea was there too, with Cid. She didn’t have the courage to talk with him. She knew he was ashamed and scared after what Ultimecia forced her to do. She couldn’t face him, but she couldn’t miss Quistis’s wedding. Seifer smiled sadly at her and saluted her with his hand, but they didn’t converse. Squall told her he made progress with Geyser, so she felt relieved. He seemed to be happy with Zell and Lulu and it was the most important thing for her.

After the official ceremony, everyone was invited to a reception. Laguna made a confused speech as always when he was nervous. People laughed at him but everyone shared their happiness. Gossips traveled quickly about their age difference, or Quistis’s dress…but it was especially about Seifer’s presence. It was uncomfortable for him but Zell was there. He stayed on the balcony, alone, looking at the sky. The martial artist joined him and put his hand on his back.

“What are you doing here?” asked Zell.

Seifer turned around and smiled to his fiancé. “I was just getting some fresh air…Where’s Lulu?”

“She’s playing with Zack and Seifer.”

“I see. What about you?” asked the tall blond.

“I was looking for you. Why are you hiding here?”

“I’m not hiding…”

Zell approached and enrolled his arms around his hips. “Something’s wrong?”

“No…”

“Seifer, don’t lie.”

He sighted. “People are talking about me. I shouldn’t be there…”

Zell kissed his cheek. “Fuck them!”

Seifer laughed and rolled over to see his face, kissing him tenderly. “No. You’re the one I wanna fuck.”

Zell blushed and expressed amusement. “That’s a good answer! I’m a bit jealous anyway, it’s not like I would let somebody seduce you…”

“Hey! I’m not yours yet…” joked Seifer.

“Yes, you’ve got a point…”

Seifer smiled and traced the line of his tattoo with his long finger. “You know I’m just kidding…it’s not like anybody else wanted to be with me. You’re the only one to be rather crazy for that!”

“It’s not funny…” looked down Zell.

Seifer felt embarrassed. He just wanted to joke even if it was what he thought. “Zell…don’t make this face, please.”

“Don’t say that again.” Replied the tattooed man.

“You know I love you. I’m not with you because I couldn’t find anybody else, don’t misunderstand. I was just kidding…”

“I know.”

Seifer put his forehead against Zell’s, forcing his lover to look at him. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I used to make some bad jokes to you…I found this funny to make you angry, but I didn’t want to hurt you. I don’t realize I can be cruel or clumsy sometimes…”

“I’m not mad about this. It’s just…I hate what people think about you and it drives crazy to know that sometimes you agree with them!”

“I can’t deny what I am, Zell.”

“You deny every good point in you! If they could see who you are really, they wouldn’t think like that…”

Seifer closed his eyes, hugging his fiancé in his arms. “You’re just too cute, and too kind. There was a time you hated me, but now, it’s like this time had never existed. You forgot everything and you talk as if nothing happened. You can’t demand the same thing to the others.”

Zell released himself from Seifer’s embrace and fixed him. “I didn’t forget anything. I just think differently. Deep in your heart, you were the same man I see today, but you pretended to be another one. People judge you by appearances or acts and I used to do the same…I hate myself for that.”

“Zell, I hurt you. You had the right to hate me.”

“You didn’t “hurt” me Seifer. Okay…you made fun of me, but it wasn’t like you beat me or something…”

“I just tried to kill you…” said sarcastically Seifer.

“It wasn’t you. Stop blaming yourself all the time. They know nothing about you, so don’t listen what they say.”

 Seifer smiled. He liked Zell’s innocence and kindness.

“How could I ever expect anyone else when I already have the most wonderful and cutest chocobo that I could wish?” bantered Seifer laughing.

“You know what? This is exactly what I hate with you! You say kind and annoying words in the same sentence! What I’m supposed to say now? I want to beat you and on the same time I want to kiss you!” commented Zell exasperated.

“Well…what do you want the most?” asked Seifer with a seductive voice.

“As if you don’t have any clue, fucking jerk!”

The two lovers stayed on the balcony during a long time, kissing and laughing together. Some people noticed them, but they didn’t care. Selphie and Linoa watched them.

“They are so cute together!” said Selphie with a big smile.

“Yeah. I’m glad for them, even if it’s a bit unexpected to see them as a couple...” Added Linoa.

Quistis joined them. “I’ve never seen Zell and Seifer so happy.”

“Looks like everyone found his soul mate!” commented Linoa.

 “And God knows how it was hard for these two horse’s asses!” laughed Selphie.

 

* * *

 

Three days after the festivities, most of the orphanage gang returned to Balamb. Selphie, Irvine, Linoa and Zell went back at the Garden with Raijin and Fujin, but Squall stayed with Seifer, Lulu and Edea in Esthar with Quistis and Laguna. Seifer needed to see Geyser, since he couldn’t meet him last month. Zell still didn’t know anything.

Selphie was in the cockpit with Irvine, driving the Ragnarok. Laguna allowed them to take it. Zell was looking through the window, smiling. He played with his fingers, touching his ring under his glove. He remembered the day Seifer asked him to marry him…he was so happy. His Ma and Lulu were waiting for their return, hoping that everything was alright. When Seifer was entering first in the house, he winked at them and nodded with a smile, to mean that Zell said “yes”. Ma and Lulu were dancing of joy and held them tightly. It was a wonderful day. He forgot everything at this moment. Now, he wasn’t very enthusiast to return at the Garden but he avoided students and no one tried to provoke him again. He never talked with anyone except Linoa, Selphie, Irvine and Nida. He missed Quistis when he was at the Bgu, but he was glad she was happy with Laguna. Zell began to question his own relation with Seifer. They didn’t see each other often since he returned in Balamb. The separation was harder with the time. He couldn’t see Lulu grow up and he missed his lover. They didn’t talk about it with Seifer but Zell was thinking to quit. He liked his job but his family was more important and Seifer definitely wouldn’t come back at the Garden…he was interrupted in his thoughts when Linoa came to sit with him.

“Can i?” she asked.

“Sure. Where’s Zack?”

“He’s sleeping with Seifer. They are so tired that Fujin and I didn’t have to do anything to make them sleep…” she replied.

Fujin and Raijin joined them and sat. “So? How are things with Seifer and Lulu?” asked Fujin.

“Fine. I’m glad he stayed with Lulu in Esthar. They could sightsee before Lulu returns to school.” He answered, smiling.

The group seemed to be uncomfortable. They knew Seifer stayed to see Geyser, but no one said a word to Zell. Raijin finally broke the silence.

“Seifer seemed to get better, thanks to you, ya know?”

Zell blushed. “I don’t know if it’s just because of me but you’re right, he’s feeling better. He didn’t have nightmares since a long time and things between us are more…” Zell suddenly realized he was gonna talk about his sexual life…

“More?” frowned Linoa.

“More…simple!” replied Zell nervously and blushing. He didn’t really know how to finish his sentence.

Fujin laughed. “Good sex?” she asked.

Zell blinked. “WHAT?”

“You’re red. So, it means sex is good with him.” She answered.

 Zell was completely discomfited. He just wanted to hide in a hole and never get out. “That’s personal!”

“Come on! Don’t be shy!” Said Linoa.

Selphie and Irvine joined them. Nida was piloting the ship at her place. “What are you doing, guys?” asked Irvine.

“Teasing Zell about his sexual life!” joked Fujin.

“Really? I wanna know everything me too! Tell us! How is Seifer in bed?” demanded Selphie.

“Stop it! It’s embarrassing!” replied Zell annoyed.

“Come on, girls! Leave him alone. He’s so red he’s gonna explode…” said Irvine to help his friend.

“ _Thanks Irvine! You saved me_.” Thought Zell looking at the cowboy with a grateful look.

“I’ve something to tell you, guys…” began to explain Zell with a serious ton, removing his glove and hiding his hand with the other one. It was a right time to tell them. Nobody knew and he wanted to share his happiness with his friends.

“It sounds serious, ya know? Something’s wrong?” asked Raijin worried.

Zell smiled. “It’s serious, yes, but, don’t worry…it’s a good thing.”

“Tell us.” Demanded Selphie excited.

Zell took a big breath before speaking. “Seifer asked me…to marry him.” Zell showed them his hand with the ring. “We’re engaged.”

Raijin blinked and struggled, falling on the ground with the surprise. “WWHHAATT???”

Selphie jumped and yelled in joyfulness. “WWWOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!! That’s so cool!!!!”

“It’s wonderful Zell! I’m so happy for you two!!” commented Linoa, taking Zell’s hands with hers.

“Yes, man! That’s great!” added Irvine.

“AGREED!” said Fujin. “CONGRATULATIONS!”

Raijin finally got up and scratched his head. “I can’t believe it!! But it’s cool, ya know? I’m glad for you!”

Zell blushed but felt relieved. “Thanks guys!” Everyone congratulated him. He wasn’t afraid to tell them, but he wanted to wait after Quistis’s wedding to say it.

“Let’s celebrate!!!!” proposed Selphie.

 

* * *

Geyser was in his laboratory, waiting for Seifer and the rest of the group for his session. He was working on his computer when a guard entered.

“Doctor Geyser?” asked the man in uniform.

“I’m here.” Replied Gyeser.

The man approached and faced the doctor. “So? What should I do?”

Geyser turned his back and looked at him. “Zo, are you zure? It’z ztay between uz and I’ll give your money, okay?”

 “Don’t worry. I won’t say a word. I hate this bastard so everything you can do to hurt him is good for me.” Said the guard.

“Fine…lizten carefully…” started to explain Geyser, with a low voice.

The doctor didn’t notice his assistant was there. Chad hid behind a bookcase and tried to listen what they said. He was too far away to hear anything but he became more suspicious about Geyser. It was probably about Almasy, he knew it but he couldn’t prove it yet. The doctor already gave some strange substances to the subject. He tried to discover what was it but he found nothing. Geyser was careful. President Loire would definitely believe him if he told him that Geyser had given something to Almasy, but it would probably have bad consequences for the ex-sorceress’ knight. Chad felt sorry for Seifer after all what he saw, but the President’s son would be suspicious and would imprison him as a security measure because of the sorceress. He had serious convictions that Almasy’s fits during the experiences were caused by the substance Geyser gave him when he thought nobody saw him.

The guard left the laboratory with Geyser. Chad stayed hidden and took the opportunity of his absence to search some information in his computer. When he looked at the screen, he searched the last file Geyser consulted. He found an encrypted file on his laptop, named “project A”. He couldn’t open it, but he made a copy in his usb key. He didn’t have the time to search anything else that the doctor came back. He finished his copy, hiding the key in his pocket and faked to be at his post. Geyser frowned.

“Mizter Valentine? You’re already there? I didn’t zee you coming…”

“Hi professor! I just got here. I thought you were there…” he said trying to make Geyser confess what he was doing.

“Yez…I waz outzide…to take a break at the coffee machine…”

“I see. So? What can I do?”

“Check the zcreenz and the machinez pleaze.”

“Yes professor.”

Seifer arrived few minutes later with Squall and Laguna. They knew the procedure now. It was the third time they did it, but Seifer wasn’t afraid anymore. He knew one day he would end this, so he could finally live in peace. He was eager to start the next chapter of his life.

“Are you ready Mizter Almazy?” asked Geyser, after he had done all adjustments.

“Yes.”

The doctor nodded and connected the machines to him. He gave him the sedative and stayed by his side until he fell asleep. After a short time, Seifer closed his eyes and slept deeply, but Geyser didn’t move immediately. His assistant noticed it and frowned. Something was different in Geyser’s attitude, maybe it had a link with his meeting with the guard earlier…

Pictures appeared on the screens, it didn’t show the sorceress, soldiers or anything related to the last war…just recent memories about Zell and Lulu: The little girl playing with her bird, or Lulu sleeping in Zell’s arms, Zell making love with Seifer…

“Hum…could we switch these please?”  asked Squall blushing.

Laguna was uncomfortable too and looked away. “It’s embarrassing…” he muttered.

“I know, I’m zorry…” apologized Geyser.

During long minutes, they saw different scenes, essentially moments of happiness. It was a good thing but on the other side, it was a bit voyeuristic. Seifer didn’t have a private life since he was linked to the sorceress, but these moments belonged to him.

Suddenly, they heard a deafening noise. Everyone looked outside. It seemed to be an explosion inside the Palace.

“What’s going on?” asked Squall looking at his father.

“I don’t know…”

They got up and fixed the outside through the window. Chad joined them. Geyser took the opportunity they looked the other way to inject another syringe in Seifer’s arm discretely. When he had done, he went to them with an innocent look.

“Zo? What iz it?” asked the doctor.

“Maybe an explosion…I hope nobody has been hurt…I better go over there.” Said Laguna.

“What about Seifer?” asked Squall.

“I think we can ztop the experienze for today. The zubject doezn’t zeem to remember zome eventz relative to the zorcerezz. It doezn’t mean that he’z healed but it’z encouraging…” explained Geyser.

“Good. Let’s stop this for today.” Agreed Laguna.

 A soldier knocked and went in the laboratory. It was the same man who talked with Geyser earlier.

“Mister President! A gas main blew in the building.” He said quickly.

“Is anybody hurt?” asked Laguna.

“No Mister President. We secured the perimeter and technicians are repairing the damage.” Continued the soldier.

“Is it accidental or intentional?” demanded Laguna.

“It seems to be an accident. We didn’t notice intrusion or explosive device on the security cameras.”

“Alright. I’m gonna come with you.” Laguna looked at Chad and Geyser. “Mister Valentine. Call the infirmary and tell them to come up and get Seifer please.”

“Sure Mister President.”

Laguna and Squall left the laboratory with the soldier who gave a glance to Geyser. Chad noticed the connivance between the two men and realized what happened wasn’t just an “accident”. It was premeditated to distract them. He fixed the doctor with a suspicious look when Geyser asked him: “Zomething iz wrong Mizter Valentine?”

“Huh…no, Professor. I’m sorry…I was lost in my own thoughts.” He turned around and called the infirmary.

 

* * *

Zell came back at Balamb. Cid sent him to Timber with Selphie, Irvine and Linoa. They were supposed to assist the Forest Owls during peace negotiations with Galbadia. Linoa never left her group even if she didn’t make other actions since the kidnapping of the ex-president of Deling City. Another one took his place after the sorceress killed Winzer Delling, just after the last war. During the election, all the resistance groups had militated in favor of the independence of Timber. The new president promised to engage peace negotiations without ever mentioning independence. He finally came to Timber to discuss with groups.

Selphie, Irvine and Zell stayed outside of the room where the negotiations were, on the main hotel of the city. A pack of journalists, especially from the daily paper of _Timber maniacs_ , waited outside, on the streets. It was a historic moment for the little town and people.

“Do you think they’re gonna liberate Timber?” asked Selphie looking at the window.

“Maybe…I suppose Linoa’s father used his influence to organize this meeting.” Suggested Irvine.

 “I’m not sure about this. She didn’t talk to him since Zack’s birth and she’s too proud to ask him this.” Said Zell.

“But, I thought she came often to convince him? Even before Zack’s birth…”

“Yes, but they argued again about few months ago.” Added Zell.

“I see…” sighted Irvine.

After two hours, Linoa with the other members of resistance groups left the room. She joined Zell, Irvine and Selphie in the hall.

“So? How'd it go with the President?” asked Selphie.

“Galbadia Government agrees to grant autonomy for Timber…not independence…” replied Linoa disappointed.

“It’s better than nothing, right?” tried to comfort Irvine.

“I suppose…”

Zell smiled at her. “You helped Timber more that you can imagine, Linoa. It’s a good start, don’t give up. I’m sure one day, Timber will be free.”

These words seemed to bring smile to her again. “Thank you, guys!”

“Okay! Let’s celebrate the victory of Forest Owls!” proposed Selphie.

Zell and Irvine rolled their eyes. “Come'on Selph! Don’t you have ever enough to party?” asked Zell.

“Never! Let’s go!”

 

* * *

Chad left the Presidential Palace late in the night, but he didn’t come back home immediately. He went to visit one of his friends. He arrived in front of his building and rang to his doorbell.

“ _Who is it?_ ” asked a man’s voice.

“Hi Barett! It’s Chad. Can I come in?”

“ _Chad! Long time ago! Come in!_ ”

The door opened and he entered in the building. He took the elevator and went at the third floor. He knocked at the door. A big and strong black man faced him. He had short black hair and brown eyes. He wore a short bear with a goatee. He had a green shirt with black pants and large black boots.

“Nice to see you again, man! Come in!” Barett welcomed him.

“Thanks. How are you?” asked Chad.

“Fine, fine…what about you?”

“Not bad…hum, listen Barett, I came to ask you something…”

“Yes? What can I do for you?”

Chad took the usb key in his pocket and showed it to his friend. “I have an encrypted file on my key. I can’t open it…It's secured by several passwords. I don't know what to do...”

Barett took the key. “Let me see.”

He followed the big man in his living room and sat on chairs, in front of a computer. Barett introduced the key and looked at the file.

“Project A?”

“Yes. Can you open it?”

Barett typed on his computer keyboard and fixed the screen. “Hum…there’re a lot of levels of safety…damn! The one who did that is really good!”

“Come' on Barett, you’re the best! I’m sure you can do it!”

“Hey, thanks man!” he continued to press few keys. “I need more time, Chad…”

“How much time do you need?”

“ Dunno…two or three days, maybe a week, who knows?”

“I see…” Chad looked at the ground disappointed.

“What is it?” asked Barett.

“I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s important, that’s why I need to read it quickly.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Thanks, man. Call me when you’ll do it and your price will be mine.”

“Nah! Are you kidding? I won’t take your money, man! Don’t worry. I’ll work all the day if it’s necessary!”

“Thank you Barett.”

 

* * *

Seifer stayed at the Palace that night. Squall was already returned at the Garden, but Edea was still here. She had dinner with Quistis, Laguna, Seifer and Lulu. Late in the night, after Seifer put Lulu to bed, he was walking in the corridor. He went outside, on the balcony, looking at the stars in the sky. He was thinking about Zell. He missed him. He opened his hand and fixed the ring on his finger, smiling. On the same hand, he wore the brown leather strap that Lulu made for his birthday. He thought about his current life…so many things happened since the end of the last war. Now, he had a child and a lover; his posse was restored and the orphanage gang was complete. He was happy, hoping desperately that nothing would change…now it was his time…time for another chance.

He heard somebody walking toward him. He looked at behind him to see who was it but he understood before seeing because of the sweet scent. It was Edea…he could recognize her just with her scent.

“Matron?”

“Hi Seifer…did i disturb you?”

“Not at all.”

“Good…can I join you?”

“Sure.”

She approached hesitating. She put her elbows on the guardrail of the balcony and looked at the sky. Seifer did the same without saying any word. It was hard for them to talk normally because of so many painful memories…

“You seem to be happy…” said Edea with a shy voice.

“I am.” Seifer smiled at her. “I’m not alone now…”

“I’m glad for you. I was so worried…”

“I know, Matron.”

They kept silent during a long time when Edea finally found the courage to say what she wanted so badly.

“I’m sorry…for what I’ve done to you Seifer…I feel so guilty…forgive me…” she began to cry, hiding her face with her hands. Seifer looked at her sadly. He wanted to hold her in his arms but he couldn’t. He wasn’t angry against her…but he just couldn’t.

“I’m not mad against you, Matron. I know it wasn’t you. You would have never done this to me or to anyone…don’t blame yourself, please.” Said Seifer, trying to reassure her.

“Forgive me…” she repeated.

“Matron…don’t cry please…you saved me, and if you hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have been here today…”

She didn’t reply. She felt so ashamed. Ultimecia forced her to do so many cruel things that she couldn’t forget.

“I still love you…it’s hard for me to forget what happened…and to be honest with you, I’m still scared to touch you, but you’re precious to me…”

“I love you too, darling…I’m so sorry…”

Seifer took a large breath and found the courage in himself to hug her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and put his hand behind her head, pressing her body against his chest. “Don’t cry…it’s okay now. Forget the past…” Whispered Seifer to her ear.

She was surprised. She didn’t expect Seifer could be so strong to face his fears…she was in his arms, her, the woman who gave him so much pain, the one who ruined his life, who brainwashed him…but she was happy. This embrace was so comforting that she felt relieved and stopped to cry. After few minutes, they released each other.

“Thank you, darling.” She said smiling at him. She caressed his cheek tenderly. Seifer wasn’t afraid. Maybe because he was stronger now? Even if Ultimecia was still in him, he knew she wasn’t strong enough to take control of Edea again.

Seifer fixed her with kindness. “You know…I’m happy you stayed here tonight. I wanted to talk with you about something…”

“Yes? Tell me.”

“I’m…engaged with Zell.” He showed her his ring. “I asked him to marry me.”

Edea took Seifer’s hand with her and fixed the ring. “Seifer…I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you…I wanted to tell you because I hope you would come to our wedding.”

Edea raised her eyes to look at him. “I would like to be there for you two so badly…but I’m not sure I have my place…I mean, I don’t know how Zell would react.”

“He would be angry if you don’t come. Me either.”

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll come. I promise. Thank you so much.”

Seifer felt relieved and nodded.

 

* * *

The next day on the morning, after the breakfast, Geyser went to Laguna’s office proposing to restart the experience with Seifer. Laguna talked with Seifer and they agreed. He called Squall to inform him. Lulu stayed with Edea. She was playing with her bird; he followed her everywhere she went. Quistis, Kiros and Laguna accompanied Seifer to the laboratory. It was early in the morning. Laguna was surprised that Geyser’s assistant wasn’t there.

“Where is your assistant?” asked Laguna to Geyser.

“Oh…he waz feeling zick thiz morning Mizter Prezident…don’t worry, I can do thiz alone…” replied Geyser.

The doctor didn’t say a word to his assistant. In fact, he wanted to put him away because he knew Chad was starting to suspect something. The young man arrived at the end of the morning every day, so Geyser had the time to perform his experiences. The others wouldn’t notice anything since they would probably fix the screens. Normally, Geyser waited two months to see the effects of his experiences on Seifer, but yesterday, the subject didn’t react at all. That was why he decided to do it again.

After giving the sedative to him, he let him fall asleep. Pictures appeared, and Quistis, Laguna and Kiros were fixing the screens. When Seifer was unconscious, Geyser injected him another syringe in his arm. The doctor returned to his computer, fixing his guinea pig intensely to watch the effects of the substance. But the tall blond didn’t react. His memories were still the same that yesterday: just recent memories with Zell and Lulu. The group felt suddenly embarrassed when they saw Zell who was making love with Seifer.

“Pretty hot…” commented Quistis smiling.

Laguna and Kiros blushed. “Geyser!”

“I know Mizter Prezident but I can’t control hiz thoughtz…I’m looking for memoriez about the zorcerezz but…it’z hard…it dependz of the zubject’z mood…” explained Geyser.

“Okay…let’s stop this.” Concluded Laguna.

“Too bad…it was so intense…” said Quistis.

Laguna looked at her surprised. “Honey!”

She laughed and kissed him tenderly. “I’m just kidding…you’re right, we can’t watch this. Seifer and Zell would be angry against us…”

“They would have the right to.” Added Kiros. “I’m gonna call the infirmary for him.”

“Okay. We’re waiting.” Agreed Laguna.

Kiros left the laboratory. Geyser stopped the experience and turned off the machines. Quistis went near to Seifer looking at him with a happy smile when she felt something was wrong with the tall blond. She touched his cheek. He was sleeping peacefully, but there was something that she couldn’t describe around him…something scaring…Laguna noticed Quistis’s look.

“Honey? Something’s wrong?” he asked.

Quistis made a pause, still fixing Seifer intensely as if she tried to understand her own feelings. “I feel…something strange…”

“What do you mean?” asked Laguna worried.

“I don’t know…I mean, he looks fine…but, I can’t describe this. I feel something…something malefic…” she replied.

Geyser approached. “The zorcerezz…”

“What?” asked Laguna.

“I told you zhe waz ztill here even if Mizter Almazy doezn’t think about her…zhe iz in him.” Answered Geyser.

“We’ll destroy her. We won’t let her come back.” said firmly Laguna. “Never.”

 

* * *

Chad prepared his stuff to go to his work. He wanted to find what Geyser was plotting before the next experience with Seifer. He was sure, now: Geyser didn’t try to help Almasy. President Loire was right to suspect him. The young man was thinking to talk with the president today, even if he didn’t have any proof, he had to do it. It was already late in the morning when his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

_“Chad? It’s Barett! I did it.”_

“Really?”

_“Yes, man. I worked all the night, I figured out it was important for you.”_

“You saved me! I thought you needed more time?”

_“Yes…it wasn’t easy to tell you the truth but I finally decrypted the file. I’m at home all the day; you can come whenever you want.”_

“I’m coming right now! Thank you so much Barett!”

_“You’re welcome! I’m waiting for you.”_

“I’m leaving now from my home. I’ll be there in few minutes. Thanks!”


	26. Time to remember

Seifer and Lulu returned to Winhill at the beginning of the afternoon. Edea left too to go back to Balamb. Laguna was in his office when Quistis knocked and entered.

“Hi Honey! What are you doing?” she asked.

“Just reading…I’m taking a break.” He replied.

Quistis approached and kissed him. “It’s good to see you relaxing…” she said caressing his hair gently.

“Yes…but I feel lonely…” he answered with a seductive voice.

“Maybe I can keep you company?” she proposed, sitting on his lap.

Laguna put his hands on her hips and kissed her passionately. “It would be great…we didn’t have so much time since the wedding.”

“I know. Official meetings, trade agreements…and Seifer. It’s hard to find a moment for us.”

“You’re right, but I’m glad he’s getting better.”

“Me too.” Quistis smiled with malice. “Seifer and Zell are pretty hot, don’t you think?” she asked smirking.

Laguna became red. “Please Quis, don’t mention that ever again, it’s…very very very embarrassing!”

She laughed. “It’s a good thing! You should be happy for them.”

“I am, but…I’m not sure you would react this way if they saw us making love, you know?”

“Sure, but they don’t need to know.”

“I’m not stupid enough to tell them this! Do you imagine how Seifer and Zell would say if we told them that we watched them fucking…Seifer would probably kill us with his gunblade!”

“And Zell would hide in a hole for the rest of his life!” she joked.

“Yes!” Laguna laughed.

They were interrupted when someone knocked at the door.

“Come in!” said Laguna.

It was Geyser’s assistant. He seemed to be exhausted, trying desperately to breathe. He probably ran fast. Quistis and Laguna fixed him, surprised.

“Ah…I’m..sorry to disturb you…Mister President…but..it’s..ah…im..important!” said Chad between short and heavy breaths.

“Mister Valentine! What’s wrong? I figured out you were sick…” Laguna told him.

“Huh?” frowned Chad.

“Yes. Geyser told me this morning you were sick, that was why you weren’t there when we tried the experience again with Seifer…” explained Laguna.

“You…you did it again with Mister Almasy?” The young man asked, panicked.

“Yes…but what’s wrong with you?”

“Nobody told me! And I wasn’t sick! I just came later on the morning like the other days, since the experience was planned in two months…” answered Chad.

“What? Are you kidding me?” asked Laguna.

“No Mister President! If I knew you would have done the experience again, I would have asked you to stop this. How did Mister Almasy react?”

“Why would you ask me that? What’s wrong ? Tell me!”

Quistis crossed her arms. “Seifer reacted like yesterday. There was no memory related to the sorceress so we stopped it and he came back to Winhill. Is there something you want to tell us Mister Valentine?”

“Yes Miss…I discovered something terrible about the professor…”

“What is it?” asked Laguna worried.

Chad approached. “I suspected Geyser since the beginning, when we started the experiences with Mister Almasy, but I couldn’t prove anything. I’ve tried to spy him but he was always careful. I think he knew that I suspected him, that’s why he kept me far away…”

“Tell us.”

Chad gave him a big file including more than five thousand pages.

“Project A? What is this?” asked Laguna.

“I found this in Geyser’s computer. The file was encrypted so I asked my friend to help me…I read it before coming and…” Chad stopped to talk. He was nervous. Quistis noticed and tried to reassure him.

“Mister Valentine, if Geyser did something illegal, you have to tell us. There will be nothing against you.”

Chad took a short breath and started to explain: “The Project A is a secret and unofficial research program about the effects of the magic on humans. It began about seventeen years ago…”

“The effects of the magic…on humans? What do you mean?” asked Laguna.

“At the beginning, the program wanted to determine how humans could protect themselves from magic spells. At this time, Geyser and other scientists discovered new and unknown white magic spells …but the program changed when Geyser decided to perform other experiences. He used humans like guinea pigs…but without their agreement.”

“How?” asked Quistis.

“He used homeless people, junkies and tramps. Nobody would have asked or worried about these kind of population…”

“The bastard!” grumbled Laguna.

“Continue please.” Asked Quistis.

“They were sixteen: men, women, children and old people…some of them were already in bad condition, fragile and sick because of the lack of food, or because they took drugs…Geyser captured them and locked all these people in a secret area in Tears’ point and…” Chad made a pause and sighted before continuing his story. “He transplanted cells on his guinea pigs…”

“Cell transplant?” demanded Laguna. “What kind of cells?”

“Monsters’ cells…”

“Huh?”

“They mixed DNA from monsters with theirs…”

“God…” shivered Quistis.

“What?? It can’t be true!! WHY?” asked angry Laguna.

“I don’t know…he probably wanted to create a new creature race between monster and human…or maybe he just wanted to experiment…His guinea pigs didn’t exist for most of the people in Esthar, it was already a rich city a long time ago, so homeless people didn’t have their place there, nobody missed them…” tried to explain Chad.

They stayed quiet for a short time. Laguna looked at the pages without really reading. He was so angry he didn’t have the patience for this.

“What happened to these people?” He asked.

“After few months, nine of them died. Five became monsters and were killed. Only two persons had survived. A young woman about eighteen, named Celes Lockart, and a three-year-old boy.” He stopped to talk. Laguna frowned.

“A child? What was his name?” asked Laguna.

Chad fixed him sadly. “Page 22.”

Laguna leafed through the file and stopped at the page that Chad told him. He read quickly the lines when he opened widely his eyes, in shock.

“No…it can’t be true…” he whispered.

“What is it?”asked Quistis worried.

But Laguna didn’t reply immediately. He raised his head to fix Chad as if he wanted he confirmed what he had seen. Quistis who was in front of him looked concerned.

“Laguna? What is it? “she asked again.

“Seifer Almasy…” replied Laguna.

“What? What about Seifer?” demanded Quistis.

 He held her the file. “The child who survived, subject n°7…Seifer Almasy.”

“WHAT?” shouted Quistis taking the document quickly to check the information. After few seconds, she raised her head, disconcerted. “It’s…it’s impossible…”

“I was in shock too when I found this. Mister Almasy already knew Geyser when he came to Esthar. It wasn’t the first time they met…” said Chad.

Quistis sat heavily on the chair, still in shock. Laguna was completely lost in his thoughts too. They couldn’t believe it. All this time, Geyser lied to them. He knew Seifer and he didn’t have the intention to help him, he just wanted to continue his experiences.

“What…happened to Seifer and the young woman?” asked finally Quistis.

“To make short, Miss lockart escaped from the center, and two weeks later, a group of four persons kidnapped the kid. The program stopped…until Geyser opened it again recently…” answered Chad.

“What do you mean “recently”?” asked Laguna.

“I think…Geyser gave to Mister Almasy other substances during the experiences…that would explain why he felt strange and sick. I’m sure it doesn’t have a link with the sorceress. I saw Geyser gave him another syringe during the first experience. He did discreetly…I thought at the beginning it was nothing, just another dose of sedative, but now we know about the project A, it’s definitely something different…” said Chad.

“I’M GONNA KILL THIS BASTARD!” yelled Laguna angry.

“We should arrest him, right now. We can’t wait.” Added Quistis.

“You’re right.” Laguna took his phone. “Kiros? Come in my office right now with Ward please.”

Laguna got up and walked toward Valentine. “Did you see other things suspicious during the experiences with Seifer?”

“No Mister President…except something before we started during the third time. Do you remember the soldier who came in your office to inform you about the explosion on the building?”

“Yes. What about it?”

“I saw him talking with Geyser before you arrived with your son and Mister Almasy. I’ve tried to listen what they said but I was too far away to hear anything and I came a bit late, just at the end of their meeting…”

“DAMN! HE EVEN CORRUPTED SOLDIERS??? I’M GONNA PUNCH HIS FACE SO HARD THAT HE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO TALK AFTER THAT!!” Laguna was furious. He couldn’t contain his anger anymore.

Quistis stood up. “Do you know what kind of substances he gave to Seifer?”

“No Miss…I just saw him during the first experience. I didn’t find anything or I would have come to tell you…I wasn’t sure about this, that’s why I wanted to have proofs to accuse him…I’m sorry…” Chad looked down. He felt Quistis’s hand on his shoulder.

“You helped us a lot Mister Valentine. You don’t have to be sorry.”

Kiros and Ward knocked and went into the office. “What’s wrong?” asked Kiros.

Laguna turned around and looked at them. “Put Geyser under arrest right now! I need you to question him quickly.”

“Geyser? What for?” asked Kiors surprised.

“Mister Valentine will explain you. I need to call Squall now. I’m gonna leave soon, so prepare the Ragnarok, please.” Said Laguna.

“The Ragnarok? Where are you going?”

“Winhill.”

 

* * *

 

Squall was in the Headmaster’s office with Cid. He gave him the last reports about recent missions. Linoa called him after her meeting with the President of Deling City. He was a bit disappointed for her that they couldn’t sign the independence of Timber, but he was relieved she was safe.

“I suggest we can use the next missions for the Seed exam, Sir.” Proposed Squall.

“it’s a good idea, but we need more time to prepare written exams. I’m gonna talk about it with Xu.” Replied Cid.

“Yes Sir.” Squall got up and started to leave when Cid called him.

“Wait a minute Squall, please. I have something to tell you before you leave.”

“Yes?”

Cid stood up and crossed his hands behind his back. “It’s about…Zell.”

“Zell?” frowned Squall.

“Yes. He gave me his resignation. He wants to quit.”

Squall froze. Zell was his best friend and he didn’t talk about this with him. It was an important decision…and he didn’t know anything. Cid looked at him with an understanding look.

“I know it’s probably a shock for you. I’m sorry but I had to tell you to plan the next missions…and because Zell is your friend.”

“Thank you Sir…I’m just surprised he didn’t tell me before…”

“Yes. I told him the same thing, but he replied it was already hard for him and he didn’t want you try to convince him to stay. I think he wants to live with Seifer and Lulu.”

“I suppose. Zell told me they were engaged with Seifer…”

“Yes, Edea told me too.”

“But…it’s so sudden…”

“I understand. Don’t be mad at him please.”

“I’m not Sir.”

“Good. Thank you Squall.”

“Sir.” Squall saluted the headmaster and left his office.

He was lost in his thoughts. Zell…decided to quit. He understood but it was hard for him to accept his best friend would leave soon. He stopped in the main hall, in the middle of the stairway.

“ _Maybe there was another reason? What about the incident in the cafeteria? Maybe he didn’t feel safe here anymore because of what people think about his relationship with Seifer?”_ thought Squall.

He was cut in his thoughts when his cell phone rang. He picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

_“Squall? It’s Laguna.”_

“Hi Dad. What’s wrong?”

_“I’m gonna take the Ragnarok with Quistis. Where are you?”_

“In Balamb, at the Garden. Where are you going?”

_“Winhill. Can you come with us? It’s important.”_

“What’s wrong?”

_“I can’t tell you on the phone. Are you free now?”_

“Yes…”

_“Okay, I’ll take you at the Garden in few hours.”_

“it’s about Seifer?”

_“Yes. Geyser lied to us. He’s in jail now.”_

“You put Geyser in jail??? Why?”

_“I’ll explain you later. Wait for us. I’ll call you when I’ll arrive at Balamb.”_

“Okay…see you.”

_“Bye.”_

 Squall could feel anger and anxiety in Laguna’s voice. Something happened with Geyser if his dad decided to imprison him. He just hoped that Seifer was safe.

After few hours, the Ragnarok arrived at Balamb. It was already the end of the afternoon. Squall waited outside, just in front of the Garden. He entered in the ship. Quistis and Laguna went to meet him. The ship didn’t waste time and left the small island for the next destination: Winhill.

“Dad, Quistis.” Said Squall.

“Hi. I’m sorry to disturb you but it’s an emergency.” Laguna told him. He was nervous.

“I can see that…tell me what happened. You said the experience didn’t cause any trouble to Seifer, like yesterday…” started to ask Squall.

“It’s not about the experience Squall…We discovered something more frightening…” replied Quistis. “Let’s go to the main room.”

They left the cockpit and went to the reunion room. They sat.

“Tell me.”

Quistis held him the same document Chad gave them earlier.

“Mister Valentine found this in Geyser’s computer. The project A was a secret research program Geyser started about seventeen years ago. To be short, he performed some experiences on human guinea pigs transplanting them some monsters cells to mix their DNA together. The guinea pigs were homeless people and most of them died during the experience except two persons: a woman and a child…” explained Quistis.

Squall frowned. He read few pages of the document and after a short pause, he asked: “Okay…Geyser made illegal researches…it’s not like we didn’t know he was a bastard but…what does this have to do with Seifer? And why now?”

“The child…it was Seifer, Squall.” Answered Laguna.

“WHAT?” blinked Squall.

“Yes. He was about three. His name figured in the list. Look at the page 22.” Added Quistis.

He did it. “Subject n°7 : Seifer Almasy…” He raised his head and fixed his father. “Oh God…”

“You understand now why I wanted you come with us. We need to talk with Seifer…” said Laguna.

“Kiros is questioning Geyser now. We think he used the recent experiences with Seifer to continue the project A. Valentine saw him giving Seifer a strange substance, but we didn’t find proofs…” continued Quistis.

“Do…you think Seifer recognized Geyser? I mean, if he knew him, he would have never trusted him…” asked Squall.

“He was young. Maybe he didn’t remember…but it’s strange he survived at these experiences…he was just a child.” Said Quistis.

“We need to ask him. I think he already came back to Winhill now.” Concluded Laguna.

 

* * *

 

Zell was still in Timber with Irvine, Selphie and Linoa. They planned to stay three days to be sure that the accord with Galbadia would be respected. All the resistance groups had demanded the immediate withdrawal of the occupying troops. After two days, a large part of Galbadian army had already left the city. The four friends were in a pub.

“So? We have still an open day. What should we do?” asked Selphie.

“I’m gonna stay here with Watt and Zone. What about you?” demanded Linoa.

“Dunno…maybe we can go to Deling City?” proposed Irvine. “Yes. It’s a good plan!” agreed Selphie.

“Sorry guys, but I think I’m gonna visit Seifer and Lulu. Winhill is not far away from here, I can rent a car or take the train…” said Zell.

“Ooooh…it will be hot!!!” suggested Selphie.

Zell blushed. “Stop it!”

“Come on! It’s natural…I mean you two don’t see each other often since you work at the Garden so we can understand…”Said Selphie.

Zell looked down sadly. “Yes…”

They became embarrassed to see Zell like this. Selphie felt a little ashamed. “Sorry Zell…don’t be mad, I was just teasing you…”

“I know, it’s just…I miss them. It’s hard to be far away from them all the time.” Replied Zell.

“For sure, man. We understand. You should leave tonight If you want. You could stay with them a bit longer.” Suggested Irvine.

“Maybe. Thanks, guys!”

They smiled at him. “So? When are you gonna marry?” asked Selphie.

“We didn’t discuss about that yet…”

“Will you wear a white wedding dress?” joked Selphie.

“Don’t you ever shut up?” replied Zell annoyed.

Everyone laughed at him. Zell was so easy to tease that they understood why Seifer took so much pleasure to make fun of him in the past. Zell became suddenly serious.

“I need to tell you something, guys…Squall doesn’t know already so don’t tell him please.” Said Zell.

“Oh…what’s wrong?” asked Irvine worried.

“I decided to quit.”

Nobody said a single word. They were surprised and shocked. Zell fixed them with a smile.

“I know it’s surprising for you but…Seifer and Lulu need me and I need them. All of you are together every time, Quistis left the Garden for Laguna…it’s time for me to stay with my family too. I love my job but…I want to live with them, to see Lulu grow up and to stay with Seifer…I hope you understand…”

Irvine put his hand on Zell’s shoulder.” Of course, Zell. We know how hard it is for you and…even if we’re gonna miss you, you have to do it.”

“Yes. Your place is with your family. We’re happy for you.” Agreed Linoa.

“Did you tell it to Seifer?” asked Selphie.

“Not yet. I’m sure he would try to make me change my mind because he knows how much I like my job…that’s why I want to wait to tell him…same for Squall.”

“Okay. We won’t say a word. Promised!” said Selphie.

 

* * *

Lulu and Seifer returned in Winhill after six hours of train. They were tired. It was already 19:00. Seifer was preparing dinner. Lulu was playing with Chickie but she felt asleep waiting to eat. When Seifer saw her, he smiled, caressing her cheek tenderly. He carried her to her bed. She opened her eyes a little.

“Vivi?”

“I know you’re tired, sweetie. Dinner will be ready in one hour, so you can sleep until I finish, okay?”

“Hum…”

“Have sweet dreams, honey.” He kissed her forehead and covered her with the blanket. Chickie stayed with Lulu, on the pillow at her left.

Seifer returned to the kitchen. He was cooking a chicken with mushrooms and potatoes. He laughed when he thought about the chicken. It remembered him Zell. He smiled sadly…how he missed him. He wanted to feel his presence by his side…to touch his body, to kiss him, to say him how much he loved him…it was hard for him to wake up every day in an empty bed, even if Lulu slept often with him. He missed his lover, but he couldn’t ask Zell to quit his job. It was selfish, but on the same time, one day they would have to think about it.

Seifer let simmer the dinner gently and went to the living room, sitting on the sofa when somebody knocked at his door. He was surprised. Maybe someone had been hurt in the village and needed him? He got up and opened door.

“Hi.”

Seifer frowned, seeing Squall, Quistis and Laguna. “Hi Guys! What are you doing here?”

“Can we come in please?” asked Squall.

“Sure…”

Seifer let them enter in the small house.

“Lulu’s sleeping upstairs. Don’t make noises please, she’s exhausted…”

“Yes.” Agreed Quistis.

“Have a seat. Wanna drink something?” proposed Seifer.

“No thanks. We have to talk.” Said Squall.

Quistis and Laguna sat on the sofa, but Squall was still up. Seifer felt worried.

“What’s wrong? Why did you come here?” asked the tall blond.

Squall looked at his father. “Did you meet Geyser before we started these experiences?” asked Laguna.

Seifer was nervous. He didn’t understand why they asked that. “Why?”

“Tell us.” Said firmly Squall.

The tall blond became annoyed. He couldn’t support to receive orders, especially from the “Ice Princess”.

“Is that an order? Where do you think you are Squally-boy?” he replied angrily.

Quistis got up. “Does the “project A” mean something to you?”

Seifer blinked. He looked at her with surprise. “Wh..at?”

She crossed her arms. “I think you know what we are talking about, Seifer. Tell us.”

He sat heavily in the chair behind him, fixing the ground with a shocked look.

“Geyser’s assistant found the documents in his computer. We already arrested him, but we want to hear what you know…” explained Laguna.

Seifer sighted. “What…do you know?”

“We know you survived with another woman to his experiences and you were kidnapped two weeks after she escaped…He transplanted you monsters’ cells…and you survived even if you were just a child…” started to say Quistis. “We need to know what happened. Tell us Seifer.”

The blond looked her and finally spoke after a long pause. “I lived in the streets at this time…it was hard to find food or a decent place to stay for the night…”

“Where were your parents? We saw them in your memories…” said Squall.

“They weren’t my parents…I stayed with them when I left the research center…I don’t remember my real parents…I was already an orphan when they came to take us…”

“They?”

“Soldiers…and scientists. They said they would give us new clothes, food and we would sleep in a soft bed…some of us didn’t want to come with them but they forced everyone to go. We were scared…”

“Where did they take you?” asked Squall, sitting on a chair in front of Seifer.

“I don’t know…it was a bright place with boxes everywhere…there was nobody there, just soldiers and scientists…”

“Tears’ point…what happened next?”said Quistis.

“They forced us to strip and they washed us with water hoses, throwing us blocks of soap…when we finished, they gave us clothes and they examined everyone, one after another. They took our height, weight, age, and other characteristics before attributing a number…I was le number 7…”

Seifer made a pause. He was exhausted and…sad. It was hard for him to remember these memories. He wanted to continue his story when they heard somebody knocking at the door and entered.

“Seifer, Lulu! I’m home!” Zell didn’t have the time to close the door when he saw Quistis, Squall and Laguna. “Guys? What are you doing here?”

“Zell?” Seifer got up surprised.

“You should be in Timber. What are you doing here?” asked Squall annoyed.

“The mission is over. Galbadian army left Timber so we had an open day. I took the opportunity to visit Seifer and Lulu…” explained Zell. “What about you? What are you doing here?”

Seifer approached to give him a kiss. “I’m happy to see you, Honey…”

Zell looked at his lover, smiling. They were gonna kiss, Zell putting his hand Seifer’s cheek when his lover reacted violently at the touch of his skin.

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled Seifer, pushing Zell away brutally, grabbing his throat with his hand.

Zell hit the door behind him and tried to release himself from Seifer’s grip. “Sei..f..” He couldn’t breathe; Seifer strangled him with an incredible strength. His eyes were frightening…as if he was possessed.

Squall, Quistis and Laguna ran toward them and tried to move him away from Zell.

“SEIFER! STOP IT!” yelled Squall.

 “YOU’RE GONNA KILL HIM!” shouted Laguna.

Zell started to lose consciousness…the lack of air was hard to handle. Quistis hit Seifer on the legs and he finally let Zell go…he fell on his knees, trying desperately to find his mind again. Squall went to Zell and helped him. The martial artist was scared and shocked. He was still shaking.

“Zell? Are you okay?” asked Squall.

But Zell didn’t reply. He breathed heavily, still in shock. Squall touched his forehead. He was sweating of fear. “Zell…calm down, it’s okay…”

Seifer looked around him, knocked. “What…what happened?” he asked. He finally noticed Zell and became worried. “Zell? Honey? Are you okay?”

Zell had his eyes wide open. He was trembling so hard that Squall couldn’t cool him. Laguna touched Seifer’s shoulder and realized that the tall blond didn’t react. He understood immediately.

“Zell? Are you junctionned?” demanded Laguna.

The tattooed man looked at him still scared but replied with a trembling voice. “Y..es…I have..Ifrit…”

“Shit! I forgot it. That’s why he reacted like that…” said Squall.

Zell frowned. “What?”

Seifer began to panic. “What happened? What I’ve done?” he asked looking at Quistis and Laguna.

“Seifer…you attacked Zell…he’s junctionned and we didn’t tell him about…” said Quistis but Seifer didn’t listen to her and became worried for Zell.

“No! Zell! I’m so sorry…I didn’t want to hurt you…I’m sorry…” he explained, shaking. He approached when Squall stopped him.

“Seifer! Zell is still junctionned. You can’t touch him.”

The tall blond was so depressed that he was about to cry. He looked at his lover who was terrified. “I’m so sorry…”

Everyone looked behind them when they heard some noises.

“Vivi?”

It was Lulu. She woke up when she heard shouts. She ran toward them when she saw Zell.

“Zelly? What happened? I heard someone screaming…”

“It’s okay Lulu…I’m happy to see you, Angel…” said Zell.

She held him but she released him quickly when she saw Seifer crying.

“Vivi? Why are you crying?”

Seifer didn’t reply. He hid his face with his hand, trying to wipe his tears. “I’m sorry…”

“Vivi…”

Quistis and Squall helped Zell to stand up. The martial artist wanted to comfort his lover but Squall grabbed his arm.

“You’re junctionned, you can’t.”

“But…WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?” asked Zell angry. “Everyone seems to know something. TELL ME!”

Lulu caressed Seifer’s cheek to comfort him. Laguna put his hand on his shoulder.

“We should go to Esthar, Seifer. Valentine could make some analyses. Geyser would probably not tell us the truth…”said Laguna.

“I can’t leave…Lulu has school tomorrow, and she’s exhausted with the train…”replied Seifer.

“I know, but it won’t be long with the Ragnarok and we just need few days…”

Zell became anxious. “Is there anybody here who could explain me what’s wrong, please? What about Geyser and why Seifer needs to make analyses???”

“Okay…maybe we could talk in the Ragnarok? It’s already late and we need to come back to Esthar. I think we could make the analyses tomorrow, but it’s better if we leave now…Don’t worry, Zell, we’re gonna explain everything.” Concluded Squall.

“You’re right…” said Quistis.

“We should let Lulu in Balamb in my home with my Ma. The road is long into Esthar, even with the Ragnarok…” suggested Zell.

“No Zelly. I wanna come with you.”

Seifer reassured her touching her hair with his hand. “It’s already late Lulu. You need to sleep. I promise I’ll come back quickly with Zelly. Plus Ma misses you. I prefer you stay with her tonight, please.”

She looked down, agreeing. “Fine…if Zelly is with you, it’s okay.”

“Good. Go back to your room to take your shoes.”

“I’m coming with you.” Said Zell, taking her hand. They walked silently to Lulu’s bedroom. Seifer looked at them sadly.

“I’m gonna take something to eat for her.” Said the tall blond.

“Let me help you.” Added Quistis following him to the kitchen.

When everybody was ready, they left the small town and went outside. Laguna called the Ragnarok and they entered in the ship. Nobody said a single word until they arrived in Balamb. Zell accompanied Lulu to his house.

“Zelly?”

“Yes, Sweetie?”

“Vivi is sad. Comfort him please…”

Zell smiled and took his daughter in his arms. “I will. Don’t worry okay? Try to sleep and eat. Vivi did a good dinner for you, don’t disappoint him.”

“Yes…”

“It’s okay, Darling, please, don’t worry too much.”

“I’m gonna try…”

They arrived quickly. Zell let Lulu with his mother and said them goodbye, before returning to the airship. The Ragnarok left the small island without wasting time. Everyone went into the main room to discuss.

“So? I want an explanation.” Said Zell crossing his arms against his chest.

Nobody wanted to start talking. Seifer didn’t feel very well. He was sad to have hurt his lover and he avoided eye-contact with him, still ashamed. Squall decided to speak.

“About few months ago, we decided to try again some experiences with Seifer in Geyser’s laboratory…”

“WHAT?” blinked Zell.

“We didn’t want to tell you because we knew you would react badly…” justified Quistis.

“You had to tell me! What kind of experiences?”

“The same we did the first time before you ran away with Seifer and Lulu…Geyser told us that Seifer had to fight the sorceress from the inside, in his mind and he needed to remember his past to do that…”

Zell became angry. “You forced him to remember what that bitch did to him, knowing that it would hurt him emotionally?? How could you do that?”

“Zell, I know what you think about this but we thought we had to do it. Even Seifer agreed…he made progress and she didn’t speak to him since we started these experiences. We just had to avoid contact if we were junctionned because he reacted badly as you could see by yourself lately…that’s what we thought until…” said Quistis.

“Until what?”

“Until Geyser’s assistant discovered something about this fucking bastard!” said Laguna annoyed.

“ A secret project he started a long time ago…we came to Winhill to talk with Seifer about this.” Continued Squall.

“What project? What’s the problem with Seifer?” asked Zell.

“The project A…or the “project Almasy”, I suppose?” suggested Squall looking at Seifer.

The tall blond raised his head. “No…”Project Alchimy”. But it became the “Project Almasy” since I was the last guinea pig…”

Zell stood up and yelled furiously. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I can’t understand anything!!”

Seifer sighted. “I was talking with them about this when you came…” He fixed his lover with a sad look. “You should sit Zell…it’s a long story.”

 Zell nodded, still annoyed and returned to his chair.

“Don’t interrupt me because I have a lot of things to confess…” Seifer crossed his hands looking down.  “Like I told them before you arrived, I was already an orphan when I was three. I lived in the streets in Esthar. I don’t remember my parents and what happened to them…the couple you saw in my memories was my tutors…if I can call them like that…”

 Zell frowned and started to wonder why Seifer never told him this before, but he didn’t interrupt him. Seifer continued to speak.

“One day, soldiers came to pick all junkies and tramps they found in the streets. They told us they would give us food, and they would help us. They drove us in a big place with boxes…I didn’t know Tears’point at this time…After washing us and giving us clothes, they made a note with our own characteristics, and they gave us a number…I was the number 7.”

Seifer made a pause and tried to collect his memories. “The next day, we met Geyser. Scientists tied each of us on a table and they started to inject us several substance with syringes. Sometimes, they made surgery…I didn’t remember clearly.  I was with five persons in the same room…I remember after the first experience I felt sick. I puked and I was shaking…I saw the others were in the same state, even worse sometimes…I fainted the first day and when I woke, I was tied in my bed…I felt strange. I couldn’t walk or talk, but I was hungry and thirsty. I didn’t sleep all the night, because I had fever and I was scared…the next day, only four of us were present. One of us died in the night. He was an old man…they continued their experiences everyday…I felt sick a little more every time they gave me their drugs, or they operated on me…I didn’t know what was it, but if you read the document, you can understand it were monsters’ cells. They probably wanted to know if our DNA could be mixed with those of the monsters…”

“God…” whispered Zell in shock.

Seifer continued his story. “I don’t remember how many days or months I stayed there, but with the time, people started to die…they were exhausted and their body reacted violently with these injections and operations. I remember some of them lost their human form…one of the guinea pigs who were with me in the same room, was transformed in a wendigo. He began to destroy everything around him when soldiers shot him…I was so scared that I shouted until I broke my voice this day. They stopped the experience and let me in peace for the rest of the day to let me calm down…”

“Fucking bastard!” muttered Laguna.

“What happened next?” asked Quistis.

“After few days, they brought me in another room with a teenager. She was about eighteen, she was the number thirteen…they continued the experiences with us…I spent most of the time with her on the day and we slept in the same room during the night too. I didn’t know why I was with her and not with the others anymore until she told me that we were the last survivors…”

“This girl was Celes Lockart?” asked Laguna.

“Yes…she was kind and nice with me. When I felt bad in my sleep, she held me until I calmed down. Sometimes, she told me stories and sang lullabies…she was like a mother or a big sister for me…” said Seifer smiling sadly.

“How did she react to the experiences?” demanded Squall.

“It was harder for her than for me because she took drugs before Geyser captured her in the streets. She was already in bad condition, but she handled it. She fainted often during the day but she recovered, slower than me nevertheless…”

“But how could you react so well? I mean, you were just a child…” asked Squall.

“How could I know? I was just…different. I felt bad sometimes…I had fever or I was cold…I became thinner because I didn’t eat every day. Food disgusted me and I was exhausted so I slept a lot but…I never wondered why I was like this…” replied Seifer.

Zell was completely lost in his thoughts. He listened carefully Seifer’s story and it was so difficult for him to believe it…Seifer noticed his lover was concerned and depressed. He felt ashamed. He knew he should had told him, but he didn’t want to remember these painful memories…it was the past after all.

“What happened next? I read Celes escaped?” asked Laguna.

“Yes…in the morning, when a scientist came to bring us to the laboratory, Celes punched him in the face and grabbed my hand. We ran searching the exit but soldiers found us and raised their guns to stop us. I noticed there was an exit on my left. We stayed in the same place until soldiers came to us. They were just two. When they tried to tie our wrists, I bit one of them and I hit the other one between his legs; I told Celes to run. She didn’t want to leave me but when I saw other soldiers coming, I pushed her in the slope behind me. She was near of the exit…but she was looking for a way to help me. When she understood she couldn’t do anything, she ran and finally escaped…” said Seifer.

“So, you saved her?”demanded Quistis.

“Yes…but she came back two weeks later to seek me. She was with three friends. They were probably soldiers because they knew how to deactivate security system…” he added.

“Where did you go after?” asked Squall.

“We stayed in Esthar few days. We couldn’t leave the city together because we were wanted…but her friends suggested to her it would be better if she didn’t stay with me. I was sad to be separated from Celes…I think it was the same for her because there was a strong link between us, but we didn’t have the choice. It’s the last time I saw her…she left with one of her friends. I think he was her boyfriend…and I stayed with the two others. They were nice with me…and I felt safe with them. At this time, I considered them like my parents…they were young, maybe about twenty.” Explained Seifer with melancholy.

“Nice? They beat you!” protested Laguna.

“I know…but I ruined their life after they rescued me…” answered Seifer.

“What do you mean?” demanded Zell, who kept silent until now.

 Seifer fixed him and continued to explain: “We couldn’t leave the city since we were wanted and Geyser kept looking for me. We didn’t have enough money to leave anyway…it was hard for them to hide all the time with a child. They couldn’t have a stable life, always forced to move and to find jobs to survive…but they never complained about that…at this time, they said they would never let me and they would protect me…but I fucked up…”

“What did you do?” asked Quistis. “They seemed to hate you in your memories.”

“Yes. They did…few months later, I realized something strange in my body and I started to create fire and ice with my hands…I was so proud. I thought I was a magician or something like that and I wanted to show them, imagining as an idiot they would be proud of me…but I scared them. My mother was afraid that I became a monster and they began to beat me.”

“Why?” asked Zell.

“Dad thought that if they kept me under their control, I wouldn’t attack them. They were scared of my power and they started to hate me. They blamed me for their miserable life but they didn’t have the courage to kill a child and they couldn’t abandon me because if Geyser would find me, I could have denounced them…they were stuck with me, so I don’t blame them for that. I just couldn’t forgive my father for Hyperion…”

“Seifer…” whispered sadly Zell. He wanted to hold his lover in his arms to comfort him but he remembered what Squall said about touching him if they were junctionned. He restrained himself and stayed at his place.

“So, that’s why you can use magic without g-force? Because of Geyser’s experiences?” demanded Quistis.

“I suppose. I think I only kept magic characteristics from monsters’ cells…I don’t know how it’s possible but I never mutated…” answered Seifer.

“It explains a lot of things…” said Laguna.

Squall frowned, thinking suddenly about something. “Okay…that’s why you can use magic without being junctionned, but Lulu and you aren’t related by blood even if she is your daughter, so why she can do it too?”

Seifer fixed him. “She is…Celes’s daughter.”

“WHAT?” asked Laguna in shock.

“Yes…when I met her, her face was familiar for me. I understood who she was when her grandmother told me about her parents. Celes left Esthar with her boyfriend after they rescued me. He was Lulu’s father. His name was Wes Lain and he was a soldier in Galbadia Army. Celes married him and when she gave birth to Lulu, she didn’t survive. Wes died two years later during a mission…and when I heard their names, I understood. I realized how much Lulu looked like her mother physically and psychologically. She had the same kindness…” said Seifer smiling.

“That’s why you took care of her?” asked Zell.

“It wasn’t just for that reason. Yes, I would have taken care of her because Celes and Wes saved me and I owed them my freedom and probably my life…but I would have done this even if she would had not been their daughter…because I love her. You know this better than anybody, Zell…”

“Yes…does she know?”

“She can read my thoughts so I suppose she knows that I met her parents…but I never really talk with her about this. She was young when her father died and she didn’t know her mother so it would have been useless to tell her…plus she’s too young to understand now…i've showed her how to use magic when i met her...but i never explained to her why she could do it, why she was different...”

“I see…”

Everyone stayed quiet during a long time when Laguna asked: “Valentine told us he saw Geyser gave you other substances during the last experiences. What do you think it is?”

“I don’t know…”

Squall was fixing the tall blond. “Why did you hide it? You should have told us what Geyser did to you.”

Seifer smirked. “You never trusted me since you knew that Ultimecia talked to me. You figure I wanted you to know what kind of creature I was?” He looked down. “Everyone already thought I was a monster after the war…I didn’t need to say that I was like this, physically too…”

“You’re not a monster.” Replied Zell.

Quistis stood up and crossed her arms against her chest: “Zell’s right. Valentine will tell us what we can do. We need to rest now.”


	27. Time to accept

After the discussion, the group decided to take a break. They were still in the Ragnarok, it was long way to arrive at the Estharian coast. Seifer was exhausted. He went in the first room and lay down on the double bed, trying desperately to sleep a little bit. He closed the eyes but even if he was tired, he couldn’t relax…what would happen now? What Geyser did to him? Would he become dangerous for Zell and Lulu? It wasn’t impossible…if Squall, Laguna and Quistis hadn’t been there, he would have probably killed his lover. He felt so bad to have injured him. He remembered Zell’s look; he was completely scared, frozen…

 

_“I told you that you would hurt him…”_

Seifer shivered. He didn’t hear her voice since a long time.

“ _You thought I had disappeared, don’t you my Knight_?”

“Leave me alone.”

“ _You are a monster.”_

“No…I’m not.”

“ _Yes you are. You still have a human form, but that’s what you are inside. Even your soul is infected…you attacked your own lover…”_

“SHUT UP!”

 “ _Who will be the next one? Maybe the little girl…who knows?”_

“FUCK YOU STUPID BITCH!”

 

Seifer opened his eyes suddenly when he felt a gentle touch on his skin.

“Honey?” asked softly Zell.

“Zell?” He pushed him away when he realized it was him. “Don’t! I’m gonna hurt you again and…”

But the martial artist grabbed his arm and hugged his lover against him. “I gave Ifrit to Quistis. I’m not junctionned anymore, don’t worry.”

Seifer breathed a great sigh of relief. He felt good in his lover’s arms. “I’m sorry…”

“Stop it. You apologized enough for today!”

“I’m so sorry…” repeated again and again Seifer, pressing his head against Zell’s chest.

“Seif! Are you listening? I told you it’s okay. I know it wasn’t what you wanted!”

But the gunbladist didn’t reply. He couldn’t face him; he was too ashamed for this. Zell sighted. He knew Seifer felt guilty and he tried to comfort him.

“Seifer…I’m not mad at you because you hit me. I’m just sad you lied to me all this time…” said Zell.

The tall blond finally looked at him. “About Geyser’s experiences?”

“Yes. I mean, we’re supposed to not have secret for each other, but…every time I think I’m starting to know you better, I discover something new about you, about your past…I feel you don’t trust me…” confessed Zell.

Seifer put his hand on Zell’s cheeks. “It’s not what you think, Zell. I trust you…more than anybody, but I didn’t want to worry you. I wanted to be completely healed to tell you. I thought Geyser could help me this time.”

“I was supposed to be by your side during this. You should have told me.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I don’t want apologies Seifer. I’m not your friend, I’m your lover. I’m gonna be your husband soon. I wish I can support you in hard times… but you still act as if you were alone. I feel useless…”

“Zell, don’t think that, please.”

“How I’m supposed to feel different? You never tell me anything.”

“I’m sorry…it’s hard for me to share my problems with you. It’s not because I don’t trust you…I’m just scared to lose you.”

“Why? I told you I loved you. I won’t leave you.”

“I can’t control my body or my mind, Zell. What if I hit you again? I could have killed you…”

“Stop it…”

“I’m scared of myself. I never told you what Geyser made with me because I thought his experiences didn’t work on me…that I would never become a monster…but I’m starting to change now. What if I attack you or Lulu? What if…”

“I TOLD YOU TO STOP IT!” yelled Zell. Seifer fell silent. He looked down, avoiding eye-contact with his lover. “It won’t happen.” Added the tattooed man.

“Zell…”

“You’re not a monster and you won’t become it.” Zell kissed his forehead tenderly. “Your power is strange…and a bit scaring, it’s true, but I’m sure you will learn how to use it. I will help you.”

Seifer smiled sadly. He wanted to believe in his words so badly, but it wasn’t easy. Zell caressed his cheek to comfort him.

“I decided to quit.”

The tall blond blinked. “What?”

He put his head against his forehead. “Yes. I already gave my resignation to Cid. I have to stay for two months and I’ll be free.”

Seifer raised his face to fix him in the eyes. “Zell! Why? Why did you do that? You wanted to be a seed since you entered in the Garden…”

Zell touched his face with his soft hand. “Seifer…my life with you and Lulu is incompatible with my job. It’s harder every time I have to leave you to return at the Garden and I want to see Lulu grow up, I want to be by your side…my place is with my family.”

Seifer didn’t say a word, looking down. He couldn’t look at his lover. He finally asked with a low voice: “What should I do?”

Zell frowned.”Huh?”

“I feel guilty because I know you gave up your job for me but…on the same time, I’m so happy…I don’t know what to do.” He said sadly.

Zell smiled. “Then…just kiss me and tell me you love me.”

Seifer jumped in his arms, making him falling on his back, on the large bed. He kissed his lover passionately. “I love you.”

“I love you too Seifer.”

   

When they arrived in the Presidential Palace, it was already late in the night. Everyone went to their bedroom to sleep. They planned to make analyses tomorrow. Zell and Seifer entered in their room. It was a bit strange for the tall blond because he used to share this place with Lulu when he came here for Geyser’s experiences but he was happy with Zell’s presence. He went to the bed when he felt Zell’s arms around his waist.

“Zell?”

“I know you’re tired but…I want you.”

“But…”

“Touch me. I wanna feel you.”

Seifer took Zell’s hand and carried his body to the bed, pushing roughly his lover on his back. He jumped on the top of him and attacked his mouth and his neck with his tongue, biting and licking his delicious flesh. He stripped quickly before literally ripping Zell’s shirt, revealing his muscular torso and the hardness of his nipples. Seifer put his hand on his chest, massaging his hot skin, and let his tongue running along his abdomen until his belly button. He took off Zell’s pants and boxer and spread his legs. He couldn’t do anything that Zell grabbed his arms and forced him to lie down on his back. He sat on his stomach, putting two fingers in his mouth. Seifer looked at him with desire and lust but didn’t move. Zell introduced his own fingers in his entrance and started to push it deeper to prepare himself. He closed his eyes, moaning softly and stopped after few minutes. He positioned himself in front of Seifer’s hard cock. His lover grabbed his hips to help him and the martial artist impaled himself roughly on his organ. It hurt, yes…he didn’t prepare himself enough and he didn’t use any lube or saliva, but he didn’t care. He could endure the pain. At this time, he needed to do it. His breath was fast and heavy…he was too excited to talk. Seifer put one hand on his ass and another on his cock to rub it. He knew how to satisfy Zell when he was like that. They started to move, fixing each other in the eyes without saying a single word. Zell enveloped Seifer’s shoulders with his arms and moved his hips top-down faster. His lover kissed his neck, licking his ear and whispering his name softly.

“Zell…”

Each time the martial artist heard his name, he shivered. He could feel each vibration on Seifer’s voice resounding in his head. Zell tried to go slowly to make the pleasure last but he was too impatient for this. Seifer licked one of his nipples, still masturbating his lover. He pushed his cock deeper and went faster to give him more pleasure. Zell was stimulated in every part of his body; he was trembling with pleasure, pulling Seifer’s hair. He was about to come when he felt Seifer’s thumb on the top of his cock, blocking his semen. He looked at him.

“I know you wanna come but wait for me, please…” demanded Seifer, kissing him.

Zell nodded and tried to restrain himself. He suddenly felt a finger introduced in his ass even if Seifer was still penetrating him. He struggled.

“No…Seif! If you do this…I won’t be able to..contain myself..” said Zell, trying to calm down.

Seifer laughed, continuing to stimulate him. “I love to torture you…”

“Stop…please..” begged Zell when Seifer released his cock with his thumb, allowing to come. He put the two hands on Zell’s ass and fucked him roughly, harder and faster until he reached the orgasm.

“AAAHHHHH!!!!SEIF!!!” shouted Zell coming.

Seifer came inside of him and fell down on his back, still pressing Zell’s body against his. The two lovers took a break to recover their mind. It was intense as always.

“You’re…wonderful…”said Seifer softly, caressing Zell’s hair.

The martial artist kissed his chest and put his hand on Seifer’s heart. “You’re not bad at all…” He replied.

There was another long silence when Seifer broke it.

“Yours…” Seifer told him.

“Huh?” frowned Zell.

Seifer covered Zell’s hand with his. “My body…my heart…It belongs to you.”

Zell raised his head to look his lover in the eyes, his hand still on Seifer’s heart. He did the same with their other free hands but on his own heart. “Same for me. I belong to you.”

Seifer smiled and kissed him. “Mine…”

 

* * *

 

The next day, everyone got up early in the morning. Seifer went to Geyser’s laboratory and gave some samples of analysis of his DNA. He let Geyser’s assistant performing test and experiences. The young man didn’t have bad intentions and he was the one who told them what the professor did to Seifer, so they trusted him. Geyser was still in jail. He didn’t talk even if Kiros questioned him all the day.

Zell stayed by Seifer’s side until they finished the analysis. They waited for the test results. Seifer went to the cafeteria with Quistis and Laguna. He was a bit hungry. Zell was going to follow them when Squall asked him to stay.

“Zell? Can I have a word with you please?”

Zell stared at him surprised but he nodded. He gave a quick kiss to Seifer and let him go with Quistis and Laguna. He joined Squall on the balcony.

“What is it?” asked Zell.

Squall was a bit nervous. He didn’t know how he had to say it, and maybe it wasn’t the perfect timing.

“Squall? Tell me.” Asked again Zell.

Squall finally looked at him. “Cid…told me you gave him your resignation…”

“Oh…I see.”

They stayed quiet, embarrassed. Zell finally demanded:

“Are you mad?”

Squall sighted. “No…just disappointed.”

Zell blinked. “Disappointed?” he was annoyed by his words. “I’m so sorry Squall! Forgive me to think about my family first before my job!”

“It’s not what I said…”

“How am I supposed to think?”

 “Don’t make me a scene Zell! You know what I mean…you should have told me you wanted to quit!” replied angrily Squall.

Zell kept silent. He felt guilty to react like this. It was stupid.

“I don’t blame you, Zell…I know your place is with Lulu and Seifer…even if I’m still not used to see you two as a couple, but your happiness is all what I want.” He reassured his friend.

“ But…it’s hard to think that you will leave the Garden. It wasn’t easy when Quistis left, but…you’re my best friend and I realize now I never gave you enough attention. I’m sorry…” confessed Squall.

Zell blushed. “Thank you Squall. It means a lot for me to hear these words from you, but you don’t have to apologize. I know how you are, so I understand it’s hard for you to explain your emotions. I didn’t want to tell you because…I knew you would try to make me change my mind…it’s already hard for me, you know…but Seifer and Lulu need me and I want to be with them.”

“I know…I just hope that this is the only reason…” said Squall.

“What do you mean?”

Squall looked down. “I know…what happened in the cafeteria, when you came back at the Garden…”

Zell bit his lip. He forgot about this.” How…did you know?”

“Irvine told me. He was really worried about you with Selphie, so…I decided to give you more missions after that to never let you stay for too long at the Garden…but if it’s because of that you wanna leave…” But Zell didn’t let him finish.

“Squall, I’m okay! Thank you for your concern, guys, but I’m fine…to tell you the truth, it was hard at the beginning to hear people insulting Seifer and me like that, but I don’t give a shit now. My family and my friends are just what I need. I don’t quit because of them, I leave for Seifer and Lulu…but don’t believe that it doesn’t hurt me to let you…”

“Okay…that’s all what I wanted to know. I wish you the best.” Concluded Squall.

“Thanks.”

 

In the middle of the afternoon, Chad Valentine went to Laguna’s office. He finished his entire test and had the results. He knocked at the door and entered.

“So? What can you tell us?” asked Laguna.

Everyone looked at the young man. Seifer took Zell’s hand, nervous.

“Your DNA is complex…with the time, it mixed with DNA monsters, but it seems that all your human cells stayed intact, so I don’t think you would morph into a creature or something like that Mister Almasy…” started to explain Geyser’s assistant.

“it’s a good thing!” said Zell with joy.

Seifer didn’t react immediately, still on his guard. “But?”

“But…I noticed some recent cells, more…powerful, in your organism. I think this corresponds to what Geyser gave you during his experiences lately…the professor took you some blood samples and he seemed to have modified it with new cells before to reinject it in your body…I’m not enough qualified to give you more details about the way he did it. He didn’t write anything either about his last experiences…”

“What kind of cells is?” asked Squall.

Chad made a pause and finally answered: “G-force’s cells.”

“WHAT?” Blinked Zell.

“Yes…there’s no doubt about this…” confirmed Chad.

“What g-force?” asked Seifer calmly.

“Geyser used four g-force’s cells: Ifrit, Shiva, Bahamut and Diablo…you reacted with the first two, that’s why you were hot or cold, but you seemed to not respond with the others…”

“I felt a different sensation during the last time with Seifer. He was surrounding with a strange aura…a malefic one. Do you think it was related to Diablo?” asked Quistis.

“Maybe, I can’t tell you…”

“Okay, okay…Seifer has g-force’s cells but what does it mean? What would happen now? Could he use their power?” Asked Zell.

“I’m not sure about this. I think Mister Almasy’s powers would grow up, especially magic, but as I told you, all his human cells didn’t change at all…for the G-force, it seems to be sleeping cells in his body. We just can control sometimes if it doesn’t modify…it’s not like we could do anything anyway.” Explained Chad.

“I see…”said Squall.

Seifer crossed his arms against his chest, still thinking. “So…my reactions weren’t related to Ultimecia…he never cured my mind…” said sadly Seifer. He felt Zell’s hand on his shoulder.

“No Mister Almasy…I wish I could tell you different but…I’m sorry.” Added Chad.

Seifer sighted, depressed.

“Do you still hear her voice?” asked the young man.

The tall blond didn’t reply immediately. He was afraid about Squall’s reaction, but he felt better to have Zell with him. He knew his lover would never give up on him.

“She didn’t talk to me for a long time…but she did lately.” Answered Seifer.

“When? What did she say?” asked Squall.

“Yesterday. She told me I was a monster after I’ve attacked Zell…she told me I would do it again…” he said with tears in his voice.

 “Seifer! Don’t listen to her. It wasn’t your fault, I was junctionned…” Zell tried to comfort his lover but he felt too guilty to hear what Zell said.

“You attacked Mister Dincht?” asked Chad.

“Yes…I nearly killed him yesterday.”

“Stop it!” said Zell irritated.

“So…that’s why you responded like that when somebody junctionned touched you. It was because of g-force’s cells in your organism. What g-force did you have Mister Dincht?”

“Ifrit.”

“I see…Shiva’s cells in your body reacted to Ifrit when you touched Mister Dincht.” Explained Chad.

“So, I didn’t fight against Ultimecia when I had these reactions? Geyser lied to us…this shit was useless since the beginning!” Seifer became furious and got up, turning his back to look through the window.

“Seifer…” whispered Zell worried.

“I’m sorry Mister Almasy…”

“Can you do something about the sorceress?” asked Squall.

Chad looked down. “No Mister Leonhart…and to tell you the truth, I don’t think that anybody could. The brain is the most fragile part of the body, we would hurt Mister Almasy…plus, it’s not like we could destroy or erase memories or thoughts in his brain…” said Chad.

Squall fixed Seifer. He didn’t know how to do. Zell would live with him.

“What can we do?” asked Quistis.

Chad smiled. “I think Mister Almasy is the one who can defeat her from the inside, and he has the best weapons for this.” He said looking at Zell.

“Huh? What do you mean?” demanded Zell, blushing.

“You, Mister Dincht. You and your daughter seemed to heal Mister Almasy. Your presence helped him a lot since he didn’t hear her voice when you were with him. You’ll keep her away as long as you will stay by his side…” he explained, still smiling.

Seifer looked at his lover tenderly. “I think you’re right…I’m not strong enough emotionally…she always used my weaknesses to corrupt me, but I don’t listen to her when Zell and Lulu are with me, I can’t hear her when I’m fine…because I keep my attention on them.”

“So, we’re gonna do nothing about this?” asked Squall.

“I told you…it’s not like we could do anything…” justified Chad.

Seifer felt anxious. He knew what Squall thought and he was scared.

“Okay, sorry to kill the mood but…you realize that we’re gonna let her free?” said Squall annoyed.

“Squall, don’t start with this, please…” Laguna told him.

“Are you kidding me? Zell’s gonna leave the Garden. He will live with him soon…how could you think I would let my best friend live with this danger?” asked Squall angry.

“Squall!” Zell looked at him with a mad look when he felt Seifer’s hand on his shoulder.

“Do you figure I’m not afraid about this too, Leonhart?” asked Seifer furious. “Do you really think that I’m not more concerned about him than you? He’s your best friend, yes, but he’s MY LOVER!” yelled Seifer.

“Seifer, calm down, please…” said Quistis.

The tall blond approached Squall, still facing him. “I won’t let you take me away from him and from Lulu this time. You would give her more power doing this.”

“You told yourself earlier…you’re weak emotionally. She would use you again.” Replied Squall.

“I’ll become stronger. I can do it, but not alone. I need Zell.” Added Seifer. “I won’t give up on him this time, Squall.”

Zell approached and smiled at his friend. “Don’t worry, Squall. I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

Squall looked at him with worried eyes. Laguna and Quistis crossed their arms and fixed him intensely forcing him to accept. Squall rolled his eyes and finally agreed.

“I suppose I’ve no choice?” Demanded Squall looking at the martial artist.

“You suppose correctly.” Replied Zell.   

Squall sighted, defeated. “Fine…”


	28. Time to worry

One month later.

Zell returned at the Garden. He was relieved and happy that he was finally about to quit this place to live with Seifer and Lulu. Yes, he would miss Balamb and Garden, but he had to leave. He had no regret to have chosen his family. His friends and his Ma understood him, it was the most important thing.

They left Esthar the next day after they discovered what Geyser did to Seifer. Ultimecia was still in his mind, and he would probably develop his new powers in the future. Zell was a bit worried about this, but he was glad when Seifer said he needed him. He could help him…he would help him, and in the same time he could stay by his side, with Lulu.

Seifer came to Balamb looking for Lulu in Zell’s home. They stayed there for the night and left the next day. Zell came back to the garden, Lulu and Seifer to Winhill with the train.

Squall and Cid called him in the Headmaster’s office. He knocked at the door and entered.

“Zell! Come in.” said Cid.

“Sir! Squall!” saluted Zell.

“Take a seat.” Proposed Squall.

Everyone sat. The meeting started. Zell knew that they planned to send him on mission, but he didn’t have any details. He looked at his friend who was reading some documents. Squall gave papers to Zell and began to speak:

“Trabia Garden contacted us. They prepare Seed exams and their specialist of martial arts has been injured during a mission, so they need an instructor.” Said Squall.

“You’re the best element for this mission.” Confirmed Cid.

“Thank you Sir!”replied Zell blushing.

Squall smiled seeing his friend a little embarrassed by Cid’s compliment. He thought about how things would change when Zell would leave and it made him sad. But he couldn’t ask him to stay. It was selfish, and Seifer needed him more than him.

It was strange but Squall didn’t feel anger or contempt about Seifer, but compassion. He suffered for so long but he never complained. For the first time in his life, the tall bond had learned to be humble and responsible. Zell and Lulu were the only thing he asked…he couldn’t refuse him, even if Squall was still scared about Ultimecia.

“Squall?” asked Cid.

Squall blinked, interrupted in his thoughts. “Yes Sir?”

“You look thoughtful. Something’s wrong?” demanded the headmaster.

“No, Sir.”

“Fine. Can you give the orders mission to Zell please?”

“Yes.” Squall gave a page to his friend. “I think you’ll stay in Trabia for two weeks, maybe a month, I don’t know yet. You’re expected for tomorrow morning at 8:00. We’ll leave you with the Bgu in Trabian coast and you’ll drive into the Garden with a car.”

“Great! I won’t wast time on the road.” said Zell with relief.

“You can see Xu for the car. I already talked with her about this.” Said Cid.

“Thank you.”

                                                   

 

Seifer was in his workshop with Lulu and Chickie. He was trying to repair a bicycle for their neighbor.  He felt good even if he knew Ultimecia never left his mind. She didn’t talk to him lately. Lulu was on vacation. They planned to visit Zell’s Ma, in one week.

“Vivi?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think Zelly would come back soon?” The little girl caressed her bird in her lap.

“I don’t know Lu. He told me yesterday Squall decided to send him on mission but he didn’t know where and how long he would stay.”

“Oh…I hope it won’t be long.”

Seifer smiled. “I miss him too, but it’s his last mission. He won’t leave after that.”

“Yeah, I’m so happy.”

“You really love him, do you?”

Lulu approached and sat on Seifer’s desk. “Yes. Zelly is kind, and…he makes you happy…very very happy…” she said smirking.

Seifer blushed. “Hum…what do you mean?”

“I see it in your eyes. You’re smiling every time you think about him.”

“Yes…”

Lulu watched him, with a concerned look. She noticed something in Seifer’s expression.

“Vivi? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” Seifer tried to concentrate on his work but Lulu asked him again.

“Tell me…”

Seifer stopped what he was doing and sat on his chair, fixing the ground sadly.

“I’m…scared.” He sighted. “I know what you’re gonna say but I’m afraid to lose you and Zell…I caused so many troubles to people I loved that I’m scared to do it again.”

She jumped from the desk and took his hand with hers. “It’s not your fault. I know you never wanted to hurt people…”

“It doesn’t change anything. We only remember acts not intentions…”

“Not me. Not Zelly…”

“My Lulu…”

The little girl became angry and put her hands on Seifer’s face. “Stop thinking stupid things! I told you Vivi is good!” When she realized the gunbladist looked at her surprised, she calmed down and spoke softly with her usual kindness. “You’re good, believe me…we won’t let you. Zelly and I will love you forever, don’t be scared.”

Seifer felt sad. “Lu…I…”

The girl hugged him and didn’t let him finish what he was saying.” Don’t be scared…”

                                             

The Bgu arrived in Trabian Coast and let Zell in the middle of the land. He borrowed a car and looked the Garden leaving, on the sea. He began to drive slowly. The land was covered by snow and he tried to avoid forests. Monsters in this area weren’t very strong but there were a lot of them.

It was his last mission as a seed, and even if he loved his job, it was the time to turn the page. He would marry Seifer soon and he had another responsibility with his daughter’s education since he adopted Lulu. He had no regret and he knew he made the good choice. Seifer needed him. Thinking about his lover made him sad because he remembered his past, and the war…life never had been nice with the gunbladist. He blamed himself for everything what happened, even if he never did anything wrong at the beginning.

“ _It’s so unfair…you never deserved it Seifer…_ ” thought Zell.

It was true: living in the streets on his own since he was three, Geyser’s experiences, ill-treatment and hatred from his adoptive parents, death of his loved ones, lowliness, the war, the pain, abuses and rapes, contempt, abandoning, manhunt…and Geyser’s new experiences…it was hard to believe he was still alive after all what he endured alone, all this time. In fact, he never complained. He thought he deserved it because he was bad deep in his heart…and it was that Zell couldn’t support to hear. He wanted to give him some happiness and helped him to forget everything. Lulu was already there for him and Zell was relieved to know that. It was the time to be happy, to live his life enjoying each minute, time to travel, time to love…time to never be alone again anymore for Seifer…and this time would come soon.

Zell arrived near of Trabia Garden when he saw a group of men waiting, just in front of the entrance. They wore uniforms, so the martial artist guessed they were students. One of them made signs to him, to stop the car.

“Hi Mister Dincht! We were waiting for you.” Said the young man.

“Hello. Huh…why did you wait here? I should announce myself to your headmaster first.” Replied Zell frowning. He went outside the car and held his hand to the man.

The other students approached and welcomed him.

“Hi Sir!”

“Hello.” Replied Zell, shaking hands one after another.

“We were so excited to meet you that we came to welcome you in person. You’re a hero and plus, you’re Selphie’s friend!” explained the young man. The others nodded smiling.

Zell blushed and scratched his head with embarrassment. “I’m honored! Thank you, guys!”

“Thanks to you, Sir.” Said another student. “it’s just too bad you decided to turn on us, treating with the enemy…”

Zell noticed the sudden change of his expression. He didn’t see that three men were behind him.

“What do you mean?” Asked Zell.

He felt nervous when he received a violent blow on the back of the head. He fell heavily in the ground, not completely unconscious. The three men hit him again on the head and on the stomach with their weapons. The first man who talked with the martial artist raised his hand above Zell’s body.

“ _Sleep!_ ” The magic spell did effect immediately and Zell fell asleep.

“He’s probably junctionned. Take all of his g-forces and magic spells.” Said the leader. “Grab him and throw him in the trunk of the car.”

“Do we need to tie him?” asked another man.

“Yes. Use the chains.” Replied the leader. “Five men in his car, the others on the quad. Don’t waste any time, hurry!”

After few minutes, the group disappeared in the land, with Zell’s unconscious body.

                                                 

Seifer and Lulu were still in the workshop. It was already late in the afternoon. Lulu was playing with her bird. The tall blond was reading a magazine.

“What do you think we should offer to Zell for his birthday?” asked Seifer to Lulu.

“Hum…maybe news gloves?” she proposed.

“I thought about it, but I remember he likes T-board.”

“Yes…but Ma told me he has a huge collection.”

“All confiscated by the Disciplinary committee…and he broke the last one.”

“Oh…in this case, it could be a good gift.”

 “Yes. But we can buy him another pair of gloves too. I saw a good one in this magazine. Wanna take a look?”

“Sure!”

The little girl approached and sat on Seifer’s lap, looking at the magazine. They were disturbed by someone who entered.

“Hi Guys!”

“Selphy!” said with joy Lulu. She ran toward her and jumped in her arms.

“Hey Lu! You grew up!” she said. “Hi Seif!”

“Nice to see you Selphie. How are you?” asked Seifer.

“Good. I didn’t come alone…”

Quistis, Linoa and Raijin entered. “Hello!”

“Hi everyone!” said Seifer smiling.

The group went inside. Quistis caressed Lulu’s hair and approached to hug Seifer in her arms. “It’s good to see you Seifer.”

“Same for me. How are you?”

“Fine, thank you.”

Linoa joined them. “Quistis and Raijin were in Timber. We met fortunately so we decided to visit you. Long time no see.”

“Yes. How is Zack?”

“Good. He’s with Squall in the Garden.”

“Hey Girls! Let me see my friend, ya know?” said Raijin. He grabbed Seifer by the waist and hugged him tightly. “Seif! How are you?”

“Go..od…but could you…release me please? I can’t…breathe!” replied Seifer with difficulties.

“Oh! Sorry man!”

Seifer shook his head and found his breath again. “Happy to see you again too Raijin! How are Fujin and Seifer?”

“Ah…Fujin is exhausted. Seifer never stop moving or running everywhere! He’s a very alive kid, ya know?” he explained.

“As the other one here!” laughed Linoa.

Seifer rolled his eyes annoyed and everyone laughed, even Lulu who was still in Selphie’s arms.

“Why don’t we go at home? I’m gonna close the workshop.” Proposed Seifer.

“Good! Let’s go!” replied Selphie.

The group walked in the streets, talking and laughing. When they arrived, they entered in the small house and sat on the sofa. Seifer took glasses and cold drinks for everyone. They were talking about their children and the last events on Timber and Esthar. Lulu was on Raijin’s lap.

“I heard about Timber new status. It’s thanks to you Lin. I suppose you’re happy?” demanded Seifer.

She sighted. “Thank you…but I had preferred the independence…”

“I know, but it’s a good start.”

“You’re right…anyway. What about you? Did you choose a date for the wedding?” she asked.

Seifer blushed. “Not yet…I’m waiting for Zell’s return to discuss with him about this.”

“I’ll help you to organize a wonderful and giant party!!” exclaimed Selphie.

“Yes! Selphy is the best for party!!!” agreed Lulu.

“Finally, someone who admits my talent! Thank you Lulu! My partner in crimes!”

Everyone smiled at the two girls.

“You know, Zell became more mature since you are a couple. It’s a good thing. “ said Quistis. “And…you changed a lot too.”

“I suppose. We wasted so many years to argue…it’s crazy to think about how things changed so fast…”

Everyone looked the tall blond with kindness. Seifer felt happy and loved. He was touched by his friends’ concern and he enjoyed their presence. Lulu was smiling when she suddenly changed her expression and jumped from Raijin’s lap. She put her hands on her face and shook her head. Seifer got up and approached, worried.

“Lulu? What’s wrong honey?”

The little girl closed her eyes and sat on the ground, still shaking her head. Raijin put his hand on her hair.

“Do you feel bad Lu?” he asked.

“Zelly…” she whispered.

“What? What is it?” asked Seifer on his knees fixing the little girl.

“Vivi…Zelly is in danger. I feel it…” she said with tears on her eyes.

Seifer blinked. Quistis stood up and approached. “What do you feel Lulu?”

“I don’t’ know Quisty…but Zelly is in pain. I feel his fear…he’s scared!” she replied crying against Seifer’s chest. “Vivi! Do something!”

“Zell…” Seifer was breathing heavily. He started to panic. Lulu was never wrong. He turned his back to fix Selphie and Linoa. “Where he has been sent?”

“Trabia Garden…but he was just supposed to replace a teacher and assist cadets for seed exams…are you sure Lulu?” asked Selphie.

The little girl nodded keeping silent.

“She’s never wrong Selphie.” Replied Seifer. “I need to go. How did you come here?”

“With the Ragnarok.” Answered Quistis.

“Bring me to Trabia. We need to find Zell.”


	29. When the nightmare becomes true

“Wake up fucking faggot!”

“Aargghh!!”

Zell received a violent blow in his stomach. He gasped and opened his eyes, surprised by the pain. After few seconds, he recovered his mind and looked around him. Five men fixed him, three on the front and two behind him. The martial artist was tied with chains, lying on the ground. One of the men approached and put one knee near of his head.

“So? How are you Mister Dincht…or should I call you Mister Almasy?” he said smirking.

Zell glared at him with an angry look. “Sons of bitch! What do you want from me?” asked the tattooed man. He understood quickly what happened to him.

The man grabbed his hair and crashed his head against the ground brutally. “Watch your mouth bitch!”

Zell’s face was still on the ground. He was bleeding from the nose and the mouth. He whimpered in pain softly. He endured worse…The man released his hair and sat on a chair, just in front of him. He made a sign to the others and two men grabbed Zell by his arms, forcing him to sit.

“What happened to you?” asked the leader to Zell. “You were a hero. You had all what you wanted: fame, respect, friends…but you ruined everything.”

Zell closed his eyes, trying to ignore what he was saying. He already heard that in Balamb Garden. He was tired to justify, but this time was worse. He was in their hands. He couldn’t defend himself since he was tied. He felt he was disjunctionned with Ifrit and Ondine. He had no magic spells anymore, they probably stole him everything. He thought he shouldn’t argue with them; he had to try to convince them.

“Trabia authorities…dropped charges…against Seifer…” he began to say, but a man slapped his face aggressively.

“SHUT UP!”

Zell fell on the ground again with the violence of the blow. The leader raised his arm to calm his friend.

“Let him explain, Jun.” He crossed his legs and fixed Zell. “Go on. I’m listening.”

Zell’s aggressor grabbed his hair, forcing him to raise his head. The martial artist struggled but couldn’t free himself.

“Speak.” Ordered the leader again.

“You…you won’t…understand…” replied Zell exhausted.

The man who was pulling his hair put a knife on Zell’s throat. “Didn’t you hear what he asked to you, bitch?”

Zell stayed cool even if he was scared. He didn’t reply immediately, thinking what he had to say to calm them. It was hard for him because he was impulsive and he couldn’t support hearing people insulting Seifer. He swallowed hard and spoke again.

“Edea…She was…controlled by…Ultimecia…but you forgave…her…”

The chief laughed. Zell continued to explain. “Seifer…was controlled…too…He never wanted…to destroy…Trabia. Believe me…I tell you the truth…”

The man got up and approached. “Who told you we forgave Kramer?”

Zell stayed quiet and felt suddenly anxious. If he couldn’t convince them with this argument, it would be hard to explain. The leader went to him, fixing the martial artist with contempt.

“Do you really think we would forget what happened?” He laughed sarcastically. “I’m fed up to hear this again and again…Edea and her knight were controlled…what a good excuse! WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?” he yelled furious.

Zell raised his body and stayed on his knees to fix the leader. “But..it’s…the truth…it could have been you in Seifer’s place…”

The man glared at the martial artist with hatred. “Do you remember me?” he asked suddenly.

Zell frowned. He didn’t know how to answer. He had no memory about this man…he thought it was the first time he saw him but he understood when he asked him that it wasn’t the case. He stayed silent. The man approached and looked him straight in the eyes.

“You came in Trabia Garden with Selphie and all of your friends when everything was destroyed…you even came to talk to me…do you remember?” The man noticed Zell was trying to recall. He finally explained since the martial artist seemed to not remind.

“I was in front of my girlfriend’s grave in the temporary cemetery we laid out for our dead…you came to comfort me with Selphie and Squall. You promised me with your friends you would avenge us.” He said.

Zell looked down. “ _I remember now…_ ” he said to himself.

“I believed in you…and you betrayed us!!” shouted the man.

“No! We did it! We killed Ultimecia…”

“WHAT ABOUT THE BITCH KRAMER? WHAT ABOUT HER KNIGHT?” he roared at Zell’s face.

“But…”

“PLUS, YOU FUCK WITH THIS BASTARD!! YOU SAVED HIM!!” He slammed Zell’s face violently and kicked his stomach with his foot.

The martial artist tried to curl in a ball protecting himself the best he could. “ _He won’t listening…it’s useless…_ ” though Zell.

The man stopped to hit him. “Each of us here lost someone…a sister, a brother, a friend, a lover…and the man who is responsible of this is still alive, and he’s happy now! WITH YOU! Do you think it is fair?”

“Please…” begged Zell.

“He doesn’t deserve it…you neither.” He went away, making a sign to the others. “You've chosen your side. You’re gonna pay for this…”

Two men grabbed Zell by the hair and his arms, forcing him to stay on his feet. “What…are you gonna do to me?” asked the martial artist afraid.

The leader smirked. “You are the knight’s lover…I’ll show him how it hurts to lose the one he loves.” He approached with a frightening look. “I’m gonna make you suffer, and when I get through with you, I’ll bring him your head…”

Zell shivered. The man laughed at him. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him and your precious daughter after that. In this way, they’ll join you quickly!”

The martial artist tried to struggle. “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM!!!!”

But he didn’t have the time to insult them more that he was punched and hit by the five men on the stomach and on the face. Zell couldn’t stand and fell on the ground. They didn’t stop beating him even if he was defenseless and already severely injured. Bruises started to appear on his face. He was coughing up blood because of the blows he received on his stomach and on his mouth.

“St..op…pl..e..a..se” begged Zell between groans of pain.

That was useless…they didn’t listen to him. They were enraged and Zell could feel their blows became more aggressive and painful…

“Se..i..fer…” whispered Zell, crying.

They stopped and laughed at him. “You already call your “precious” slut?”

The leader pulled his hair, forcing him to face him. “Okay, man…maybe we could let you if you tell us what we want to hear…” he expressed amusement. “Say you hate him. Say he’s a traitor…say he’s a bastard…”

Zell could hear their sadistic laugh. The leader talked to him again. “Say it.”

But the martial artist shook his head. “Fu…ck y..ou…” he murmured. As if he would say that! He knew he was gonna die soon, why he had to do what they wanted?

“Such a faithful lover you are! Too bad for you…then enjoy your pain, Bitch!” he smirked releasing his hair and hitting his head violently with his foot.

 

* * *

 

Seifer, Lulu, Raijin, Selphie, Quistis and Linoa were in the air with the Ragnarok. They arrived after few hours in Trabia. Usually, the route was a bit longer. Trabian coast was particularly far away from Galbadia, but Selphie pushed the speed to the full. The tension was palpable. Seifer couldn’t hide his anxiety. He trusted Lulu’s word. She couldn’t lie or be wrong. What if something happened to Zell? What if he had been injured…or killed? Seifer couldn’t support to think about this eventuality. He had to…but he just couldn’t. How could he live without Zell? No…it wouldn’t happen…it couldn’t be possible. He tried so hard to convince himself something so terrible definitely would not happen that he didn’t notice they arrived in Trabia. Quistis and Raijin called him.

“Seifer?”

“Seifer? Are you there?”

The tall man who was looking through the window with dead eyes blinked when he realized someone called his name. He turned his head and got up.

“Yes?”

“We’re there, ya know?”

“Ah…let’s go.”

Everyone left quickly the Ragnarok and walked to the Garden. When they reached the entrance, Selphie blocked the road, embarrassed.

“What is it?” asked Seifer.

“Hum…don’t be mad Seif, but I think you should stay outside…” she said. She seemed to be very uncomfortable.

“Selphie, I need to see if Zell is okay. I won’t do anything…” tried to justify the tall blond.

“I know but…people are still shocked about what happened during the war...even if the Garden has been rebuilt and your name has been cleared, it wouldn’t be easy for some of them to see you here…” she explained. She smiled and grabbed Linoa’s arm. “Let me do it and wait outside, okay?”

Seifer wanted to protest but he knew she was right. At this time, Zell was just his priority, he didn’t care about anything else…but people would refuse to help him if they saw him, so he nodded reluctantly.

“Fine…but don’t waste time. Hurry!”

“Sure! Let’s go Lin!”

The two girls left them, running into the entrance of the Garden. Seifer walked away and fixed the horizon, worried. Lulu grabbed his hand and looked at him sadly.

“Do you still feel something Lulu?” asked the gunbladist.

She nodded. “Zelly is in pain, now…I’m scared Vivi! I don’t wanna lose him…”

Seifer put his hands on her shoulders and faced her intensely. “It won’t happen!”

“Vivi…”

“Lulu, trust me! I won’t let him die! I promise he will come back!” he insisted.

She began to cry. Quistis and Raijin approached.

“Lulu…please.  I know I made promises in the past that I couldn’t handle…but I swear I will handle this one! Zell won’t die…trust me.” Repeated Seifer.

The little girl hugged him tightly and whispered against his chest. “I believe in you. Vivi always kept his promises…you never lied to me…so if you tell me, I trust you…it’s just…”

“What?” demanded Seifer.

“I don’t know…I’ve a strange feeling about you…something is changing in you…”

Seifer sighted and kissed her forehead. “I’m worried Lulu…the same way you are…”

 

Selphie and Linoa arrived in the main hall. A familiar voice yelled in joy when she noticed them.

“SELPHIE!”

The little brunette looked in her direction. “Vera! Long time no see!” she was Selphie’s friend.

“Yeah! How are you?”

“Fine…thank you, but I’ve something important to do right now. I’ll talk with you later!”

“Okay…see you!”

The two girls went to the secretariat. A young and good looking man was sitting behind his desk.

“Oh Selphie! How are you?” he asked.

“Hi Col! Listen…I’m in a hurry now, so could you give some information please?” asked the little brunette.

“Sure. What do you wanna know?”

“It’s about the seed from Balamb Garden that we sent you today. He was supposed to replace the martial arts’ teacher for seed exam. Zell Dincht. Did he already arrive here?”

The young man frowned. “What are you talking about? Our martial arts’ teacher doesn’t need to be replaced…”

“You can’t be serious! We received a request from your garden.” Replied Linoa.

“Let me take a look but I don’t remember we asked Balamb Garden to send us someone…” He leafed through his register attentively. “What name did you tell me?”

“Zell Dincht. I saw his mission order with Trabia seal...”

After few seconds, the young man shook his head. “Sorry Selphie, but you should be wrong. We never made this request to your Garden. Plus, this name doesn’t’ figure on my register…”

“But…it’s impossible. We left Zell this morning on Trabian Coast with the Bgu. He took a car. He should have at least come here…” retorted Linoa.

“All the visitors have to announce themselves here. I note their name. See by yourself…there’s no “Zell Dincht”.”

 Linoa grabbed the register and read quickly the list. The man said the truth.

“So…you didn’t see a blond man with a crest and a tattoo on his face here?” asked again Selphie.

“Hum…no. I would remember him. There was just a visitor today and it was a woman. It’s probably a mistake…” replied the man.

Selphie and Linoa looked each other worried.

“We need to call Squall and Cid right now! Something happened to Zell, Lulu was right!” said linoa.

“Do it. I’m gonna join the others outside.” Added Selphie.

“I’m coming with you. I’m gonna call Squall walking.”

“Okay. Thanks Col!”

“You’re welcome…if I can help you, don’t hesitate to come back.”

“Sure! Let’s go Lin!”

 

* * *

 

Squall was in the Bgu, talking with Cid, Laguna, Edea, Fujin and Irvine in the headmaster’s office. The Garden was on Estharian land. Squall and Laguna had informed them what happened with Seifer and Geyser in the past. It was a shock for them.

“The bastard!!” muttered Fujin, furious.

Irvine crossed his arms, leaning his back against the wall. “Did Geyser say anything during his questioning?”

Laguna shook his head. “No…this fucking coward stayed quiet. I knew we shouldn’t have trusted him.”

Edea sighted sadly. “Poor Seifer. Life was already so rude with him since the beginning…”

“We can’t go back in the past, now…it’s useless. The most important thing is that Seifer is safe.” Exclaimed Cid.

“But how much longer?” suggested Squall.

“EXPLAIN!” said Fujin.

Squall sighted and got up from his chair. “We don’t know what effects the last experiences had on Seifer’s body…he didn’t react yet, but it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t mutate…”

“Doctor Valentine said he would keep an eye on his evolution, and he noticed all his human’s cells were still intact…” explained Laguna.

“He said he had sleeping g-forces’ cells…but it doesn’t change the fact that Seifer could become dangerous, especially with Ultimecia in his head…” added Squall.

“Squall! That’s enough!” replied angrily Laguna. “We already talked about this!”

“Sorry but I’m worried for Zell! He’s gonna live with him and even if I agreed to let Seifer free, I’m still concerned about my best friend’s life!” shouted Squall annoyed.

“Okay gentlemen…calm down, please!” demanded Irvine, trying to lighten the mood.

Squall’s cell phone rang. “Sorry, it’s Linoa.” He picked up his phone. “Hello?” He was gonna get out when he stopped just in front of the door. “WHAT?” he asked.

Everyone looked at him surprised.

“Wait a minute, I put you on speakerphone!” Squall turned his back to fix the others, still holding his phone. “You can talk.”

_“When we came to see Seifer and Lulu in Winhill, Lulu felt something was wrong with Zell so we took the Ragnarok to go to Trabia Garden…”_

“Who is with you?” asked Squall worried.

 _“Selphie, Raijin, Quistis, Seifer and Lulu._ _We’re in Trabia Garden… »_

“ So, what happened with Zell? “

_“We don’t know. We asked if he arrived in the Garden but they said they never made a request for Zell’s presence and he didn’t come there…”_

“But we left him near of the Garden this morning…and I have an order mission from Trabia…”justified Squall but he was cut by Linoa.

_“It was probably a false one. Zell never arrived at the Garden! Nobody saw him. You must come here!”_

“Yes. I’m gonna tell Nida right now! Don’t try anything until we arrive.”

_“No…we have to find him. Lulu felt Zell is in danger. We’re gonna look for him in the continent with the ship.”_

“Lin! Don’t…”

_“You can locate us with my cell phone’s signal. Join us at our position when you’ll arrive! I have to go now!”_

“Lin!”

_“Squall! We don’t have the time to argue! I know you’re worried about Seifer’s power but I’m not alone. Plus, we have to find Zell quickly!”_

Squall made a pause and finally nodded. “Alright…be careful.”

_“Sure. Call me when you’ll arrive.”_

Everyone stayed in shock.

“It can’t be true…” whispered Cid.

“I’m gonna join Nida. Irvine! Fujin! Come with me!” ordered Squall.

“YES!”

“Let’s go.”

Laguna, Cid and Edea nodded and stayed in the office.

“I’ll call Trabia’s headmaster.” Said Cid.

“Zell had been kidnapped. It’s definitely someone from Trabia Garden…” suggested Laguna.

“Yes. I hope they could help us on our researches.” Agreed Cid, taking his phone.

Edea sat heavily on her chair. “Zell…I hope you’re okay…”


	30. Release the beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everybody!  
> i posted a chapter before the end of the year.  
> Warning: this chapter contains violence...  
> I wish you the best for the next year everyone and see you soon!  
> Happy new year in advance, guys!

“So? What should we do now?” asked Quistis.

“The Bgu was in Esthar when I called Squall. They should arrive in few hours…” said Linoa.

“We can’t wait for them!” shouted Seifer annoyed. He was particularly nervous and worried. Zell was in danger. He couldn’t stay here any longer, he had to find him. “Selphie! You know Trabia. Where should we look for?”

The brunette was thinking. “Hem…let me see…” she fixed the horizon. “Okay…There’re few places we can check: Trabia canyon on the south, Chocobo’s forests : one near of the Garden and two on the north; Shumi village in the other island on the north too…” She made a pause and spoke again. “Oh…and there’s the Crater on the south…there’re a lot of earth cracks there. Maybe Zell had an accident in this zone?” suggested Selphie.

“Yeah…but maybe he already left Trabia, ya know? I mean…If someone kidnapped him…” said Raijin

“No…Zelly is here…he’s not far away…” replied Lulu.

Linoa caressed her hair. “What do you feel Lulu?”

“I…don’t know Liny…I don’t know where he is, but I feel his presence…he’s still alive, but…” the little girl started to cry.

“What Lulu?” asked Quistis.

“He’s…suffering…I wanna Zelly come back…” she hid her face in Seifer’s leg. The tall blond tried to comfort her the best way he could but he was so worried that he couldn’t even convince himself.

“We need to find him. If the Bgu received a false order mission, it means that they targeted Zell…I can’t believe he had an accident.” Exclaimed Seifer.

“But why Zell? He never had enemies…” replied Quistis.

Seifer looked down.

 

“ _But YOU have…”_ The bitch talked to him again.

“No…it can’t be…”

_“Come on my Knight! How could you think different? Maybe you just deny the truth…”_

“FUCK OFF BITCH! Why should I listen to you?”

_“Because you know I tell you the truth. Why do you think your precious lover disappeared? It’s not a coincidence…not at all…”_

“It’s…my fault?”

 

Raijin put his hand on Seifer’s shoulder. “Hey! Man!”

The tall blond blinked. “What?”

“You…were in another world, ya know? We talked to you but you didn’t answer…”

 Quistis fixed him worried. “ _Hyne…she’s talking to him again…”_ she thought.

“Sorry…I was lost in my own thoughts.” Apologized the gunbladist.

“So, if Lulu feels Zell is still here, we should start our researches…” proposed Linoa.

 “Alright, let’s start with the crater, then, we’ll go to the Chocobo’s forests.” Agreed Seifer.

 

* * *

Squall stayed on the platform with Fujin and Irvine. They checked Linoa’s location with her cell phone and began to think about what it could have happened to Zell.

“Nida! When should we arrive?” asked Squall.

“I’m doing my best Commander…I pushed the machines to the most of the speed, so…about two or three hours.”

“Fine.”

Irvine looked at the map and checked some points where they should concentrate their researches. He started to explain his plan to Fujin and Squall.

“Okay, I went to Trabia with Selphie, so I know pretty well this continent. There’re just few places there…take a look.” He pointed the map with his finger.

“If we look Linoa’s location on her cell phone, they’re gonna go to the crater…”

Fujin cut him. “Zell? Did you try to locate him with his cell phone signal?”

“Yes. No signal.” Replied Squall.

They heard somebody used the platform to join them. It was Edea.

“Matron. Did you have some news?” asked Squall.

“No, Darling…Cid called Trabia’s headmaster. He confirmed he never requested Zell’s presence. They promised us to send some of their seeds to look for Zell in the continent.” She explained.

“Good.”

She stared at him worried. “I have a bad feeling about this…”

“Yes…us too, Matron.” Added Irvine.

“I know…but I thought about Seifer…”

“SEIFER?” demanded Fujin.

“Yeah…if something happened to Zell…I don’t know what he could do…and with Ultimecia in his head…it would be worse that we could imagine…” she answered.

Squall approached and put his hand on her shoulder. “I know Matron, but it won’t happen. We’ll find Zell alive and…it will be okay.”

Edea noticed Squall’s concern and she understood he was afraid too. Saying that to her, he probably tried to convince himself…

“Do you think…Zell had been kidnapped?” asked Irvine.

“It couldn’t be different. We left him near of the Garden and he took a car. He couldn’t have an accident…somebody on the Garden would have noticed…but who did this?” said Squall.

“We have to find him.” Concluded Fujin.

 

* * *

After two hours, the group didn’t find anything. They went to the crater, to the canyon and to the chocobo’s forests…even in Shumi village but no Zell. Seifer couldn’t contain his anger anymore and started to hit a tree with his fists.

“DAMMIT!!!! WHERE IS HE?” he yelled.

Lulu sat on the ground and hid her face between her legs. Quistis rubbed her back gently to reassure her.

“Seifer…calm down…” said Linoa.

“HOW COULD I BE CALM?” he shouted angrily. “ZELL IS SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING CONTINENT, PROBABLY IN DANGER!”

“But it’s doesn’t change anything if you lose your self-control!” replied Linoa putting her hands on her hips.

Seifer muttered and kicked a big stone with his foot. “I promise if something happened to Zell, I’ll kill your precious “commander!”

Linoa became scared when she heard his words. “Seifer…I know you’re worried but…it’s not Squall’s fault…”

“OF COURSE IT’S HIS FAULT! HE WAS THE ONE WHO SENT HIM HERE!”

Selphie went to him. “Seif, listen…someone in Trabia Garden probably falsified an order mission to lure Zell into his trap. It’s someone from the Garden for sure! Nobody could guess…”

“Pray for them that Zell is still alive…or I’ll destroy their fucking Garden! And I won’t fail this time!!”

Everyone froze in horror. Seifer sounded like the one he used to be when he was under Ultimecia’s control. All of them were worried for Zell but the gunbladist was particularly scaring…maybe it were just words but…who knew what he could do if something happened to Zell?

Selphie blinked. “Oh! I remember now!” she said.

“What?” asked Raijin.

“There’s a cave on the south of the Garden! It’s a hidden place between forest and nobody really goes there because of the monsters on this zone. They are particularly strong…”

“A cave?” demanded Linoa.

“Yes. We used to go to this place to train for seed exam but a lot of students died there, so the Garden stopped to send cadets in this cavern. Let’s take a look!”

“Fine. Let’s go to the Ragnarok.” Agreed Quistis.

 

* * *

 

Zell was still on the ground. His aggressors stopped to hit him. They were exhausted and made a pause. They were joined by other men who laughed at the martial artist when they noticed him. He was bleeding everywhere. He didn’t faint but he couldn’t feel his limbs anymore. They broke his legs and his arms with their blows and their weapons. He couldn’t move so they removed his chains.

“Poor princess…where’s your knight now?” joked one of the men.

Zell recognized his opponent. “ _I know this voice…_ ” he thought.

“Remember me, faggot?” asked the man pulling Zell’s hair.

It was the man who insulted him in Balamb Garden. He was with his friend.

“Of course you remember…now, who’s laughing, huh, Dincht?”

He was face to face with the martial artist. Zell couldn’t see him clearly since his face was covered by bruises, injuries and blood. His mouth and his nose were broken…even his eyes were bleeding. He could feel his tears of blood running down his cheeks.

“After our quarrel…I called some friends in Trabia Garden. You can’t imagine how they were happy to know that you finally found love with their enemy! You gave them the opportunity to take their revenge…now your precious knight will understand what he did to us…and you’re gonna pay to have saved his life!” he laughed at him.

Zell opened his eyes and smiled at him. When he noticed the change of his expression, he found the strength to spit in his face. The man released his hair and wiped Zell’s saliva mixed with blood on his cheek.

“Well, well…I think you didn’t learn your lesson, slut…” he said with a scaring look.

The leader approached. “He is pretty strong. We broke his legs, his feet, his arms, his hands, his ribs…even his mouth and his nose but he’s still alive…to be honest with you, we tortured him more than you can imagine…”

“Really?”

“Yes. We burned him, electrocuted him, and froze him with magic spells…I can tell you we didn’t go easy on him but…he seems to handle it pretty well…” confirmed the man.

“Oh…maybe he didn’t have enough?” suggested the other one.

“Maybe…what do you propose?”

The guy approached and kicked Zell on his stomach, forcing him to stay on his back. The man was on the top of him, still in his feet, looking at the martial artist with a sadistic look. He began to unbutton his pants.

“Maybe he needs some “kind gestures”, don’t you think?”

Zell started to panic. “ _No…don’t tell me he’s gonna…”_ he thought worried.

The leader went to him. “You wanna do it with him?”

“Why not? If the knight fucks him, that means he’s probably good…and I think he won’t handle it so well this time…trust me.”

The other men joined them and fixed the martial artist with lust. “What a good suggestion!”

Two men ripped violently Zell’s clothes and stripped him completely. He tried to struggle but his body hurt everywhere. He couldn’t run away…each move twisted his pain more than he could handle it. Now…he was scared. He didn’t fear pain, torture or anything but this time…he was terrified.

“N..o…pl..e..as..e…no..t…th..at…” he begged, crying.

The man who was on the top of him stroked his cock and sat on his stomach. Zell gasped when he felt his heavy body on his broken ribs.

“You beg me now?” He grabbed Zell’s throat with his hand. “I’m gonna explode your little ass…” He spread Zell’s legs abruptly and presented his cock in front of the tight entrance. He laughed again.

“You can squeeze your cheeks as much as you want, it’s useless…it will be more painful for you, princess!”

Zell had no strength anymore to fight back. He closed his eyes trying to convince himself it was just a nightmare and he would wake up soon, but the pain brought him back to the reality.

“No! Pl..e..ase..not ..tha..t” he begged again.

“Oh Yes! I’m gonna show you what a real man is!!” he put it in roughly, making Zell gasped in pain.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

“AAAHhhh!!! YEEESSS!” moaned the rapist. “So tight…I can feel your inside squeezing around my cock!”

“Such a bloody slut!” joked the leader.

Zell cried. “Ple..ase…take…ta..ke it…out…”

But the man grabbed his hips and started to move quickly. “No way! I’m gonna dirty your inside with my come so that your lovely knight won’t ever want you again…if you survive, of course!”

“AAAAAHHHHHH! STOP IT….PLE..ASE…” shouted Zell.

But nothing would change. The pain was intolerable…but it wasn’t the worse he had to face. He felt guilty. He didn’t want to do that, of course…but he had the feeling he was betraying Seifer, abandoning his body to another one. “ _Help…someone…please, help me…”_ he said to himself.

Another man pulled his hair, forcing him to look at what they did to him. They touched him everywhere…pinching and biting his nipples, stroking his cock, squeezing hard his testicles…it was the most horrible torture he had to endure…

The rapist went faster and harder, hitting his prostate violently with each move. He strangled Zell’s throat so hard that the martial artist couldn’t breathe and involuntary squeezed his ass more around the rapist’s cock. This sensation gave him more pleasure and he finally came in his ass. Zell closed his eyes and screamed.

“NOOOO! STOP IT!!!”

The man breathed heavily and enjoyed his pleasure, staying in the same position, with his cock still inside of the martial artist. “Aaaaahhhhh!!!! Good!”

The tattooed man was crying. “ _No…no...Seifer…forgive me…_ ” he said to himself.

The man got up and let his place to another one. “Enjoy gentlemen! He’s really good!”

During all the time they raped him, Zell couldn’t stop thinking about Seifer. He remembered his touch, his body, his scent…his smile. He understood he would probably never see him again. The poor blond was so ashamed that he just thought about dying now…

“ _Seifer…forgive me..my love…”_ he thought.

It was supposed to be his last mission…he thought he would come back to Winhill with his lover and their wonderful daughter…they would marry…they would live together: waking up in the same bed together every day, cooking, talking, smiling, making love, being with Lulu, bringing her to school each morning…

“ _We could have been so happy…”_

Lulu…he thought about her. She was the one who made him realize what he felt for Seifer. She gave him so much love and kindness. She was beautiful and nice with her wonderful smile…with her concerned look when he and Seifer were depressed…she understood him better than anybody. How he missed her…

_“My princess…forgive me. I should have quitted a long time ago to stay by your side…I wish you the best my sweetheart…you know how much I love you…I should have told you more…but it will be alright…Seifer will take care of you…you won’t be alone…my angel…I was so happy…thank you for everything…”_

His life would end this way. Beaten and raped by some bastards…far away from his home, from his friends…from everything. He always had thought he would die in battle, like his grandfather…like a soldier…

_“My friends…we went so far together…We grew up together, we became seeds together, we fought together…we were a posse. I will never forget you: Fujin, Raijin, Linoa…take care of my gang…take care of them: Quistis, my confident…Irvine, my advisor…Selphie, my partner in crime…and Squall, my best friend…thank you guys!”_

Zell was lost in his thoughts. He couldn’t hear them, insulting and humiliating him. The pain was harder to support each time he moved. Men succeeded one after another to fuck him senseless without mercy. His inside was burning especially when they used their weapons to hurt him harder. He tried to ignore them, thinking about the ones he loved to forget the pain, and the shame. He thought about Matron…and his Ma.

_“Matron…I hope one day you will be able to forgive yourself…it wasn’t your fault, don’t blame yourself anymore. You have a big heart. You gave us so much love and kindness…you deserve to be happy, so take this chance and forget the past…”_

 He felt more depressed thinking about his Ma.

“ _Ma…you are the best mother I could have ever wished. I never told you how much I felt lucky to have been adopted by you and Dad…you loved me as if you gave me birth…you accepted me like I was. You encouraged me making me become what I’m today…and you supported me in all my choices. You never judged me and you loved me unconditionally…you are the best. I love you so much…forgive me for the pain that I’m gonna give you…I wish Lulu and Seifer would help you…I gave you a granddaughter. She loves you and she will need you when I’ll be gone…My precious Ma…”_

He opened his eyes when he felt something cold dripping on his face. Some of these bastards came on his face and his chest. The blood was mixed with their semen…Zell felt so disgusted that he wanted to puke, but he didn’t have the strength to do it anymore. He was dying slowly…it wasn’t only because of the pain…but especially because of the shame.

“ _Seifer…my love…I understand now what you felt when they abused you so many times…I wished I could erase the pain from your heart, that I could help you against this bitch…and in the end, I’m gonna cause you more soreness…I’m gonna break your heart…I’m so ashamed. Forgive me honey…I should have fought more…they took my body…I was yours, I betrayed you…I’m so dirty…forgive me. It wasn’t what I wanted…you can’t imagine how happy I was when you told me you loved me…when you asked me to marry you…it was like a dream…we could have been so happy together…I would give everything to see you a last time but it’s better this way…I couldn’t support you see me like this…I would disgust you…I disgust myself…forgive me_.”

Zell looked at the ground with dead eyes. His body was moving alone, as if he was just a corpse now. He had no tears to shed, no voice to shout, no strength to fight…no desire to live anymore.

_“Forgive yourself my love…you’re not the monster you think you’re. You’re the best father Lulu could wish, the best friend Raijin and Fujin could have…and the best lover I could had have…you are wonderful…you are beautiful…you are pure but they took your innocence and made you suffer…I hate them! Please, don’t let this bitch steal your mind again! Be strong and fight back. Don’t let her come back. I know you can do it…I wished I could help you and stay by your side…and now…it’s my turn to hurt you…forgive me…I love you…I love you so much…if I knew things were going to turn out like this, I would have held you more tightly…I should have expressed my love more often…and I should have told you I loved you so many more times…more and more…and more…”_

“What’s up, Princess? Should we bring other men for you?” they laughed at him.

“You’re right. He’s pretty good…your knight has some good tastes, I admit…”

“Okay guys! Who’s the next?”

Zell didn’t hear the answer but he felt someone putting his hard dick in him again. He couldn’t understand how they could do this to someone defenseless and who was bleeding. Didn’t they feel ashamed?

“Zell…”

The martial artist blinked. “ _This voice…Seifer?_ _No…I probably become crazy…”_

“ZELL!!!”

“ _Quistis?_ ”

“ZELLY!!!”

“ _Lulu???”_

The tattooed man opened his eyes and looked in their direction and finally noticed Seifer, Lulu, Quistis, Selphie, Linoa and Raijin’s presence. His lover was just in front of him and his aggressors, fixing them with horror, in shock. Zell felt ashamed and tried to hide his face against the ground.

“Don’t…do..n’t look…” he whispered crying.

The man who was on him grabbed the martial artist by the waist and forced him to impale himself on his cock. The poor man was raped and exposed to his friends, his daughter and his lover’s eyes. His rapist was behind him and penetrated him slowly, stroking his cock and pinching his nipples. Zell could feel his wet tongue running along his neck. He grimaced in disgust and tried to struggle, but the pain stopped him.

The leader approached to Seifer and the others. “What a surprise! The courageous knight came to save his little princess…such a romantic story!”

The other men laughed. They raised their weapons to the gang.

“Stop it! Why do you do that to him?” asked Linoa.

“He deserves it! He’s the knight’s slut!” replied one of the men.

“LET GO OF ZELLY!!” yelled the little girl but Quistis held her.

Selphie approached. “WHY? Zell is a hero! He saved you from Ultimecia!!! How could you do that?”

They pointed their guns at them forcing the group to stay back.

“It’s not your business Selphie! You’re one of us, don’t force us to hurt you.”

“ONE OF YOURS??? YOU RAPED AND BEAT MY FRIEND!!!” she yelled angry. “LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!!’

“FUCK OFF! STAY AWAY!” replied another man.

Seifer kept silent. He was fixing Zell with dead eyes. He was lost in his thoughts. They were raping his lover…they were hitting him…it couldn’t be true.

 

“ _Look what you’ve done my Knight! I told you…it’s because of you…”_

“Because of me…”

“ _Yes…they raped him because he’s your lover…”_

“Because he’s my lover…”

“ _He should have never endured this if only he didn’t love you…it’s your fault…”_

“My fault…”

_“I told you, remember? I knew you would hurt him… it's been that way ever since you were a kid. People you love always die and suffer.”_

“People…I love…”

_“You’re a murderer…”_

“A murderer…”

_“A failure…”_

“A failure…”

_“Even when you try to be good, you always cause troubles and pain…”_

“Troubles…and pain…”

_“Stop lying to yourself my Knight! There’s no good in you. You’re bad…that’s why you destroy everything around you…”_

“I’m bad…”

_“Yes my Knight, you’re bad. You don’t belong to their world. There’s no place for you there or in their heart…”_

**_Bahamut : “Are you gonna let them torture him?”_ **

**_Diablo: “Make them pay for what they did to your lover…send them to hell…”_ **

**_Ifrit: “Take your revenge.”_ **

**_Bahamut: “Give voice to your anger!”_ **

**_Ifrit: “Let your hatred burning them alive…”_ **

**_Shiva: “Don’t let your strength freeze…use it.”_ **

**_Diablo: “Let them taste the hell…they will know the darkness…the pain…”_ **

**_Bahamut: “Kill them. Punish them. ”_ **

**_Shiva: “Break them. Express yourself…look how Zell is ashamed…as he suffers…”_ **

**_Diablo: “It will never end…they hate you. They will make the ones you love suffer. They won’t let you live peacefully…”_ **

**_Ifrit: “They are beasts…nobody will blame you to take their lives…they deserve your vengeance.”_ **

**_Shiva: “It’s you turn to take your revenge. Don’t you think you paid enough?”_ **

**_Bahamut: “If you don’t do it for you…do it for him. For his dignity…”_ **

**_Diablo: “You have the RIGHT to take your revenge. They started…now they have to pay.”_ **

**_Shiva: “This is their fault, not yours. They deserve it. Do it.”_ **

**_Ifrit: “It’s time to pay…Do it.”_ **

**_Diablo: “Let us help you…do it.”_ **

**_Bahamut: “Use our strength. Do it.”_ **

_“Yes, my Knight…do it. Kill them…kill them…”_

“No…No…”

_“Why are you so scared? You have the strength…use it.”_

“But…”

_“But what? Don’t you see how they humiliate your precious love?”_

“Zell…I’m so sorry…”

_“Avenge him.”_

“Zell…”

_“Avenge him my Knight…let your anger explode…”_

“Bastards…”

_“Yes my Knight…use your power…”_

“Bastards…”

_“Do it…Come on!”_

“BASTARDS!!!!”

 

Seifer’s mind was full of contempt, hatred, anger, rage…there weren’t enough words to describe how he felt. They killed the man he became attacking Zell…they ruined all his efforts to become another one making his lover suffer like this…they destroyed what there was good or human in him…they released the beast…they had to pay for this.

“Oh…the knight seems to be in shock!” joked one of the men.

He was about to touch him when Seifer used Hyperion and beheaded him with a single blow. He didn’t let his body fall on the ground; he used his sword again to cut each part of it with violent blows. The blood was spurting from everywhere, covering Seifer’s face, hands and arms with red…When he finally stopped, there was nothing anymore of the man's body…just body parts on the ground…blood, intestines, flesh…everywhere. Everyone stayed in shock, scared and terrified about the tall blond. Even Zell’s aggressors were shaking seeing their friend in pieces…his head was rolling on the floor.

Seifer went to the cut head and fixed it with empty eyes, before raising his leg and crushed it brutally against the ground. His strength was so huge that he broke the head in two pieces. Everyone heard bones and teeth cracked…eyes were popping out of their sockets…and the blood spattered on the floor. It was a vision of nightmare. Zell couldn’t believe what he was seeing…Quistis tried to hide Lulu’s vision from this horror…

On the same time, Squall, Irvine and Fujin arrived and joined the gang. The others didn’t hear them coming because they were rooted to the spot…Seifer was so scaring. He was covered by blood, Hyperion on his hand.

“Guys! What’s going on?” asked Squall when he finally saw Zell naked and injured. “Zell!!”

“Sons of Bitch!!!” yelled Irvine raising his gun but all the men did the same.

The man who was raping Zell let fall the martial artist on his stomach and grabbed his hair, putting a knife on his throat. “If you try anything stupid, you can say good bye to your precious friend…”

Zell moaned in pain, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Seifer…he fixed him, worried. He wasn’t the same man…no he wasn’t the Seifer he knew. His eyes were full of hatred…for the first time since the end of the war, Zell was scared about his lover…

Squall saw the body on the ground…he gasped seeing all the blood and body parts everywhere. Seifer breathed heavily looking at his hands with dead eyes. His hair, his face, his hands, his chest were covered by blood…and the last members of the gang understood immediately what happened. Fujin approached whispering softly…

“Seifer…”

But the gunbladist didn’t notice or reply. He turned his back and fixed the men. His expression changed. It wasn’t an angry look anymore but…an evil one now. They could see veins on his face…and without wasting time, he ran toward the men and began to attack them without letting them the time to respond. The first one who was on his way died in less than one second. The gunbladist grabbed his head with his hand and cut it with one single blow with Hyperion. He kept the head in his hand, before throwing it to them. He was about to attack again when the men raised their guns and shot.

“KILL THIS BASTARD!!!”

“DIE!! SON OF BITCH!!”

 The group shot him several times. Squall and the others started to fight but the battle stopped when all the men shot Seifer on the same time. Zell found the strength to struggle and shouted in despair.

“SEIFER!!!!!!!”

He received so many bullets that the gunbladist fell on the ground. They shot him in the head, on the chest, on the legs…every part of his body were bleeding.

“VIVI!!!!” The little girl ran toward his father but Selphie grabbed her.

“NO! Lulu! Don’t!!!”

“Selphy! Let me go!!!”

But she didn’t release her. Everyone was frozen…they killed him…

Fujin and Raijin raised their weapons and started to attack the men. “BASTARDS!!!!!”

They didn’t kill them but they shot Raijin on his legs. The tall man fell on the ground.

“RAIJIN!” yelled Fujin. She was about to take her revenge when a man raised his gun in front of her.

“Don’t even think about it, darling…” he suggested her.

Squall and the others didn’t dare to do something. Zell was still between their hands, and now Raijin and Fujin too. They couldn’t do anything else for Seifer now…Lulu was still struggling. Selphie held her and began to cry…

“God…how could you do that?” she said with tears in her voice.

“Why…WHY? HOW COULD YOU?” shouted Squall with anger.

“You ask us about this, Commander? All the ones you love are still alive…what about us? We lost everything because of this fucking bastard! Did you really think that we could forgive him so easily?” replied the man who held Zell.

“Drop your weapons. All of you!” ordered another man.

Nobody moved. They killed Seifer…and they hurt Zell. They couldn’t get away with this. When Zell’s aggressor noticed they didn’t obey, he threatened them again putting his knife on the martial artist’s throat again.

“Don’t you hear what he said? Drop your weapons or I’ll kill him!”

Squall glared at them and threw his gunblade on the ground. The others did the same with their weapons. The man laughed at them.

“Don’t even think about using magic or g-force…your little friend just lost his lover so…don’t force him to see his friends die too…” he joked.

“Bastards!!!!” muttered Irvine with hatred.

The martial artist was trembling, in shock. He fixed Seifer’s body with eyes open widely. It couldn’t be true…they couldn’t do it…he was completely lost in his thoughts, forgetting the pain, the shame, the fear…forgetting everything.

“ _No…Seifer…wake up…it..it can’t be true…_ ” he said to himself. But his lover didn’t move. He was just a corpse.

“ _Seifer…honey…no…don’t…you…can’t…”_ He blinked, but the vision was still the same. _“It…can’t be true…it’s a nightmare…I’m gonna wake up…it has to be a nightmare…”_ he repeated to himself, trying desperately to convince himself.

The men never stopped pointing their guns toward them when one of them approached from Seifer’s body. He spat with contempt at his corpse, before kicking him on the stomach.

“STOP IT!” screamed Quistis with sadness and anger. “Do you have no shame?”

The man laughed at her and fixed her with a cruel look. Fujin got up and walked to him. She had no weapon…just her rage. She couldn’t support to see that. The man pointed his gun on her.

“Stay back, bitch!” he ordered.

But she didn’t stop. She walked faster. The man insisted and finally renounced, smiling sadistically.

“Well…if that’s what you want, you’ll be the next one!” he said.

“Fujin, don’t!” screamed Raijin. He stood up with difficulties and tried to join her.

 The man was about to shoot her when he was stopped by a strong arm around his throat. He struggled but another arm pierced his body from the back. 

“AAAARRRGG!!!!!!!!!!!” screamed in pain the man when a hand pulled his hair and ripped his head off from his body. The man fell on the ground and everyone could see a strange and a frightening creature.

“Sei..fer?” murmured Fujin in shock.

Yes…it was him. A part of his body was still human, but another one was different. There was no flesh on this side…as if the body had just bones or something like that…His corpse was mutating. In few seconds, all of his body changed, exposing his chest, his back, his arms and his feet. His shirt was completely torn, as his shoes. He just had his black pants. He had no flesh anymore…the bullets on his body started to fall on the ground, as if he healed himself…

“God…what is it? Is it Seifer?” asked Squall.

The creature he became was scaring. His skin disappeared and was replaced by a white and thin shell looking like bones. He had a hole where the belly button used to be. One of his hands had long fingers with craws. The other one was still human. It was the hand where he wore Lulu’s bracelet and his ring. He had big and large webbed feet; his shoes cracked with the evolution of his feet. His face was covered by a strange mask…a white one with huge and long apparent fangs on his open beak. He still had piercing and green eyes. It was one the last human things he kept. He didn’t have ears anymore, but horns instead. The mask covered all his head, even his forehead but it stopped at the beginning of his neck where they could see his blond hair escaping from the mask. His hair was particularly long, reaching the end of the back.

“What is this?” asked the man holding Zell by his hair.

The martial artist blinked when he saw the creature. It couldn’t be Seifer…no…He was alive but…he wasn’t human anymore. Did he become a monster? What was that?

The man shook Zell’s hair violently, looking at the others, annoyed. “You summoned a g-force? Then…say good bye to your friend!” He was about to cut Zell’s throat when Seifer disappeared suddenly. The man blinked.

“Wh..at?”

He didn’t have the time to understand that the creature appeared just behind him and grabbed his face with one hand. He held him just in front of him and threw him away violently against the wall.

“Se..ifer?” whispered Zell, scared.

The creature fixed him but didn’t reply. He glared at the other men. They raised their guns and started to shoot.

“KILL HIM!!”

But Seifer took Zell in his arms and disappeared. He deposed the martial artist’s injured body just behind Irvine and Squall and moved quickly to the men.

“SHIT!!! KILL THIS BEAST!!” they yelled.

But the bullets bounced on Seifer’s shell. He was indestructible…invincible. Lulu, Linoa, Squall and Quistis went to Zell to treat him.

“Zelly!!!” The little girl didn’t waste time and used several curaga on the martial artist. Quistis used her limit break “White wind”. On the same time, Selphie and Fujin returned to Raijin’s side and helped him.

Everyone stopped and fixed Seifer when they heard shouts. The men were so scared that they tried to escape but the group blocked the only exit. Their weapons were useless against this monster. In despair, they used magic spells and summoned their g-forces but even their most powerful guardian- force were afraid about Seifer and refused to fight.

“No…please…let me go…” begged one of the men when Seifer pierced his body with his arm, before burning his corpse.

The others started to run when Seifer raised his hand. All of them began to burn alive. They shouted in pain and struggled. Linoa and Selphie looked away, scared by their shouts. After few minutes, they died. There was no noise anymore…there was just Zell’s aggressor, still knocked against the wall. He was terrified and couldn’t move…Seifer already killed a dozen reliable men but he kept the best for the end. He approached slowly.

“No! No! Please…” cried the man. He crawled on the ground, trying desperately to escape but Seifer went to him and stayed just in front of his prey.

“Please…” but the creature didn’t listen to his pleas. He grabbed him by the hair and crushed his body against the wall. He fixed him and roared at his face with a terrifying look. The man trembled so hard that his teeth were chattering. Seifer ripped his arms off violently.

“AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!” His shouts were hard to hear for the group.

When the man was about to fall on his knees, Seifer did it again and ripped his legs off too. The man couldn’t escape now…The blood sprang of everywhere, covering the walls and the ground…the creature finished him off beheading him.

The group was frozen…what would happen now? Seifer already killed everyone. Yes, these bastards deserved it…and he seemed to have human feelings when he saved Zell, putting him out of the danger…but what now? He wasn’t Seifer anymore…he was a beast…a threatening and dangerous beast…


	31. Desperation

After the massacre, the group was still in the cavern. Zell was severely injured and even if Lulu and Quistis used magic spells to treat him, he was still in bad condition. Raijin was slightly hurt on his legs but nothing serious. In fact, it wasn’t that they preoccupied the most the group but Seifer…the tall blond lost his human form and seemed to not be able to become normal again. He was still on his feet in the middle of the place, surrounded by bodies and blood on the ground.

“Hyne…he mutated…” whispered Squall softly.

“We should call Valentine to know what we could do now about this.” Suggested Quistis.

“But…we can’t let him here alone…and on the other way, it’s not safe to bring him with us…we’re not even sure he would follow us…” replied Squall.

“Listen…the most important thing now is to get out of here. Zell needs medical cares, Raijin too.” Exclaimed Irvine.

“You’re right. Let’s go.”

But Zell struggled. “No…I won’t let him alone here…”

Quistis sighted. “Zell, you are injured!”

“I WON’T LEAVE HIM!” replied Zell yelling.

Seifer turned his back and looked at them. Lulu got up and walked toward him slowly.

“Vivi…”

Selphie took her hand. “Lulu, don’t!”

But she couldn’t stop her. The little girl ran and held the creature who used to be her father in her arms, without fear.

“Vivi…you’re still my Vivi! I won’t let you too!”

Seifer didn’t move. He didn’t dare to touch her. He was afraid about his own power…his own form…and what he did just few minutes ago.

_“Sweetie…I’m so sorry you had to see all these horrible things…forgive me…”_

Seifer’s voice resounded in the little girl’s brain. She was the one who could hear him. She smiled sadly, trying to comfort the poor man.

“You saved Zelly as you promised, Vivi. That’s all matter.”

_“He endured this because of me…look what I’ve done, Lulu…I’m a monster…”_

“You’re not a monster! Don’t say that!”

Everyone blinked. They didn’t understand why she seemed to talk with Seifer when he didn’t pronounce a single word. But they remembered she could read his thoughts, so he was probably talking with her now.

_“Look at me! Look around you! Look what they did to Zell! You really think a good person would do this? I’m a monster…I’ve always been a monster…”_

“No! No! You did it to protect Zelly!”

_“I told you I’ll hurt you. I told you…”_

“It’s not your fault Vivi…”

_“Of course it’s my fault! Look how your life changed since the day I met you! You and Zell had a peaceful existence before I arrive in your life…I didn’t want this…but it has nothing to do with my desire…I’m hurting people around me.”_

“Vivi…”

_“Stay away from me!”_

Seifer moved back pushing softly the little girl. When they broke their embrace, Lulu tried to approach but he ran away.

_“I told you to stay away!”_

“But Vivi…I love you…I’m not mad at you…”

_“Stop saying that!”_

Seifer shook his head, putting his hands on his face.

_“I’ll hurt you again…don’t tell me that…leave me alone…”_

The kid stopped and began to cry. Seifer continued to move back when he raised his head. He suddenly saw Linoa walking toward him. She wasn’t in her normal state. He noticed her look and he remembered the time when she came to him in Galbadia Garden.

_“Linoa…what are you doing?”_

 The group frowned and called her. “Lin? What’s wrong?” asked Squall.

But the woman didn’t reply. She was still walking toward Seifer. Lulu understood something was wrong with her and tried to call her too but she stayed back afraid when she touched her hand.

“Vivi…Liny is strange…”

Squall ran in her direction but Linoa raised her arm and threw him a magic spell. The gunbladist crashed against the wall.

“SQUALL!” yelled Quistis and Selphie.

Seifer started to panic.

_“Linoa…please…don’t…”_

She was near of him. Her eyes were completely different…she was possessed. Her fragile body was moving alone. She had no expression on her face, just empty and dead eyes. She couldn’t control herself anymore.

“I’m coming…Mistress…” she whispered.

 Seifer pushed her away, trying to not hurt her but she slammed him roughly. He fell on his knees. Lulu yelled in despair but she didn’t have the time to do anything.

“I’m here…Mistress…” repeated Linoa.

“LINY! NO!”

Linoa pierced Seifer’s chest with her arm and stayed in the same position during a short time. A bright light rose and blinded everyone. Most of them tried to protect their eyes from this powerful light when they heard Seifer screaming.

“SEIFER!!!!” shouted Zell who tried to stand up.

“VIVI!!”

A malefic aura pushed them away violently. They could hear cruel laughs from there even if they couldn’t see anything yet. They immediately understood what happened and began to fear the worst.

“God! Don’t tell me…” started to say Selphie when they finally saw the most scaring thing they could have imagined.

“Ultimecia…” murmured terrified Irvine.

Seifer was on the ground, unconscious. Linoa was on her feet with Ultimecia’s features. Everyone shivered when they distinguished her sadistic smile and her terrifying and malefic aura.

**“AAAAAHHHH!!!!! I‘M FINALLY FREE!!”**

Her voice was shrill and frightening. The nightmare started again…they fought so hard against her but she never died. She was still in Seifer’s mind during all this time, waiting for a nice opening to release herself…

 **“I've been waiting this moment for so long! You can’t imagine how was it hard to release myself from him…he did a good job locking me in his pitiful and damaged mind, but you gave me a good chance today! Thank you!”** Joked the sorceress.

“What…?” murmured Squall in shock.

 **“Oh, yeah! Don’t you remember how weak he is emotionally? When he saw his lover like this, I didn’t have any problem to convince him to kill them…even if I’ve got some help from his g-forces. You’ll thank Geyser for me!”** she continued to laugh.

“G-forces?” asked Quistis.

**“Yes. His sleeping cells have been activated with the shock he received when he saw his beloved darling. You lost him…the same way you lost your precious princess now. She had my power, but now…I’m gonna recover my strength! Prepare to die!”**

The sorceress disappeared instantly in a foggy cloud, laughing. Squall ran toward her in despair, trying to catch her.

“LINOA!!!”

Lulu went to Seifer and stayed by his side on her knees.

“Vivi? Can you hear me?”

The tall blond was shaking but his wound on his chest started to disappear. He looked at his daughter with a painful expression.

_“Matron…”_

“What?” asked Lulu.

 _“Matron…she…she is in…danger…protect her…”_ said Seifer to Lulu.

“Matron?” demanded the little girl.

Quistis approached. “How is he Lulu? What about Matron?” she asked.

“Quisty…Vivi told me Matron is in danger…”

“Oh God!!! Ultimecia!” panicked Quistis; She turned her back to the others to explain. “She’s gonna get Matron to recover all her power! We need to return to the Garden, right now!!”

“But…what about Linoa and…Seifer?” asked Selphie.

But Quistis didn’t have the time to suggest anything that Seifer got up and disappeared immediately.

“Vivi! Don’t go!!!” yelled the little girl.

“Seifer!!” shouted Zell.

But the ex-gunbaldist left, letting everyone on the cave. After a short time, Irvine took off his vest and his shirt, covering Zell’s naked body.

“Let’s get out of here.” Proposed the cowboy.

“Alright. Let’s go.” Quistis took Lulu’s hand and started to join the others when she noticed Squall’s concern.

“Squall…let’s go.” She said, putting her hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t react. She insisted. “We have to go. Come on.”

Squall was lost in his thoughts. Linoa was under Ultimecia’s power now. He was so afraid that it could arrive again…that was why he was so rude with Seifer…but now, it was useless…Seifer had mutated, Linoa was possessed, and Zell…had suffered so much…Squall had sent him there. He was the one who recommended his best friend for this false mission…

“Squall, please. We really need to move.” Told again Quistis. “We’ll save her…”

The brunette looked at her sadly and nodded, walking with her and Lulu. The worst was in front of them, now…

 

* * *

 

The group returned in the garden. Zell was in the infirmary with Lulu, Raijin and Fujin. Kadowaki took care of them and healed their injuries. Zell was still in bad condition. He didn’t want to see anyone except his daughter, probably because he was ashamed and shocked…but in fact, he was worried for Seifer. He saved him but…where was he now? Why did he disappear? What would happen now? Ultimecia recovered a large part of her power…everything started again. The martial artist closed his eyes. He pretended to be asleep to not cry in front of Lulu. She was lying down on the same bed and stayed close to him, putting her head on his chest. She was crying softly.

“Zelly…”

Zell caressed her hair tenderly. “I know Lulu…I’m worried too.”

The little girl raised her body, staying on her knees. She touched Zell’s face with her little fingers. “Do you still suffer?”

Zell shook his head. “Just a little. You did a good job to heal me with Quistis and Kadowaki…”

She sighted. “I thought…you were about die…” she couldn’t contain her tears anymore and hid her face to cry.

“I’m sorry…I’m okay now…” He grabbed her hand and pulled her down against his torso again. “I’m so sorry you had to see that…”

“Zelly…”

“How did you find me? What were you doing in Trabia?” asked the martial artist.

Lulu took Zell’s hand and held it. “I felt…you were in danger. Quisty, Liny, Selphy and Raijy were in Winhill with us…and when I told them for you, Vivi believed me and we went there…”

“Really? You felt I was in danger?”

“Yes…we were looking for you everywhere and…Vivi began to change…”

“What do you mean, Honey?”

“He was worried and afraid…but he was also angry. He yelled at Liny, saying that it was Squally’s fault…and other scaring things as he would destroy the garden in Trabia if something happened to you…”

 Zell closed his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, but he was so sad. He felt a gentle touch on his cheek.

“I know you’re sad Zelly…”

The martial artist fixed her in the eyes. She approached and put her little body against his chest slowly to no hurt him because of his broken ribs. Zell enrolled his arms around her, even if each move he did hurt him. He understood that Lulu wanted to comfort him…she knew he kept his sadness for him…he couldn’t contain his tears anymore and began to cry. Lulu was brushing his hair gently. It reminded her the day when she was at the beach with Vivi. It was the first time he was crying in front of her…and she realized how much she missed him now…

“Don’t hold your pain Zelly…” she whispered to his ear. She kissed his forehead. Even if she was just a child, she was mature. Zell and Seifer were her parents; she wanted to protect them so badly that she could do anything for them.

They were interrupted by a knock. It was Quistis.

“Sorry to disturb you…I just wanted to know how you felt…”

Zell smiled sadly. “Come in.”

Quistis approached and caressed Lulu’s hair tenderly. The little girl stood up.

“I’m gonna see if Raijy is okay….” She kissed Zell on the cheek. “I let you with Quisty…try to rest okay?”

Zell laughed. “Yes Mommy!”

Lulu rolled her eyes, annoyed and smiled at Quistis. She closed the door behind her.

“She’s adorable…” said Quistis.

“I know…I love her so much…”

Quistis sat at the edge of the bed. The martial artist stayed in the same position, back against the headboard.

“How are you feeling?” asked the blond.

Zell sighted. “I’ll live…I’m just worried about Linoa…and Seifer.”

Quistis looked down. She didn’t know what to say. “We defeated Ultimecia once. We’ll do it again.”

The tattooed man stared at her. “What about Seifer?”

She stayed silent. She finally answered with a hesitant voice: “I don’t know…Laguna called Valentine but he needs more time…”

“You don’t have to lie Quistis. I can see in your eyes you think it’s too late to save him…”

“Zell…”

“You think he couldn’t recover his human form, don’t you?”

She blushed with embarrassment. It was exactly what she thought, but she couldn’t say it. Zell already endured so much pain…he didn’t need to handle Seifer’s problem in addition of that.

“I thought it would be my last mission…I was thinking about my life with Seifer and Lulu…about our wedding, our future…” Zell raised his hand above his head and fixed his engaged ring with sadness. “Why everything is so hard for him? Each time he tried to be happy, something happened to destroy his hopes…it seems that Seifer is not allowed to be happy…”

“I’m sorry…”

“I wanted to give him happiness and love…but the only thing what I could bring him is pain. I gave him more argument to comfort him in his opinion that he was a bastard…”

“It wasn’t your fault…”

“I should have been more careful…”

“You couldn’t guess Zell. Don’t blame yourself.”

He sighted. “Quistis…he mutated because he saw what they did to me…”

“He would have mutated anyway. If we hadn’t found you, you would be already dead and Hyne knows what he would have done in this case…you’re alive. Lulu needs you. You have to be strong.”

“I know…”

They kept silent. It was hard for them to think. Everything went so far so fast that they didn’t have the time to calm down. They had to find a solution.

“Where are we going now?” asked Zell.

“Esthar. Laguna took the Ragnarok with Edea, Squall and Irvine. We’re gonna join them with the Bgu. We need to protect Matron now…”

“She isn’t safe in Esthar. Ultimecia would search her there first.” Replied Zell.

“We’re not gonna hide her in Esthar…”

“Oh?”

“Yes…we’re gonna send her in space.”

“IN SPACE?”  shouted Zell surprised.

Quistis jumped with fright. “Ultimecia won’t be able to catch her there…I know it’s hard but it’s our only solution…”

“But…don’t you remember when Linoa went to space to release Adel? She could do it again…”

“No, not this time. She has to go to Lunar Gate to be sent in space. We’ll stop her there…We have to fight her anyway.”

Zell looked down and played nervously with his fingers. “Do you think…Seifer would help us to fight against her?”

“I don’t know…I’m sure he won’t fight against us, but he probably doesn’t know how to control his power yet…”

“I guess you’re right…as always…”

She approached and took Zell in her arms. “Zell…I’m so sorry. I wish I could comfort you but…I don’t wanna break your heart giving you hopes…”

“I know Quistis…you don’t have to tell me.”

 

* * *

 

Lulu stayed with Raijin and Fujin during a short time. Raijin was still injured but it wasn’t serious. Fujin talked with her. The little Seifer was with them. She decided to let them alone. She was happy that they were safe but she was depressed. She knew they were worried and sad for Vivi the same way she was. The little girl left the infirmary and walked in the Garden alone. She went to the campus and sat on a bench. She remembered this place because Zelly brought her here when she was with him. She looked down sadly and closed her eyes.

“ _Vivi? Can you hear me?”_ The little girl tried to make a mental connection with Seifer. No answer. She tried again.

_“Vivi…I know you’re here…somewhere…talk to me.”_

She kept her eyes closed, still talking to herself in silence. She was concentrate. She felt Seifer’s presence, not particularly in the Garden, but she knew he was with her.

_“Talk to me please…I need to hear your voice…please talk to me…”_

The silence was so hard to handle, but she didn’t lose hope and continued to call his father. She was worried and sad. She couldn’t stop thinking about him.

_“Vivi…I need you…please, don’t leave me…”_

**_“Lulu…I’m scared…”_ **

_“Vivi…why are you scared? About what? Is it because of “Her”?”_

**_“Not just “Her”…I’m afraid…about myself…”_ **

_“Come back to me please…”_

**_“I can’t…”_ **

_“Of course you can! I need you! Zelly needs you too…”_

**_“I can’t. They’re scared of what I became…even Zell is afraid. I can’t blame him. Look at what I am…”_ **

_“I’m not scared.”_

**_“You should…”_ **

_“I’m not. You promised me you would stay by my side forever. Did you forget?”_

**_“Of course not…it was my only wish. Staying by your side with Zell was my dream…”_ **

_“You can hold your promise. Come back to me…”_

**_“Lulu…”_ **

_“Vivi…I know what you feel…but I need you. I won’t give up on you, Zelly neither.”_

**_“…”_ **

_“Vivi?”_

**_“I’ll be by your side…but not in the way I wanted. But I’ll be with you. I’ll protect you…”_ **

_“Vivi…don’t go…”_

**_“I’m still with you. You’re not alone.”_ **

_“But…”_

**_“When the time comes, you’ll find me. I’ll be here.”_ **

Seifer stopped to talk. Lulu tried to call him when she heard someone said her name.

“Lulu? What are you doing here?”

It was Selphie. The brunette sat on the bench and put her hand on her shoulder.

“Selphy?”

“Yes, sweetie. What are you doing here?” she asked again.

“I needed to be alone. I thought about Vivi…”

Selphie caressed her cheek softly. “I’m sorry Lulu…”

“I know. How is Matron?”

“Oh…she left with Laguna, Squall and Irvine. We’re gonna hide her in a safe place…”

“Okay…” Lulu stood up and looked at the brunette. “I wanna go back to Zelly. You come with me?”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

* * *

 

The Garden and the Ragnarok arrived in the same time in Lunar Gate. Zell was still injured but he insisted to leave the infirmary and join the others. He didn’t want to let Matron go without saying goodbye to her. He walked with difficulties but Quistis and Selphie helped him. Everyone reunited in the main hall in Lunar gate. Cid was hugging his wife in his arms. Kiros and Ward joined the group and stayed by Laguna’s side. Edea needed to be far away from Ultimecia. She still had a part of her power and she wasn’t strong enough now, since Linoa was possessed again. They still had a chance to defeat her if she didn’t recover her power entirely…that was why she had to leave. There was no place enough secured in this world to stop Ultimecia…

The tension was particularly high. Could they save Linoa this time? Nobody wanted to make her bad but…they had to stop the sorceress. They didn’t have the choice anymore. Everyone knew that the final battle would come soon…


	32. The final battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> these are the last chapters...i hope you enyoyed my work. I've tried to correct all the faults in each chapter but i probably forgot a lot...  
> Have a nice weekend!

Esthar soldiers were securing the perimeter. Lunar Gate was still a small place but there were so many people to prepare Edea’s transfer that it seemed to be a city. The ex-sorceress hugged her husband tenderly and said few words to Laguna, Quistis and Squall when she fixed Zell.

“Sorry…but can I have a last word with Zell before my departure please? In privacy….” She demanded.

“Sure.” Agreed Laguna.

She approached and took Zell by his arm. They moved away from the group. Zell was still weak and suffered from his injuries but he didn’t want to let her go without saying goodbye. He was worried for her. It reminded him the day when Squall brought Linoa in the space. He asked him to stay to protect Matron…but this time, he couldn’t go with her. He felt sad…and useless.

“How are you feeling, Darling?” asked Edea, looking at him concerned.

“I’ve been better…I just hope everything will be fine for you…”

“Thank you.”

He smiled sadly. “Do…you think we can save Linoa?”

Edea looked down, embarrassed. “I don’t know Zell…I wish I could do something…but…”

“I understand…” he sighted.

She brushed his cheek tenderly. “I know you’re worried about Seifer…but you have to be strong for Lulu. I know it’s hard…”

“Matron…” Zell began to cry. “He mutated…I’m not even sure that he would recover his human form…”

“I’m so sorry, Honey…” she held the tattooed man, giving him some comfort.

“I miss him so much…what would I become without him?” he whispered against her shoulder.

“Zell…”

He released her, wiping his tears with his hand. “You should go now…be careful.”

She smiled and put a gentle kiss on his forehead before walking with him toward the others. She wasn’t afraid, just worried for them. They would fight Ultimecia again…but this time would be more difficult. She used Linoa’s body so it meant that they would probably kill her. They didn’t have any choice. They had to stop her or Time Compression would kill everyone…

**“YOU CAN’T ESCAPE FROM ME…WHEREVER YOU GO…”**

 Everyone blinked and looked around searching where the voice came from. They recognized her voice immediately.

**“YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION, DEAR PRESIDENT…SENDING ANOTHER SORCERESS IN SPACE! WHAT A PITIFUL ADMISSION OF WEAKNESS!”**

The sorceress appeared in front of them, slowly. Her body…or Linoa’s body looked like a ghost, as if it was just her spirit. After few seconds, it became normal. She still had Linoa’s figure but Ultimecia’s features on her face.

The group took their weapons and stayed in guard. Zell, who was still near of Edea hid her behind his back and fixed the sorceress.

“Fucking Bitch! Can’t you ever die?” said Zell, glaring at her.

**“OH…THE KNIGHT’S LOVER! WHERE IS YOUR PRECIOUS FIANCÉ?”**

Zell became furious. “SHUT UP!”

**“DID HE ALREADY ABANDON YOU? POOR THING…IT’S TOO BAD. I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TWO FUCKING AGAIN…IT WAS PRETTY HOT!”**

The martial artist was enraged. She made fun of him…she talked about Seifer…and she threatened Matron.

 “How dare you talk about him? FUCKING BITCH!!” He ran toward her even if he was in pain and still injured. His anger gave him the strength he needed.

**“GET LOST!”**

The sorceress raised her arm and threw a magic spell to him. Zell crashed against the wall behind him.

“ZELLY!!”

Squall, Laguna and the others started to run toward her to protect Edea but they were stopped immediately when Ultimecia threw them meteor and ultima spells. Squall was the only one lightly injured. He grabbed his gunblade and went to the sorceress. Edea used an aura spell on her and summoned her limit break “Ice Strike”.

 **“YOU’RE PATHETIC EDEA! KOULD YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT YOU KOULD DEFEAT ME WITH THIS?”** laughed the sorceress.  She slapped her head violently.

“MATRON!” yelled Squall. He faced the sorceress, protecting Edea. He raised his gunblade but he was shaking. It wasn’t Ultimecia that Squall saw…it was Linoa. His wife, the mother of their son…his soul mate. He couldn’t do it.

**“SO? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KILL YOUR PRECIOUS WIFE?”**

Squall was scared. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t let the sorceress free…but how could they defeat her without hurting Linoa? She used her body. The last time, Linoa recovered her mind but now…she was possessed. He felt so weak.

**“SUCH A USELESS THING YOU ARE! DIE!”**

“SQUALL!” shouted Edea. She grabbed Squall’s arm and dragged him behind her, protecting the gunbladist. She didn’t have the time to respond to Ultimecia’s attack that the sorceress pierced her chest with her arm, the same way Linoa did with Seifer in the cavern.

“MATRON!!!”

Squall was thrown away with the violence of her power. The others tried to help Edea but they were blinded by a bright light. They could hear Edea screaming in pain. Cid ran toward her but he was stopped by Laguna.

“EDEA!!!”

“NO! CID! YOU CAN’T!!”

Selphie and Quistis went to Squall to check his injuries. Lulu who was still with Zell looked at the scene with fear. She understood like the others it was too late for Matron now…

“Matron…” she whispered.

Zell stood up with difficulties. “It…can’t be true…”

The atmosphere changed immediately, becoming more frightening and heavy. Soldiers joined the group and raised their guns towards the sorceress. Laguna went to them.

“Stop it! You’re gonna hurt Edea!”

The light disappeared and everyone fixed the sorceress. She released Edea’s body. She fell heavily on the ground, unconscious. She seemed to have no strength anymore. Ultimecia walked in front of her, spreading her arms widely and laughed with madness.

**“AH AH AH AH AH!!!! FINALLY!!! ”**

Irvine and Cid went to Edea and tried to wake up her.

“Matron! Can you hear me?”

“Darling? Talk to me!”

But she didn’t reply. She had her eyes closed and seemed to be very weak. She lost all her power…but she was still alive. 

**“YOU KAN’T STOP ME NOW!!!”**

Soldiers were afraid. They raised their guns again and ignored Laguna’s orders.

“Kill her!” said one of the soldiers, probably the commander.

“No! Don’t shoot!!!” yelled Squall. He was terrified that Linoa could die but he couldn’t stop them, it was already too late.

**“DAMN FOOLS!!!”**

The sorceress faced them and spread her arms. The soldiers disappeared instantly, letting Squall and the others alone again. Everyone blinked in shock.

“Wh..at…What happened?” asked Kiros.

Ultimecia looked at him with her demoniac smile. **“THEY ARE LOST IN TIME….”**

The group stayed in guard position, ready to attack. “What do you mean?” asked Laguna.

**“TIME KOMPRESSION WILL START SOON! YOU KAN’T STOP IT!”**

Everything around them started to change, letting the darkness take the place of the reality. The place changed and the group was suddenly in middle of nowhere. Everything was black around them until things began to appear again. They were in her citadel. It was the same place, nothing changed, but this time, they were together.

“Where are we?” asked Cid.

**“MY KASTLE!”**

They heard noises far off…roars and shouts, probably from powerful monsters. They started to panic. They were stuck there and they had to fight. There was no hope to save Linoa. Now…they couldn’t back down anymore.

**“I RECOVERED ALL MY STRENGTH. IT’S OVER NOW…BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU AN HONORABLE DEATH. I’LL TAKE KARE OF ALL OF YOU.”**

She was still laughing when Zell faced her with a furious look. He squeezed his fists and stayed on guard. It wasn’t over yet…he would fight until his last breath, even if there was no hope anymore…he was a fighter and he would die fighting. He ran toward her, raising his fist in the air to punch her when she raised her hand and hit him on the face with an imperceptible blow. Zell fell on his knees, knocked but still conscious. He tried to regain his mind when she approached and looked at him with contempt.

**“PITIFUL…”**

The martial artist froze and couldn’t move anymore. He fixed her in the eyes and tried to struggle. She went closer. She was tracing the lines of his tattoo with her finger. He shivered when he felt her touch on his skin.

**“IF YOU WANT TO DIE SO BADLY, THEN…YOU’LL BE MY FIRST VIKTIM!”**

“ZELL!!!”

The martial artist could hear his friends calling his name in fear and running toward them, but he knew he was gonna die…her strength was too powerful for them now. She recovered all her strength and she probably used Linoa and Edea’s power too…she became stronger. It was too late…he suddenly thought about Seifer.

_“Seifer…I love you. I wish I could see you a last time…but whatever you became, please, protect Lulu. She needs you…goodbye my friends, Matron, Ma, Lulu…goodbye my love…”_

He closed his eyes, waiting for the fatal blow but he never received it. He waited for a long time when he finally opened his eyes. Lulu was between him and the sorceress, blocking Ultimecia’s fist with her little hands.

**“WH…AT..?”**

The little girl threw her a holy spell, forcing the sorceress to move back. Zell was staring at her with shock. He didn’t understand what happened…Lulu saved him.

“Lu…?” he whispered.

Raijin and Fujin went to her and Zell to help them. “How…could she…?” began to ask Fujin.

“Lulu?” demanded again Zell.

The little girl turned around and looked at them with her beautiful smile. She wasn’t afraid, on the opposite. She seemed to be confident.

“It’s okay Zelly…trust me.” She said.

 The sorceress glared at her with hatred. “ **YOU…AGAIN! IT’S BEKAUSE OF YOU I WAS LOCKED IN HIS MIND!!! I KOULD HAVE BEEN FREE A LONG TIME AGO IF ONLY HE HADN'T MET YOU!!”**

Lulu fixed her attention again on Ultimecia. She stayed on her guard and prepared herself to fight. She grabbed her little bird on her shoulder and kissed him tenderly.

“Protect Zelly, Chickie.”

The bird flew away and went to Zell’s side. The martial artist got up and went to his daughter when she raised her hand to stop him.

“Stay away Zelly!”

“But Lulu, it’s too dangerous! Come back!!” protested Zell.

“Trust me!”

“But…”

“Please Zelly! Trust me!” she said again. She didn’t look at him but she could feel how scared he was. She never stopped to fix her.

**“POOR THING…DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU KAN DEFEAT ME?”**

“I will.”

The sorceress blinked. She was just a girl and she didn’t feel the fear. She wasn’t scared at all. How could she be so confident when she was facing the most powerful sorceress it could exist in the world and through the ages?

**“I WON’T BOTHER TO FIGHT YOU…I’LL LET MY MONSTERS DO MY JOB!”**

The sorceress summoned several creatures. They weren’t just weak monsters but the most powerful ones. One of them looked like the Minotaur the group used to defeat…but it seemed to be stronger…

 **“I SUPPOSE IT REWINDS YOU OLD TIMES, GUYS!”** joked the sorceress. **“YOU DIDN’T EXPLORE THE KASTLE ENTIRELY THE LAST TIME…IT WON’T BE SO EASY TODAY…”**

Three monsters ran toward Lulu. The little girl didn’t move and stayed calm. Zell began to panic and went to her. Fujin and Raijin followed him.

“LULU! WATCH OUT!” yelled Zell in fear. A creature arrived to Lulu’s side.

The child moved on her left. She wasn’t afraid at all. The other monsters caught her…everyone thought she was gonna die or be injured but they didn’t have the time to scream that all the creatures disappeared and exploded on a bright light. The little girl seemed to summon an unknown magic spell. It was like a holy spell…but a bit different and more powerful. Zell stopped running suddenly and stayed in shock when he understood what happened…He saw Lulu’s power…she was incredible strong…

“Lulu…” he whispered softly.

Zell knew that Seifer gave her training. He taught her how to use magic and how to battle but the martial artist never saw her fighting. He couldn’t believe it…she killed about ten powerful monsters in a single action…even the sorceress seemed to be surprised.

**“LOOKS LIKE I UNDERESTIMATED YOU…YOU’RE PRETTY GOOD…BUT IT WON’T BE ENOUGH, CHILD!”**

Ultimecia raised her arm above her head. The kid fixed her intensely without any particular expression…she wasn’t angry or afraid…but very determined.

 **“LET’S SEE WHAT YOU KAN DO AGAINST THE MOST POWERFUL G-FORCE…”** she smiled with cruelty. **“KOME TO ME…KRONOS!”**

The beast appeared and roared at the group. They already fought against him the last time…but he junctioned to Ultimecia during their fight. They thought they killed him with the sorceress in the same time but now, he was here, again…still so frightening and powerful.

**“LOOK AT ALL YOUR PRECIOUS FRIENDS, CHILD! THEY’RE AFRAID… THEY ARE SO WEAK, YOU KAN’T KOUNT ON THEM …YOU’RE DEFINITELY STRONGER THAT I THOUGHT…BUT YOU KAN’T WIN AGAINST US. YOU’RE ALONE…”**

The little girl approached and faced the sorceress and her g-force.

“I’m not alone.”

Ultimecia laughed. **“ARE YOU BLIND? THEY KAN’T HELP YOU…”**

“I’ve another precious person with me…I can’t lose with him…”

The sorceress blinked. **“WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”**

Lulu crossed her hands and closed her eyes before whispering few words: “Come to me…Vivi…”

A bright light blinded everyone. The ground was suddenly covered by ice but the atmosphere was particularly hot. Fire lines appeared melting ice in some places. The lines drawn a cross in the middle of a circle…the same sign that Seifer used to wear in his grey trench coat on the arms. The emblem disappeared when a creature started to emerge on ice…fire encircled the beast and melted the ice letting appear the monster.

“Seifer?” said Zell with his eyes widely open.

He seemed to be the same creature that the last time…with some differences. His white shell was covered by black scales of dragon and he had big white wings, but black in the inside. He also had a long and thin black tail. His mutation reached the final state.

 **“STILL ALIVE MY KNIGHT?”** laughed the sorceress. **“YOUR APPEARANCE CHANGED BUT IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT IT MAKES YOU STRONGER…YOU’RE STILL WEAK AND USELESS.”**

 Lulu approached and grabbed Seifer’s left hand. He still had a human hand…it was strange because his entire body mutated. The little girl smiled and stared at him with kindness.

Ultimecia glared at him with contempt and turned her head to call her g-force.

 **“I SUPPOSE YOU REMEMBER KRONOS, MY KNIGHT? HE WAS DISAPPOINTED TO NOT HAVE THE TIME TO PLAY WITH YOU A BIT LONGER THE LAST TIME…BUT HE’S GONNA TAKE KARE OF YOU NOW.”** She looked at him. **“KILL HIM.”**

Seifer was shaking. He was afraid of him. He remembered what he did to him the last time…he couldn’t forget…Yes, he was stronger now but the sorceress was right; it didn’t mean he could win against them. Lulu squeezed his hand gently and fixed him still smiling.

“Don’t be scared Vivi, I’m with you.”

Seifer felt a bit reassured. Her words gave him more strength and courage. No more fear, no more pain…he had to fight. No time to run away like a coward, he promised Lulu he would protect her.

“Be strong Vivi…you can do it.” Repeated Lulu with her kindness.

Even if he couldn’t smile anymore because of his face, Seifer was happy. Lulu always believed in him, whatever he did or he became…it didn’t matter for her. He stopped thinking when Kronos ran toward him and grabbed his throat with his hand.

“SEIFER!!!” yelled Zell afraid.

The two creatures roared at each other and started to fight. Seifer released himself from Kronos’s grip and flew in the air. He threw him a fire spell but Ultimecia’s g-force avoided it and joined him in the air. They practically disappeared in the black and dark sky, still fighting against each other. The group couldn’t see them clearly…they just could perceive lights and hear roars.

“Hyne…what’s going on?” asked Zell, worried. He went to Lulu. “Honey…tell me.”

Lulu smiled at him. “You have to believe in Vivi, Zelly…”

“I do…but…”

They suddenly saw the creature falling on the ground. Seifer was gonna crash but he managed to escape from Kronos’s hands and stayed on his feet. He breathed heavily. He seemed to be exhausted and injured. He was bleeding from his face, on the corner of his left eye and on his mouth. He held his right bleeding arm with his other hand. Kronos wasn’t injured. He vanished instantly and appeared behind Seifer quickly. The ex-knight didn’t have the time to respond that the creature hit him with his claws on his chest. Seifer fell on the ground.

“Seifer!” shouted Zell.

He was running toward him to help his lover when Kronos saw the martial artist and raised his hand, summoning a powerful magic spell. Zell stopped running, paralyzed by the fear…he closed his eyes and hid himself with his arm when he felt something cold surrounding him. He opened his eyes and saw something white and dark. He realized it was Seifer’s shell…his lover stood up and protected him from Kronos’ attack with his back. His wings were broken and bleeding.

“Seifer!!! You’re hurt!” said Zell panicked.

Kronos didn’t let them the time to recover that he went to them and hit Seifer again, on his back. He raised his craws and scratched Seifer’s wings violently. The poor creature roared in pain, failing on his knees.

“FUCKING BASTARD!!!” yelled Zell, running with his rage and raising his fist, to Kronos.

 The martial artist used his limit break “Ring Master” and started to hit the beast when the monster found an opening and hurt roughly Zell on his shoulder. He lost his balance and fell on the ground. Kronos was about to kill him when he was punched brutally on his stomach. He moved back because of the pain and glared at Seifer who was facing him, still bleeding but without pain anymore. His eyes were full of rage.

 _“How dare you touch him?”_ thought Seifer.

He walked slowly toward Kronos. The beast threw him ultima spells but Seifer blocked it with a single hand. Nothing seemed to have impact on him anymore. His rage was so huge now that nobody could stop him. When he reached Kronos’side, he pierced his chest with his arm. He didn’t remove his arm and held the creature just in front of him before throwing him against the wall. The monster fell on the ground severely injured.

Seifer pointed his hand on his direction and traced a cross with his finger. Kronos left the ground and stayed in the air, in levitation. A hole appeared underneath his feet and another one in the sky, piercing the dark atmosphere. The beast’s body flew in the air, in the middle of the two holes when two lights burst out there: one, dark from the hole on the ground, and another white and blinding from the one on the sky. The two lights reached on the same time the creature and pulverized Ultimecia’s g-force in a giant explosion.

The sorceress blinked and looked for her g-force with her eyes. She saw nothing…the holes disappeared and the place found the same aspect again, as if nothing happened. Kronos’spirit vanished, letting the sorceress alone.

 **“IT KAN’T BE TRUE…”** whispered the sorceress. She became furious and went to Seifer ‘side. **“HOW KOULD YOU….”**

She practically reached him but she was stopped by a huge pain in the chest. She looked down and saw Lulu on her way, piercing her stomach.

“Release Liny…”

Ultimecia gasped in pain when she felt the little girl hand extracting something from her body. Suddenly, Linoa and Ultimecia’s bodies were separated from each other. Lulu’s hand was still in the sorceress stomach and threw her far away from them. Linoa fell on the flour, unconscious.

“LINOA!!!” shouted Squall.

Seifer went to her and grabbed her little body in his arms before deposing it behind Squall. He returned immediately to Lulu’s side.

“LIN!! Do you hear me?” asked Squall, shaking her weak body.

Selphie joined him. “She’s alive!!!”

She seemed to be in the same state of Edea…unconscious, weak and powerless but alive. The two women were exhausted, probably because Ultimecia sucked up all their energy. Squall hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead, relieved. She was alive…and safe.

The sorceress was still gasping and began to recover her mind and her strength. She glared at Lulu with hatred. She was enraged now.

**“WHAT…SO SPECIAL ABOUT YOU? YOU’RE JUST A KID!!! HOW KAN YOU BE SO STRONG???”**

The little girl approached slowly. “I’m not strong.”

Ultimecia yelled in rage and threw her magic spells, one after another. But Lulu avoided it and blocked it with her hand. She didn’t stop walking to her.

“I told you I will defeat you.”

The sorceress was in fury. She summoned and concentrated all her magic and threw it to Lulu but nothing changed. She couldn’t stop the kid. She wasn’t even injured…Ultimecia couldn’t believe it and continued to throw magic spells when Lulu reached her side. She was in front of her now, looking at her without triumph or something…

 **“YOU…YOU KAN’T DEFEAT…ME…”** said with difficulties Ultimecia. She felt on her knees and tried to breathe.

The girl raised her hands just above Ultimecia’s head and said with a sad voice. “Your dream will never come true, Miss…accept your fate.”

**“HOW DARE YOU…”**

But she couldn’t finish her sentence when Lulu closed her eyes, summoning a magic spell. A bright light appeared and the little girl turned her back. She began to walk away when the sorceress called her.

 **“WHAT? THAT’S ALL?”** she asked.

The little girl stopped but didn’t turn around. “I used your own power against you…it’s over.”

**“WHAT?”**

Ultimecia started to feel strange. Her body became weak and fragile. She fixed her hands and saw her skin changing quickly. It became wrinkled. She touched her own face and felt wrinkles too. She grew old faster and faster in each second.

 **“WHAT’S GOING ON?”** she demanded. **“MY FACE…MY BODY…”**

Even her voice was older…after few seconds, she was already an old and weak woman. She became thinner and winkled. She lost her hair and fell on her knees, she couldn’t support her own weight with her feet anymore.

“You can’t control the time anymore because it’s acting on you right now…” said Lulu.

**“WHAT…WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”**

“Time is speeding up on you. The effects of Time compression are acting on you…the world will survive but you’re gonna disappear soon…” explained the kid.

 **“NO! NO! YOU’RE LYING!!! I KAN’T DISAPEAR!!!”** protested Ultimecia. “ **YOU KAN’T BE SO STRONG!!!”**

“I told you I’m not strong…I just used your own power against you. This is your own strength that’s killing you now, not mine…”

The sorceress fell on her back and breathed with difficulties. She understood that she was dying slowly. Paradoxically, she was dying from her natural death…

 **“WH…Y? HOW…HOW KOULD…YOU…”** whispered the sorceress in her last breath.

Lulu sighted. “I promised Vivi that I won’t be nasty against anybody…it’s true that I hate you because of what you did to him, to Zelly and to everybody…but I didn’t want let my hatred betray my promise…that’s why I returned your power against you…I’m sorry…”

**“SO..RR..Y?”**

The girl didn’t reply. She was sorry because she never wanted that. She hated the sorceress…but she was too kind to kill anybody…plus she promised Seifer.

**“I…DON’T WANT…Y..OUR PI.TY…”**

The girl closed her eyes when she felt Ultimecia’s death. “Rest in peace now…”

A bright light blinded everyone and when people opened their eyes, they were in Lunar Gate again. Ultimecia disappeared definitively…there was no sign of her presence. Her power vanished and they were returned to their time. Everyone was safe and alive…the nightmare was over now.


	33. Forever yours

After the fight, the group was returned to Lunar Gate. Edea and Linoa were safe but still weak and unconscious. Cid and Squall were by their side. Nobody were severely injured except Seifer. Zell turned his back to fix his lover and walked to him. He summoned several curaga on him without saying a word. He was worried. Lulu joined them and helped Zell to cure the creature. Seifer sat on the ground, avoiding eye-contact with them.

“We should bring Edea and Linoa to the infirmary.” Suggested Laguna.

Squall and Cid agreed when Fujin, Raijin and Quistis looked Lulu and Zell.

“What about Seifer?” asked Fujin.

“We should bring him in the laboratory. I’m sure Valentine will help us.” Proposed Quistis.

Zell was gonna touch his lover’s shoulder when he moved back and pushed him away lightly. The martial artist froze and didn’t understand why Seifer ran away from him.

“Seif? Don’t be scared…I’m not gonna hurt you…” said Zell with sadness.

But the creature looked down…he knew his lover was concerned but he couldn’t let Zell touch him…he wasn’t a human anymore, but a frightening and an ugly monster. He didn’t see his face in a mirror since he had mutated, but he could imagine what he looked like now…and the truth was Seifer was afraid about himself.

“Honey…come with us please. Nobody will hurt you, I promise. “ told Zell.

Lulu went to Seifer. “Zelly is right, Vivi. Come with us.”

She continued to walk toward him when she reached his side. She took his human hand and squeezed it gently. She was smiling.

“I knew you could do it. You protected me and Zelly.”

**_“You’re the one who defeated Ultimecia. I didn’t do anything Lulu…”_ **

“Yes you did. You gave me your strength. Her monster was strong and you beat him. You didn’t let him hurt Zelly…”

**_“I should have locked her in my soul…I wasn’t strong enough…”_ **

“Don’t say that.”

The group frowned. They couldn’t hear Seifer speaking…just Lulu. But they understood that she was probably talking to him since she was able to summon him. Seifer was a g-force now so he could communicate with his master.

“Honey? What did he say to you?” asked Zell, approaching.

The kid didn’t release Seifer’s hand and turned her back to face Zell.

“Zelly…Vivi feels guilty. He said it was his fault if the sorceress escaped from his mind…”

“No, Honey! It’s not your fault! Don’t think that!” exclaimed Zell.

“Yes, Seifer. You did everything you could to protect us. You can’t blame yourself.” Added Quistis.

“That’s right, man! You saved us with Lulu, ya know?” said Raijin.

Selphie ran toward them. “But…how could you do that? I mean…I understand why Seifer became so strong but what about you Lulu?”

“Yes! I wanna know. How did you know the way to defeat her?” asked Laguna.

Lulu looked at them and fixed her attention to Seifer again. She never let his hand go, as if she was afraid to lose him. She didn’t want to be separated from him again.

“I could read Vivi’s thoughts since I met him…and all of your thoughts since you were related to him. Vivi never exclaimed me why or how…but I know I’ve got this power from my mother. He promised me he will tell me everything when I’ll grow up.”

She made a pause and squeezed his hand a little bit more.

“After what happened in the cavern, Vivi told me he would fight with me against the sorceress and he explained me everything about her. He told me she wanted to make Time Compression to live forever…but when Liny became her slave, Vivi said that she recovered a part of her power and she sucked all Liny’s power too. She wanted to do the same with Matron and…she did. She was stronger this time because she used Matron and Liny’s powers in addition of her own strength. She concentrated the power of three most powerful sorceresses…and it was hard for you to fight her because she used Liny’s body.”

“But…your strength was so huge. You defeated monsters with a single blow!” exclaimed Zell.

“That was Vivi’s magic. He gave it to me when he became my g-force…he explained me everything about guardians-force…”

“But what about Ultimecia?” demanded Kiros. “How could you return her own power against her?”

She looked down. “I read Zelly’s thoughts when Mister Ponytail said to him that to escape from the effects of Time Compression, we had to think of our friends and family to not be lost in time…and I realized the sorceress didn’t have anyone to love…”

“But her g-force Kronos?” asked Irvine.

“She didn’t love him…she just needed his power and anyway, Vivi defeated him, so she lost everything. I just used a magic spell on her to return Time Compression against her. She was alone, so she couldn’t survive and she died from her own power…”

“A magic spell?” demanded Fujin.

“Yes…a boomerang spell or something like that but it was a powerful one. Vivi gave it to me…”

Zell put a knee on the ground and looked at her daughter with a smile, caressing her hair gently. He became serious and fixed her.

“Why…did you apologize to her when she was dying?” he asked.

The girl blushed. “I…saw her pain in her eyes. I was sad for her because she understood that her wish would never become true…I hated her because of what she did to Vivi and to you…but she reminded me…”

Zell blinked. “What do you mean, sweetie?”

“When Popy died…I prayed every day that when I would wake up in the morning he would be there, but every time i saw his empty chair, I felt depressed. I stopped to hope one day when I realized my wish would never come true and he would never come back…I felt the same pain I saw in her eyes when she was dying…and I feel the same pain in Vivi’s eyes now…”

The little girl began to cry, hiding her face with her empty hand. Seifer released himself from her grip and put his human hand on her head, rubbing her hair softly. Zell fixed Seifer with tears in the eyes.

“Seifer…” he whispered.

But Lulu grabbed his legs and hugged him tightly. “I won’t let you go Vivi. I don’t wanna you leave me! I need you!!!” She couldn’t stop crying.

Seifer stayed in the same position several minutes when he finally grabbed her arm and put a knee on the ground. He touched her face with his human hand.

**_“Lulu…I gave you my power…so I’ll be with you forever. I’ll be there to protect you wherever you go…but I can’t return to my human form now…”_ **

“Vivi…”

**_“Popy didn’t lie to you when he told you there was someone who was waiting for you and who would protect you…I’ll protect you…but I can’t be with you the way you want…”_ **

“Don’t let me…”

**_“Zell is with you. You’re not alone…”_ **

“I know…but Zelly needs you too…”

**_“I know…”_ **

Zell stayed silent. He couldn’t hear what Seifer said but he could guess. Lulu’s tears were pretty eloquent…she was right: Zell needed Seifer. He had Lulu but he didn’t know if he could take care of her well without his lover by his side…

**_“Lulu…I want you know how much I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. I never expected that I could feel this for anyone…I love you with all of my heart, never forget it…”_ **

“Vivi…”

Seifer removed the bracelet that Lulu gave him for his birthday and put it in her little hand. The little girl frowned.

“Why…do you return my gift Vivi? You don’t like it anymore?”

**_“No sweetie…it’s just…I can’t keep it because…each time I’ll see it, it will remind me you. It’s not like I could forget you but…it’s gonna hurt me more…please, don’t be mad…”_ **

“I’m not mad…”

**_“I love you…”_ **

“I love you too Vivi…”

Zell came closer and fixed his fiancé with insistence. He wanted to tell him so many things but he didn’t know what to do. Seifer noticed him and got up.

**_“Lulu…I want to talk to Zell but he can’t hear me…could you repeat to him what I’m gonna say?”_ **

“Sure…”

Zell frowned. “What’s going on?”

“Zelly…Vivi wants to say something to you…” she began to explain. She wiped her tears with her hand. “Vivi said that he really loves you and he will never forgive himself for what happened to you…”

“Seifer! Don’t be sorry…it’s not your fault!” replied the martial artist.

“Vivi said it was because you love him and he regrets to have caused so many troubles and pain in our life…”

“Honey…don’t…please…”

“But…Vivi said that he never felt so alive and happy the day you said you loved him and he wants to thank you for everything you did for him…even if…” The little girl stopped and fixed Seifer. “I can’t say that Vivi!!!”

**_“Please sweetie…”_ **

Zell blinked. “What is it?”

Lulu sighted and continued. “Even if…he never deserved your love or mine...because he’s bad…”

“Seifer! Stop saying that!!!” yelled Zell annoyed when the creature traced the line of his tattoo with his finger.

“Vivi said he always loved your tattoo…it makes you gorgeous…”

The martial artist blushed, embarrassed. Seifer finally grabbed his hand and gave him his ring. Lulu approached and cried, more depressed.

“Vivi…hopes one day you will find someone who will deserve you better than him and will make you happy…”

Zell started to understand why Lulu was so sad. Seifer was saying goodbye to them…he didn’t want to imagine what would be his life without him.

“Seifer…no! You won’t leave, don’t you? Listen…I’m sure Valentine will help you and…” began to say Zell when Seifer put his finger on his lips.

After few seconds, his human hand mutated and he moved it away. Seifer fixed his lover in the eyes and even if he knew Zell couldn’t hear him, he confessed his feeling mentally to him a last time.

**_“I love you…”_ **

These words resounded in Zell’s brain as if he could hear distinctly Seifer whispered that to him. The creature began to walk when the martial artist grabbed his waist and held him tightly.

“DON’T GO!!! I’M BEGGING YOU! DON’T GO!!” supplied Zell in tears.

Seifer stayed on his feet and began to vanish slowly. It hurt…but he had to go. Lulu joined Zell and grabbed his hand forcing him to release the creature. Zell looked at her and cried with more tears.

“I love you…” whispered Zell.

The creature turned his back and fixed his daughter and his lover with sadness. He would have given everything to stay with them, but he didn’t belong to the human world anymore…When he was gonna disappear, he heard Lulu’s last words.

“I love you…Seifer.”

The ex-knight blinked when he heard her words. It was the first time Lulu said his name…his real name…he became Vivi the day he met her. It was her way to say that she loved him unconditionally…whoever he was…Vivi or Seifer, he was the same person, the same man she loved forever. He smiled, crying and vanished completely.

 

* * *

Few months later.

Everyone returned to a normal life. Laguna, Quistis, Kiros and Ward went back to Esthar. Edea and Linoa stayed in the city to make some analyses the first days after the fight. Squall and Cid were with them. After a deep exam, they discovered that the two women lost all their power. They weren’t sorceresses anymore. They returned to Balamb after few days, joining Selphie and Irvine.

Raijin and Fujin left the Garden and went to live in Timber. After what happened with Seifer, they didn’t have the courage to go back in the Garden. They knew their friend wasn’t dead but they would never see him again…and it hurt them a lot. They thought they lost him forever and they couldn’t support the idea that some of students in Garden were still responsible of what happened to Zell. They lost faith in Garden and couldn’t trust anyone anymore…it was too hard for them, even if Squall and Trabia’s headmaster made an investigation to find the guilty persons.

It was harder for Zell and Lulu. After Ultimecia’s death, they returned to Winhill. The martial artist took Seifer’s place in his workshop and was the handyman of the little village now. His mother stayed with him and Lulu. She was particularly worried for Zell’s mental health. He became thinner and quieter since Seifer left. He lost all of his joy and didn’t talk often. He became cold and moved away from his friends. Everyone was really concerned about him but he never talked to anyone, except Lulu. He couldn’t hide his emotions and his feelings with her…and she understood him better than anybody. She also lost Seifer…even if he was living in her as a g-force.

Everything recalled Seifer to Zell. He let his scent in his workshop and in the house…Hyperion, clothes, pictures…everything was related to him. Zell remembered the first time he went to his workshop after the fight. He found two magazines on his desk. Seifer had highlighted a pair of gloves and a T-board. Lulu had explained him that he was thinking about his birthday gift…the martial artist had cried so much this day...

 

In the middle of a morning, Squall went to Winhill with Quistis. Zell didn’t call or talk to them since four months. They took news from his mother, but they were worried for him. They thought he needed to be alone, that was why they didn’t come earlier. When they arrived in his house, they were welcomed by Ma Dincht.

“Squall, Quistis! Nice to see you!”

“Hi Miss Dincht. How are you?”

“Fine…I’m sorry but Zell is in his workshop and Lulu at school. Wanna take a cup of coffee?”

“Sure.” Agreed the two friends. They entered in the small house. “Do you live here permanently now?”

The woman prepared cups and some biscuits. “No…I’m gonna go back to Balamb in the end of the week…”

They sat. The woman went back to the living room with a plate and began to serve them.

“So…how is he?” demanded Squall.

Miss Dincht sighted, sadly. “Not good at all…I’m trying to help him but he never talks to me. He says he’s fine and he smiles every time…but you know Zell. He’s not a good liar so…the more he smiles the more he lies and feels bad…”

They looked down, drinking in silence. Nobody knew how they could help him. Four months already passed and nothing changed for Zell. He was still distant.

“What about Lulu?” asked Quistis.

“Ah…she talks to me more than him. To be honest with you, I’ve the impression that she handles it better than Zell. She’s sad…but she helps him a lot. I don’t know what he would have done if she wasn’t here…”

“Lulu can speak to Seifer because she has his power, so it’s like he’s with her all the time since she is her master…” explained Quistis.

“I know…she told me.” Replied Miss Dincht.

Squall stood up. “I’m gonna see Zell at his workshop.”

“I’m coming with you.” Said Quistis.

Miss Dincht agreed and waved at them. The two friends left the house and walked slowly in the streets. When they arrived, Zell was on his back, repairing a gun. He didn’t notice Squall and Quistis’s presence immediately.

“Hi Zell.”

The martial artist looked at them surprised and put the gun on the desk. “Oh…sorry guys! I didn’t see you. Come in.”

They went to him slowly and smiled. They looked at each other. Zell was particularly thin since the last time they saw him and he had dark rings under his eyes. He probably didn’t sleep very well.

“So? What’s up?” demanded Zell.

“Nothing special…Garden and Esthar are still the same…What about you?” demanded Quistis with a hesitant tone.

Zell returned to his gun. He wanted to avoid eye-contact with them. He knew they spoke to his mother to have some news about him…he never called them because he wanted to be alone with Lulu and his mother…and on the same time, he couldn’t support to see that everyone was returned to a normal life with their lover, except him…he wasn’t jealous about their happiness but he couldn’t fake to be happy for them since he wasn’t happy for himself…

“I’m fine…How are the others?” he replied.

“Good. Zack misses Lulu. He talks to me about her every time…” said Squall.

“Yeah. I notice he really loves her a lot.”

“You should come with her in Balamb. Everyone would be happy to see you two.”

Zell stayed silent. Squall and Quistis looked each other, embarrassed. They didn’t know what to say. They knew that Zell was impulsive and he would react badly if they pushed him too hard.

“We talked to your mother. She said she’s gonna come back to Balamb. Are you gonna go with her?” asked Squall.

“No. Lulu has school and I don’t wanna go to Balamb.” He still didn’t look at them.

“Maybe during holidays? What about Esthar? It will be Kiros’s birthday in few weeks…” proposed Quistis.

“I hate this city.” Zell turned his back and grabbed some tools. “Everything started…and ended there. I don’t wanna go.”

Squall and Quistis felt guilty. Zell didn’t blame them directly but there were some reproaches on his words. Yes…he was right. They forced Seifer to come to Esthar. At this time, they believed in Geyser and they thought he could help him…if only they didn’t ask him to perform these experiences, he would have never mutated. Yes, Ultimecia had been killed for real this time and her power disappeared completely…Edea and Linoa were safe without her power…but the price they had to pay for this was huge, especially for Zell and Lulu. 

Squall sighted and decided he had to talk frankly with his friend.

“Zell, listen…we’re worried for you. I know it’s hard for you but we’re your friends and…”

“I told you I’m fine Squall.”

“You’re not fine…look at you! You’re skinny!!”

Quistis tried to restrain Squall. She didn’t want to see her friends argue…even if she knew Zell needed help.

“You look like a zombie! Zell, you have to see a doctor or a psychiatrist!” continued Squall.

Zell got up and threw everything on his desk on the ground with his arm, in rage. “SHUT UP! I DON’T NEED YOUR CONCERN!”

“Zell, calm down please…” said Quistis.

Squall crossed his arms. “It’s not safe for you or for Lulu to stay like this…you need help Zell…”

The martial artist breathed heavily and sat on his chair. He hid his face with his hand. He didn’t want to cry in front of them but it was hard for him to contain himself.

“Zell…I know it’s hard but…”

“You don’t know anything Squall...”

The brunette sighted. “You have the right to blame me…and to hate me…but I’m still concerned about you.”

Zell gave him a look and held his head with his hands. “Why…everything still ended so badly for him?”

His friends had no answer. They wanted to comfort him, but they couldn’t find anything to say. There was nothing to say…

“I…wanted to make him happy but, in the end…”

“Zell, it’s not your fault…but mine. I should have never asked him to meet Geyser…or I should have never chased him away since the beginning. He was happy in Winhill with Lulu…” said Squall. He seemed to be sincere and sad. 

“It doesn’t change anything to blame yourself, Squall. That wouldn't bring him back…”

“I’m really sorry Zell…”

“I know…but even if you couldn’t guess what would happen, a part of me can’t forgive you, it’s selfish but I can’t help it…I hope you understand…”

“Of course…”

“Thank you.”

 The tall brunette went to him and put his hand on Zell’s shoulder. “We miss you…”

“I know…me too, but I can’t face you…I don’t have the courage for this, so please…don’t ask me to come back to Balamb…”

Quistis approached. “Zell…we’re your friends…we don’t want to let you suffer like this and fake as if you were okay…”

“It’s nice of you and I appreciate your concern, guys, but…all of you have the one you love by your side…I have Lulu…I have my Ma…but I miss him. It’s too hard to watch everybody so happy when I feel so lonely. He deserved it more than everyone but he’s the one who didn’t have this right…he had the right to be happy…to be loved too… ”

“Zell…”

“I can’t change anything…but it doesn’t mean I have to accept this. I begin to understand why you became so cold and what you felt when Ellone left the orphanage now…”

“That is why I don’t wanna see you become like me. You’ll suffer if you stay like this…” exclaimed Squall.

“It couldn’t be worse than that…” whispered the tattooed man.

“Don’t say that…” pledged Quistis sadly.

The martial artist stood up. “I’ll come to visit you later, I promise…but please, I need more time…don’t be mad but it hurts too much to talk about this…so please…”

 Squall and Quistis looked down and decided they should do what he demanded. He wasn’t ready to open his heart now…

“Fine…call us whenever you want, okay?” asked Squall, hugging his friend in his arms.

“Sure, thanks.”

Quistis approached and kissed his forehead. “Try to eat a bit more…”

“Okay…”

 

* * *

Miss Dincht left Winhill at the end of the week. Zell and Lulu were together again. They explored the continent when they had the time. They went to the mountains, to the land or to the beach often…even if they didn’t have the heart to be happy. They talked often about Seifer. The house was a bit empty without him but they had to accept it.

After dinner, Lulu went to her bedroom. Zell was very tired but he couldn’t sleep. He kept his eyes closed but Seifer’s face never left his mind. He cried often when he though Lulu was sleeping, but the little girl joined him practically every night because she made nightmares. This night wasn’t different of the other days.

“Zelly?”

The martial artist turned on the light. “Yes, sweetie? A nightmare?”

“Hum…”

“Come in my arms.”

The kid cuddled in Zell’s arms and they covered themselves with the blanket. She put her head on Zell’s chest and hugged him tightly.

“You were crying…”

Zell sighted. “Yes…I’m sorry to worry you all the time…”

“Don’t…”

After a long silence, Lulu raised her body to see her father’s face. “If you wanna cry, you don’t have to wait that I’m asleep…”

The tattooed man smiled sadly. “You know…I understand why Seifer used to call me “cry baby” when I was a child…”

She touched his face gently. “He cried too when he slept…”

Zell frowned. “Ah?”

“Yes…he made nightmares every night…that’s why I slept with him…”

“I…don’t understand…”

“I lied to him when I said I made nightmares…I was worried for him and I knew if I stayed with him, I could protect him…because he thought about me and not about “her” or what he had done…” she admitted.

Zell hugged her against his chest. “And…you do the same thing with me now, don’t you?”

She hid her face and nodded silently. He smiled and kissed her hair. He loved her so much, she was too cute.

“Thank you so much Lulu…I feel better when you are with me…”

“Really?”

“Yes. You know I can’t lie to you.”

“I believe in you…”

 

After few hours, Lulu was completely asleep. Zell managed to sleep a little but he woke up early in the morning. He looked at the little girl in his arms and smiled, caressing gently her hair. He moved slowly and covered her with the blanket again, before leaving the bedroom. He went to the kitchen and opened the window. The little bird joined him, flying and stayed on his shoulder.

“Tweet…tweet…”

“Hi Chickie.”

Zell let the cold air caressing his face. He closed his eyes, breathing. The sun was starting to rise, changing the color of the sky slowly. He grabbed Seifer’s ring on his chest. He wore his fiancé’s ring with a chain around his neck, the same way Linoa used to do with Squall’s pendant. He fixed the ring and noticed something was written inside. He never paid attention to this detail before. He looked closer and saw few words.

_“Forever yours my love.”_

 Zell smiled without sadness this time. He was happy…as if he finally found hope again. The love he shared with Seifer would be eternal…because it was real and strong. They belonged to each other and there was no way that Zell could rebuild another life with another one…Seifer was the one.

“Forever yours…Seifer.”

 

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done! I think to write a sequel but i'm not sure about this...if you wanna give me your opinion, it will be a pleasure!!  
> Thanks for reading  
> ^_^


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